Regina
They hadn't even arrived yet and Regina was already regretting inviting them over instead of going out to a bar like they usually would. She'd had a particularly taxing day and as a result she had been late leaving work. Now she was behind in preparing for the evening ahead. Ever the perfect hostess she wasn't going to be satisfied with just putting out a bowl of peanuts for her guests to nibble on as they drank. No, Regina Mills was in the midst of preparing a feast. She never did makes things easy for herself.
She had been hoping to spend a bit of time with Henry after work and before he went to his Grandma's for the night but because she was running so late she had to ask Cora to pick her grandson up from school, which she readily agreed to. He was use to staying with Cora when Regina was working very late. It didn't happen often but both Henry and Cora enjoyed it when it did.
This was not how her day was supposed to go, but seen as she had previously cancelled twice on Zelena and Kathryn, a third time would be pushing her luck. She would just have to get through tonight and that should keep the girls off her back for a couple more weeks. It's not like she didn't enjoy their company but the incessant attempts at trying to hook her up were wearing thin. She wished they would just understand that she was content with things the way they are. That was the main reason she had invited them around instead of going out, they couldn't try to fix her up with someone if there was no one there to fix her up with.
Just as she placed the last of the many canapés on the kitchen counter there was a knock at the front door, followed by the door being swung open, just as Regina stepped out into the foyer.
"Honey, I'm home," was bellowed out in a brash English accent. Not for the first time in her life Regina wondered if maybe Cora had accidentally taken the wrong child home from hospital when Zelena was born. They were absolute polar opposites but nevertheless they loved each other dearly. With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, Regina chastises Zelena for nearly taking the door off its hinges.
"Really, Zelena? Please do try to show some decorum."
"Seriously, Sis? That door is harder than Sidney when you wear... well, anything," she replies with a smirk and a wink.
"Eww," sounds from behind Zelena as Kathryn steps past her to greet Regina with a smile and a hug.
"Something smells nice," she says, looking towards the kitchen.
Declaring herself to be starving, Zelena walks past them both and into the kitchen. The blonde leans closer to Regina and whispers, "she was necking vodka in the taxi ride on the way over." They both glance towards the redhead as she comes back from the kitchen, a canapé in each hand and a mouth full of mulched up food.
"I dunno what dese are but fuck me dey are good," she mumbles around the food masticating in her open mouth.
"Dear lord, don't talk with your mouth full and please use one of the plates that I have provided for you. I do not want crumbs all over my floor."
She swallows the mush in her mouth and rolls her eyes at her uptight sister. "Well then, you should have let us go out like we usually do. You're the one that decided on this little shindig instead. Speaking of which, it's time to crack open the booze before I start sobering up." She shudders at the mere thought.
The two sober women follow Zelena into the kitchen to find her with her head in Regina's alcohol cupboard. She moves a few wine bottles out of the way and gasps, "ah, there you are my pretty!" She turns around holding a bottle of Regina's famous apple cider, with a twinkle in her eyes.
"No you don't," Regina demands as she grabs the bottle from her hands and puts it aside.
"That's for people I like."
"So it's never going to see the light of day?" She teasingly questions the brunette.
Their light hearted bickering is interrupted by the sound of another cupboard door closing and Kathryn passes them both a glass.
"No, ta doll," Zelena grimaces at the glass before she digs around in her handbag. After a few seconds she pulls out a straw and grabs the wine bottle that Regina has just uncorked, straight from her hands and pops the straw inside.
"What?" She asks the two women staring at her in confusion, or is it disgust? She shrugs her shoulders and begins sucking heavily on the straw.
Kathryn bursts out laughing whilst shaking her head at Zelena's antics. She takes another bottle of expensive red wine off the counter and pours herself a hearty glass. She moves the bottle over to Regina's glass but the brunette puts her hand over it with a shake of her head.
"I'll let it breathe for a few minutes first."
Zelena manages to prise the straw from her lips just long enough to call Regina a posh twat and then gets back to it. If looks could kill, Zelena would be a pile of ash on the floor.
"Maybe this is why I would rather not go out with you in public."
"Bollocks. You've been put with me plenty of times."
"Well maybe I'm also fed up with you trying to set me up on dates."
"The truth shall set you free," Zelena declares whilst flinging her arms open wide in a flamboyant manner, her thumb placed over the top of the wine, careful not to spill any of it.
Kathryn butts in with "Sweety, your life revolves around running this town and looking after Henry. It would do you good to let loose and enjoy yourself."
"How do you suppose I make time let loose when, as you say, I have a town to run, a child to raise and a semi functioning alcoholic of a sister to take care of?" She says the last part with a teasing glare at her sister.
"Aww Sis, I didn't know you cared."
"I don't care. I just hate your behaviour sullying my good name."
Kathryn shakes her head, something she does a lot around these two, then grabs the open bottle of wine and makes her way to the lounge. She has known them both since she was a little girl and she knows how much they love each other but part of their dynamic is to snipe and bitch at each other.
She has been Regina's best friend since they started Kindergarten the same year, Zelena was a few years older than them both but they all grew up together. She agrees with Zelena though, Regina has never been very open with her feelings or with people in general and since her relationship with Mal ended, she has only gotten worse. She would really love for her friend to find happiness with another.
"Nothing and no one has sullied you in years, if you catch my drift," Zelena smirks as she wriggles her eyebrows as they enter the lounge.
The blonde is already sitting at one end of the couch, with the same amused look on her face, as Regina takes a seat at the other end of the couch and Zelena plonks her drunken ass on the love seat.
"So what do you have planned for us tonight besides the booze and enough food to feed a small nation?" The red head asks with a bored look on her face.
"I had planned on hiring a clown to keep your child like mind entertained for the evening but then I realised that may constitute cruel and unusual punishment for the clown." She retorts with a smug look on her face.
"Ha-de-ha cobweb panties. If you would just go get laid I'm sure you wouldn't be so hostile."
Kathryn sniggers and nods her head in agreement.
Regina sees this out of the corner of her eye and turns her head to look at her friend. "Oh, you're on her side now?"
"I've always agreed with her on this, it would be good for you to have someone, even if it was just for a night. You've never really gotten over Mal."
"You know what they say," Zelena interrupts, "the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else."
Rolling her eyes as she stands to make her way to the kitchen, "never mind letting it breathe. If I'm going to be spending an evening with you two trying to pimp me out I cannot be sober."
The two women smile wickedly at each other and the redhead quietly giggles "Operation 'wet crotch' is go!"
The blonde grimaces and states sternly, "I did not agree to that name!"
"What name?" Regina enquires suspiciously as she steps back into the room with a very full glass and the remaining bottle of wine that she places on the coffee table before sitting back down.
Not wanting to let the cat out of the bag just yet, but also wanting to mess with the blonde a bit, Zelena answers, "Kathryn said I could name her vagina because no one has ever named it for her."
Kathryn doesn't want to allow this hideous conversation to continue but she can't think of any other way to turn it around so she gives a tight lipped smile and a nod.
"Why on Earth would you name your vagina, let alone allow someone else to do it?" The brunette asks, half bemused, half curious.
"I read in a magazine that it can help females bond. The redhead realises it's a ridiculous lie that no one in their right mind would believe so she quickly adds, as a way of distraction, "I've already named yours Priscilla."
"Priscilla?" Regina questions, now thoroughly confused.
"Yeah, Priscilla Queen of the desert, because of it's long dry spell." Both of the guests laugh hysterically at this, the booze having thoroughly gotten into their systems at this point. Regina gulps the rest of her wine before refilling her glass and retorts dryly, "I guess yours would be called 24/7, always open for business." Kathryn chuckles even harder and Regina laughs deeply.
Zelena goes silent for a second as her face settles into a neutral expression before joining in with the other women's laughter.
"So what did you name Kathryn's?" The alcohol must be working it's way into her system as she freely joins in with this ludicrous conversation.
"Urm" Zelena stumbles.
"Gilette, the best a man can get." The blonde speedily jumps in. She really didn't want to give Zelena a chance to answer for her, knowing that she would come up with would be a thousand times worse. "A bit crass but true," the blonde smugly adds.
When the laughter dies down, Zelena decides to casually mention she has three tickets to a show in Boston next weekend and that they should all go.
"Why do you have three tickets to a show in Boston of all places?" Confusion was evident on the brunettes face. "Besides it's almost a six hour drive away."
"Well, funny story. There was this guy..."
"Stop right there, I don't want or need to know any of the sordid details of how you procured the tickets. But anyway..."
"You asked." Zelena interrupted.
"Anyway." Regina continued with a pointed stare at her sister. "I'm not driving that far to see a show."
"It's a new one about lesbians and it has rave reviews. It's right up your alley." She tries to convince her sister.
"I don't care if it's about dancing daffodils, I'm not going that far for a show."
"Actually, I was thinking we could make a weekend of it, the three of us. We haven't been away together in forever." Zelena whines.
"I think it's a great idea." Kathryn adds with a smile, having helped Zelena come up with this plan.
"I can't just up and leave for a weekend, especially on such short notice. I have Henry to think of."
"Nonsense, it's in plenty of time. You know mother will look after Henry and nothing ever happens in the town. I'm pretty sure it will still be standing upon our return."
"Come on Regina, a girls weekend! We can let our hair down and escape this place and all our responsibilities." Kathryn says with hope in her eyes.
The Mayor glances at her watch before speaking. "I have spent just over an hour with you two and I'm already at my wits end."
"Bullshit. Your life would be ever more boring without us. The show promises to be an amazing night and besides, you owe me for when I kept you company at that snooze fest award thingymajiggy of Mals."
"What? We never agreed that I'd owe you for that. Besides, as soon as I mentioned there would be free alcohol you practically skipped for the rest of the day."
"You think I did that out of the goodness of my heart? Puh-lease, you knew I'd come to collect. Knock knock, that's me at your door wanting payment."
"Eurgh, fine! But only for one night and you'd better not book us into a hovel." She's not quite sure why she has agreed but she knows they are right that it's time to forget about Mal. She doesn't have feelings for her anymore but because of the way it ended it has been holding her back from even thinking about getting involved with anyone. She's not too stubborn to admit to herself that she has become stuck in a bit of a rut. Her day to day life is regimented and she never strays too far from her routine. A night way might be a good change of pace.
"Cross my heart and hope to die." She smiles sweetly whilst crossing her heart.
"Woohoo." Kathryn shouts excitedly. "So that's settled, next weekend it is."
After many more drinks, some food and a bit planning for the following weekend they decide to call it a night. Once the cab had collected the guests, Regina tidies up before heading to bed.
In the taxi the two woman begin discussing how they are going to break it to Regina that the tickets for the 'show' are actually tickets for a speed dating event. They had agreed that it was going to be their last attempt at trying to fix her up. They were hoping they would have more luck outside of Storybrooke.
"Don't worry about it. Once we are there and we ply her with plenty of those fancy cocktails she likes we will just break it to her," Zelena slurs.
"Just break it to her?" I can't believe I let you talk me into this. She is going to kill us."
"Not if we get her drunk first." She tries to wink but in her drunken it state it ends up more of an exaggerated blink.
They both smile at each other. "Green light for operation 'wet crotch' is a go!" Zelena shouts, making the cab driver jump in his seat and swerve slightly.
Once her nightly routine is complete, Regina gets in her bed but is unable to sleep as her mind keeps bouncing between thoughts of Mal and going away the following weekend. Her mind finally settles on Mal, who she really hadn't thought much of in years, and everything that happened between them. From the years of on and off between them because of the blondes preference to partying to Her backing out of filing for adoption at the eleventh hour. That's when Regina knew it was time to let go of her for good. She would rather have no one to rely on than have someone she couldn't rely on.
They had met at University and Regina had fallen madly in love, enough to overlook their differences. Mal was several years her senior and that was part of the attraction to Regina. She was inexperienced, never having had a relationship before and Mal was quite worldly, someone she admired and looked up to. It didn't hurt that the sex was incredible too. But after graduation Regina's career began to take off, changing the dynamic of their relationship. She was no longer a dreamy eyed girl that was in awe of Mal but a strong woman who was getting fed up with Mal's partying lifestyle. It continued like that for a few years, both unwilling to let go until one day Regina arrived home early and caught Mal in bed with a woman from Mal's work. After that they broke up but over a year later, after a drunken night out where they bumped into each other, a year without any intimacy for Regina, they fell in bed together. That was followed by weeks of promises from Mal that she had grown up and would never hurt her again. Eventually Regina gave in and it went well for a while until Mal started falling into old habits. Regina gave her an ultimatum as she was ready to start a family but she needed to know Mal could get herself together. She promised she would and Regina got in touch with an agency. When the day of their first interview was due, Regina returned home from work early as planned to find Mal waiting for her with a suitcase next to her.
All of a sudden Regina became aware of a tear rolling down her cheek. She wasn't sad that she lost Mal, she was sad for all the wasted time on a relationship that should have ended way before it did. Even though she was over it she knew it was the reason she hadn't pursued a relationship since her, that and she really didn't fee like she had any time to waste on dating when she has Henry and the town to take care of. She wiped her tear away, shook her head and decided that the following weekend would be the start of a new chapter for her. Her sister and best friend were right, a night away would do her some good. She couldn't even remember the last time she had left Storybrooke. It was time for her to start living her life fully for once. Even if she didn't have time to waste on dating she was sure she could find time in her life to go out a bit more.