That's What Guys Do

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. And the list was something I found on MySpace.
A/N: I know this is only the first part of the List. And this is something I found on MySpace and decided would be a wonderful one-shot. However, the list was so long that I can't make it a one-shot. So I'm going to divide it into sections. Enjoy!

I'm sorry I didn't clear this up! Alright. So this story DOES NOT follow a timeline. It jumps back and forth and might seem a little bit confusing.

Oh and a quick response to jhoselis brioso review. Yeah, she seems very bitchy. But she doesn't mean it, and most of the time, Hermione's just kidding with Draco.

Underlined sections indicate when the scene was happening.

Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

Hogwarts – Seventh Year

Pansy Parkinson was at it again. Honestly, Draco couldn't get away far enough from her. Sure, they were each other's first, but that was only because she was willing, and he wasn't about to deny a shag that freed him of his "problem"—until he realized she planned their marriage before he even spoke to her.

However, this time, she had gone too far; as far as to insinuate that he—Draco Malfoy—fancied the Gryffindor golden girl—Hermione Granger. Well, "fancy" might be a bit mild of a word. But, THAT was beside the point.

Pansy was still a pain in his arse (definitely no pun intended). It wasn't until after she finally realized that Draco wouldn't settle down until he was far beyond his shagging prime time and that she paved the way for many other oh-so-very-lucky girls to make way into his satin-sheeted bed, did she begin to devise another plan. Along the way of making sure Draco became Mr. Pansy Parkinson, she couldn't help but screw all the other poor virgin boys in their year whom clearly "loved" her.

Ha, as if! Draco had told every male in their house that Pansy finally opened her legs for him. It really didn't make him any more of a man, but it was fun watching everyone else's eyes glow in hope that they'd finally rid themselves of their so-called male virginity.

Then, the other girls of their house saw the "popularity" of Pansy with the opposite gender, began to offer themselves for "service." So that is why none of the Slytherin guys date Slytherin girls… Besides, all Slytherin females were alike—greedy.

"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" are two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

Three Years After Graduation

Hermione picked up her cell phone, "Hermione here."

"Hey, what are you doing?" Draco managed to say into the weird muggle device.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "What do you want, Draco?"

"Nothing, I'm just wanted to ask you when the party was." Draco mentally slapped himself.

She tried not to laugh at him, "Draco, you know when the party is! You're hosting it. Besides, I'm a little tied up at the moment. The next issue is about to be launched."

"Really? Well, I need to go. Have some important…um…stuff to do. Yeah, stuff." Draco couldn't believe he was stuttering over some girl.

Oh but she wasn't any girl. She was Hermione Granger, bookworm extraordinaire and the editor of England's number one fashion magazine. How in the world she got into fashion after graduating with the highest grades since Merlin-knows-who was beyond Draco.

"What did you want, Draco?" Hermione started to sound annoyed.

Her tone only irritated Draco further, "Nothing, I just called because I was bored, but clearly, you are so important you can't even bother being at least a tad nicer on this thing."

"The telephone?" Hermione suggested.

"Whatever! Teletone!" He practically yelled, "Alright, I have to go and leave you to your important business."

Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

Hogwarts – Sixth Year

She looked at him today. It wasn't the fact that she looked at him because quite frankly, everyone looked at him. She looked at him with her big caramel brown eyes and a soft smile gracing her luscious pink—holy fuck…

He was way in out of his head about this bird. He rolled around in his bed before continuing his thoughts.

I wonder what color underwear she wore today.

He sat up suddenly. Honestly, he needed to stop his bloody thoughts. Oh how he wished it were possible to obliviate oneself. His mind was constantly flooded with images of her, words she said today (whether to him or to someone else was regardless), her laughter, etc., etc. It was driving him bonkers, and he couldn't even get a decent night's sleep!

Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

Two Years After Graudation

The telephone rang, and Hermione jumped. She set down her book and reluctantly got up to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" she said, looking at the time. 23:43.

"Hey, are you busy?" Draco's voice came out the receiver.

"No, but it's bloody midnight!" she said painstakingly.

"Yes, but this is important."

"What is?"

"What are you wearing?" she could practically hear his grin.

"That's none of your business. Please, Draco, I have an early board meeting tomorrow."

"Oh, fine. But I know that you weren't sleeping just now."

"Great, you've got me all figured out. Now, I really need to get some rest."

"When will I see you?" he almost slapped himself…again.

Not only did he just sound terribly desperate, he couldn't even keep the desperate tone out of his voice.

Hermione had to smile, "Not until Sunday. I have a ton of work this week."

Draco pouted, not that she could see—

"Draco, don't pout, it ruins your visage."

Or maybe she could see…

"Alright, goodnight, Granger. Have fun at your little board meeting."

He hung up without her uttering a word.

She has all-seeing eyes in the back of her head, I swear it.

Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

Hogwarts – Seventh Year

"Today was a good day, Blaise, a good day." Draco flopped onto the black leather sofa.

"Why? Don't tell me it's because of Granger again." Blaise rolled his eyes.

"Of course not! I don't think about her all bloody day." Draco lied flippantly.

"Uh huh. Yes, and my favorite pet is Hagrid."

"Oh, shut up." Draco dismissed his comment, while thinking about Granger's slightly turned lips when he helped her carry her book bag to Transfiguration.

It wasn't a big smile like the ones she threw to Pothead and Weasel.

"So it was about Granger." Blaise held an amused face.

Oops, did he say that out loud?

"No, it wasn't," Draco honestly needed to stop lying.

"Funny, because I thought I heard you say something about Potter and Weasley."

"Selective hearing, a downright nasty syndrome nowadays."

"Yes, I'll agree. And probably selective seeing, too." Blaise got up and walked into the seventh year boys' dormitory.

Nobody understood. But Draco wasn't worried about them. As he went back to his musings, he didn't notice Blaise standing in the doorway, laughing silently at his best friend.

Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

Hogwarts – Sixth Year

Snape literally dragged Draco into his office.

"Sit down, you archetypal figure of insolence!" Snape liked to use big words when he was angry.

For only once or twice in his life did Draco actually fear Snape's wrath. And this one of those times.

"Do you have the slightest inkling as to how much DAMAGE you cost the school a mere twenty minutes ago?" Snape sat down abruptly and shook as he spoke.

"Damage? I wasn't aware I caused any damage at all," he said.

Big mistake. Snape's eyes grew wider and possibly, his face grew darker with every indifferent word Draco uttered.

"Draco Black Malfoy, you have just wrecked a thousand-year-old painting, blew up a cauldron worth more those white-blonde hair on your head, soiled the work of your fellow classmates, and you're telling me you haven't done any damage? Have you taken too many bludgers in the head or am I just hearing things?" He was livid.

"I have taken too many bludgers in the head." Draco was too afraid of him to say otherwise.

"I thought so. Now you will get your scrawny little posterior and report to Dumbledore's office for a meeting with your mum. I trust she will sort you out. And if she doesn't, you know where to go."

Draco gulped. Oh, he sure knew what "where" was referring to. And he prayed that Narcissa would punish him and tie him up in his room for eternity than to go "there."

And to think, all this just to get Hermione away from that snake Cormac McLaggen. And of course, to allow her to finally see him as a potential love interest.

But honestly, what was he thinking?

Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest, unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

Hogwarts – Seventh Year

Why does this always happen to me?

Draco often wondered that question. Every girl in seventh year always managed to ask him for advice when it comes to their own significant others. Draco couldn't care less. Besides the fact that his now-constant scowl seem to be in vain, he honestly could not understand why so many of them flock his doorway.

And not even the way I'd expect them to.

Although today was a nice change of person, Draco couldn't help but feel putdown.

"And then he walked away! Just like that. I'd thought he at least give me a kiss or something, but no, he just walked away." Hermione was talking animatedly, without a care as to whether or not Draco wanted to listen.

And listen he did not want. It ripped his chest out to know that Hermione wanted another guy. And to listen to her talk about it with him only made the impact stronger when he realized that she was comfortable enough around him to share her private thoughts. THOUGHTS that were about other people beside him.

Then again, he was only pretending to be interested so when that stupid McLaggen broke her heart, he could snatch them back up and glued them whole.

Draco sighed and resumed pretending to listen.

A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

Three and a Half Years After Graduation

"Draco, you had no right!" Hermione shrieked at him as soon as the door of her office closed.

"Of course I had a bloody right. You're my girlfriend after all!" he matched her fervor.

"Well, he was my friend before you became my boyfriend!"

"He should know better than the tramp around linking arms with you!"

"He doesn't need a restraining order. I'd be surprised if he doesn't sue you!"

"Sue me? He threw the first punch for Merlin's sake!"

"You provoked him! You made sure you got his wits end before you were allow to full-on fight!"

"I most certainly did not! Is it my fault the guy can't take jokes?"

"JOKES! Those weren't jokes! They were insults laced with sarcasm and a slight percentile of humor!"

"You thought it was funny!"

"I only laughed to save your arse!"

"Well, next time, I don't need my arse saved. And tell him to keep his hands off of you."

"I don't need to do that. You're going to go to St. Mungo's and apologize for being a git."

"If I do, I don't want him hanging around you anymore."

"You have no right!"

Oh, here we go again…

Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

Three and a Half Years After Graduation

"Hermione, do you love me?" Draco inquired while they lounged on the couch watching the telly.

"On most days, Draco, I do."

"Well, that says a fat lot….most days...sheesh."

"It's not my fault you're a bloody child sometimes."

Draco mumbled something inaudible under his breath and turned his attention to the TV show.

Four Years After Graduation

"Hermione, do you love me?" Draco asked again while they laid in bed, both awake and thinking about the previous day's events.

"On most days, I do, Draco."

"That's what you said last time I asked!"

"It's true!"

"Fine…"

Four and a Half Years After Graduation

"Hermione—" Draco started to ask.

"On most days, Draco, on most days."

Five Years After Graduation

"Hermione, I love you." Draco decided on a different approach.

"And I love you, Draco." She smiled as she cuddled against his warm body.

"Is this just one of those 'most' days, or…"

"No, Draco, I believe I'll love you always."

His heart nearly melted but he kept it in because he was a real man.

A/N: Hope that was good. Oh, and the last part. No, they do not just say "I love you" every half year. They're just the more significant ones. I'll update the next one soon, hopefully! Remember to review!