A/N As saw fit to delete my fic (glares) I am now reposting it with a higher rating. So there!

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7 or any of it's characters. I just ripped them apart, put it back in way that seemed to make sense, dressed it in fancy words that sounded good, and submitted it to this site, Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Into the Fray!

'Uhhh.....Jessie...?'

'Yeah, Cloud?'

'You're drooling over me again.'

'Oh shi-! Sorry Cloud! Duh!' She said, slapping herself in the forehead. Her eyes crossed for a moment then slid back into focus, only to stare, awestruck at her idol.

Sighing, Cloud wiped his arm free of saliva for what felt like the hundredth time. 'Don't worry about it. Could you stop staring at me like that?'

'Sure! Didn't even notice I was doing that! Duh!' She slapped herself again. This time she fell to the floor, unconscious.

Again, Cloud sighed. It was looking to be one of those days. He stood, and stepped over the now supine form of the hyperactive Jessie. The moment the halfwit had clapped eyes on him, she hadn't stopped following him, not missing an opportunity to stare at him breathless, or drool on his arm. Cloud was eternally thankful for the ten minutes or so of peace that followed when she slapped herself.

He approached the rotund figure of Wedge, and then decided at the last minute that he would rather not talk to him. The fat so-called freedom fighter was almost as bad as Jessie, always pouncing on him the moment he walked into a room. He wanted Cloud's opinion on everything, asking him to compare this weapon, or that materia.

Cloud couldn't see what Wedge could possibly want with materia, as he had the magical aptitude of a geriatric, drink sodden street performer. Cloud stopped just before he entered his sightline, but Wedge somehow managed to notice he was there.

'Oh hey there Cloud! I thought you were asleep! I meant to ask you, which d'ya thin-'

Cloud made sure no-one was looking before pinching Wedge's nerve cluster. He slumped to the floor, just as Jessie had done.

Cloud looked down, a bizarre mixture of empathy and revulsion crossing his face. He now walked to the only competent member of the group. His backed was turned and his shoulders seemed sagged. Thinking he was depressed, Cloud tried to find what was wrong.

'Hey Biggs, how's things?

'Cloud! How're ya yerself, y'bastad! hic' He launched himself onto Cloud leaning on him for support

'What the fu-' Then Cloud noticed the litre bottle of 'Mako Delight' empty at Biggs' feet.

'Lissen, Cloud...d'you know, yer my best mate, y'are Cloud.'

'Biggs, why the fuck are drinking before a mission!?'

'hic y'bastad ya! Bwarrrrfff!'

Cloud stepped back just in time to avoid the gush of foul smelling, fluorescent blue puke. Biggs however, no longer supported, had the misfortune of falling face-flat into his own vomit.

'Th'fuggin bitch left me!!!! I can't beli bowk believe 'er. I gav' 'er eyer'ing' He too fell unconscious.

The volatile leader of AVALANCHE chose that precise moment to walk in

'Aight foo's, lissen up, we got five minnits before we hit the station, so I want everyon rea-'

He caught sight of Cloud standing over the lifeless forms of his subordinates.

'WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THEM, YA DAMN SHINRA CRACKA!!!'

Barret raised his gun-arm

'Barret, fuck, wait, I can- eep!'

Cloud ducked under a volley of gunfire.

Two minutes, a shaken Cloud, and an appeased Barret later, all of AVALANCHE was awake. Jessie and Wedge were fine, though Wedge was still confused as to why Cloud decided that he needed to be out cold. There was nothing to be done for Biggs though. Barret said he should come on the mission anyway, because he happened to be a master of drunken boxing.

'Barret, could you review the mission? I'm sure readers who have no idea where this fic is starting would like to know what's happening.' Cloud said. He immediately wondered why.

Barret blinked at him. 'what you talking about, damn foo'. What the hell is a fic, and whadda you mean by readers?

Cloud blinked in turn, then shook his head. 'I....don't know....weird.'

'Crazy cracka' muttered Barret. 'Awright, the mission is to infiltrate and destroy the North Mako Reactor. Jessie has the bomb....'

She proudly produced a small box, 6' by 6'. It was stuffed with bangers, and had a small piece of paper poking from it's side. Cloud rolled his eyes.

'Damn fine piece a' work there Jessie!'

She beamed smugly.

'Awright, here's the team placement. Wedgie, you'll be guardin' our escape route.'

'Hey!!' came the protest

'SHU'UP FOO''

'yes sir' Wedge mumbled

'heeee, wedgie. Thassa goodun.' Came the inebriated voice of Biggs.

'Biggs you'll be supporting me an' spikeass here. Cloud you n' me'll plant the fucka on the regulator in the middle of that huge thang.'

'Okay'

'Jessie, you'll be opening all the doors. You'll be stickin' like glue to me and Cloud.'

Shit, thought Cloud.

'Yay!' said Jessie.

'Aight, is everyone clear?' The train ground to a halt. 'move yer friggin asses!' Came Barret's yell as he ran off the train, shooting anything that wasn't his team.