Title: The Young and the Gullible (or otherwise known as, Never Ask Skywarp for Advice)

Summary: After Thrust asks Skywarp about how to court seekers, Skywarp decides to give him horribly bad advice as a prank. The best part about it? Thrust uses this information on Starscream...aka Skywarp's little brother.

Warnings: Slash, Transformers swearing, some violence, Skywarp being Skywarp, sexual harassment, verbal abuse, and a prank gone horribly wrong

Continuity: G1

Disclaimer: I definitely do not own Transformers! Hasbro does.

A/N: My first Transformers fic! Shall we see if I can pull it off?

Units of Time:

Astrosecond - Cybertronian second

Klik - Cybertronian minute

Joor - Cybertronian hour

Cycle - Cybertronian day

Decacycle - Cybertronian week

Orn - Cybertronian month

Vorn - Cybertronian year

Thrust was lonely.

And why, pray tell, was he so lonely?

Well, he was tired of waking up next to no one in his berth. He was tired of just merely glancing over and seeing Dirge and Ramjet snuggle each other, warm and cozy in their berth. He was tired of feeling the pangs of jealousy and jaundice after watching his trinemates cuddle.

Simply put, Thrust was sick of being alone.

He wanted someone to gently tease and poke fun at, but then immediately make it up to him by engaging in 'adult activities.' He wanted someone to passionately embrace and tenderly caress when he needed comfort and affection. He wanted someone to flaunt and boast about in front of his envious friends and comrades.

But Thrust didn't have Someone. He had No One.

And Thrust really, really, really wanted Someone. This, of course, meant that he would have to find Someone.

But the problem was, who would be his Someone?

Thrust would prefer it if he had a jet as his Someone, simply because it would be easier for him and his lover that way. However, that limited his choice drastically, leaving only five others. But then, Dirge and Ramjet were obviously out of the question, seeing as they were bondmates, which limited his choice to three others. Thundercracker would be a good Someone, most likely caring and protective, but the way he was quiet and skeptical most of the time wasn't appealing to someone as loud and boisterous as Thrust. On the other servo, Skywarp was facetious and rather easygoing. But Thrust could never view him as a Someone, only as a drinking buddy and a friend. Therefore, that left only one option…

Starscream.

Honestly, when Thrust really thought about it, Starscream was the perfect Someone. He was young – still in his prime time and most likely very fertile – clever, strong-willed, one of the quickest seekers around if not the quickest, and he had gorgeous facial plates and a stunning frame, particularly his pert aft, which far too many enjoyed ogling.

Granted, he was rather egotistical, opinionated, feisty, a bit of a coward, and had a terribly screechy voice, but no one was perfect and, most importantly, Thrust wasn't complaining. Starscream could hop into his berth any time he wished to, and Thrust definitely wouldn't grumble about it (Although many mechs wouldn't, Thrust thought acidly).

So, now that Thrust decided who his Someone should be, it should be time to court him, right?

…Except that Thrust had absolutely no idea how to court seekers. His creators had, unfortunately, died while he was old enough to live by himself, but young enough that he didn't know much about the courting ritual.

Thrust frowned and scratched at his helm. Slag. What now?

For a few moments, he simply pondered, thinking of all the possible solutions and contingencies. Soon after, he snapped his helm up and smirked, a brilliant idea already formed in his processor.

He knew exactly what to do now.

He'll ask Skywarp for seeker courtship advice!

One may be asking him or herself, why was he going to ask Skywarp, the most ebullient – yet somehow also the most shiftless – seeker?

Well, Thrust really didn't want to ask Thundercracker. He was a suspicious mech, and would probably assume he would be going after one of his brothers (only Thrust knew that Ramjet and Dirge were secretly bonded). Therefore, Thundercracker would become incredibly wary and never let him have alone time with Starscream or Skywarp. Thrust also didn't want to ask his trinemates. They would just pester him about who he fancied, and try to lecture him about 'being careful' and 'to always use protection' and other incredibly embarrassing, frivolous things. Starscream was out of the question, of course, and Skywarp was really the only seeker left. Besides, who better to ask than your future brother-in-law?

With that in mind, Thrust strolled out of his quarters, his chassis proudly pushed forward as he smirked, and began zealously looking for Skywarp.

Skywarp was having one awesome cycle.

He had already pranked two mechs today (ha, Rumble and Frenzy never saw it coming!), teased Starscream to the point where he ran out of the room in frustration (without even seriously maiming Skywarp!), and he managed to smuggle a cube of high grade when no one was looking.

Life was good.

Currently, he was sipping said smuggled high grade, attempting to make it last, in his quarters by himself, since Starscream (always such a drama queen!) had stormed out and Thundercracker had left to calm him down.

However, his peace was interrupted when a knock at the door startled him, causing him to spill quite a bit of energon on himself.

Skywarp muttered low curses and hurriedly tried to wipe the drink off with a rag he found nearby. "Gimme a klik!" he yelled, just the tiniest bit of irritation creeping into his voice.

After making sure that all of the evidence on him was disposed of, he opened the door to see whoever was disturbing him. He stared confusedly when he noticed a red seeker standing outside of his room. He then grinned pleasantly.

"Hey, Thrust! What do you need?" Skywarp greeted enthusiastically.

"Hey, Skywarp, I need to talk to you," Thrust began firmly, trying to peer inside the room to see if anyone else was there. Skywarp defensively shifted to block his view. Thrust paused at the movement and slightly hesitated when he said, "…Can we chat inside your quarters?"

Skywarp warily stared at him for an astrosecond, but then suddenly relaxed and eagerly stepped aside to let Thrust in.

"Sure! What do you need to talk about, my fellow jet?" he asked rather exuberantly.

Thrust merely looked down at the ground, not saying anything. When he finally looked up and opened his mouth, he faltered and narrowed his optics when he saw Skywarp's berth.

"Is that high grade?" he asked suspiciously, beginning to make his way over to said high grade.

"Uh, no!" Skywarp lied. He warped over to the side of his berth before Thrust could take another step, and downed the rest of the energon in one gulp. His vocalizer let out a series of suspicious, hiccup-like sounds immediately afterwards. Thrust shot him a dirty look, to which Skywarp sheepishly grinned.

Then, after a few moments of what could only be described as an awkward silence, Skywarp shifted on his peds and said, "So…whaddya want?"

"Oh, um…" Thrust began, nervously wringing his servos. He berated himself in his thoughts for being so weak and stupid, and immediately said in a bolder tone, "Listen, if I tell you this, do you swear to Primus not to taunt me or tell this to anybody else?"

"Whoa, this is serious if you're making me swear to Primus," Skywarp idly commented, hopping onto his berth and lazily spreading himself out on it. "Okay, fine, I swear to Primus. Now, tell me about this little secret of yours."

Thrust didn't appreciate how unconcerned Skywarp was about all of this, but he knew that it was just a part of his personality. He sighed and then said, "…I need help...on how to court Seekers."

Skywarp instantly burst out laughing, but then stopped and stared dumbfounded at Thrust when he was shot a disapproving, angered glare.

"Wait, you were being serious?" he asked confusedly, staring at the other jet as if he was an intricate puzzle he had to solve.

"Yes!" Thrust snipped, offended. His lip components twisted in an ugly frown. "And don't ask me who it's about or why I don't know about courting," he snapped, having noticed Skywarp's puzzled look and opened mouth.

Skywarp closed his mouth and smirked, carefully hiding the wicked gleam in his optics. He stood up from his berth and walked over to Thrust, resting an arm over his tense shoulders. "Don't worry, Thrust, you're dirty little secret is safe with me! Now, what do you wanna know?"

Poor Thrust, Skywarp thought gleefully. He has no idea how badly I'm going to screw this up for him. Heh, I feel bad for whoever he likes. It's probably Ramjet or Dirge – those poor suckers.

"Well, um, for starters, how should you ask him – or her – on a date?" asked Thrust unsurely, his tone suddenly feeble and insecure for such a loud mech.

Skywarp's smirk grew larger. This was going to be fun.