She stared out her apartment window. It was past midnight and a light drizzle of rain misted the air through which the night city lights were visible. But all she saw was bleakness, a world that she felt distant from. She felt like a lost child, again. Sitting in her pajamas with kittens on them, hugging her knees drawn to her chest as if to give herself comfort that she wasn't alone.

She picked up her glass from the windowsill and swirled the golden liquid around. The whisky circled and then settled to stillness. She watched it intently as if focusing hard enough would stop her mind drifting to the inevitable but no matter how she tried to avoid thinking about him it just kept coming back. Sleep wouldn't come easily again tonight.

She'd always been independent and never had strong attachments to anyone in her life. This was different. Jordan's new life was desolate ever since Woody's accident and his strong rejection of her. She realized now what a large part Woody had played in her life. He was always there for her, her best friend, the one person she could trust completely. In the last year their friendship had grown strong and their easy companionship had shifted to something deeper but it was something she'd never acknowledged, not even to herself. She'd taken him for granted and never stopped to appreciate just how special their relationship was.

Jordan knew she carried some of the blame for where they were now; she'd pushed him away too many times. She'd rejected him and hurt him so badly without even meaning to. But his reaction to her since he was injured was disproportionate to what she believed she'd done wrong. Yes, she was guilty of keeping him at arms length and of denying her feelings. Yes, she was also guilty of picking an inopportune time to tell him of her feelings. He had other concerns on his mind, but it just didn't make sense that he should hate her for it.

Her mind played its usual game with her, the one that came every night at bedtime. She would think back to every opportunity, every time she had said no when she could have said yes. Surely if she'd told him of her feelings earlier than that day then he wouldn't have cause to be angry with her and everything would be different now.

Like a broken record she inflicted this upon herself on a regular basis. It gave her the temporary enjoyment of imagining what it could have been like, followed with the grief of realizing that the chance is now lost forever. Like an addict her mind pursued that temporary high.

Tonight she settled on the day that she considered as the biggest chance that she ruined. It was the one where Woody was very clear in laying his heart on the line, it was one where she felt she had the most to blame to shoulder because at that time she truly did know her feelings for him. She should have fought harder, not just step aside and let him walk away hurt. She tossed up in her mind whether she wanted to play out the fantasy in the morning or the end of the day – two opportunities missed ... ...

Woody burst into her office noisily in a frenzy of colorful balloons. She groaned and half-heartedly protested about their agreement about no birthday fuss. "Woody, I told you what I wanted most for my birthday was not to be reminded it was my birthday"

"Then I guess I shouldn't give you this" Woody says handing her the small ring box.

"I see you're good at keeping promises"

"Just go with it, Jordan. It's called happy birthday, okay? Happy birthday. Don't worry; it's not what you think it is. Well, maybe it is but... I don't know… I just wanted to get you something special. Show you how much you mean to me."

"A diamond ring?"

"It's a friendship ring. Okay, calm down. It goes on your right hand, not your left. The lady at the jewellery store said that they're all the rage."

"Oh Woody, it's beautiful. I really don't know what to say."

"Well you could start by letting me put it on" he said as her took her right hand and slipped the ring on her finger. He then drew her hand up to his lips and kissed it lightly whispering, "Jordan, you are so precious to me".

Jordan fought back the tears she felt welling in her eyes and reached up with her free hand to gently caress the side of his face.

He tugged her forward and held her tightly against him. She let herself melt against his strong chest.

They stayed like this for the longest time, enjoying the intimacy of the hug, neither willing to separate. They both noticed the shift as they stayed close together, with Woody absently tangling his fingers her hair and Jordan nuzzling gently against his neck. Still holding her he pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Jordan" he said questioningly. In answer she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, kissing him gently. There was no mistaking her intentions and Woody wasn't going to let the opportunity slip by, letting the balloons go they rose up to the ceiling as he backed her to her desk. Pressing against her he deepened their kiss, knowing there would be no going back for either of them once they let themselves go this far ... ...

Jordan choked with emotion at imagining how it would have felt to kiss him so passionately without holding back in that moment. Shaken abruptly out of her fantasy the tears slid freely down her cheeks, "Damn you Woody, why are you doing this to me".