AN: my favourite group (Demon Hunter). My favourite album (Triptych). My favourite game. I haven't got any relation to them, I've just noticed several song fics and decided to add mine.

I don't belong here

I never saw this on the path I walk

The blood-stained walls, the lines of chalk on the floor

What am I supposed to do? It can't be Shepard - woman I love would never work with terrorists. Cerberus "free" colonies from mercenaries and slavers just to be abducted with unknown force. And now I walk on empty colony, with pods all around, and afraid of only one discovery.

It's getting so hard

I never saw the backlash when the tide began to rise

All this time we prepared to Reapers invasion we haven't paid attention to rumors. And now all the rumors began to come true. I look at her... Her? Or only myth, empty shell, puppet of the Illusive Man? I should protect the only thing Shepard left me - memories, but how it's possible if the enemy destroying it has so familiar face?

I can't remember

The way it was when everything felt right

My mouth held shut and eyes sealed tight with control

So I remember on the inside

I could never keep my emotions near her - I thought Shepard is my mirror, thinking the same, feeling the same. I don't know what is better - if she was lying to me all the time or if Cerberus destroyed the only personality I could trust. Trying to understand, I open myself, first time for this years.

I found the dark, infernal place I don't wanna face anymore

Somehow, I won't stop feeding the pain

My heart's just the same as before

I found the dark, infernal place I don't wanna face anymore

And somehow...

This years. I thought pain is over, I knew Shepard would wish me live normally and not bury myself, but it couldn't help. I was the only person left to worry about Reapers - Tali is on Flotilla now, Wrex is a battlemaster of clan Urdnot, Liara is the informational broker and I've lost track of Garrus. I haven't done it for my pride - impossible task left me exhausted, and visions didn't came tonight. Oh, how I wish it was just a nightmare.

So now I'm stuck here

Between the guilty and the insincere

The words I spoke have left me here all alone

I put all my passion in words, and it wasn't any response. Shepard is as cold as two guardians in Cerberus uniform behind her. I might laugh at the theory she told me about resurrection if it wasn't about my feelings, her excuses were pathetic. Thousand times before I've heard all this phrases about noble goals, and every time people followed this colours. Can't she understand I know all this drawn, fake emotions?

I should have known this

I could've burned it when I had that choice

And now I'd die to kill this noise in my head

So I remember on the inside

Why, why can't I feel disgust to her now? She's traitor now, and the best I can do is warn Council. But Shepard is the only person who can do something - it happened two years ago, it happens now. The only thing I can do to honour the memory of woman I love, to protect people is help to her evil twin. I'd better kill myself than do this, but it isn't about me, it's about duty.

I found the dark, infernal place I don't wanna face anymore

Somehow, I won't stop feeding the pain

My heart's just the same as before

I found the dark, infernal place I don't wanna face anymore

And somehow...

I wish her good luck and walk away. They may won my brain, persuade that Cerberus is the only force that may do something, but I'll never let Shepard break my barriers again. If I walk with her - how I wish to protect her, to have the slightest hope someday woman I love will come back, I won't let anybody fool me again - neither Shepard with her intoxicating speeches nor myself.

So I remember on the inside

If this is all the love my spirit can give

Just take it back tonight

There is not a reason more to live.

But I've already know my dreams will be about. Reapers, Collectors, Cerberus - they all will be the same. Not us.