Title: The Nature of Fixation

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: Anything, everything.

Season: 5

Disclaimer: SG-1, characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.

Notes: The 'funny' version of Infatuation that I promised to write. I admit it's a bit like the first chapter of Infatuation, but that's basically because the 'idea' is the same. Beware though, the 'rules' have changed. I've got a few things to say, but they'll be at the bottom of the chapter. Beware Spoilers for Season 8 in what I'm going to say.

"One day I'm gonna bring along a can of spray paint and make the view more colourful…" Jack muttered as his team traipsed through yet another forest of all too green trees, "I mean, there's just no point in sending postcards home with views like this…"

Sam hid a grin, staring at the floor, deciding not to enter whatever debate was about to begin.

"Any postcards you felt inclined to send would be classified, would they not, O'Neill?" Teal'c frowned.

"It's the thought that counts, T," the Colonel replied.

"And who exactly would you be sending postcards to, Jack?" Daniel questioned.

He shrugged, "I don't know. The President? I hear he likes to be kept up to date on things…"

Sam shook her head in mock dismay and overtook her CO, taking point as he began to write an imaginary postcard beginning, 'To Mr President'. She let him ramble, listening to Teal'c's occasionally confused comments and Daniel's interruptions due to many points of supposed illogic, until she slowed to a halt as the forest they had been walking through ended, leaving a clearing and a stone building before them.

Jack stopped beside her and stared, "…Well if it isn't another temple…" he then held up a hand and started ticking off seconds, grinning.

Sam frowned until Daniel launched into an enthusiastic lecture about how it wasn't just 'another temple' and started off ahead of them

"…And there ya go…" Jack nodded and started off after him.

"…Yes, Sir…" she exchanged a vaguely amused glance with Teal'c and followed him.

"Guys, come on!" Daniel called.

The Colonel sighed, "Why can't you get excited about sport or cars like normal people?" he joked.

"Next time I see a car, I'll be sure to exhort its virtues," Daniel didn't stop his incredibly fast pacing to the temple.

"He's got enough enthusiasm for a whole team of archaeologists," Sam mumbled, with a smile.

"…Indeed…" Teal'c agreed.

Actually, they were only a few minutes behind Daniel, but when they reached the temple he made out that they had been hours behind; he already had the digi-cam out and appeared to be photographing everything he possibly could.

"And just what is so wonderful about this temple, Daniel?" Jack finally dared to ask.

He stopped taking photos for a moment and offered a honest shrug, "I'm not sure yet," he admitted.

"…Anything we can kick any ass with?"

"…I'm not sure about that yet either…"

Jack exhaled, trying to be patient, "…Okay. You go…enthuse…I'll just sit here on this-" he stared as Daniel disappeared through a hole in the wall of the crumbling temple. He sighed again, hopping up onto a slab of rock, "Sit here on this…whatever it is…" he frowned.

Sam stood at one end of the innocent looking slab, "…I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sir…" she was staring down at a small group of what appeared to be dials and buttons, just above a glowing sapphire panel.

"Why not? Daniel gonna come back and have a mini-crisis?" Jack glanced down at her, shuffling along the rock to look at the strange controls with her.

"…I don't know…but I have no idea what these are for…" she accidentally twisted one of the dials as her sleeve caught on it, cursing under her breath.

"Such language from a lady."

"I believe that is unwise, O'Neill…" Teal'c warned him, seeing the Colonel reach across and fiddle with some of the dials himself.

"Mocking Carter? I kinda agree…"

Sam swore again as she saw the sapphire panel pulse, "Sir, don't touch-" she went to bat his hand out of the way, believing it to be quicker than 'requesting' that he did so, only to touch the panel herself, along with his hand, and receive a sudden shock that made her leap back, wide eyed.

Jack had fallen off the slab at the same moment and stared up at her from his position on the floor, "…What the hell was that?" he made a fist of his hand, uncurling it and reforming the fist several times to make sure his hand was still functioning.

"…I have no idea…" she was just as shocked as he was, literally.

"O'Neill? MajorCarter?" Teal'c glanced from one to the other, hoping for some form of intelligent response.

They continued to stare at each other in a bemused fashion…

"What's going on?" Daniel's voice came from the other side of the temple, having just walked back through the hole in the wall. He frowned, "…Jack, why are you on the floor?"

"…You tell me, Daniel, you tell me…" was the response.

They made their way back to the 'Gate very swiftly.

"You check out fine," Janet stated, frowning, "I have no idea what whatever you say hit you exactly did…but you have nice matching burns…"

"And that's it?" Jack stared.

"…That's it…" she didn't seem to understand what he wanted from her, "…What were you expecting, Colonel?"

"…To not just get away with a burn after being zapped and thrown to the floor…" he admitted.

"You were lucky this time. Be thankful," Janet chided, "Next time you might not be so lucky."

"…And don't we know it…"

"I expect to see you back here to have the bandages changed," the Doctor warned both of them. She was rewarded with two grimaces, "…That's an order," she added.

"Thanks, Janet," Sam managed to answer, without sarcasm, though it was an effort.

"I'll know you mean that when I see you actually here tomorrow," Janet nodded, half smile on her face as she made her way away from them and to her office.

Jack glanced across at Sam, "…So…we're okay?"

"…Apparently so…" she shrugged.

"…You got a buzzing in your head?"

"…Yeah…must be the beginning of a headache…"

"One hell of a headache," he corrected.

She smiled, "I'll see you later, Sir," she hopped down off the bed.

"Where're you going?" Jack frowned.

"…To write my report?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh…report…yeah…" he coughed, "…me too…"

Sam grinned, "I'm sure, Sir.

He admitted defeat and was found by her, in his office, an hour later, frowning at the computer screen on his desk, as if it could tell him what to write.

"…Sir…" Sam swayed slightly and had to hold onto the door to support herself, "…I think…I think…Janet missed something…" she managed to take another step and fell against the wall.

Jack looked up at her and suddenly felt a sharp stab of pain in his head, "Aw, crap," he winced, ignoring his own pain, and stood, trying to make his way across the room to her, to stop her falling, only to find himself stumbling in much the same fashion she had. His eyes widened as he lunged for her and only just managed to keep them both standing.

"…What's going on?" she seemed desperate for an answer, "What's happening to me?"

"What's happening to us," he corrected.

Sam emitted a low note of pain and rested her head against shoulder, "…Head hurts…" she mumbled.

"Mine too…" he answered.

"…Infirmary…" she muttered, eyes still shut. Sam sighed and looked up, opening her eyes, only to find his lips on hers, kissing her with an intensity she had never expected. And the second surprise was that she honestly didn't care and was thoroughly enjoying the experience. Next she thing knew, she was returning the unexpected passion and kissing him back. She halted only for a moment, to look up at him again and ask a question that she strangely didn't know why she was asking, "…What are we doing…?" she uttered, breathless.

"…I don't know…" was his honest reply. Jack paused, perhaps a flicker of concern playing on his features, "…Do you care…?"

"…No…"

"Do you want to stop…?"

"…No…" she frowned, "…I see…" she nodded, before wrapping her arms around him and kissing him again, even as he crushed her against him. She had no intention of stopping for a good while, when she heard a knock at the door, "…Get rid of them…" she whispered.

"Busy!" Jack shouted, swiftly returning his attention to her.

"Not like that!" she managed to comment when she had to take a gasp of air.

"Colonel, I have a request from the anthropology departmen-" the door opened, revealing General Hammond in the doorway. All he could do was stare at his two officers, one pinning the other against the wall, locked in a passionate embrace, "Colonel! Major!"

Sam reluctantly released her grip on her CO and looked across at the General, then back to Jack. She blushed and stared down at the floor, whispering, "…Why do I suddenly care very much…?"

Okay, just a couple of things to say. Firstly, I am fully aware of what's going on in Season 8 and the state of affairs regarding SJ 'ship. Secondly, yeah, I'm still writing SJ 'ship fics, even if they are 'in the past' I suppose. I'm doing this because I can't hate the show, or the 'ship, if only because I've got so many great memories of watching it with, and having so many funny conversations about it with my friends (yeah, if you're sneakily reading this, I love you guys to pieces). I may not 'like' what's happening, but I'm not going to rant and rave and say death to all who get in the way of SJ. If its happening, its happening, and no fighting or yelling about it is going to change that. I haven't 'given up' as it were, but if the only place to write and like SJ 'ship is in the past…then that's what I'm going to do. Thanks, I don't know if that made any sense as to what I'm trying to convey, but I felt the need to explain some things.

Angel Leviathan