Disclaimer: Not mines, don't sue.
A/N: Even though it was touch-on in A Guide on How to Write Stand By Me Fanfiction, I figure it deserves its own parody fic because, let's face it, this section is crawling with these… things. I seek not to offend, just to amuse.
It is natural that once a book, TV show, video game, or movie starts to become popular, fanfiction will be written about it in a matter of minutes by the fandom. However, there are those who while writing these fanfictions, may want to add their own character(s) to the franchise settings. These characters tend to be called OC(s), which means Original Character(s), or OFC(s) which means Original Fan Character(s). Then there are characters which are called Mary Sue(s). If you wish to write a Stand By Me fanfic with a Mary Sue, follow these guidelines to make it the best character you can!
Step 1 – Choosing your premise
Now, now, readers, let's not be hasty. There is no point in creating your Mary Sue fic without choosing your premise for her first.
New Kid in Town – A favorite among many. The new kid is usually a girl who moves to Castle Rock because…
A) She is generally a city girl moving to a small town.
B) She is a girl who moves around a lot.
C) It's a girl's first move to another town.
D) It's a girl staying with some family in Castle Rock for the summer.
E) It's a girl being sent to live with some family in Castle Rock.
The Fifth Member of the Boys' Gang – There were no girls in the gang, so why not add one? How would adding a girl affect the group's dynamic? (Hint: it won't). The fifth member is usually….
A) The new kid in town (See above).
B) A childhood friend of the boys who was always in the gang.
C) A childhood friend who had moved away prior to the events of the movie and is now moving back.
D) An accidental member; runs into the gang and has no choice but to join them.
Relative of a Canon Character – Her family connections allows her easier access to the boys' gang in question, since all friends automatically like and trust each other's siblings. The relative will be….
A) Ace's sister.
B) Chris' and Eyeball's sister (Nope. No, not one of their sisters from the novella).
C) Vern's and Billy's sister.
D) Vern's and Billy's cousin (No, not the one with the hyboid gland).
E) Gordie's sister.
F) Gordie's cousin.
G) Chris' and Eyeball's cousin.
H) One of the other Cobras' sister.
Girl from the Real World – Just like it says, a girl from the real world gets transported into the world of Stand By Me.
A Girl from the View – She's from Castle View, the rich side of town, and hangs out with the boys, despite her friends and her better judgment.
Step 2 – Backstory
A character is nothing without their backstory as it gives them a background and ground work for their story. Mary Sue's backstory will either involve…
A) Super controlling parents that she really doesn't like.
B) Easy going parents that she feels don't care enough.
C) Neglectful parents who ignore her because a) they are too busy with their work lives or b) prefer her sibling(s) over her.
D) Struggling single Mother/Father who is single because their spouse a) died, b) got divorced, or c) walked out on them.
E) Alcoholic parent(s), who also maybe beats her.
F) Dead parents.
Note: There is no way your Mary Sue can come from a well, stable, and loving family. To be safe, try some combination of dead, abusive, or villainous.
Step 3 – Romance and Relationships
Come on, how many fics have you read that don't attempt it in some way or another? At the very least there will be a mention (And as we all know, Stand By Me was really a romantic drama; Stephen King and Rob Reiner just forgot that aspect) and in this section we give you a very brief overview of the most common romances and your Mary Sue's relationship with the boys depending on which one you ship your character with.
Chris/Mary Sue – The ultimate favorite (And if we're being honest, most Mary Sue fics with Chris are just the author lusting after 15 year old River Phoenix which, no, is not creepy or vaguely pedophilic in any way). She will be Chris' best friend (Moreso than Gordie!), or she will be a girl from the View who, like Chris, is also tired of the way people stereotype her because of her background, or she will be the New Girl who forms a special/unique friendship with Chris. But no matter which way you spin it, she will be the girl who will be the closest to Chris and, thanks to her, will save him from his inner torment he suffers from because of his last name, eventually bringing their kindred troubled souls closer together and falling in love.
Teddy/Mary Sue – The second favorite. She and Teddy will be opposite attract; She may even be repulse/annoyed by him at first, but eventually will grow to like him and eventually fall in love.
Gordie/Mary Sye – Not as popular as the above two, Gordie will be good friends with your Mary Sue (Though, not as good as with Chris). He may even suspect/know your Mary Sue has a crush on Chris, and will totally be cool with it and play the role of Best Friend and (Bland) Supportive Man: offering your heroine advice and giving her heart-to-heart talks about her feeling. It may even be possible that Gordie has a crush on your Mary Sue.
Vern/Mary Sue – The weakest of your Mary Sue's relationship with the boys; the two will get along well for the most part, but aren't that close. And that's okay, because why spend time and effort creating and developing a relationship with a supporting character, and there's no denying that Vern will be doom into being a supporting character in your Mary Sue fic… if he's even featured at all (And yes, there are fics that do that).
Step 4 – Different types of Mary Sues
Just like various plants, animals, and human beings, there are a variety of different character types you can do. They are…
A) New Girl Mary Sue – She's the new girl on the scene.
B) Best Friend Mary Sue – longtime best friend of one of the boys/all of the boys (who may or may not have gone on the Ray Brower trip with them).
C) Tomboy Mary Sue – The author will think she's being edgy and badass by having her character being a Not So Typical girl (Because God forbid the boys ever hang out with a "normal" girl). She will be treated like she's one of the guys, but may deep down, would like them to acknowledge that yes she is a girl. She will have a stupid - I mean creative nickname. Also, the author will have her acting in a way that she probably think makes her character look cool, but actually makes her annoying.
D) Rich Girl Mary Sue – She is a girl from Castle View.
E) Relative of One of the Canon Characters Mary Sue – See Step 1.
F) Beard Mary Sue – Mostly seen in Gordie/Chris Slash, this character will either be used as a Beard for one of the boys (Usually Chris), or date Gordie, making Chris jealous for reasons he doesn't understand, and being the catalyst into helping him discover his true feelings.
Step 5 – Choosing your Plot
We say choosing because technically no imagination is required at all. Below is a list compiled of a number of successful/favored plots that have proven themselves time and time again. (The majority work for all pairings.)
New Kid in Town – A girl moves to Castle Rock expecting to be bored out of her mind, only to discover that she will have the best time of her life.
The Ray Brower Trip – Retelling of the movie, but with a girl in the gang this time. Copy large chunks of the movie (word-by-word, scene-by-scene, dialogue-by-dialogue), gloss over a few scenes, expand on a few others, add some new pieces of dialogue, and voila!
Junior High/High School – Unfortunately, there are not enough ties in the actual canon to stop the author from aging up the characters, so lo and behold, welcome to Castle Rock Junior High/Castle Rock High School! There are dances and cliques and evil teachers and an army of OCs! These fics tend to be continuations of the movie, even showing the drifting apart of Teddy and Vern from the gang.
Transported into the Stand By Me Universe – Girl somehow gets transported into the world of Stand By Me and has adventures with the boys.
Step 6 – The Villain
Every story needs some kind of villain or antagonist. We all know Snow White and the Prince are going to get together in the end, but it would be boring without letting the Evil Queen throw in a few punches. Your villain can be…
A) Mr. Chambers – Though, rather indirectly. Mr. Chambers can be good for abusing Chris and/or working him to the bone, allowing your Mary Sue to comfort him and supply some angst.
B) Ace Merrill – Well, he is technically the villain of the movie. It can be through Ace that your Mary Sue meets the boys or, if your Mary Sue is in a relationship with Chris, Ace can attempt to rape her.
C) The Bitch – A character of your own creation; she is our heroine's competition: evil, beautiful and sexy. She will be blonde (Note, all blonde girls are evil bitches, brainless bimbos, or massive sluts. Yes, I'm talking to YOU! You're all uniform!) and will most likely be from Castle View. She will look down on your heroine and look down on her for hanging out with the boys (specifically Chris).
Step 7 – Incidents
When writing your story, it comes a time where you finally reach the middle of your story. This is the part when the plot can slow down to a crawl because you either haven't planned your fic out all the way through, or you are slowly, slowly, building up to your climax. If this troubles you, throw in some incidents here and there. Depending on how you size them, these incidents can be generic events to fill out the story or sub-plots to give your readers something to look forward to. These incidents can be…
A) A Big Misunderstanding – Usually with whichever boy you pair up your Mary Sue with. Because both of these characters are absolutely perfect together, this must be a mistake for which neither is to blame, and would easily be solved if the two characters would just talk to each other.
B) Birthday Chapter – It's one of the character's B-Day. Time to go looking for some presents.
C) Christmas Chapter – Similar to B.
D) Foreshadowing – If you are planning a larger incident for later in the story, it may be wise to start dropping hints. Good ways to do this is by having characters engage in mysterious dislogue, or if you use descriptions, to mention a suspicious moment. If it involves your character's backstory, have a flashback showing bits and pieces of it before revealing the big picture.
E) The School Dance – There's a dance coming up, better start looking for a date.
F) The Prom – See E.
G) Love Triangle – Introduce another love interest. It can be a) Chris/Mary Sue/Gordie, b) Chris/Mary Sue/Teddy, or c) Chris/Mary Sue/OC. You could try a Love Square with Chris/Mary Sue/Teddy/Gordie, or even a Love Pentagon with Chris/Mary Sue/Teddy/Gordie/Vern, but let's be honest, we all know there's no way Vern is going to end up with the girl.
H) Another trip – Similar to the Ray Brower one, the cast go on another adventure.
I) Proposal – At some point, since this is true love, the boy of your choice should pop the question to the Mary Sue, and of course be accepted with tears of joy.
J) A New Character – A new character is added to the mix to liven things up and add more drama to the story.
K) The Wedding – a continuation of I.
L) Big Twist – This usually manifests as a major character revelation, such as a part of your Mary Sue's backstory suddenly coming to light. The revelation will change how the rest of the characters see your Mary Sue, at least in theory. Feel free to move past the shock and awe as soon as you grow bored of it.
M) Graduation – Senior year has ended and the characters graduate from high school.
N) The College Years – A continuation of M.
O) The First Time - After dancing around the idea, or it being a spur-of-the-moment type thing, the boy of your choice and Mary Sue make sweet, sweet love for the first time (Note: there is usually never any mention of them using protection, so it's by some miracle neither get an STD or have a Bun in the Oven).
Step 8 – Ties to Canon
At one point or another while writing your story, you must have furrowed your brow thinking, "This feels nothing like Stand By Me!" and you are correct. If this bothers you, be aware that there is an easy way to take care of it. So, how do you maintain your ties to the establish canon that you strayed sooooooo far away from that the only thing your fic and canon have in common is sharing the main characters' names and the town's name? Why, you mention it. Constantly. Making references to the movie is a cheap and easy way to tie your fic with the establish canon. Have the character reminisce about the Ray Brower trip, have the characters bring it up on occasion (Because it's not like their Ray Brower trip wasn't emotionally horrifying or almost got them killed at various points). Another way is to lift dialogue or jokes from the movie and place them into a new setting and context ("I don't shut up. I grow up and when I look at you, I throw up" appears to be a fan favorite). Afterwards, then immediately and abruptly switch back to your universe, to complete the illusion that your story meshes with the canon.
Thank you for reading and good luck on your future Mary Sue Stand By Me fics!