Title: Loved In Death
Email: quixotical [at] gmail . com
Rating: R
Words: 340
Categories: Angst
Warning(s): PWP, mild sexual situations, abstract.
Summary: Hermione sees her ghosts and is willed away from the unexpected.
Notes: Inspired by Take Away the Pain by Shifty. Scroll down for more updates.
The ceiling is swimming -- a whirlpool of phantoms she remembers in her nightmares. She sees green and blue and black and red. She can see the colour of their eyes and their hair and can remember the calluses on their hands and their laughter (and so she sleeps) and there's no other way to forget (because they don't want her to.) Because they smile at her when she closes her eyes and they're calling out to her when her eyes are open.
And there is grey -- an emotionless pool of monochrome. There is nothing beyond those irises. Or maybe it's because she sees nothing at all. She's tortured and tired of seeing the eyes of the dead and she's learned to ignore them. Maybe it's the same for these grey eyes. Except she can feel all that goes around her but her attention (diverted) is elsewhere.
She wants death.
Wants to touch it.
Breathe it.
Live it.
And she is so willing to let go --
Of her past, her present, her future ...
... and the man above her --
-- of everything.
She feels.
Feels his lips brushing against her bare shoulder and moving lower. Feels his hands softly holding her waist, thumbs caressing her skin. Feels him part her legs, whispering words of naught --
'Look at me ... see me ...'
I don't see you is what she wants to say but the words won't come out. Her lips are moving but there's no sound.
'Feel me ... '
He's moving inside her and she can feel him but she can't feel him. She feels the movement but not the passion, the fire, the anger --
-- the way he's bruising her.
'Look at me!'
She sees green. And blue. And black and red. She sees nothing else.
How long has it been? (a day or two or three.)
Time's flown by even though her eyes are open --
Because she can't see.
She feels nothing.
Her eyes are closed.
They've always been closed.
take away the pain © vexia, 23 august 2004
Yeah, the story was fucked up if you understood it. It isn't really meant to be understood so if you're confused, then you're okay. Besides, it's 01:00 and insomnia tends to do this to you. That, and I vaguely realise that the following is almost as long as the story itself.
Here are some updates you might be interested in:
; Sunday Masquerade under the alias 'grandfilth' - Draco and Hermione
; Tired Eyes under the alias 'grandfilth' - Harry and Hermione
; Ghost In Her Shell under the alias 'undead poet' - Draco and Hermione
Update(s) here:
; Candid Camera - chapter one revised
I have countless other fics but you would have had to follow particular LJ communities to see what I posted. There are some that are posted on my site that a very select few know about and I will eventually release it to the public.
If you have any questions, just e-mail me. :)