Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

This has probably been done before but I really do like the idea of Sam having to deal with the guilt of raising Lucifer.

The brothers sat in silence as Dean drove back to their motel. Dean focused on the road ahead he knew his words had hurt Sam but he didn't really care, Sam deserved it after what he had done.

Sam stared out of the window, watching the trees going by, silent tears rolled down his cheeks. Dean and Bobby's, when we was possessed, swirled around in his head, mixing with what Dean had also said in the voicemail.

I just don't think I can trust you.

You were reckless, and selfish and arrogant.

That kind of thing doesn't get forgiven boy!

Listen to me you blood-sucking freak, dad said I'd have to save you or kill you, well I'm giving you fair warning I'm done trying to save 're a monster Sam, a vampire, you're not you anymore and there's no going back.

Sam was brought out of his thoughts by the car suddenly stopping, he looked ahead and saw the motel. Dean slumped back in the seat "I'm going to find a bar." He mumbled, he saw Sam nod and get out of the car in the corner of his eyes.

Sam shuffled across the car park and up to their room's door, entering without looking back at the car. He shut the door behind him, his knees went weak causing him to stumble back and press his shoulders into the door staring into the empty room. Upon hearing the familiar and comforting rumble of the Impala descending into silence he finally let out a sob letting the tears stream down his face. The guilt and self-loathing was eating furiously at his heart, he caught his reflection in a mirror opposite him, he let out an angry scream and flew across the room slamming his right fist into the glass, he couldn't look at himself.

"How can you expect me to be able to look at you when you can't even do it yourself?" A angry voice boomed out behind him, he spun quickly to find Dean standing by the door.

"D-Dean I-I thought you were g-going to find a bar." Sam stuttered.

"Yeah well I changed my mind, I'm going to do what I should have done in the first." Dean scowled, his eyes were nothing but angry and hate.

"W-what?" Sam gulped fearing what Dean was going to do.

Dean pulled out a knife from inside his jacket and pointed it at Sam "do I really need to tell you. You're a monster Sam and I need to stop you!" Dean moved towards Sam.

Sam flinched back, flinging himself into the broken mirror behind him. The mirror crumbled, jagged pieces of glass dug into Sam's back, slicing into the skin like butter.

"Dean, please no." he pleaded, looking at Dean with teary puppy eyes.

"It's too late for apologizes don't you think Sam, you've ended the world!" Dean yelled.

"Yeah.." Sam muttered defeated, he looked down not wanting to look at the disappointed look on his brother's face. "Just do it Dean." Sam sobbed, he was starting to feel light-headed from blood loss in his back. He slid down the mirror to the floor, his knees were unable to hold him anymore, he could feel the glass digging further into his back.

He closed his eyes waiting for Dean to kill him, tears leaked from the corner of his eyes. He waited but nothing came, he opened his eyes a little only to find the room empty.

"De'nnnn?" He wasn't surprised how weak he sounded he could feel the blood soaking through his t-shirt and start to puddle around him.

He didn't get an answer. His eyelids started to feel heavy and soon he was unable to keep his eyes open. He slowly slid into the darkness.

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Meanwhile...

Dean sludged through the muddy car park towards the bar, the bar looked small and sleazy but he didn't care, all he wanted was a drink, or ten.

As he entered the bar he noticed he was probably the youngest man in there, the place was full of mid-aged men with greasy beards. He avoided eye contact as he moved through the crowd towards the counter, he didn't want any trouble.

He reached the bar and slumped awkwardly on top of one of the wobbly stools. His eyes met the bartenders, she was young and pretty she had long wavy brunette hair and big brown eyes. Her eyes met his green ones, she smiled and practically ran to him.

"Someone's eager to serve me!" Dean smiled.

"Yeah well you're the youngest person I've seen here in months."

"That so?" Dean's smile grew into a grin "looks like I'm getting lucky tonight." he thought.

"Yep, what can I get ya?" She asked.

"Anything! Name's Dean by the way."

"Nice to meet ya Dean, I'm Rachel. Anything? Rough day huh?" She reached her hand across to shake his.

"Yeah rough couple of years actually." Dean sighed.

Rachel took out two shot glasses and placed between her and Dean and reached to find anything she could find to pour into the glasses. "C'mon no one's life can suck that bad."

"Yeah you would think." Dean grabbed the glass as soon as Rachel filled it and gulped it down, he slammed it down on the counter and motioned for her to re-fill it.

Rachel downed hers and filled them up again "what about your family? Friends? Where are they?"

"Most of them are dead, my little brother he's back at our motel room. If I'm honest I'd prefer for him not to be there when I go back."

"Don't you two get on then?" She asked as she watched Dean take every shot she's put in front of him, which was starting to worry her.

"Yeah we used to be so close, I went away for a couple of months and then when I came back he was different."

"Different how?"

"I dunno, I guess just more independent."

"Isn't that a good thing?" She could see Dean had bottled this up for ages so she continued asking him questions.

"Yeah maybe, but he's made some big mistakes, BIG! I just wish I would've stopped him."

"Did you know that it was going to happen?"

"Yeah."

"Everyone makes mistakes Dean and let me tell you, your brother is feeling 10 million times worse than you are right now."

"Yeah how do you know that?"

"Cause I've done the same, I've some mistakes none of them that I am proud of."

"What happened?" Dean asked

"I ended up here. In some sleazy bar, I haven't spoken to my family in years. Things just got worse and worse, I even.." Tears started appearing in her eyes.

"What?" Dean asked gently noticing how much whatever it was that Rachel did was effecting her.

"Tried to kill myself." Rachel finished, tears started dripping down her cheeks. Dean gasped, he didn't know what to say. "What if Sam is feeling the same way?" He asked himself.

"I'm sorry." Dean grumbled.

"No, no it's okay. Just don't be too hard on your brother or you'll lose him." Dean gulped knowing she was probably right.

"I sorry but I have to go, I need to go check if he's okay." Dean stood and moved fast through back through the crowd towards the door. He ran to his car he knew he shouldn't drive but he had to get back to Sam, he just hoped he wasn't too late.

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Dean jumped out of the car and ran to his and Sam's room. He spent a minute trying to get the key in the door but then flung the door open to see Sam sitting in a puddle of his own blood and glass from the mirror he was leaning on, a trail of blood led from the top to Sam head that was rolled back onto his shoulder.

"Oh my god! SAMMY!" Dean yelled and ran to his brother's side. He knelt down next to Sam not caring if he was standing in the pool of dark red liquid.

"Sammy?" Dean choked out reaching to touch Sam's face. He gently cupped Sam's with one hand and turned his head to face Dean, his breath hitched as he noticed how pale and cold Sam looked and felt. He shakily reached out with his other hand and put two fingers to Sam's neck to feel for a pulse, he was relieved to find a pulse but was still weak and unsteady.

"Sam, hey! Can you open your eyes for me please? Sammy?" Dean pleaded, he turned Sam's head further to see if he had hit his head, upon finding no bumps on his head he figured that it the blood was coming from Sam's back.

He gripped Sam's shoulder with one arm and his legs with the other, he pulled legs to the side so he can tip Sam over onto his stomach. He gasped when he saw the bloody mess of Sam's back, he felt like he was going to be sick and even more so when he saw broken glass protruding from the many wounds that covered his back.

"Oh god.. Sammy what happened?" He whispered hoping he would get an answer, he was only rewarded with silence.

Dean's breath quickened as he started to panic, he didn't know what to do, should he patch Sam up himself or should he call an ambulance. He lifted Sam up and turned him over so that he was resting against him. Sam's shoulder dug into his chest, it made him feel uncomfortable but it didn't matter, he had a little brother to comfort.

"Sammy, can you hear me? You need to wake up Sam, you can't leave me! I know that the things I said must have hurt but I still need you." He babbled as he stroked a trembling hand through Sam's hair.

Noticing how much his hands were shaking, he knew he wouldn't be able patch Sam up when he like this. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed 9-9-1.

"Hello, how can w-" A woman's voice came from the phone but was interrupted by Dean.

"Hi, my brother, he's bleeding pretty bad, I need an ambulance!" Dean shouted down the phone.

"Sir, calm down, can you tell me where you are?"

"Umm, the Black Cat motel room 241, please hurry!"

"Okay sir, what is his current condition?"

"H-he's unconscious, he's lost a lot of blood!" Dean was beyond worried, he couldn't help but feel guilty, "if I had stayed here none of it would've happened." He cursed himself in his mind.

"Sir, you need to try wake him up okay? The ambulance is on it's way."

"O-okay." Dean stuttered before dropping the phone on the floor and turned his attention back on Sam.

"Sammy. Sam! C'mon man wake up! SAM!" He shook Sam lightly.

Sam moaned and rolled his head back and forth on Dean's arm.

"That's it Sammy, you're doing good kiddo, just open them eyes." Dean encouraged.

"D'n?" Sam mumbled opening his eyes a little.

"Yeah Sam it's me, I'm here okay? It's going to be alright. Your back isn't that bad alright you've just lost some blood." Dean stroked Sam's hair again wanting to keep the contact between them. The next words out of Sam's words shocked Dean to the core.

"P-please d-don't kill me Dean, please don't." Sam pleaded looking up at Dean, he well and truly looked like a kicked puppy.

Dean opened his mouth but nothing came out "why would Sam like I want to kill him?" He asked himself.

"Sammy-" Dean started but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Sir? Hello, it's the paramedics."

"IN HERE!" Dean yelled causing Sam to flinch in his arms.

The paramedics came bursting into the room and ran to the brothers.

"Sir I need you to step back and let us take care of him." One of the paramedics said pulling Sam from Dean's arms. Dean let go of Sam and fell back into a sitting position, he could only watch as they loaded Sam onto a gurney on his side so they wouldn't cause the glass to go deeper.

Within seconds they had Sam ready to go and started steering the gurney out of the door. Dean scrambled up onto his feet and sprinted after them.

He climbed into the ambulance with them, shooting angry glances at anyone of them who tried to keep him from his brother's side.

The paramedics had placed him so that he was facing them. Dean reached over and grabbed Sam's hand trying to comfort him. Sam's eyes fell shut as the darkness claimed him once more.

Let me know what you think guys. Please review.