(Disclaimer: Angel Sanctuary will never be mine unfortunately or thankfully I see the flamers coming.X_x)
Angst
Gabriel/Alexiel
-------------
Morning Star
By Cerise Rant
I, Gabriel, feel the night so fondly when the darkness is ever so complete. I am waiting in this sweet abode. Gentle yet invisible fingers of the wind trail through my loose hair reminding me that I can still feel the world that is there.
~Our Father which art in heaven,~
~Hallowed be thy name.~
There is a sad voice singing in my head. I know not what she says but the sweet pain I feel in the echoes brings the tears to my eyes as I watch for the last star. One that will bring her to me even if it is her after her fall. After her God has cast her aside not for her transgression but doubting in his forgiveness. For believing him too simple to comprehend her reasons and her retched actions.
~Thy kingdom come.~
~Thy will be done in earth,~
~as it is in heaven.~
I know she will be here soon I see the false dawn approaching and the birds stirring in their roosts.
The voice quickens her singing and I feel this overwhelming sense of dread. Will she finally choose me as her companion or will she so hate me for those actions that she will cast me further aside. I so remember those horrid actions I supported her in doing and even aided.
~Give us this day our daily bread.~
I should not of done it. Should not of told her it was all okay even though we both knew it was not. Yet, I laid down and let her continue, pulling her into my damnation. She was damned by my choices as much as her own. I feel sadly responsible but I do not regret my actions. I refuse to. The good moments are still to fresh in my mind despite the time that has passed. Those precious moments that lay my troubled mind to sleep at night.
~And forgive us our trespasses,~
~as we forgive those who trespass against us.~
She kept me in the physical. Away from those thoughts of the after that tear me up inside. Thoughts of damnation and lost hope. Where is she now? My hope. My little light against the big, bad darkness that religion had become. Where can I hide when I am forced to stand there and be judged? I choose this path long ago. This path offered oblivion and freedom from it all. What did the other path offer that was not stalked by pain that one know is coming but still is shocked by. At least where I now stand I can accept that pain more fully and become cold as the tombstone I perch on.
I see her form coming now. A white blur silhouetted against the lightening sky. A sparkle that has given up thrashing and eyes now closed in ultimate grief.
Without a sound she crashes into the earth. The earth does not acknowledge her yet to be one of its new residents. Another cast from heaven.
She lays there not moving so I leave my perch silently and go down the crater to her form. Her face is calm as she lays there with glistering tears slipping out from under those soft eyelashes.
I trace a finger along the trail of a tear and she opens her eyes. Those pitiful for eyes stare at me and the grief and rage I expect are not there. Instead she looks at me with pity. That pitying look I have always hated. I shreds into my chest and sears my twisted heart.
With that look I know she is not cast aside, instead she has come to try to take me there with her. Not out of love but because she pities me.
I flinch away and stare in horror as she stands. I see now that her wings are not black like mine but a white so pure that it blurs into the rising sun.
A scream rises in my throat as I turn to flee and am caught in her embrace. Warm arms and gentle wings encircle me and hold me firmly as I strive to get free.
She lifted me into the air with her. As we rose together basked in the light of the rising sun. I feel everything that was left inside crumble as the light intensified. Tears were streaming down both our cheeks but whereas hers were of joy mine were despair.
~And lead us not into temptation,~
~but deliver us from evil:~
There is nothing beyond the light coming surrounding me and my insides shatter. What little was left is dust....
....a faint sad dust ....
......drifting down....
....the pain....
~For thine is the kingdom,~
~and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.~
....is no more....
....my spirit....
...fades...
..away.
~Amen.~
Angst
Gabriel/Alexiel
-------------
Morning Star
By Cerise Rant
I, Gabriel, feel the night so fondly when the darkness is ever so complete. I am waiting in this sweet abode. Gentle yet invisible fingers of the wind trail through my loose hair reminding me that I can still feel the world that is there.
~Our Father which art in heaven,~
~Hallowed be thy name.~
There is a sad voice singing in my head. I know not what she says but the sweet pain I feel in the echoes brings the tears to my eyes as I watch for the last star. One that will bring her to me even if it is her after her fall. After her God has cast her aside not for her transgression but doubting in his forgiveness. For believing him too simple to comprehend her reasons and her retched actions.
~Thy kingdom come.~
~Thy will be done in earth,~
~as it is in heaven.~
I know she will be here soon I see the false dawn approaching and the birds stirring in their roosts.
The voice quickens her singing and I feel this overwhelming sense of dread. Will she finally choose me as her companion or will she so hate me for those actions that she will cast me further aside. I so remember those horrid actions I supported her in doing and even aided.
~Give us this day our daily bread.~
I should not of done it. Should not of told her it was all okay even though we both knew it was not. Yet, I laid down and let her continue, pulling her into my damnation. She was damned by my choices as much as her own. I feel sadly responsible but I do not regret my actions. I refuse to. The good moments are still to fresh in my mind despite the time that has passed. Those precious moments that lay my troubled mind to sleep at night.
~And forgive us our trespasses,~
~as we forgive those who trespass against us.~
She kept me in the physical. Away from those thoughts of the after that tear me up inside. Thoughts of damnation and lost hope. Where is she now? My hope. My little light against the big, bad darkness that religion had become. Where can I hide when I am forced to stand there and be judged? I choose this path long ago. This path offered oblivion and freedom from it all. What did the other path offer that was not stalked by pain that one know is coming but still is shocked by. At least where I now stand I can accept that pain more fully and become cold as the tombstone I perch on.
I see her form coming now. A white blur silhouetted against the lightening sky. A sparkle that has given up thrashing and eyes now closed in ultimate grief.
Without a sound she crashes into the earth. The earth does not acknowledge her yet to be one of its new residents. Another cast from heaven.
She lays there not moving so I leave my perch silently and go down the crater to her form. Her face is calm as she lays there with glistering tears slipping out from under those soft eyelashes.
I trace a finger along the trail of a tear and she opens her eyes. Those pitiful for eyes stare at me and the grief and rage I expect are not there. Instead she looks at me with pity. That pitying look I have always hated. I shreds into my chest and sears my twisted heart.
With that look I know she is not cast aside, instead she has come to try to take me there with her. Not out of love but because she pities me.
I flinch away and stare in horror as she stands. I see now that her wings are not black like mine but a white so pure that it blurs into the rising sun.
A scream rises in my throat as I turn to flee and am caught in her embrace. Warm arms and gentle wings encircle me and hold me firmly as I strive to get free.
She lifted me into the air with her. As we rose together basked in the light of the rising sun. I feel everything that was left inside crumble as the light intensified. Tears were streaming down both our cheeks but whereas hers were of joy mine were despair.
~And lead us not into temptation,~
~but deliver us from evil:~
There is nothing beyond the light coming surrounding me and my insides shatter. What little was left is dust....
....a faint sad dust ....
......drifting down....
....the pain....
~For thine is the kingdom,~
~and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.~
....is no more....
....my spirit....
...fades...
..away.
~Amen.~