Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Escaflowne or any of the characters. I make zero coin off this story.
Please note, English is not my native language. I'm doing my best to work with what I know.
Thank you, Meghanna Starsong for reviewing my outline. Without her, I would not have had the input I needed to make sure this will be a well thought out piece of fiction.
Fate Without Honor, Act 1
"Only the dead have seen the end of war." - Plato
Chapter 1
Energist Central was still casting a heavy shadow across some of the smaller buildings of Downtown Palas when Hitomi Kanzaki passed it early in the morning. The research hospital was Asturia's pride and joy but she only glanced at the structure briefly before crossing the road to reach her usual destination, Caeli Physical Therapy.
Upon entering the bright, small lobby she nodded a quick 'good morning' to Mr. Mole in the records office near the front. A glint of artificial light reflected off his spectacles briefly when he returned the greeting only to busy himself with his files again shortly thereafter.
The old man always looked a bit eccentric but he was quiet and did his work well. Further down the hallway, her boss was already in his office too. Just three years ago, Allen Shezar had officially taken over his father's business running the rehabilitation clinic.
The crisp, blue button-down shirt and grey slacks with the brown leather shoes made him stand out a bit amongst his employees. A neat appearance had always been his focus, long before Leon Shezar had instructed him on the necessity of proper dress for individuals in leadership positions. He had been lucky to not be drafted. As a medical service provider, his position had deemed him exempt from the requirements.
After only a few short months, the Destiny War had been over. Almost a year had passed since the allies had successfully beaten Zaibach forces on their own turf, preventing the conflict from spreading into the more densely populated areas of Asturia and Egzardia. Casually strolling through the streets of Palas, one would never expect the bloody devastation that had raged across the fields in the north near the Zaibach border.
Their strict military regime had finally lost its patience and declared war to Asturia's way of life. Since the northern country kept its borders tightly shut, nobody initially knew what they were capable of. It wasn't until the allied military forces received the first intel about just what could possibly happen that the threat was suddenly taken very seriously.
Running a hand through his long, immaculate, blond hair Allen found two new referrals in his inbox before greeting Hitomi. As always, she was dressed neatly in a pair of khakis and dark blue polo shirt with the company logo on it. The young woman kept her straw colored hair short, but it suited her delicate features and brilliant, green eyes.
"Good morning, Hitomi. After you get settled and Yukari is in, come see me. I got new cases for both of you."
"Morning, Allen." Hitomi smiled warmly and nodded her head. "Will do."
Her best friend and colleague, Yukari, wasn't far behind, rushing into the locker room with fresh vigor instilled by the chilly morning air and, no doubt, an ample helping of coffee. The redhead deposited her belongings in the floor length locker while bidding Hitomi a sweet morning.
She tossed some of her hair behind one shoulder and her hazel eyes sparkled when retrieving something from her bag. "And it will be a very sweet morning! Look I got us cake at Meiden's." She smiled with a mischievous grin as she presented Hitomi with a small, pink box. "Mondays are so much better with sweets."
Ah yes, Meiden's. Asturia's most popular bakery. Their small shops were all across the country and known for offering an ample variety of sweet, delectable treats. Hitomi was quite partial to their wares herself, but it had been a while since she last indulged in any of them.
Hitomi grinned as she carefully took the box from Yukari and stored it in her own locker. "I like your thinking, but first Allen wants to speak with us. Seems like we got new patients. Better lock this up though. You know Mr. Mole is always a bit...liberal when it comes to other people's food."
Yukari's upper lip curled back in response. "Good idea. He can't be trusted around cake. Better not mention it near him either. He has a way of getting things from behind closed doors and compartments. I swear that old guy used to be a spy…or a yegg."
Both women giggled lightly before exiting the staff room to make their way to Allen's office. Allen wasn't much older than them, but he conveyed an elegant air of authority that made people respect his position. He swiveled in the office chair to face them and pointed at two files set neatly beside each other on his mahogany desk.
"Alright. I got two new cases." He said and watched Hitomi and Yukari scrutinize the files. One of the manila folders was fairly thin and untouched looking while the other seemed to nearly burst from the sheer amount of papers that were stuffed into it. "Who wants…"
"Dibs!" Yukari said before Allen could even finish his sentence and reached for the less intimidating choice. Clutching it in her hand, she grinned at Hitomi pleadingly. "Please? Let me have this one? Don't forget I brought you cake! Oh, I'm so glad I brought you cake." She said as she lightly danced from one foot to the other.
Hitomi rolled her eyes in mock annoyance as she reached for the thick packet of papers with both hands. "You're lucky we are best friends." After wiggling an eyebrow at Yukari, she nodded at Allen who had watched the short exchange with an amused chuckle. "Don't worry, I got this."
"I know you do," Allen confirmed with a satisfied smile. "Initial appointments have already been booked through the respective primary care providers for later today. Take some time to get familiar with your cases and build a therapy plan. You know the drill."
On the way to their shared office, they passed Rumh. The wolf man's large, dark form took up a fair amount of space in the brightly lit hallway as he moseyed past them. His lupine heritage tended to scare patients at first, but the gentle giant turned out to be anything but intimidating once you started talking to him.
Junin were somewhat of a rare sight in Palas, given that most beast people preferred the more open and less gentrified cities across Gaea. Rumh, however, was special. His threatening appearance was balanced by an extraordinarily calm and emphatic nature and a genuine desire to heal. Having been with the Shezar practice for as long as ten years, he was the most knowledgeable therapist on staff and always had valuable advice to share.
His dark eyes regarded Yukari and Hitomi with warm kindness as they passed him in single file. "Morning." He greeted them in his usual, raspy voice.
"Hey, Rumh! You look good today. Did you get groomed over the weekend?" Yukari greeted him brightly.
His snout revealed two bright rows of sharp teeth but the sound that left it was a quiet laugh of amusement. "Very funny, young lady." He now shook his head lightly, simultaneously waving a short greeting to Hitomi in passing.
After they plopped down in their chairs across from each other, Hitomi and Yukari began to study their new paperwork. While Yukari was already beginning to take some notes, Hitomi was left a bit baffled at the sight of the materials provided to her.
Yukari raised an eyebrow when her friend across the desk began to leaf through the thick file wildly. "What in the…why…how…" Hitomi muttered, beginning to sound a tad frustrated.
"What's up?" The redhead questioned, this being the first time she had seen her friend so at a loss. Normally, complicated looking cases didn't fluster her one bit.
Hitomi closed the file and passed it to her wordlessly, lips pursed in silent frustration.
Yukari took the paperwork and flipped it open. The first few lines were quite clear. "Patient underwent transfemoral amputation of the right leg six months ago following trauma caused by…" She read out loud under her breath until she saw the reason for Hitomi's distraught. The following lines were completely blacked out until some more information was visible further below.
"Patient is experiencing hip, joint, and back pain due to altered gait pattern likely caused by prosthetic fit. Suggest evaluation and reeducation of proper biomechanics to prevent contractures and pain management through manual therapy." She finished before the rest of the page continued to present an equally confidential pattern.
"Uhm…" Yukari mumbled unintelligently as she leafed through the rest of the file now too. Nothing else was legible because nearly every single line on every single page thereafter was blocked with solid, black boxes. The information left open was pretty much useless, being that it was mostly related to the surgeries themselves.
"What am I supposed to do?" Hitomi huffed. "They didn't even give me the person's age! Just a name. Why would they not give me their age?"
Yukari flipped back to the very first page. "Van Fanel. Hmm… sounds like a guy to me." She shrugged. "Vascular disease perhaps? Probably some old dude. Maybe a smoker."
Hitomi shook her head in thought and took the file out of her friend's hands again. "Doesn't make sense. Why would the papers look like that then?" She sighed. "I'm going to talk to Mr. Mole. Maybe this is just his weird way of messing with us…" Hitomi hoped as she made her way to the stuffy records office.
Holding a few pages up to the light, the old man scrutinized them closely. "Well, that information seems to be classified." He shrugged regretfully as he compiled the papers again and handed them back to Hitomi.
"What do you mean? They are only giving me the bare minimum of information. How am I supposed to work with this patient not even knowing about what caused the injury?" Hitomi asked with a wrinkle between her golden brows.
Mr. Mole shrugged apologetically. "I'm just the records guy and this is printed from a digital file, so even holding it up to the light won't show anything. You're going to have to make do with this. Just draft a treatment plan and patch this guy up as well as you can."
"You're good Hitomi, you'll figure out what to do," Yukari interjected. Curiosity had taken the better of the redhead so she had followed Hitomi down the hallway into the 'Molehill'. It's what Yukari liked to call the dark office because there were always piles of records on his desks and even the floors although, miraculously, the old man always knew where to locate any piece of information within minutes. It was his very own organized chaos.
Mr. Mole's efficiency was probably the only reason why Allen had kept him on the payroll after his father passed him the business. Being a strict follower of rules and lover of guidelines, Allen avoided going near Mr. Mole's office most of the time, afraid of suffering a panic attack in the face of such visual disorganization. Mr. Mole straightened the suit jacket that covered his plump form and pulled on the purple tie around his neck. He did try his best to look presentable around the office but clearly wasn't a big fan of the dress code Allen inflicted upon him.
When Hitomi and Yukari found their places in the office again, Hitomi was determined to do her best to create a comprehensive treatment plan with the sparse information. She retrieved some books from the small library in one of the other rooms and got to work on researching the particulars of her case. It had been a while since she had a patient with such a traumatic injury and she always made sure to be diligent in her work.
"I'm sure it will be fine, Tomi. Just set up the treatments and fix him." Yukari encouraged her.
Hitomi lowered her pen and wrinkled her brow again. "You know what I keep saying. Sometimes physical pain can't be lessened by just mechanical changes. You need to know the cause of the injury. Often there are underlying, mental issues that exacerbate physical pain."
Hitomi now went into explanation mode. "I like to know the history of an injury. Remember that girl with the busted knee a while ago? She was a soccer player and knowing about her motivations and why she was pushing herself so hard made me understand better what I needed to do additionally to showing her the exercises."
At this statement, her friend rolled her eyes a bit. "Yeah. Very relatable for you. I know you're right…that's why you're so good at what you do." She then smiled.
Hitomi only answered with a frown and decided to let her friend's remark go.
After some more quiet time spent reading, the redhead faced her with a sly grin. "How about that cake now? I bet it would make the thinking easier."
Hitomi smiled back brightly. "I like your idea."
They went to retrieve the precious goods and found some plates and forks in the staff lounge. After bringing the treats back to their office, Hitomi was about to fork up the first bite of delicious, spongy goodness when Allen appeared in the doorway. "Hitomi. Your patient is here."
"Oh! Be right there." She acknowledged and lowered the fork with a tiny bit of regret.
"I'm coming too." Her curiosity about Hitomi's mysterious patient caused even Yukari to willingly abandon the sweet treat. After following Hitomi out of the office, however, she swiftly turned on her heel and fumbled with her keychain. "Just in case. You know…" She explained to Hitomi's retreating form, looking back at the two pieces of cake longingly through the small window while locking the door.
Hitomi was already at the reception desk when Yukari turned around to follow. She rounded the corner with panache only to stop dead in her tracks and sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of her friend greeting her new patient. Yukari winced when she watched the most rugged looking guy she had laid eyes on in a while shake Hitomi's hand awkwardly.
He was a good head taller than her and almost as intimidating looking as Rumh. Tousled, jet black hair seamlessly transitioned into a scraggly, unkempt beard covering dark, tan looking skin. His eyes were a piercing shade of garnet red and nearly seemed to stare a hole into Hitomi's bright, friendly face with their intensity.
He wore a faded, red jacket with darker colored spots here and there. It looked as though the garment had been decorated with a number of patches that had been removed after a long time of wear. A black shirt was loosely tucked into grey sweatpants and a worn pair of black, unlaced combat boots which had definitely seen better days completed the outfit. Considering everything, it was hard to tell how old the guy even was. He could have been anywhere from 25 to 40.
When they were done shaking hands, he transferred a walking cane back into his right hand and clutched it tightly to his side. The thought of her friend being stuck with this gruff looking man made Yukari feel terrible. Maybe Rumh would trade Hitomi if she asked nicely? He seemed like a more appropriate choice for this guy.
"Mr. Fanel, what I have gathered from your paperwork is that you are beginning to have some secondary physical conditions. It sounds like you are favoring your left leg when you walk. That's not at all uncommon for people who wear prosthetics but ideally, you won't need this cane all the time anymore when we are done." Hitomi said, carrying his useless, thick file under one arm as they made their way into the large treatment room towards the back.
When she got no answer, she turned her head only to see that her patient had obediently followed along but kept his head bent and gaze fixed on the floor. No reaction from him whatsoever. Hitomi regarded his posture with curiosity for a moment before leading them into the big, open space. Maybe he had just not paid attention to what she was saying.
It was fairly quiet in there at the moment. The only one working was Rumh who was helping one of his older patients with an exercise for a rotator cuff injury. Hitomi found her treatment area and sat at the small desk next to it. The man followed her around but then stood awkwardly behind her.
"Please have a seat." Hitomi motioned to a second chair near hers.
Wordlessly, he complied and lowered himself, gaze still fixed on the floor.
"So, you are beginning to experience the effects of secondary physical conditions due to favoring your left leg," Hitomi repeated her previous statement.
This time, she at least got a slight nod from the man. His thick, black hair moved slightly at the motion but otherwise, not much happened. When he sat, the legs of his pants had moved up slightly and now exposed some of the shiny metal of his prosthetic.
"May I see it? I need to know what they gave you before we start the evaluation." Hitomi pointed at her patient's artificial leg.
Obediently, he deposited his cane on the treatment table behind himself and pulled the leg of his lose fitting sweatpants up as far as it would go.
Oh dear, Hitomi thought but didn't repeat the words out loud.
"I see they gave you an older model," Hitomi said as she inspected it with keen eyes. No wonder the pain. It wasn't a surprise that he was trying to compensate with the cane.
The thing looked new enough, but the technology behind it was older. At least a few years outdated. It looked similar to an actual leg and foot with toes and was made from an artificial material, silver like metal but lighter and more durable. It was also advanced enough to feature a knee and ankle joint which allowed for him to control most movements due to the connections with intact nerves and muscles in his upper thigh.
The lack of finesse, such as that of newer technology which did a better job at absorbing the shock of impact during walking and running, as well as some other structural shortcomings, were something that couldn't be changed. The thing allowed him to walk just fine, but it probably was a rough ride. His insurance likely was not the best.
He still hadn't said a single word since entering the facility, not even when Hitomi shook his hand and introduced herself. "Mr. Fanel?"
At the sound of his name, he finally lifted his head and looked at her. Hitomi was left speechless for a brief moment when she saw his eyes. The intense, red depths reflected a whole array of emotions in the split second she held his gaze. She saw loneliness, sadness, but most of all she saw anger. It made her so uncomfortable that she quickly turned her head to pretend and look through the thick file that would do nothing to help her at this moment.
Her mind was going a mile a minute. What was going on in this man's head? Why the anger? His eyes had caught her off guard. It was no use; she needed to get over it.
"Would you please take your shoes off? I'd like to see you walk without the cane. I think we can make some changes that will at least improve upon some of the symptoms. I'm going to try my best and help you." Hitomi said with a professional voice. "Take the jacket off too please, so I can see your posture better." She added when the man began to tug off his boots.
The short sleeved shirt revealed more of his tan skin. A whole array of dark ink lines covered parts of his upper arms in the back but Hitomi was focused too much on his uneven steps to think about what his tattoos were. He walked away from her slowly until she asked him to turn and walk straight back towards her.
By now, Yukari had come into the room and set up with her new patient further down. The thin manila folder had turned out to be a middle aged woman with an achilles tear. Allen joined them shortly after with his own patient, an elderly man with back pain. Even being the owner of the rehabilitation center, Allen still took the time to work alongside his employees and they all respected him for it.
Two more therapists came in with younger clients while the black haired man walked up and down the area again and slowly, the place was becoming busier. Just when he passed the treatment table again, Rumh's patient dropped one of the dumbbells she had been doing exercises with. The metal made a loud, clanking sound on the beige linoleum floor.
Hitomi gasped in surprise at her patient's reaction to the loud noise. He stopped abruptly, floundered a bit clumsily with his arms and almost knocked over the table as he stumbled backward into it. An expression of momentary disorientation and panic was evident in his wildly moving eyes with dark, dilated pupils.
He was clutching the side of the table with one hand to keep it from toppling over completely while simultaneously trying to flatten himself against the wall behind his shoulder. Eleven pairs of eyes now regarded him with curiosity.
"Mr. Fanel!" Hitomi immediately rushed to his side and straightened the table while stepping around it. His eyes were still alert and a crimson tint was beginning to spread around the corners of his wild beard. "Are you alright, Mr. Fanel?" Hitomi asked calmly and placed a light hand on his shoulder.
The incoming touch of her small hand made him recoil and lower his head again as if avoiding the gesture. Concern about the anger she had seen in his eyes before gone, Hitomi suddenly felt very bad for him. Her hand hovered in the space between them for a second before she lowered it.
It seemed like he was ashamed of his reaction. "It's alright. That made me jump a bit too." Hitomi immediately tried to make him feel better. Granted, his reaction had been exaggerated, but maybe it had caught him off guard.
His shoulders moved under what seemed like a few deep breaths before he turned and mumbled a 'sorry' into the silence of the room. This seemed to be the cue to make everybody go back to work. Ruhm allowed himself another moment to regard the man before turning his attention back to his own patient.
"Alright. Now, let me make some corrections with your posture. It will help you with distributing your weight better when in a stationary position and walking or running." Hitomi instructed.
"The most important thing when standing without your cane is to shift your hips more to the right." Hitomi reached for the area just above his hips. "May I?" She asked quickly before finding the top edge of his hip bones on both sides. His whole body grew rigid under her touch when she gently nudged one side to show him.
The following few minutes didn't render less of a stiff reaction from him as she went through her explanations in the calmest manner she could muster. Underneath his gruff exterior, she felt some inner turmoil and it made her more determined to do her best.
When their time was up, he still hadn't spoken another word except for the quiet apology earlier and was content enough to answer Hitomi's questions with slow nods or shakes of his head.
"I received your file but couldn't get much out of it." Hitomi addressed him again. "It would be easier for me to help if I at least knew your age. The assessment will be more accurate and I can think about different options for long term pain management." She explained to him.
He ran a hand through his black bangs briefly only to have them fall back into place again. He sighed and mumbled "26".
One of Hitomi's eyebrows rose in surprise. She had figured he was on the lower end of her original estimate when she watched him move around and was able to scrutinize his face more closely, but for him to be just a few months younger than her was surprising, to say the least. His eyes made him appear so much older. As if he had seen things that aged him more rapidly than others.
Before they left the treatment room, she wrote out an appointment card and he confirmed with a nod that the time and day were good. Hitomi let out a big sigh when the glass door closed behind him. She was about to turn away, but was intrigued by what she witnessed now.
A slender neko lady in a yellow dress with bright pink hair and orange fur ran up to the man and grabbed his left arm. Even from behind the glass, Hitomi could see his whole body go rigid in response when the feline clutched his limb tightly against herself. She walked with him patiently and they disappeared between the rows of cars in the lot across the street.
It was mid day now and finally, the sun was high enough in the sky to pass over Energist Central. A beautiful summer day. Too bad she had to be inside.
When Hitomi walked back down the hall, Yukari caught up with her. "I'm done too. Let's go get that cake! I am so looking forward to that cake…" She exclaimed but when they arrived at the office, her face fell.
Door wide open, the thick medical tomes still covered their desks but no cake to be seen. "You have got to be kidding," Hitomi exclaimed.
Yukari made no move to hide her sour face. "The audacity of this man." Yukari hissed.
"Shhh…Yukari. We can't prove anything." Hitomi tried to calm her.
Yukari rubbed her temples. How was it that her friend had such an inhuman amount of self control when it came to these 'incidents'? She decided to let it go. "Fine. I guess I'll have to get by with just the salad I brought for lunch then. It's going to be the Mole's fault if I wither away before the day is over."
Hitomi grinned a bit at her friend's dramatic reaction while they made their way to the break room. Rumh was already there, slurping a steaming bowl of delicious smelling stew and smiling contently.
"So," Yukari said when she distributed the pre-packaged dressing across the sad looking bowl of spring mix with a displeased frown. "Your patient sure was intense. He kind of looked homeless and the way he reacted when the dumbbell…"
"Yukari!" Hitomi lowered the sandwich she was about to bite into, interrupting her a bit more harshly than necessary. "That's such a rude thing to say."
"Sorry." Yukari pursed her lips. "But… something isn't right with him. It's almost like he is scared to be here. What do you think, Rumh? Wasn't that the weirdest behavior?"
Rumh slowly rested his spoon against the edge of the bowl and wiped his mouth with a napkin before answering. "Not weird at all, no. Not for somebody who has been to war."
Hitomi lowered her sandwich again, still not having had the chance to take a bite.
Yukari began to fidget with the empty packet of dressing in her hand guiltily. "What?"
Rumh's eyes darkened as if suddenly shaded with a flood of sad memories. "That man. He is a soldier."
"How do you know?" Hitomi asked curiously, the sandwich completely forgotten now.
The wolf man's muzzle twitched a bit before he answered. "I too was a soldier when I was young and can see myself in him."
"But…the war is over!" Yukari offered a tad too cheerfully in hopes of lightening the conversation.
"The war has not ended for everybody." He stated in a calm manner. "For some, it continues here," he pointed at the side of his head "and here," now resting the palm of his hand over his heart.
Hitomi regarded the wolf man closely before asking. "You have been to war? Where?" She wanted to make sure that her questions wouldn't bother him. "Don't feel like you need to answer if you don't want to."
A low chuckle rumbled through Ruhm's wide chest. "It's quite alright little lady. Twenty years ago, in Asgard. The Battle of the Mystic Valley. I was a medic."
Yukari was moving leaves of salad around her plate during Ruhm's explanation while Hitomi listened intently.
"I have seen young men and women die, but I was also able to save many of them. This thought is what helped me overcome much of my fears and anger thereafter." He told them with a calm expression on his face.
Ruhm's tale shed a lot of light on the black haired man's behavior for Hitomi. "What can I do to make it easier for him?"
"You just be your patient self, Hitomi. Don't change a thing." Ruhm smiled lightly at her while getting to his feet and clearing away his bowl.
"Oh...okay," Hitomi said as she watched him leave. She now stared at the sandwich in front of her while absentmindedly chewing on her lower lip. Talking about war and death had taken her appetite.
With a sigh, she pushed the sandwich towards Yukari whose eyes went big. "I can have it?"
"Go ahead," Hitomi said and left the break room too when the redhead was already busy inhaling the sub. Hitomi had a lot to think about now.
Not much progress was made in the next few sessions with the black haired man; at least not when it came to communicating with him. Something told Hitomi that she needed to tread carefully. She made sure to keep her instructions brief and to the point which at least earned her affirmative nods and compliance from his side.
Van was going through the motions, keeping his head down and trying to be invisible to the best of his abilities. It wasn't like he never left the house but having this woman's attention solely focused on him for forty minutes twice a week was strange.
The nice thing about her, however, was that she had caught on to his preference for a strict no-talking policy fast. All she did was explain to him what to do and as long as he did as told, it seemed to please her.
The other nice thing about her was her voice. It was quiet and calm; so different than Merle's. It provided a small measure of comfort. That and some of the treatments seemed like they might actually improve his condition in the long run.
It was only due to Merle's constant pushing and prodding that he had agreed to seek help about the pain. He just couldn't stand her pitiful face any longer. He hated to be pitied. It only made everything worse and him angrier.
The loss of his leg wasn't what had scarred him the most. It was what had happened before and after the accident. Just thinking about it made his stomach twist with fresh guilt. He would never forgive himself for it. He should have been better.
The glass of the car door was still cool against the side of his head when Merle pulled into the clinic lot. She was unbuckling herself and about to rush around to help him but this time he was faster. It wasn't like he couldn't get out of the car himself.
Merle had been nothing but overbearing since the moment he stepped foot back into their house months ago. Clambering from his seat, he heaved a big sigh which was more due to her facial expression than the effort of moving.
"Oh drat, I was too slow, sorry Van!" She exclaimed regretfully before Van pushed the car door shut.
Van raised his eyebrow at her before grumbling. "I'm not an inval…" Before shutting his mouth at the sight of her blue eyes watering instantly. "Sorry. Bad choice of words." He sighed. Pity was all over her face again now. He hated seeing that more than anything.
He could deal with the pain but he was at a loss in the face of Merle's emotions. If she only knew what had happened. He still couldn't bring himself to tell her after all these months. Would she see him for the failure he was? Would she hate him for it? She'd find out sooner or later.
He let her take possession of his left arm as per usual. It was the only gesture of affection he could stomach so far and even that made him uneasy all over. She had tried to hug him many times, but the sheer thought of being on the receiving end of any kindness made his body tense as a bowstring.
They walked up to the entrance where she then left him like always. If she'd had it her way, she'd probably stay with him the whole time. It was a good thing the place didn't allow anyone but patients and staff in the treatment room.
The high pitched laughter of the redheaded woman had him on edge as soon as he opened the door. She was in one of the offices near the back but the sound of her voice carried all the way to the front and it grated on his nerves badly. The laughter grew louder and it almost felt like the sound was causing his hair to stand on end.
Thankfully, his therapist came around the corner with her and caused the woman to quiet down by placing a hand on her arm. Thank goodness.
He was still a bit agitated when they walked through the hallway and his ears twitched slightly when he heard the redhead greet her own patient who must have entered through the front door shortly after him.
His whole demeanor changed when they found their usual spot and he saw the wolf man close by. There was something about him that calmed Van. With a light nod, he sat in the chair and was surprised when the junin approached him today. His therapist had her back turned to him when the wolf man stopped at his side and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Van expected himself to tense up even more but there was something about the weight of the huge man's heavy paw that caused him to relax. Neither of them said anything as they briefly looked each other in the eyes but there was no need. Somehow, this gentle giant made him feel slightly better. He also knew not to linger. A heartbeat later, the man was gone from his side again and Van was grateful for it.
The interaction had calmed him enough to make him actually look the woman in the face when she asked him to follow her to one of the small rooms off to the side. Ah yes. Her name was Hitomi. The silver nameplate on her shirt said so. Funny how he had forgotten her name but easily remembered the color of her eyes from the first moment on.
The chamber was a bit cramped and only held a small treatment table but it was nice and dark.
"Mr. Fanel I'm going to use an electrical stimulation machine on you today. It helps with the pain." She explained as she fluffed a pillow on the table that took up most of the space. "I need for you to lay face down so I can reach the erector muscles on your lower back."
Hitomi took Van's cane from him and leaned it against the wall while he moved onto the table. The fabric of the white shirt stood in stark contrast with his dark skin, and it was now that she began to wonder where he was from. Maybe one of the southern countries?
As always, he tensed up a bit when she touched him and hiked his shirt a few inches up his lower back. Low light and shadows cast across the room accentuated his skin in an eerie way. The muscles on his back looked stronger than she had expected. Several black ink lines peeked out from under the hem of the shirt, just like on his arms.
Not wanting to stare, Hitomi retrieved the TENS unit from a small cabinet on the side. "I can use the patches and just stick them on your skin, but if you will let me use acupuncture needles to transfer the current, it would make the treatment more effective. Are you comfortable with that?" She asked and turned around to see him nod his head in agreement.
"Good." Hitomi smiled reassuringly in his direction. "I think you will get more benefit out of it." She said when she turned back to his side to prepare everything.
"It's going to sting a bit when I insert the needles so be ready for that." She warned him.
He didn't even flinch when she punctured his skin and positioned the needles. Her fingers rested on his back for a few moments as she twisted the thin pieces of metal into place. While attaching the electrodes, she explained to him what she was doing.
"I'm going to turn on the current which will cause a feeling similar to a swarm of ants crawling all over the area. It will stimulate your sensory nerves and ease the pain. Since you are favoring your left leg, there is an imbalance in the major muscles of your back too and that's what's causing your back to ache."
This once again earned her a nod so she activated the machine and pushed the controls close to his hand. She wrapped his fingers around it and showed him the buttons that allowed him to control the intensity. "I can't tell what setting is most comfortable for you. You have to adjust it yourself. This is going to take about thirty minutes. I'll be back when the time is over."
Van nodded again, a bit caught up in the brief feeling of her warm hand on his. It was weirdly different than what he was used to; probably because she was being so much more careful and wasn't asking any curious questions.
In general, he was glad that she wasn't ever asking him too many questions. It made the whole thing easier. Nobody needed to know and he could continue to carry the weight of guilt alone. Maybe this would continue to work out just fine.
His reaction to the dumbbell dropping on the floor last week had been especially frustrating. He needed to work on his self control. When the woman left, he found a setting on the device that felt comfortable and due to the dim light and the numbing feeling of the treatment, fell asleep within minutes.
It wasn't until he heard a gentle voice calling his name and felt a small hand on his shoulder that he woke some time later. When he opened his eyes, two kind, green orbs looked back at him. The woman was kneeling on the floor next to the table. Hitomi. That was her name.
"You fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you. There wasn't much else on the agenda anyway today, so I let you sleep for a few minutes after I removed the needles. Your girlfriend is already outside. Our session is over." She told him.
"Sister," Van muttered as he lifted his head from the pillow and himself into a sitting position.
"Hmm?" Hitomi asked curiously, a bit shocked that he was speaking to her.
"Merle is my sister." He explained, not entirely sure why her assumption bothered him.
"Oh. I thought… since she is a neko…" Hitomi shrugged apologetically.
Van grabbed his cane from the side. "She was adopted." He straightened out the situation.
"I see," Hitomi said. "I apologize. I didn't mean to…"
"It's alright." Van quickly stopped a pointless conversation from developing. What did it matter anyway? Why had he even said anything?
"He actually talked to me today," Hitomi told Yukari when she plopped down next to her friend in one of the plastic chairs of the break room.
"Your creepy patient?" Yukari asked between sips of soda.
"Don't always call him that." Hitomi scolded her.
"Okay, okay. My bad." Yukari apologized. "I'm just getting a weird vibe from him is all. So what did he tell you? Did he talk about the accident?"
"Well, no he didn't actually say that much," Hitomi said as she unwrapped her lunch. "He told me the neko with the pink hair who picks him up is his sister."
"Interesting," Yukari said after swallowing a bite of food. "That's all?"
"Well… yes. I think that's quite a lot for somebody who didn't say a word to me unless it was absolutely necessary the past few times." Hitomi shrugged.
"You should just ask him how he lost the leg. Maybe he'll tell you." Yukari suggested, brushing some of her red tresses behind one ear. "I sure am curious to find out."
"I don't want to. It just doesn't feel right." Hitomi shook her head slowly. "I'd like to know too, just to make sure I'm doing what I can to understand and help, but only if I feel like he is okay with it. Pushing people isn't good unless they don't mind sharing."
"Ya. Okay, I see where this is going. Pushing and trying too hard only leads to frustration and subsequent disappointment." Yukari rolled her eyes.
"Yukari. Don't. Please." Hitomi stared at her food.
"I'm sorry Tomi but it's been, what, five years? You need to move on." Her friend insisted.
"One." Hitomi corrected her quickly and narrowed her eyes.
"Like that makes a difference! A lot of time has passed." Yukari gesticulated widely with one hand to emphasize the absurdity of Hitomi's statement. "I'm sorry, Hitomi. I didn't want it to come out so mean. I only want for you to be happy again."
"I am happy," Hitomi said quietly before finally taking a bite of her food, effectively ending the discussion.
When she got back to her apartment that evening, she made sure to take some extra time in preparing her dinner. A neat place setting for one was laid out on the small counter bar and the TV kept her company.
"I'm perfectly happy," Hitomi said out loud to herself as she placed the steaming bowl of noodles on the place setting while attempting to will certain thoughts away. She directed her attention to the TV to distract herself.
The news anchor straightened his papers now and faced her as if returning her stare before starting a new segment. "His Majesty, the King of Asturia signed a decree today which officially declares the third day of the blue month a remembrance day in honor of war hero Balgus 'The Berserker Samurai' Ganesha. The allied countries will forever remain grateful for his ultimate sacrifice and actions which enabled us to bring the war with Zaibach to a swift end. Without him, the Destiny War would not have come to a conclusion so soon."
A picture of the man in question now filled the screen. Dressed in the maroon uniform and beret of Asturia's royal elite forces, the man with the thick mustache and grey hair impersonated a firm picture of military strength. Hitomi regarded his image until it disappeared again and the news anchor continued to talk about other aspects of the war for a few more minutes.
Hitomi, however, didn't pay attention anymore. Her thoughts had already wandered further north to one of the villages past the suburbs of Palas where her parents and brother lived. The day the war ended, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had offered her family a place to stay in the city, further out of the range of Zaibach artillery, but her father had been stubborn about it.
He had refused to move the family into her small apartment and abandon their house, trusting that the military would take care of everything before the battles spilled too far across the borders. In the end, it had been a relief that his trust was well founded.
This war had the potential of being much more devastating, but through good strategic decisions on the allies' part, the worst had been avoided. The battles that did get fought were located mainly on Zaibach and Egzardian soil, not that it had made them any less tragic. Hitomi wondered for a moment if perhaps her mysterious patient was a survivor of one of these battles.
It wasn't the first time they had had a veteran in their clinic but usually, their files contained detailed information about their injuries and accidents so the therapists could make sure to adjust their treatments accordingly. There was no point in speculation, Hitomi decided. She had to make do with what she knew like Mr. Mole said.
After she finished her dinner, Yukari's comments suddenly were back on her mind and it soured her mood again instantly. "I am happy," Hitomi told herself multiple times over the course of the next few days, trying to keep the tears at bay, but somehow the affirmation didn't take. Not even when Yukari brought more cake from Meiden's again one morning and they made sure to hide it extra good until there was a chance to take a break and eat it.
People at work were polite enough to ignore the change in her behavior again. It wasn't the first time that she had fallen back into the dark hole and it was better not to try and lift that scab any further.
When his therapist dropped her pen for the third time in ten minutes, Van observed her curiously from under his wild bangs. Her behavior was lacking the usual, calm professionalism he had become used to. When she picked it up, he glanced at her eyes in passing. Why on Gaea was she looking so horrible?
He continued to repeat the exercises she had instructed him to do in his supine position on the table while watching her out of the corner of his eyes. She looked a bit paler than usual and thanks to his experience with living alongside another woman, he now realized why her eyes were so red. She had clearly been crying.
What in the world could have upset this calm woman enough to make her lose her composure? She must have felt his eyes on her because now she was pretending to jot down something on her clipboard with the cartridge of her ink pen retracted.
Perhaps in a different life, in a different situation, he would have asked what was going on. But this was now and he was too bitter to care. Besides, he hated it when people asked questions and demanded answers. It's why he stopped seeing the psychologist after only three sessions.
The guy just wouldn't stop forcing him to talk. It had been so bad that Van had ended up becoming even more of an emotional recluse over a very short period of time. People didn't know how to deal with his anger because they didn't understand, couldn't comprehend what he had gone through, so he had to deal with it himself.
When Merle picked him up later, she was in her bright yellow uniform again. The slightly shifty diner she worked in made all their waitresses wear it. He hadn't been thrilled to have his sister accepting a job there in the first place. It wasn't even necessary. However, she kept insisting that the extra income would ensure them a more comfortable life until she finished her education.
This part of her life, he thoroughly approved of. She was arguably overbearing when it came to him, to the point where it frustrated him in addition to his current mental state, but she would make a good pediatric nurse one day. She loved kids and kids loved her. Now if only she would stop being so pushy about his recovery. The only reason why he let her fuss over him was that it seemed to make her feel better.
Their house had immediately been paid off with the large sum of money they had received and they would be able to live off the rest of it for quite a while yet. At least this was something he didn't have to worry about.
Later that day, the phone rang and when Merle told him who was waiting to speak to him on the other end, a new wave of panic and guilt washed over him.
"I…don't feel good enough to leave the house today." He lied through his unkempt beard with arms crossed in front of his chest, keeping his eyes hidden behind the thick curtain of black bangs.
Merle looked at him with a mixture of concern and distrust. "Van… she has been asking to see you since she woke up. I don't understand why you won't go visit. We need to!" She spoke quietly, covering the bottom end of the handset.
There it was again. The pushing and prodding he hated so much. Merle brushed some pink hair behind one of her furry ears before lifting the handset again. "I'm sorry he isn't well today….yes… I will let him know. I apologize." She pushed the receiver into the cradle with a click and before she had a chance to address Van again, he was already gone.
After marching the few steps down the hall to his room she stopped and knocked on the door without attempting to open it. It was locked and she knew it. "Van! Dr. Yurizen said she doesn't have much time left! He says she will die soon!" She yelled though the door.
Van covered his ears with both hands and clenched his eyes shut at the sound of her insistent pleas. He waited until it sounded like she was gone and finally breathed a sigh of relief. His gaze brushed one of the pictures on the bookcase nearby and before his eyes had a chance to scan it too closely again, he snatched it up and flipped it face down.
The next few days were spent avoiding Merle as much as possible. It wasn't hard since she was working the mid-day shift. On the third day, of course, he couldn't evade her any longer. It was time for his next appointment. He was sort of relieved to leave the house this time.
Even working with his therapist, Hitomi, was more bearable than spending all day brooding right now. At least, she continued to be patient and didn't ask questions. This was what made her superior above all. Hopefully, he thought, she would be back to her normal self today. The dispiriting look on her face was becoming difficult to ignore and didn't resemble at all what she had been like when he met her the first day.
Van's face was a grimace of discomfort after Hitomi gently took the cane from him and asked to see him walk. Her green eyes were slightly puffy, he saw, when she scrutinized his posture. She had been crying again, obviously. So much for that issue.
Hitomi felt bad for him. He was hunched over slightly at the hip and seemed to be in the worst shape she had seen him to date. "Did you have a chance to get out much lately? It seems like you've been sitting a lot. Your hip flexors are beginning to knot up badly which is causing the pain. We call it contractures."
She had opened with a question but ended with an explanation, not really expecting an answer. Good. Van nodded his head, his garnet eyes conveying a small measure of frustration.
"Come with me. I can dry needle the area to restore some of the flexibility to those muscles. It will reduce your discomfort but you have to keep moving on your own. Every day, ideally." She told him as they walked to the small room off to the side.
She made sure the room was lit better this time while Van positioned himself on the table, staring at the boring pattern of slightly yellowed, white ceiling tiles.
Hitomi retrieved a number of sterile packages containing several long, thin needles and donned a pair of white latex gloves. "I'm going to poke the trigger points in the iliopsoas muscles on either side of your hips." She pointed at the area near her own hip bones to show him the approximate location.
Following her explanation and looking at her hands point at the area around her petite, curvy hips gave him an odd thought. Had the circumstances of his life been different, he could have possibly been attracted to her. The old Van would have been. The Van pre-accident. The self-confident, slightly arrogant Van who had always lived life to the fullest.
What were another few needle pokes compared to everything he had been through?
If she hadn't been so professional all along, he would have been more uncomfortable when her small hands hiked up his shirt a bit in the front and grabbed the hem of his sweatpants to inch them down slightly.
She was focusing on finding whatever she was looking for in the soft tissue near his hip bones when he noticed how sad her eyes looked again. The two green orbs were covered in a layer of dull moisture, making them shine less than usually. She did have pretty eyes. Shame.
"Hitomi." He said. His mouth had temporarily disconnected itself from his thoughts and it made him want to kick himself. The long, thin needle was hovering between the two fingers she used to keep his skin taut, about to prick him.
Her eyes were wide and she looked at him in slight wonder. "Yes?"
"Nothing." He quickly corrected himself after an uncomfortable moment of silence and turned his head away slightly to indicate the end of this brief exchange.
Hitomi stared at him for another moment before pushing the pointy piece of metal deep into the soft tissue. He didn't notice the prick of the needle, but the contraction of the muscle deep inside his hip region made his entire side twitch. Not a sound left his mouth.
She repeated this a few times before moving to the other side, making sure to work quickly and efficiently. When they were done, he felt noticeably better to the point where walking through the treatment room was fairly pain free even without the cane.
Hitomi watched him walk back to their original spot in the large, bright room while an idea was beginning to take shape in her head. An idea that gave her fresh purpose. It managed to finally push away the depressing thoughts she had wallowed in for the past week or so.
When she wrote out the new appointment card and gave it to him, she hoped it was a good idea. "This is a bit unconventional, but would you mind meeting me here next time? It's not a formal appointment but I have an idea that might give you a different way to get exercise in."
Van looked at her a bit taken aback but took the card anyway. The location she had written on it was more than unconventional, but he was intrigued. He considered asking her for a moment why she cared enough to do this but then saw something behind her that made him want to leave immediately.
When he was out the door, Yukari quipped from behind Hitomi's shoulder. "I didn't know we had a location at the public pool. Or make appointments on weekends."
Hitomi simply looked at Yukari and said. "We don't."
"Allen will not …" Yukari began to say.
"…like this, I know. That's why I'm doing it out of regular work hours." Hitomi finished her sentence. "I just…he seems to be struggling and I really want to help."
Yukari crossed her arms and both eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline. "Shouldn't you be worrying about yourself instead? How are you supposed to be helping someone with mental baggage when you have been sporting two pieces of carry-on under your eyes for a solid week?"
"Wha... Yukari!" Hitomi scolded her friend who was now waving her hands in defense.
"I concede! Let me make it up to you by taking you to Meiden's after work." The redhead offered. "I want to see my best friend smile again!"
Tbc…