A/N: This thing has been inside my laptop for god-knows-how-long now. I didn't know what else to do with it, so I decided to be a bad girl and post it somewhere.
This is a really short one, though it's somewhat personal to me. It is heavily edited to fit the fandom, though the core of my original story remains.
EDIT: A kind fellow called ScottyBgood pointed out a HUGE flaw, so I have to re-upload an edited one. Thank you, dude.
Disclaimer: The characters I borrowed belongs to where it legally belongs, i.e. not me.
Warning: The scenario depicted is NOT meant to mimic any real-life scenario nor encourage any possible one that involves any form of personal and/or self harm.
Title: Metal Bar
"Hey there."
"Hey."
"What are you doing?"
"Sitting..?"
Tori raised an eyebrow at her nonchalant attitude, considering that she's sitting precariously on a metal bar at the edge of a tall, seven-storey building like it's a daily occurrence.
It probably is.
"You can fall down, you know," she warned, walking towards the pale figure and resting her elbows atop the metal bar.
The figure said nothing. Tori looked up and saw her looking straight forward with a hint of smile playing on her lips. It fascinates the tanned girl how she smiles like nothing is wrong.
Yet both of them knows that everything feels wrong to Jade.
"I do wonder what will happen, though," the pale girl stated after a long silence. "It's permanently tragic, and yet so enticingly poignant."
Beautifully poetic, that's what the other girl is. Tori mused on how the other girl's mind could concoct a symphony of words that breathes a plethora of imagery both hauntingly hopeful and tragic.
"I fail to understand your fascination, I'm afraid," the tanned girl replied with a quirked eyebrow.
"Of course you won't. You have so much life to live for you to see the appeal," Jade grinned, seemingly proud at the girl beside her. "It'll be a tragedy if you turn to something so... belittling.
"Sometimes, I can't tell if you're being serious or just plain sarcastic."
The pale girl chuckled. Despite everything, she can still laugh and smile, and it confuses Tori.
Jade confuses her.
"Actually, I am capable of sincerity," the pale girl replied, looking at the other girl with a mirthful expression, "despite my tendency to be self-absorbed.
It's awfully inaccurate, seeing that Jade spent her life hiding what she really feels. And when she did try to communicate, it exploded and left a wake of broken shards of misunderstanding. It was a mess, and the people who got nicked by the shards left the girl all alone to pick up the pieces.
Brown eyes softened before a smile broke into the surface. Upon seeing the facial transformation, Jade's playful expression faltered and it morphed into a sad smile.
"I love your smile, you know," Tori whispered. "I hate it when I don't see it enough."
Pale shoulders shrugged, the figure turning her attention away from the other girl as the blue-greys refocused on the sunset. "Yeah, that's why I'm trying so hard to smile for you despite everything."
"Don't," the other girl protested. "Though I love your smile, I love you more. I'd rather you not smile and be with me than not smile and be without me. I'm that selfish when it comes to you."
Jade's head whipped in surprise, turning to look at the other girl before laughing out loud, her shoulders and whole body shaking so hard that Tori's finger unconsciously twitched.
One wrong movement and Jade could fall, and it'll be frighteningly easy.
"That is probably the cheesiest thing I've heard in my entire life," Jade finally said when her laughter subsides, Tori's fingers gradually relaxing as the danger dissipated.
Tori should probably be offended at the remark, but she's just happy that she distracted the other girl into a slightly better mood while simultaneously telling her where she stands with the pale girl.
Two birds and one stone.
"Come on," the tanned girl said, pushing herself by her elbows and sauntering away. "Let's go so I could tell you all the cheesy lines I have in store."
Chuckling at the quip, Jade looked her way and just stared, unmoving. Tori knew what the girl is doing and waiting for, so she stopped a couple of feet away before facing her again with an adoring smile.
They just stared at each other, holding a silent communication: Jade's waiting for her to walk away while Tori is waiting for the girl to come to her.
Rolling her eyes playfully, a tanned arm stretched towards the sitting girl with the palm facing upward: it's a sign how Tori needs her as much as Jade needs her.
Blue-grey eyes looked at the offered arm, then moved upward to scrutinize the soft, brown eyes, gauging the sincerity behind those orbs. Finally, the pale figure hopped off the metal bar and landed on her feet. Slowly, she walked towards the owner of the proffered arm, seemingly hesitant still.
But Tori is patient: she knows how the other girl desperately needs someone to patiently wait for her. That said, the tanned girl is willing to be that person, even if it takes her a long time.
Even if that long time stretches out to forever, she'll wait.
Finally, the pale hand reached out and gently touched the tanned ones, admiring the ying-yang effect that the different skin colors offered. Smiling, the brown orbs looked into the blue-greys, and Tori's eyes softened when she saw a genuine smile slowly surfacing.
The faux-smile that comes with the false bravado is finally replaced with something real.
With a real expression comes with a real emotion. Looking closer, there's a lingering sadness behind those blue-grey eyes, yet it is somewhat dimmer than earlier.
For now.
It'll never be truly gone, and both girls knows it. Days, hours, minutes and seconds will pass by and both of them is aware that the pale girl may come back again to that metal bar. She'll be sitting with a pensive smile, contemplating the possibility of things that truly scared the other girl.
But it's going to be okay.
Days, hours, minutes, and seconds will pass by and Tori will also be back, standing beside the other girl with an offer of companionship. Even when Jade is alone in her own mind, a hand will reach out and touch hers as a slight reassurance that she's never truly alone.
And maybe, it'll be enough to reach out to her.
"You know, someday you'll get tired of me," Jade whispered, voice so low that Tori almost missed it. But she didn't, and as the tanned girl opened the door that'll lead to the staircase, she just shrugged.
"Maybe," she replied as they started walking down the stairs.
"Nothing is stopping you, you know," Jade continued. "So I suggest you quit me now."
The tanned girl just hummed in response before halting her steps, the other girl almost colliding in her. Confused, Jade looked at her and saw a lopsided grin.
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Tori playfully asked, tugging the pale hand that is still connected to her own.
Jade shrugged. "No... just stating the facts."
The tanned girl hummed, wondering if she could ask the pale girl what she'll actually feel if Tori left. But she already knew the answer, and so does Jade.
"Sorry, but you can't get rid of me that easily," Tori declared, walking ahead of her and pulling her along.
Jade furrowed her eyebrows. "Why?" she asked, genuinely confused.
"Because I love you, and I'm here to stay." Tori declared.
In her periphery, she saw a change in the pale girl's expression. The shifting is subtle, but Tori knows her well enough to read her face.
Tori knows that the other girl is grateful, though she constantly push people away. Jade just wanted someone to stay, and yet she's afraid of the dependency.
In the pale girl's clustered mind, it'll always lead to abandonment and inevitable disappointment.
In life, there'll be circumstances where your faith in the universe and humanity will be challenged. It'll be a difficult obstacle to conquer, and only by sheer determination and perseverance will you triumph.
And yet, there'll be those times when you don't have to do anything at all. It will not be your sword to wield, nor your battle to win.
You'll just be the coach, waiting in the sidelines and hoping that your trainee will emerge as the winner. You'll be the trained dog, guiding your blind man safely across the dangerous street. You'll be that relative, lover, or friend who'll stay beside that person who needed it.
It'll be frustrating because you can't fight their battles for them; it'll be tiring because it can be monotonous and repetitive; it can be annoying because things aren't happening the way you know it should be.
And it's okay.
Because sometimes, all you can offer is to stand beside them as they look into the sunset and sit at a metal bar. Sometimes, your presence in itself is comforting and secure that they know they'll never try to fall down. Sometimes, your reassurance that you'll stay is enough for them to hold your hand and smile.
And maybe, just maybe, you could save them by simply staying by their side.
-Fin-
Thanks for reading a piece of my journal.