WOO! And finally, it's here. I told you I'd post 16 fics by my sixteenth birthday. Just in time... a day early. And this was probably a lot more trouble than it was worth. I procrastinated as usual... and then got terrible writer's block and kept switching ideas every five minutes...but oh well. I'm pretty satisfied with this end product. I possibly would have changed a couple of things rereading it a couple more times, but I don't have time to do that.
I really want to thank Mar (Setarip) for helping me not have a mental breakdown over this and giving me some more ideas. I lerf you! I also dedicate this to my amazing little pirate sister/ newsie/ William III lover. I LOVE YOUU! And as always, this is dedicated to my bff since we were 3, Bethany.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates, and I don't own Enchanted's song So Close, sung by the amazing Jon McLaughlin.
So Close
He had thought it would never happen. If someone had asked him years ago, he would have replied that he could never have imagined that he'd be here now, holding her close in his arms. It seemed as though it was only yesterday when he first kissed her, her honey golden locks shining in the brilliant sun. He was amazed that the governor had approved a match between his upper class daughter and a blacksmith pirate. Maybe approved wasn't exactly the right word, but he had given his consent four months after that kiss when Will approached him to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. And now, here they were, at their engagement ball, announcing to the whole world (or maybe just Port Royal) the beauty and reality of their love.
Will was so ready to start his life with Elizabeth. It had always been his dream to win her heart (although, Elizabeth's love was hardly a prize; it was much more precious than that) and start a family together. From the moment he looked up at her hovering above him on a damp ship when they were twelve, he knew she was his angel, his soul mate. Although he did not have much, Will was prepared to do whatever it took to make Elizabeth happy. She insisted that she had no need for a fancy house or lots of money, that just Will was enough to complete her, but Will wanted to give her everything she desired. He had worked extra hard these past months in the smithy to earn enough money to buy a modest house overlooking the shore. Will had never seen Elizabeth's face brighter than it was the day he showed her their future home. Not even the sun could compete with her warm and bright complexion, her dainty curls framing her beautiful face. It was a memory that he would not soon forget.
Smiling down at his beloved, Will tightened his grip on her waist, a reminder that he was there for good. Elizabeth beamed as the two swirled around the ballroom, perfectly in sync with each other, perfectly in step with the one, two, three of the waltz echoing off the walls. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were upon the couple in the middle of the gleaming floor, some scrutinizing the impropriety of the relationship, some jealously throwing daggers at the young, poor man holding the pearl of Port Royal close in his arms, some holding back tears at the genuine and raw beauty of true love. But to Will and Elizabeth, the room was completely empty. Around and around they went, oblivious to all but each other, staring intensely into each other's eyes, hearts beating as one, almost as if they were one form, one entity. Time stood still, watching from a distance, content to give the two lovers their moment together. It was true that Time would test them, but not yet. Not now. Tonight was their night to spend together in each other's arms, to celebrate, to love, to live. And so they danced.
You're in my arms
And all the world is gone
The music playing on
For only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive
He had never felt pain like this before. The prolonged ripping of his heart down the middle, slowly tearing each strand to frayed shreds, almost tortuously, like there was no mercy left in the world. Every beat of his once joyful heart sent a wave of hurt through his tired body and into his eyes, threatening to spill out a river over his dirty face. The sight of them was burned into his mind, scorching his brain, crumbling it to ashes incapable of thinking rationally. Love had never been so cruel to him. Not even when he was forbidden to love his soul mate. In fact, he would have rather it have stayed that way, with her marrying for money and him loving from a distance. It would have caused him so much less heartache.
She's moved on, echoed in his mind. She doesn't love me. She never did. Doubt mocked him, feeding him lies that he bartered for as truths for a high price: his trust. How would he ever trust her again, even if she didn't love Jack? Sighing, he glanced over at the one person who truly made him happy. Startled, he saw that tears were running down her cheeks. With every tear that leaked from her light brown eyes, a knife stabbed into his heart. Over and over again. The throbbing pain was more than he could bear. When would this torment end?
I have to make her happy, he decided. Anything for her, even if it costs me my love, even if it means surrendering. I have to make her happy. All he wanted in that moment was to go to her, embrace her, comfort her, but he couldn't. The only way to comfort her would be to get Jack back, an impossible task. But he would find a way. If she was happy, he would be happy too. Sometimes, he knew, you just had to give up your dreams to help the one you love.
All of a sudden, her light brown eyes connected with his. Once connected, however, he found that he could not break away from them. Her eyes had always been a window into her soul, the pools of brown never hiding anything from his view. Now, however, they were clouded, as if a mist of depression had settled in their depths. He could not even recognize the soul hidden in there. It was shattered and strewn about, broken and unwilling to be put back together. Will closed his eyes painfully. He could not bear to look anymore. With one final beat of his heart, it shattered inside his chest. Love could make one foolish, irrational at times. This was one of those times. Will balled his hand into a fist. As much as he loved Elizabeth, it was obvious that the emotion was no longer mutual. Yes, he would help her find Jack. It could serve to a purpose to him as well. With the Pearl, he could find the Dutchman and free his father. It would make both him and Elizabeth happy. Of course, he would never, ever stop loving Elizabeth. It could not be helped. Things like that leave a permanent scar. But he was not going to fight a losing battle. This was his white flag.
A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye
And never knew
So close was waiting
Waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I want is to hold you
So close
It was amazing. He had been wrong.
It wasn't that the situation never happened. He was wrong quite frequently. But it was the fact that he had been so sure that Elizabeth loved Jack. So much so that he had already resigned himself to the fact. His heart was still shattered, because only one person could mend it, but the pain had subsided a long time ago. And now, he actually had a chance again. But could he forgive her for what she did to him? Of course he would. He still loved her with all of his broken heart. But could he trust her? That was a question he could not answer himself. Will walked around the column of the ship to see her sitting solemnly on the stairs. He sighed and moved towards her. Hesitating, he spoke.
"You left Jack to the Kraken." It wasn't a question. It was just a statement. A confirmation of what he now knew was true. Elizabeth looked up.
"He's rescued now; it's done with," she replied immediately, almost indifferently. Will gazed at her for a moment before turning his head. With every second that passed by, the tiny light in his heart grew dimmer and dimmer. He wondered if this was a tear that couldn't be mended.
"Will, I had no choice," her voice came from behind his back as she stood, justifying her crime. It was not the actual deed that pained him so much now; it was the truth that she did not provide him, leaving him with doubt and fear. If only she had confided in him… he would have been able to work it out with her, hold her, and comfort her.
"You chose not to tell me," his voice rang with sadness.
"I couldn't. It wasn't your burden to bear."
"But I did bear it, didn't I?" he replied immediately, turning back towards the woman who once held his heart firmly in her hands. Now, it wasn't as secure. "I just didn't know what it was. I thought…" He faltered, not wanting to say what he had indeed thought at the time.
"You thought I loved him," she realized, gazing into his eyes. Hurt crossed her face momentarily before she sighed and turned away. Impulsively, he grabbed her shoulder. She wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't finished with this conversation. He had to know. He had to know what would happen from here. Backing her into a post, he used his arms as a barrier to keep her in place. This was the closest they had been to each other since the Kraken attack, faces inches apart, feeling each other's hot breaths on their cheeks.
"If you make your choices alone, how can I trust you?" He waited for a reply. Elizabeth's tan face broke from its strong mask as she said the two words Will was dreading.
"You can't." She pushed his arm aside and ran up the stairs, leaving Will to his uncertain thoughts.
It was a minor conflict with major consequences. She didn't love Jack. Her heart still belonged to Will. But they both had different plans and burdens to think about. They were so close. In that moment, waiting for a reply, Will wished that he could have leaned in and placed his lips against her soft ones, reclaiming them to his love. But he couldn't. An impasse was their current playing field. Neither could make room for the other. There was no way to win. It was like he could see the light at the end of the tunnel, almost touch it. But it was just out of arm's reach. He wanted so badly to resolve their conflict and regain their happy end like all of Elizabeth's childhood stories. But he had his father to think of. He had made a promise to him, and he intended not to break it. But what about Elizabeth? Was there a way to mend the hurt between them and help his father?
An impasse. An impasse he could not get out of.
So close to reaching
That famous happy end
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Now you're beside me
And look how far we've come
So far
We are
So close...
All was black. He had never felt so much darkness or so much pain. He vaguely felt water running down his face and hands caressing him, but his eyesight was so blurry he could not tell who it was. Voices, screams, and crashes filtered uninterpreted from his ears to his brain. A cry of pain came from above him.
"No. Stay with me. Stay with me." He recognized the voice. Elizabeth… he tried to say something back to his wife, but no words could form on his lips. His chest throbbed intensely as his heartbeat slowed. He knew his time was slowly ending. If only he had had more time to spend with her. If only he could tell her how much he loved her. If only…
Breath became more sporadic. Short gasps of air emitted from his open mouth. His brain became fuzzy and all hope was gone. He held onto life like a rope from a ship, not willing to be lost, not wanting to go without a fight. What would Elizabeth do without him? He knew that one day, she would be able to accept his death and move on, but it would take a while. The pain of thinking about Elizabeth suffering without him was even greater than the pain from his own sword protruding at an angle from his chest. I love you. I love you. I love you, he thought over and over again, trying with every fiber of his being to utter the words out loud, to be some comfort to her. But he couldn't. She laid on top of him, her piercing cries of pain echoing agonizingly in his ears.
He vaguely felt someone grab his hand and thrust it down before he lost all consciousness.
Elizabeth…
Oh, how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
He couldn't bear to leave. He couldn't do it. The place where his heart should have been ached with a pain unknown to most as his beloved walked towards him from the shoreline, unshed tears glistening in her honey brown eyes. It was heartbreak all over again, though these were the moments he should have been elated about. Although it was not going to be a perfect wedding night, and the sun loomed over them, taunting them with every millimeter it moved down towards the horizon, Will wanted to soak in each moment so he could remember it always. Elizabeth's hair blew softly in the wind as she finally reached where he was standing. He slowly wrapped his arms comfortingly around her, pulling her close to his chest. She lightly fingered his scar, which resembled a cursive E. It was only fitting that the woman who took his heart (in the figurative way, when it was willingly given) would leave a mark on him.
Sniffling, Elizabeth brought her head level to his and captured his lips in a kiss, all the passion and emotion that had been pent up from before spilling forth. Her heart felt as if it was going to explode from the mixture of sadness and joy inside. She was finally going to get the moments she had dreamed of since Will proposed to her. It seemed so long ago… that day on the beach. They had come a long ways since then, and all of it had led up to this point. She managed to form a small smile on her lips when she parted from his.
But ten years was a long time. They had been so close. Married on a pirate ship! Her father would have been appalled if he ever knew. But ten years…. She didn't know if she could last that long apart from her love. Tears collected in her eyes as she looked up as his weathered face. With all her might, she built a dam, hoping that they would not overflow and spill onto her cheeks. But, as was inevitable, one escaped and was quickly caught by Will's deft thumb.
"I love you," he murmured, stroking her cheek reverently. "Elizabeth," he started hesitantly. She gazed up at him, melting under the stare of his brown eyes. "I understand if you want to move on… ten years is a long time." Immediately, she put a finger up to his lips.
"Don't be ridiculous Will. I could never do that," she said, shaking her head slightly. "I love you." He pulled her in even closer and buried his face in her shoulder, savoring the feeling of her small frame against his.
The sun was fast approaching its zenith. Their time was running out. Will pulled out his sword, deeming it unnecessary, and thrust it in the sand. Elizabeth followed suit, her sword crossing his. Smiling, Will took her hand and led her to the clearing a couple of yards away where he had set up blankets, Elizabeth walking beside him, fingers interlocking perfectly with his.
Time stood still, obligated to give the two lover's their one day together. It was true that Time had tested them, and would continue to over the next decade, but for now, it stood reverently and unmoving to the side, giving them their day to love, to live, to cry, to cherish. And that's exactly what they did.
We're so close to reaching
That famous happy end
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming
Though we know we are
So close
So close, and still
So far...
Thank you so much for reading! It really means a lot to me! :D