Author's note: So, after watching tonight's episode...I had to do it. Poor Mark :( So I thought I'd give his POV a shot. It's kind of OOC...I know it doesn't capture a lot of real "man-whore" Mark, but I feel like...there is more to him. Don't worry, I'll bring the man-whore in as the story progresses. This is the history thus far before I take it in my own direction (and yeah, I'm keeping it Grey's despite the fact that the Addison spinoff pilot it within next week's Grey's...only inasmuchas MADDISON.) This was going to be a one-shot...but I want to keep them together, and I feel like there might be potential. Also, I'm thinking of doing another story exploring ADDISEX (leave a comment in review if interested). Anyway, this is Maddison, so no pairing hating.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I hope you like it...

Addison Forbes Montgomery always knew what she wanted. And she always got what she wanted, too...in all areas of her life from the bedroom to her career, she had everything that she wanted. When it came to Mark Sloan, she had him wrapped around her little finger, even though she refused to acknowledge it. He was a sucker, and he would do anything possible to get her to be with him, no matter what it took, which is why when Mark saw her leaving the supply closet with Alex Karev, and the sex hair that he, Mark Sloan, should have been giving her at the end of their sixty days, his heart shattered into a million pieces. Addison had been leading him on, and had truly made him believe that he stood a chance with her. But seeing her with Karev, and the glow that she had about her, the aura of sheer joy, Mark knew that he never stood a chance. Perhaps he had known it all along and had been merely avoiding acknowledging it, but in the moment it was perfectly clear to him that she no longer wanted him-- if she ever actually had wanted him, that is.

This is why Mark found himself at the Emerald City Bar that night, alone, drinking himself into oblivion. He was trying to forget Addison Forbes Montgomery-- everything about her. He didn't even want to remember the good times with her when they were just friends, before it all went to shit, because if he had told himself the truth, he would have known that he was in love with her all along. From the first time that Mark Sloan saw Addison Montgomery, he fell in love with her-- and he was not one of those wishy-washy types who believed in true love and all of that shit. All he knew was that this woman, this fiery, feisty red-head was different. She was the one. He could see himself settling down and raising children with this woman...doing the dad thing all the way, and barbecuing-- the whole deal. Everything that he had never thought that he wanted. Well, granted, that wasn't all just from looking at her, but after he had spent a few hours with her, he knew that he wanted to be with this woman for the rest of his life.

When Mark found out that Derek seeing Addison, his heart broke. Being the manly man-whore that he was, he couldn't admit to Derek that he wanted Addison to be more to him than just a one-night stand. Truthfully, he had even been reluctant to bring her home after the bar that night-- after having talked to her for hours, he knew that she was better than that-- but once the alcohol and the head between his legs started steering, he couldn't control himself...there was no denying that Addison was incredibly attractive, and she had probably never been turned down for. Honestly, most of the female population would have agreed to have sex with her if asked. She was that hot.

If Mark could pin-point the single worst moment in his life, it would have been when Derek told him that he was going out with "that red-head". Derek Shepherd said it so simply, so matter-of-factly, as if it were perfectly appropriate to just go after whomsoever Mark had happened to sleep with the previous night, without even bothering to ask Mark how he felt about it, of if he had any interest in continuing a relationship with her.

Granted, few relationships that are started by one-night stand amount to anything significant, but Shep stole whatever chance that Mark might have had right out from under his nose. As Mark watched the two lovebirds get more and more serious about each other, it felt as though a stake were being driven through his heart. When Derek announced their engagement, Mark's only defense was to behave as the jackass that he was. By maintaining his rough man-image, he was able to keep up appearances while deep down all he wanted to do was hit something.

It was completely unfair that the three would-be doctors became like the three musketeers. Mark was getting closer and closer to Addison, but she was always just out of reach. She was Derek's, and he got to do all the things with her that Mark could only ever dream of doing. Mark wanted to take care of her, make love to her, all of the romantic things that Derek was doing, that Derek had always done. Mark never felt like Derek's relationship with Addison was all that different from any of his relationships with other women-- he was always the hopeless romantic, but somewhere along the way he would get bored and pull away, whereas for Mark, this desire to be romantic and eventually settle down was all brand-new. It was special, but because of Derek Shepherd, Mark was not even being given a fair shot. He wasn't allowed to do all of the things that he longed so much to do.

Derek and Addison's wedding had been absolutely torturous for poor Mark, who had to suffer through being the best man at the ceremony and as such offer his best wishes to the happy couple during the reception. Fortunately for him, his tears were taken as tears of happiness and sincerity rather than the deep and all-encompassing sorrow that he felt, which he then attempted to drink away the best he could on champagne. All he really wanted was some hard liquor to drown his sorrows in.

While Derek and Addison were on their honeymoon, Mark practically lived in the local bar. He was bringing home a different girl every night, sometimes more than one girl a night, but no matter what he did, or who he did, he couldn't seem to get his mind off of his best friend's new wife, and it was killing him. He didn't want to let down his best friend like that, but he couldn't do anything about it. He was truly and deeply in love with his best friend's wife, and that was the end of that.

When Derek began burying himself in his work and ignoring Addison, it pissed Mark off more than he ever had been before in his life-- even more than he hated his father for abusing his mother. Addison did not deserve the way that Derek treated her-- not even a dog deserved to be neglected that way. Mark watched Addison wither as she struggled to keep up her appearance and failed, completely unbeknownst to her oblivious husband. Mark, being in love with Addison and still Derek's best friend, had been there to pick up the pieces. He soothed her when she cried herself to sleep, whether at the Shepherd home or via telephone, he made sure she made it home all right after a long night of drinking. He reminded her to eat on a daily basis, and held back her hair when she vomited. He held her when she cried. He promised her that Derek loved her and that he would come around.

After several years of despicable treatment, Addison couldn't take anymore. She would have done anything to be seen by her husband in any capacity. He had barely spoken to her in over half a year, and she was beginning to go completely insane. One night, she drank too much and came up with a plot to get Derek to notice her. She begged Mark to sleep with her relentlessly, sobbing and completely distraught. Mark tried to be the good friend and tell her that he couldn't do it, that it wasn't right, but she kept throwing herself at him. It broke Mark's heart to see his Addison so upset, and hurting so deeply. He couldn't say no to her when she was in this kind of state, and quite frankly would have done absolutely anything for her. So he slept with her. And they got caught...the one night that Derek finally decided to make an appearance in his own home.

After Derek left, Addison refused to speak to Mark or do anything, but Mark would not let her go. He loved her too much, and if he left her alone, he knew that she would self-destruct, and he was not willing to let that happen to the one woman that he had ever truly loved. Though she loathed him during those months, he took care of her, even when she fought him tooth and nail. Her husband never came back for her, so Mark supported her throughout that time without a promise of the future or the relationship that he longed for, or even a guarantee of sexual benefits. Even though he honestly thought that he might have a chance, getting into Addison's pants was (usually) the furthest thing from his mind. She let him believe that there was a possibility, and that was all that he needed.

When Addison left for Seattle, Mark was incapable of functioning. She hadn't told him that she was going, she had just up and left, leaving him a note. When finally he tracked her down, and found out that she had gone after his douchebag of an ex-best friend, he was panicked, not only because he thought he would "lose" her (even though she was never really "his"), but more importantly because he feared that Shep would do the same thing as before, only this time he had something to throw in her face whenever he needed to. Once again, Mark offered his services to pick up the pieces. Mostly sexual healing. He was selfish, and he knew it, but he needed Addison, in whatever capacity he could have her.

When Addison proposed the sixty-day deal, Mark thought that he was really going to get the opportunity that he had waited for for such a long time. He thought that she was actually serious about letting him in just as plain old Mark, not as a substitute Derek or a booty-call. He made the mistake of thinking that she actually wanted to work things out. Mark knew that he was no saint, and he had screwed up things between the two of them the last time that they gave it a go by cheating on Addison, but that was only because he needed to protect himself. He knew that she wasn't really in it, and if he screwed it up first, then he could keep his heart intact. It was the only way to keep himself safe, and after so much pain, he knew it was the only way that he could survive.

It felt like deja vu all over again when he saw Addison and Alex leave the on-call room after their little escapade. Addison's rumpled clothing and sex hair had been what really gave them away, not to mention that they both exited at approximately the same time. Mark's heart was really shattered, and there was nothing that he could do to fix it. The only thing that he could do was save face, so that was exactly what he did.

Not wanting to be a liar, and still having it in for Shepherd for hurting Addie the way that he did (not to mention that she was his only real "friend", and the most inexcusable person he could fornicate with), Mark asked Meredith if she would have sex with him, the "Dirty Mistresses Club" and all, but she shut him down. He didn't know what to do about it. He might have been tempted to tell Meredith everything if he had been a woman and she hadn't been liable to tell Shep the first chance she got.

If Meredith wouldn't have sex with him, Mark didn't think it worth the effort to get one of the nurses to sleep with him. He didn't have the energy, he was just hurt-- truly, deeply hurt, and there was no way to repair that damage, although he was sure that Addison had no intention of trying. She didn't care about him-- she cared about herself and her own happiness (for once), and he wasn't going to get in the way of that. So he removed himself from the situation the only way that he knew how-- the man-whore way.

So Mark lied to Addison. He told her that he had slept with someone else, that he had broken the pact. It was easier than having to look into her eyes and see the pain that contorted her gorgeous face as she told him what she had done, which he was positive that she would have done-- if nothing else, Addison was an honest person. She was even telling him that they needed to talk about things, which could mean nothing else other than that she was going to tell him that things wouldn't work out. So he beat her to it.

Mark's speech was a bit harsher than it maybe should have been, and he was almost certain that she could tell that he knew she had slept with Karev, he could see the guilt starting to cloud her features, but he didn't give her a concrete reason to suspect that he knew, but he was intense. He basically told her that she was a whore by calling himself one for "doing" what she had, but he was hurt and entitled to be. She had hurt him more deeply than anyone else could have. Why couldn't she have just told him from the start they had no chance? Had she really felt vulnerable and unloved enough to have used him simply because he loved her unconditionally? She had just been hurt that Derek loved Meredith so much more than he had loved her for years, and she wasn't confident enough in herself to believe that Karev would find her desirable. She had used him as a security blanket, not taking his feelings into consideration. Perhaps it was his fault for having been to accessible, too unconditional. Now all he had was a broken heart that he wasn't sure he could mend.

The worst part, though, was that even after she had wronged him so horribly, he still could not feel an ounce of anger towards her, all he felt was the same pure, overwhelming love that he had always felt in her presence. She was his air, and without her, he couldn't breathe...he had no chance for survival. And she was gone.