Title: The Butterfly Effect
Author: Savage Midnight
Email: savage_midnight@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Pairings: Theresa/Ryan implied, Ryan/Marissa implied
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Title stolen from the movie of the same name.
Spoilers: This is set post The Shower, so I guess it includes a few vague spoilers for that episode.
Summary: There has to be chances in life. There has to be points when Fate takes over, when personal choice is taken away, because if we all got to choose, if we all got the chance to carve our own sense of perfection, it would inevitably destroy someone else's idea of it.
Authors Notes: Inspired by the movie, The Butterfly Effect (fantastic movie, by the way), and also by Theresa's confession of the way she dreamed of falling in love. To me, the idea seemed somewhat mythological, even spiritual, in nature. Originally this was written in first person, but I changed it because I thought the voice was wrong for Theresa's character. It was too formal, in my opinion. Also, this is based on the premise that Theresa is still staying with the Cohens' after the events of The Shower. Ryan and Marissa are still together and Theresa hasn't returned to Eddie.

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Theresa's divine sense of love has always been infinitely mythological in nature. Impossible, because she keeps it that way. Fantastical expectations sit at a distinct ninety degree angle from the norm, so really, she can't expect too much at all. Eddie loved her, but he could never meet her ideals of a perfect love, a perfect romance.

Since moving to Newport, her life has taken a bizarre twist and reality has started to take on a much more fantastical note. As screwed up as things are, the events of the last few months have panned out like some horrifying fairytale, but a fairytale nonetheless. To say that her childhood dreams of romance and soulmates were ones of pure, undeniable bliss would be a lie. Tragedy was a key factor, because real love, soul-searing love, could never truly be appreciated until it was tested and the heart was made to ache in contrast - pain against pleasure.

Seriously, though, she could do without the tragedy factor. She'd rather not love at all than have to sacrifice her home for the simple need of an eternal bond. It's not worth it, but she's at that place already, and she can't change things. She didn't really have a say in the matter, and she still doesn't.

Unrequited love is a bitch. It hurts, physically and in every other way. The thing is, in her fantasy, things always play out with a happy ending. Sure, they get twisted and fucked with, but Fate always prevails and in her book, Fate is on her side.

Except in real life, Fate doesn't choose sides. Fate just watches on the sidelines and appreciates her handy-work. I'm sure there's some irony in that. Fate playing mischief. Because then, if that's the case, it's not really fate, is it? It's not destined; it's just a game for an ageless Goddess to play, and depends solely on her choice of mood. That's not destiny. That's chance. Fate is chance. So really, destiny doesn't come into play here. Not at all.

It was chance that she met Eddie, but would that make it fate, too? And if so, would this idea of fate still hold the implications of a bigger plan? Or a destiny already carved without her knowledge? Because she doesn't like the idea of that. She doesn't like the thought that maybe all this happened for a reason. Maybe she was meant to end up here. Maybe she was meant to love Ryan. Maybe Fate had plans for her, delved into her fantastical delusions of romance and soulmates and decided to play. Decided to give her what she wanted because she longed for it so bad. Maybe Fate thought she was doing no wrong, that in the end Theresa would appreciate the sacrifices she had to make, but Theresa knew that this was no fair trade.

She'd give up this damning ache that she's dreamt about for so long if only she could turn back ninety degrees and return to the norm. She wants her reality to be real again because she's not sure she can cope with much more. Too much tragedy in the blood will surely poison a person to death, and she's dying slowly, emotionally, spiritually, with no amount of beauty or grace. The only thing real right now is her demise, her death, in every sense that matters.

There's no White Knight to save her. He has a Damsel far more beautiful than herself, far more fantastical than she could ever hope to be. Her flaws are her perfections and she's the Princess that the Knight will continue to love in the fairytales, no matter what may come between them. Broken girls with tragic pasts will not change the inevitable - that good will always prevail. And though the Princess may occasionally stray, she still remains undeniably innocent and wholesome. It's inevitable that the Knight fall in love with the Princess for eternity, no matter the broken girl that is forced to move on or look on with broken eyes. Because Fate maybe mischievous, but she knows that some games aren't always about chance and to leave the Damsel stranded would change the game and the players entirely, until the White Knight would no longer be a White Knight, because he would not have saved the Damsel in Distress. And the Damsel in Distress would not become the Princess without her Prince, and the broken girl may be victorious and she may finally win over the White Knight, her Prince Charming, but really, he would no longer be neither and it would no longer be a fairytale, because that wasn't the way things worked. You change one detail and you change everything. Things can never truly be perfect.

The Chaos Theory claims that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wings can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world*. There's a ring of truth to that, whether you're standing ninety degrees from the norm or directly on it. There has to be chances in life. There has to be points when Fate takes over, when personal choice is taken away, because if we all got to choose, if we all got the chance to carve our own sense of perfection, it would inevitably destroy someone else's idea of it. And the cycle would continue like so, and would never stop until imperfections were carved into the dreams of everyone. Then, the point would be moot.

Perfection can't exist.

Theresa can't take the White Knight away from his Damsel in Distress. A Princess without her Prince Charming is one less fairytale. And if things turned out like that, there would never be any fantasy in her life, and she needs that because it makes her who she is.

She's the broken girl who lives ninety degrees from the norm. She's the girl who longed for perfection, only to learn that fairytales really are best left where they are.

At least then she can still dream.

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*Quote lifted from the opening credits of The Butterfly Effect.