The Return of the Power Hungry Monarch
And the Final Part of the Failed Fuchsianess
Summary/Warning/Author's Note/Oh whatever!
Oh my goodness! After 2.5 years of writing this, we're finally on the final part of the trilogy!! We will be writing a sequel, making the trilogy a quartet, but that's another book away. Once we're done, I will return to my sue-bashing.
Seriously people, how do you write 2.5 years and get only um...114 + 88 reviews? PEOPLE WE LOVE REVIEWS!!!!!!! REVIEW! TELL PEOPLE TO REVIEW AND READ OUT STORY!!! WE LOVE YOU ALL AND HAVE COOKIES!!!
This is the third installment of The Ton of the Jewelery Box (i.e. The Nobility of Shiny Stuff). If you are utterly confused, I sugest you return to our bio and read Fellowship of the Freaks first. Proceed on as directed. Warning: we are not on drugs, but are incrediby crazy. Several characters may be bashed beyond recognition. Such as Pastrami, who I shall not reveal until his time has arrived. (no pastrami, GET AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD! yes, tht is called akeyboard. Shush, Pastrami!) (sorry)
In this portion of the series, our daring, broken fellowship/hitchhikers seek to destroy the ring of Sauron. (Well what else do you expect them to do?) The authors attempt to keep their charaters from destroying plot more than they have to in order to avoid copyright infringment.
Chapter 1
Pink beats Purple!
In which the fuchsianess in introduced and Amanda is informed that not everyone likes hugs
Kelsey's PoV
"Awaken, Lady Kelsey!" Aragorn shook me awake.
"What?" I rolled over.
"The enemy has flown overhead, we must ride!" He left as I sat up.
"The enemy – WAIT!" I shook Mandy, "Mandy, Pippin looked at the Palantir and we missed it!"
"That's nice." Mandy rolled over, "Wake me up when breakfast's ready."
"AMANDA GET UP THIS INSTANCE BEFORE YOU GET EATEN BY A NAZGUL!" I screamed, to which not only Mandy but several others gave me odd looks and even frightened ones as they grabbed for weapons. Upon finding out there was no Nazgul, they all glared at me. "What?"
We were soon ready to depart and rode into the night. Mandy sat like a sack of potatoes on her horse and I wasn't much better. I simply tried to stay awake. The soft clop clop of horses seemed a quiet lullaby. Clop clop clop clop. It grew louder. Wait, louder? I looked up to see someone approaching and everyone stopped.
"Who are you? What is your haste?" Eomer called out, continuing some conversation.
"Halbarad, Dunadan, ranger of the North I am." The shadow answerer, "We seek one Aragorn son of Arathorn and we heard that he was in Rohan."
"Oh." Mandy muttered, "It's just Halbarad."
"Just Halbarad? Just Halbarad?" I was shocked, "Nickel tell Mandy how –Nickel? Where is she? She came from Isengard with us . . . where did she go?"
"Maybe she went with Gandalf." Mandy offered.
"But her horse is over there and Shadowfax could not carry three people."
"Ernie isn't here either, maybe she doubled up."
"No his horse is still here too."
"Another mystery!" Mandy announced dramatically, "To be solved by the great Amanda!"
"Sure, whatever." And we rode on.
Nickel's PoV
Shadowfax slowed below us as dawn came, but we did not land. I did however; send a message to Gandalf via paper airplane, telling him I would await him at Minas Tirith. The enemy was looking for a white horse, not a flying carpet.
From this height I could see the river, a gleaming ribbon of silver, winding around the root of white capped mountains. Up here, the sky was a blanket of paling stars. The beacons below glimmered brightly against the white snow of the mountains. Ernie sat squarely in the middle of the carpet, curled in a tight ball.
"What is it?" I asked from my corner of the huge carpet, standing, "you aren't afraid of heights are you?"
"No!" he looked up, indignant, "I'm freezing! Just like at Helms Deep, I couldn't fight in that kind of weather!"
"How can you be cold?" I asked.
"I'm not cold, I'm freezing."
I couldn't say anything to that. I walked along the billowing stretch of carpet to where my staff lay with my quilted purse wrapped around it. I pulled a large, fluffy, black cloak out and tossed it to Ernie. The cloak was wrapped around him in a second but was soon abandoned to flutter down to the real world below, the miniature, hard world. The sun rose, coloring the few clouds like cotton candy and warming the air. Ernie was perfectly comfortable.
The rays of light emitting from the sun struck the little china world below, setting the silver ribbon of the river afire with light and the peaks aglow with golden snow. Ernie stood up cautiously and walked across the carpet. Each step anyone took on it would sink down, like walking through snow. Watching Ernie trudge across the carpet was better than a Charlie Chaplin film.
"How much longer?' he asked.
"The night after tomorrow, I believe." I told him.
"Could we land in a bit and eat breakfast or something? We've been up here all night!"
I looked around," We just passed Edoras. Perhaps in a few minutes. I don't want to be seen." We stood in comfortable silence, watching the sun climb into the sky before us. The wind blew the carpet southeast, over the mountains. "Run!" I called out (eastward).
The carpet sped over the gilded peaks. In the new morning light, looking down, I could see the color of our transportation. Fuchsia.
"Glory." Ernie breathed.
"The view or the carpet?'
He looked around, "Well I meant the view, but the carpet is . . . odd."
"I swear," I raised my hands, "I did not choose it.' I grinned, "If I had it would be purple."
Ernie dove at me, "Pink beats purple!" (No, Ernie is not gay)
I dodged toward the center of the carpet, "Careful!"
He dove again.
I jumped back . . . a little too far. The edge of the carpet gave way beneath my feet. I just managed to grab it, "Ernie you moron! Get me up!"
He looked down at me, "Admit it, pink beats purple."
"Ernie!"
"Admit it!"
"Fine!"
"Fine what?'
"Pink beats purple!"
Ernie hauled me up. But there is something called gravity that pulls down though others may pull up. No matter how strong Ernie may be, it didn't help that the ground beneath him was moving, that is to say, the carpet was moving. I was caught in a vertical rack. He pulled straining against gravity, but didn't use his legs (After all, that how you're supposed to lift things) because the carpet moved.
"Can't lift!" Ernie groaned.
I screamed, "hold on, Ernie! Brith golla ten kemen!" ([carpet unto earth) The carpet dropped like a stone, fast then I could fall. When the wind pushed me above the carpet, I screamed, "Dar si!"(halt here) The carpet ceased falling and I floated cross-legged onto it. . . and on top of Ernie. We stared at each other in silence for a few long moments. "Pink beats purple," I announced, "At being the world's ugliest color!"
Ernie's Pov
Nicole grinned, white teeth flashing brilliantly, 'Sorry, I just had to say that." For a moment I stared at her. How could she not notice how much I was trying to show my interest in her? And with her laying on top of me...well, it took all I could to not reach up and kiss her.
She stood up – or tried to, but the carpet had become very hard. There was a dent where I lay, but the rest was rock hard. It had frozen.
"What did you tell it?" I asked, shaking off previous thoughts. If she did notice my advances and chose to do nothing, then I would wait until she was ready.
"To halt" She replied, looking around a little anxiously. "And my staff is gone."
I sat up, 'Gone?'
"Yes, gone, it must have-"
Something hit her on the head.
"Floated up and just landed." I continued her sentence after an awkward silence punctuated by an "ow" on her part.
"Yeah . . ."
Kelsey's Pov
"The road goes ever on and on, down-"
"Mandy!" I groaned, "how many times have you sung that song in the past . . . er . . . hour?"
Mandy grinned, 'Many, many, many, many-" Mandy stopped abruptly, starring behind me.
"Wha-"
"Hey!' Mandy yelped, waving furiously, 'Hey! El . . ." Mandy frowned, thinking as I turned.
"Elladan, Elrohir!" I shouted, waving as well.
"Oh yeah, that's their names!" Mandy slapped her forehead as our friends rode up.
I rolled my eyes, 'What's up guys?" I asked, giggling at their expressions, "What?"
"You're here?" Elrohir asked, "But I thought-"
"Remember," Elladan interrupted as Mandy leapt off her horse, proceeding to give each of them a hug, squealing, "Kelsey did say we'd see them again."
I blinked, "I did?"
"Yeah, you did." Mandy commented, still squeezing Elrohir.
"Oh yeah . . ." I sat up straighter on my horse, "I told you so!"
"Kelsey!" Aragorn called from his group of ranger friends, "noman!" (be good)
"Ada" I whined.
Elladan raised his eyebrows, "Ada? Aragorn?" he guffawed (a suitable term since it looked like he was coughing, throwing up and laughing at the same time).
"Yeah . . .he's kinda like my dad around here." I shrugged again.
Elladan eyed me. "Okay . . ."
"Would you get off!" Elrohir shouted, pushing Mandy away.
"What? You don't like hugs?"
Well so begins the third intallment of our epic adventures! They are epics, we have lists of things and epithets and ll sorts of stuff, but our epic is a whole lot more interesting!