So, I still don't quite know what to think of this fic. The plot is just, well, kinda random really.
But, I'll let you guys see for yourselves. And as always, I'd love to hear any comments or suggestions for improvement. I've been staring at this fic so long that I can hardly understand the words anymore, so I'm sure fresh eyes will do better at finding anything that needs to be fixed :)
Oh, and before I forget, I want to thank everyone who has left me such amazing reviews for my other stories. You guys are simply brilliant.
Enjoy.
Beckett kicked her door shut with a sigh, dropping her keys and handbag on the table and tossing her stack of mail down beside them. She closed her eyes briefly as she tugged off her coat, taking a moment to try unsuccessfully to clear her mind of their latest case.
It had been a bad one.
Opening her eyes, she carefully hung up her coat, shaking her head slightly. They were all bad ones. Every single one. But this one– the stabbing murder of an office worker, a mother of three young daughters– had naturally struck a chord with her, and really, it had gotten to her more deeply than she'd like to admit.
Thank God for Castle. She'd never admit it to his face, but honestly, she knew she never would have made it through the day without him. Shutting the closet door firmly, she tried not to think about the fact that she'd been having that thought a lot more frequently in recent months. The idea of being somehow… dependent on Castle left her feeling more than a little uncomfortable, so she pushed the thought away, grabbing the pile of mail and sorting through it as she headed to the kitchen, leaning casually against the counter.
When she saw the small, unmarked white envelope tucked in with the rest of her mail, she froze, her mind suddenly occupied by only one single, immediate thought.
Threat.
Without consciously realizing it, she placed her hand on her gun, her eyes darting quickly around the apartment, alert for anything suspicious. Seeing nothing unusual, she turned and slowly put the pile of mail down onto the counter, nudging the envelope free with her elbow.
Then, always cautious, she opened it carefully with one of the knives from the knife block, only touching it at the corner with the very tips of her fingers. Once it was open, she tipped the contents gently onto the countertop, and suddenly two things happened at once.
Something small and hard fell from the envelope, bouncing off the counter and skittering across the floor. At the same moment a small, printed square of paper fluttered onto the countertop, gently coming to a rest with the text side down.
Carefully picking it up by the corner, Beckett slowly turned it over.
And felt her eyebrows rise.
Printed on the square was a symbol, possibly Mayan, although she couldn't be sure. And below the symbol was a single word.
"FAITH."
Mmm-kay… Beckett thought slowly, double-checking both sides of the paper, and even the inside of the envelope, for anything that would make this make any kind of sense. Finding nothing else, she shook her head, placing the paper and envelope back down onto the tabletop. Then, she went in search of the mysterious other object, scanning the floor to see where it had come to rest.
Eventually finding it half-concealed against the base of her refrigerator, she picked it up, examining the small object closely. It was a small, round wooden bead, less than a centimetre in diameter, made of dark wood and carved with a tiny symbol identical to the one on the piece of paper.
The writing on the paper now made more sense, but she felt as if the entire thing had just become even weirder than it already was. Studying the bead's shiny, dark wood, she guessed it to be made from high-quality ebony, the white symbol contrasting with the almost-black wood. Leaning against the counter once more, she frowned down at the small bead on her palm, searching vainly for a clue that would tell her what the hell was going on.
After several minutes of trying fruitlessly to come up with a plausible theory that would make this whole situation make sense– where was Castle and his wild explanations when she needed him?– she simply gave up, putting the bead in a small, decorative bowl on her coffee table, and leaving the piece of paper beside it.
###
Three weeks later, the decorative bowl was getting rather full, and Beckett had just about had enough of it herself. Every weekday since that first delivery, there had been an identical white envelope tucked in with her mail, each one containing a square of paper and a single bead.
'Faith' had now been joined by 'Devotion', 'Honesty', 'Romance', 'Honour', 'Laughter', 'Fidelity', 'Health', 'Friendship', 'Respect', 'Happiness', 'Security', 'Passion', 'Loyalty', and now, 'Trust'.
To tell the truth, she would have found it kind of romantic if it wasn't quite so disconcerting. Every time she saw the unmarked envelope, she couldn't help but remember the whole Dunn nightmare, unable to ignore the possibility that this was just the beginning of a new disaster. As a precaution, she'd been keeping a close eye on their recent cases, but so far none had been at all unusual, with nothing whatsoever to link them to her mysterious deliveries.
Trailing her fingers idly through the bowl of beads, Beckett decided that she'd been ignoring the whole situation for too long. It was about time she did some digging.
Someone had to be delivering the envelopes; she would just have to find out who.
Heading to the shower, she made a mental note to ask the Super to see the security footage from the foyer. The person delivering them couldn't possibly have put anything in her mailbox without being seen by the camera, so a quick check of the tapes should give her all the answers she needed.
Feeling better already– solving mysteries was what she did for a living, after all– she suddenly changed her mind about the shower. A hot bath and a Derrick Storm novel seemed like the perfect plan of action right now.
###
The security footage had been a bust.
It was not that she didn't know who her mystery deliveryman had been; on the contrary, she knew exactly who he was. She had wasted hours of her time and energy watching the recordings from the past two weeks, simply to discover that the person leaving the envelopes in her mail had, in fact, been the mailman.
The next day she'd taken a late lunch break at work– much to Castle's confusion and interest– to head back to her building, waiting in the foyer for the mailman to arrive. Right on schedule, she saw him enter the foyer with his big grey mailbag, and she stepped forward to intercept him, pulling out her badge for good measure.
"Hey, Benny. Can I talk to you a minute?"
"Uh, s-sure, Miss Beckett," Benny stammered, looking alarmed. "What can I help you with?"
Reaching into the pile of mail in his hands, Beckett pulled out a small, unmarked white envelope, holding it up for him to see.
"This, Benny," Beckett said, wearing her best cop-face. "I want you to tell me who's been having you deliver these to me."
Looking uncomfortable, Benny said, "I can't. I don't know who."
Beckett raised her eyebrows incredulously. "You don't know? Benny, you really expect me to believe that a veteran mailman like you would just accept unmarked envelopes from a stranger? Especially envelopes that you were then delivering to a cop?"
Benny was sweating now. "Look, Detective, I've got a daughter with cancer. Her treatments are expensive– we've barely been getting by. And then he comes along and offers me a crazy amount of money just to give you these, and I thought, you know, why not? My daughter means the world to me, and honestly I'd do just about anything to make her better again."
"Benny, sick daughter or not, admitting to taking bribes is not making this look any better for you."
"No, you don't understand!" Benny insisted, looking panicked now. "I wouldn't have taken them from just anybody, you know? But he–" cutting himself off, Benny fell silent, staring at her with wide eyes.
Realizing what he was about to say, Beckett pounced on his admission. "You know him, don't you? Who is he, Benny?"
"What was in the envelopes, Detective? Did he send you something dangerous?" Benny asked anxiously, completely ignoring her question.
Surprised, Beckett replied without thinking. "Well, no. They seem more like love-tokens, actually," she said, then her eyes narrowed. "Why?"
Benny looked relieved, then determined. "Look, Detective, I like you and I respect you. But I'm afraid that, unless you're going to arrest me, I won't tell you what you want to know." Seeing Beckett's stunned look, he added, "I'm sorry. But I have to go, or I'm going to be behind schedule all day."
Hastily stuffing the tenants' mail into their mailboxes, Benny gave her a final nod before making his escape, leaving her standing in the foyer, frustrated and utterly bewildered.
Shaking her head slowly, Beckett realized she still held the envelope. With a small sigh, she shoved it deep into her pocket, then grabbed her keys. She needed to get back to the Precinct.
###
"What's that?"
"What's what, Castle?" Beckett answered disinterestedly, her eyes never leaving her paperwork.
"In your jacket pocket."
Looking down, Beckett saw part of the white envelope sticking out of her pocket. Shoving it down out of sight, she returned to her notes.
"It's nothing."
"For 'nothing' it seems to have you a little on edge, Detective. Is it something to do with what's been happening for the past couple of weeks?"
Beckett's head snapped up.
"What do you know?"
Castle looked surprised. "Only that you've been a little quieter in recent weeks, and you often get this thoughtful look, like you're wondering about something. That's all," he said, then added after a moment, "But, judging by that reaction you just had, I'd be very interested to know more."
"That's a shame, because there isn't more. Now, be quiet so I can get this paperwork done."
"Do you want to hear my theory?"
"God, no. And I thought I told you to be quiet."
"I'm thinking that you've been getting fan mail from all the adoring Nikki Heat fans."
"Castle…"
"No? How about this: they're letters from all the snazziest magazines, asking you to be on their front covers."
"Castle, would you shut it already?"
"No, no, wait. I got it. You've been getting love notes from a secret admirer."
Beckett looked up at him with a cutting glare.
"Shut up, Castle."
Castle looked shocked.
"I'm right? Someone's seriously been sending you love notes? You're joking."
"No-one's sending me love notes, Castle. Now, if you don't shut up, I swear I am going to shoot you."
"Answer me one question honestly and I promise I won't say another word."
Beckett looked up, eyeing him suspiciously. "You promise?"
"Cross my heart."
"Fine. Ask your damn question."
"Are you, even a little, kind of almost enjoying this secret admirer thing, and perhaps feeling intrigued, maybe even a little flattered by it all?"
Rolling her eyes, Beckett responded sourly, "Okay, yeah, maybe a little. Satisfied? Now, you better keep your end of the deal and keep your mouth shut."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Castle make a zipping motion across his lips. With another roll of her eyes, she focused again on her paperwork, never noticing the small, pleased smile that spread across his face as he watched her.
###
The next day, she knew that something was different about the envelope the moment she saw it.
There was now a total of twenty beads in her bowl– over the past few days, her previous beads had been joined by 'Magic', 'Integrity', 'Family', 'Hope', and most disturbingly, 'Love'– but whatever was in this newest envelope was certainly not another bead.
Perhaps, finally, she was going to get some answers.
Hastily ripping open the envelope, she carefully tipped the contents out onto the countertop. Immediately her eye was caught by the object the envelope had contained; a thin, dark leather cord that looked just long enough to encircle her wrist once with a little to spare.
Okay, she deduced, so someone had apparently spent a month sending her some kind of bizarre build-it-yourself bracelet.
But who? And in God's name, why?
Reaching for the piece of paper which lay face-down on the counter, she flipped it over. And simply stared at the two words printed upon it.
Happy Birthday.
Seriously? That was what all that had been about? Seriously?
Still staring at the paper, she tried to run through a mental list of people who would know that it was her birthday tomorrow. Naturally her friends and father were at the top of the list, but, with a sinking feeling, she acknowledged that it would only take minimal digging for anyone to have access to that kind of information about her.
Feeling confused and more than a little disturbed, Beckett picked up the leather cord and walked over to her coffee table, intending to throw it in the bowl with the beads.
But for some reason she paused, looking from the cord to the beads and back again.
"Oh, what the hell," she muttered, sitting down on the couch and reaching for the beads. Really, there was no harm in putting it together– she was just interested to see how it looked as a completed bracelet, that was all.
Plus, it wasn't like she was actually going to wear it.
###
"That's a lovely bracelet you're wearing, Detective."
Looking up sharply from her paperwork, Beckett met Castle's eyes only briefly, responding with a curt, "Thank you," before hastily pulling her sleeve down to cover her wrist. Dammit, she'd only worn the damn thing because she'd honestly thought her sleeve was long enough to keep anyone from seeing it.
Okay, so she liked it. It had quite possibly been given to her my some deranged fan that had taken an inexplicable liking to her, and who may or may not also be a murderer, but goddammit she liked it anyway. She liked the feel of it on her wrist, the deep shine of the wood, the meaningful symbols. Had she seen it in a store, she probably would have bought it for herself.
So, just for today, she was allowing herself to wear it. Once her birthday was done, it would go into a box in some dark corner of her cupboard, never to see the light of day again.
Because that was the smart thing to do.
After returning to her paperwork for a few moments, she glanced up at Castle, surprised he'd said no more about the bracelet, not even asking who had given it to her or why she'd been so eager to hide it. He was simply sitting contentedly, gazing off into the distance, clearly having had no further interest in the bracelet beyond his offhand comment of a few moments before.
With a slight shake of her head, Beckett looked down, forcing herself to drop it.
Had she really been hoping that Castle had been the one who had sent her the bracelet?
Okay, so maybe she had. Just a little bit. But only because he would be preferable to a psycho stalker.
That was all.
But it clearly wasn't from him anyway– no way would he have been able to keep his mouth shut about it the moment he saw her wearing it. And plus, he didn't even know it was her birthday today.
No, Castle was definitely not her secret admirer. Focusing on her paperwork, she stubbornly ignored the strange, heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
The one that felt oddly like disappointment.
###
Slowly, the morning wore into afternoon, and afternoon into evening. Sighing quietly, Beckett checked her watch, knowing that her paperwork was finally nearly done. And then, she'd be free to go home and relax, and do whatever she liked.
The thought sounded nice, except for the fact that whatever she did, she'd be doing alone.
A small part of her almost regretted ending things with Josh. He'd been a great guy, but she'd seen soon enough that they were simply all wrong for each other. Still, she couldn't help but miss having someone to come home to, someone to share her heart and life with. Determinedly, she forced herself to keep that as a general 'someone', stubbornly ignoring the fact that the image of one particular face had entered her mind along with that thought.
Just at that moment, Castle spoke up from his place beside her desk.
"You look like you need a break. Come on, I'll make you a coffee," he said, leaving his chair to stand expectantly beside her. Looking up at him with a small smile, she pushed away her heavy thoughts, and nodded.
"Yeah, I think a coffee is exactly what I need right now," she agreed, rising quickly from her chair to walk by his side.
The break room was empty but for the two of them, and Beckett leaned comfortably against the table, watching Castle as he carefully placed two cups on the tray. And then, to her confusion, he suddenly paused, turning to face her.
"Oh, and before I forget, this came for you while you were in the bathroom earlier."
"What…" she said slowly, staring at the small white envelope he was holding out to her. After a few moments she reached out to take it, but just as her fingers closed around it, she suddenly saw something else.
Around Castle's wrist was a beaded bracelet.
It was slightly different to hers; two dark strips of leather bordered the string of beads, making it wider, more masculine. But despite the difference, there could be no doubt that the bracelet he wore was the partner to her own.
Lifting her eyes slowly, her gaze locked with his.
"It was you."
Her words were quiet, somewhere between a statement and a question. Castle's mouth curved just slightly, giving her all the answer she needed. Blowing out a heavy sigh, Beckett dropped her gaze and ran a hand through her hair, feeling relieved. And feeling a few other things she couldn't even define.
"Oh," Castle said, so quietly it was almost inaudible. "You're disappointed."
Hearing the hurt in his voice, Beckett looked up, frowning.
"Disappointed?" she asked disbelievingly, taking a step closer and looking up at him. "Castle, you had me thinking I had another Scott Dunn on my hands."
"Oh," Castle said again, but this time his tone was thoughtful. "I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think it through as well as I should have."
Brightening slightly, he held out the envelope to her once more. "Well, I promise this is the last one."
Looking up at his earnest expression, Beckett couldn't help but smile. As she took the envelope from his grasp, she realized how very close together they were standing, but didn't step away.
She held his gaze as she opened the envelope, then slowly dropped her eyes to the card contained within. Unlike the others, this one was handwritten, the script unmistakeably Castle's.
Looking down at the two simple words, she had to suppress a smile.
Dinner tonight?
Slowly lifting her eyes to his, she felt her breath catch slightly in her throat as she saw the unmasked tenderness in his expression. Taking a steadying breath, she said quietly, "It's a date."
His blue eyes flashed with heat and she felt a sudden flutter in her stomach, and for a brief moment she truly thought he was going to kiss her, right there in the middle of the precinct.
And, for that brief moment, she wanted him to.
But instead, he simply blinked and leaned back, an easy grin forming on his face.
"Great," he said happily, checking his watch, "they should be about set up by now."
Blinking rapidly, Beckett scrambled to recollect her suddenly chaotic thoughts.
"Who will be?" she asked slowly, once she'd finally regained the ability to think coherently.
"The caterers. Your Super was kind enough to let them into your apartment so they could set up, but before you kill me, you should know that I requested that he stay and supervise them while they were there so he could make sure they didn't get up to any funny business with your stuff."
For a moment Beckett could do nothing but stare at him. She'd been a cop long enough that people rarely surprised her anymore, yet somehow, Castle still managed to on a regular basis. She found she liked that.
Eventually, she gathered her thoughts and simply nodded. "Okay."
Castle looked surprised. "Okay? Really? You're not even a little bit mad at me for letting strangers into your apartment?"
Beckett smiled at his surprise. "Castle, I think what you're doing is very sweet. So no, I'm not mad at you."
Suddenly playful, she leaned a little closer, and added in a seductive tone, "But if you'd like me to punish you…" trailing off, she grinned at his shell-shocked expression.
"So, when's dinner?" she asked casually, leaning back and enjoying watching him try to remember how to answer.
"Uh… well, now, if you're ready to go," he said unsteadily, blinking like he'd just been caught in a very bright pair of headlights. "Can your paperwork wait 'til the morning?"
Tilting her head slightly, Beckett considered it. Hell, it was her birthday, after all. Work could wait.
"Let's go," she said with a smile, and he grinned in response. Together they headed back over to her desk, gathering together their things and grabbing their coats. Castle held out his arm to her, and after a moment's hesitation, she took it, leaning against him slightly as they walked together toward the elevator.
As the doors closed and the elevator began to descend, Beckett toyed with the bracelet on her wrist, smiling at the way the beads shone under the light.
"You know, I really do love this bracelet, Castle. What made you choose it?"
"Well, I wanted to get you something good, because your birthday is a special day that doesn't come around all that often, and it's also probably the one day I can actually get away with spoiling you," Castle said casually, leaning just a little closer as he continued, "but I chose the bracelet specifically because I liked it, and because I felt it symbolized our relationship quite well."
Beckett felt her breath catch in her throat at the way he said 'our relationship', the fluttering in her stomach increasing as she thought about all the different symbols on the beads, and the meanings associated with each.
Feeling her heart beating faster, she reviewed his words carefully.
What exactly was he saying? Did he really mean what she thought he meant?
She didn't have to wait long for her answer.
"And plus," he added offhandedly, looking down at her with a small smile, "I'm saving the ring for next year."
Thanks for reading! Remember, if you have any thoughts (good or bad) don't hesitate to share them with me :)
Oh, and by the way, I'm sure you all figured out pretty quick who was sending the envelopes. I never tried to hide who it was (in fact I think I succeeded in making it pretty damn obvious haha), because the point wasn't to keep us readers guessing, but just to make Beckett herself doubt it a little. And of course, being the die-hard Caskett shipper I am, I couldn't possibly have made the bracelet come from anyone else :)