DISCLAIMER: The characters from "One Tree Hill," belong to Mark and Co. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.
PAIRING: Peyton
and Haley
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the
author.
Wanting What's Gone
When all you see is the coke line, as you take your next sniff. What really is the point? What was the great meaning of life? Shouldn't life be happy? Instead there's pain were happiness once was. Your mom died when you were eight. Why? Because she didn't want to be late picking you up. Then turns out you are adopted. You real mother found you. You were a bitch to her. Then by the time you want to talk to her and be around her, she's dies of breast cancer. You went out and did stupid things. But Haley was there to keep you from falling. You both fell in love with each other. She was so happy to find you so happy. But what was the point in loving her when now she gone. Left you alone to be an empty shell of who you once were. You sit by her grave at night hoping she never really left in the first place. But as you go home to lie in your bed and reach for her in your sleep, you know in your heart she's gone. So now you're back to all the old addictive habits you left behind. Sniffing coke, running red light, doing anything to be back with her. When you're sleeping with all those other people imaging her small hands running over you body, as you cum biting back her name in your throat, you wonder when it's all going to end for you. When will you finally get to be in peace? To see her laughing eyes, her smile. You see the razor in your hand and you kinda wonder when it got there. You stare at your wrist. You can hear your brain telling you one easy cut and it would all be gone. The pain, the loneliness. You think about it. Next thing you know your hand already trying to make the cut. But you stop and take a breath of air. At that moment you can clearly hear Haley telling you " Pey Pey I never want to see you hurt yourself again. Understand or I'm gonna be really mad. Okay." You promise her you wouldn't do it ever again. You saw the look in her eyes when she saw the cuts. You throw the razor across the room. You pull yourself off the bathroom floor. Head to your bed maybe just maybe you can make it though the night. Your life you'll try and get through it later.
Back then the feeling was there…
Back then the feeling was given…
Back then the feeling was received…
But now…
Back then you got what you needed…
Back then you got what you wanted…
Back then you got what was not deserved…
But now…
Right now you wish for the feeling…
Right now you longed for the feeling…
Right now you are in need of the feeling…
Because…
Right now you want to be loved…
Right now you want to be needed…
Right now you want a second chance…
Because…
You never know what you got until its gone…