Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy or any of the characters.
Just want you to know so you can't sew me. (o;o)
Final Fantasy VII & IX
FF 7 and 9 Deathmatch!
By: Zidane0006
Announcers: Locke(ff6) and Squall(ff8)
Locke: WELCOME everyone to FF Deathmatch, Where you'll
see some of the most gruesome fights ever!
Squall: damn I need some beer…
Locke: umm Ok.. Here I got some Budweiser™, just don't
drink too many. Ok?
Squall: *gurgle *burp eh this shit pretty goo
Locke: umm ok well the first match is between Barret(ff7) vs
Steiner(ff9)
Barret: YO Chunky Im gonna open up a can of wupass on yo
ass; piece of rusty dog shit!
Steiner: CRETIN, I will Jam my Blade straight up your ass
and will poke it out of your groin!
Barret: Damn this shit lets hurry up and fight so I can kick
jackass' ass!
Locke: FIGHT!!!
Barret was fierce and used his gun arm but it was out of ammo
from fighting sephiroth so he had to fight with fists. Steiner
tried cutting at him a couple of times but barret blocked with
his stainless steel arm gun.
Barret suddenly got a good punch in there with the gun so
steiner had blood running down his face. BUT THEN HE
TURNS TRANCE!!!!! Steiner gets up having his sword in
hand cuts off barrets arm while barrets pissing his pants.
Steiner reminded barret of the promise he made about killing
him (jam his blade up his ass and come out the other side!) So
now steiner did exactly what he promised and then barrets ass
was spurting blood everywhere.
Steiner: HAHA I am victorious! Damn it miscreant you got
crap all over my blade!
Locke: HAHA well looks like the blade sure paid barrets ass a
visit. Right Squall!
Squall: *knocked unconscious from too much alcohol
Locke: well uhh I guess I wait until he regains conciousness.
Until then we have another exciting match. Yuffie vs Freya!!!!
Yuffie: hey, you know I hate guys but I love girls!
Freya: Well your not getting your hands on me you lesbian!
Yuffie: damnit I like you but I don't wanna fight.
Freya: hehe good the win is mine…
Locke:FighT!!!
Yuffie wanted Freya really bad so she grabbed freya's chest
and felt no tits! Yuffie was so pissed she thought freya was a
man because she was flat chested. Freya took her spear and got
a good jab in the leg. Yuffie didn't care because she was too
overwhelmed in anger about the whole Freya=guy thing that
she kicked Freya up the ass 200 times. Freyas ass hurt a lot.
Her tail bone was broken. Standing in pain Freya threw her
spear right at Yuffies face but missed. Yuffie Threw the spear
back at Freya and impaled her in the head then she jammed
her gigantic throwing star through Freyas chest. Blood was
spilling and splattering all over. Then Yuffie as if impaling
Freya 2 times wasn't enough she threw Freyas corpse in the
Garbage disposal and grinded her up.
Yuffie: NO MAN EVER FUCKS WITH ME!
Locke: well we wont tell Yuffie Freya was a girl but anyways
lets look at the score board : FF7=1 point FF8= 1 Point. So far
itsa tie. What do ya think Squall is this exciting or What?
Squall: gjahhhhjhag ah damn where the hell am I. My head
hurts real fucking bad and I feel dizzy.
Locke: WOW Squall is actually alive. I thought he was dead
from alcohol overdose.
Locke: Well this sure has been an exciting night! For The next
fight we bring you…!
Caitsith vs Quina Quen!
Caitsith: ……………..
Quina: Me gonna lick your ass inside out!
Caitsith: ……………….
Caithsith just standing there doing nothing but playing that
irritating horn. Quina was so sick of hearing that piece of shit,
she had to think of a way to make him shut up. She thought
about her abilities for a sec. She was gonna eat caitsith so he
couldn't play the piece of shit anymore. she grabbed that horn
shoved it up caitsith's ass then caitsith was playing the horn
through his ass. He was playing loud farts. Now Quina was so
pissed she devoured him whole and then while caitsith was in
stomach acid burning he recognized a bunch of frogs. After
eating a huge cat and moogle Quina had the biggest case of
dieharia in months. She sat on the toilet with her ass since it
was so big, suctioning on the seat crapped out corpses and a
horn. It was the worst smelling crap ever. To get rid of the
smell Quina had to eat her crap. It was also the worst tasting
crap Quina had ever tasted.
Quina: Worst tasting crap in years.
Locke: DAMN THAT WAS DIGUSTING. But anyways looks
like the smell went away eh Squall.
Squall:……………….whatever
Locke: the next match is between Cid and Vivi!
Cid: HAHHAA why the hell am I fighting a little kid.
Vivi: *looking sad
Squall: FIGHT…. Er somthin
Cid asked vivi if he wanted a beer. Vivi replied "no" . Cid
thought Vivi was really pathetic and called him a list of names
such as ASSWIPE PIECE OF SHIT DONKEYRAPING SHIT
EATER BLACKMAGE PIECE OF CRAP ASS MASTER
PUNKASS SHIT HEAD MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He hurt Vivi's feelings so Vivi torched his ass and used
blizzard on his penis. Now cid had frostbite on his dick and hi
ass was a roaring flame. Then Vivi sent a shock of lightning
down to cids nipples until they popped off. Cid was in so much
pain. Then Vivi's magic wore off. Vivi then torched his dick
send a jolt of thunder to his ballsack till they popped out of
their sack. He froze his ass. Now Cid wanted to kill himself
because he lost his balls, his dick was burnt to a crisp, and his
ass had frost bite. He Jammed his spear straight up his own
ass. Cid was gushing blood everywhere.
Vivi: don't ever make fun of me if you know what's good for
you.
Locke: damn! Remind me never to make fun of him. You too
squall.
Squall: ……umm ok.
Locke: When We come back we'll have Garnet vs Tifa Zidane
vs Cloud vincent vs amarant red 13 vs Eiko!
Just want you to know so you can't sew me. (o;o)
Final Fantasy VII & IX
FF 7 and 9 Deathmatch!
By: Zidane0006
Announcers: Locke(ff6) and Squall(ff8)
Locke: WELCOME everyone to FF Deathmatch, Where you'll
see some of the most gruesome fights ever!
Squall: damn I need some beer…
Locke: umm Ok.. Here I got some Budweiser™, just don't
drink too many. Ok?
Squall: *gurgle *burp eh this shit pretty goo
Locke: umm ok well the first match is between Barret(ff7) vs
Steiner(ff9)
Barret: YO Chunky Im gonna open up a can of wupass on yo
ass; piece of rusty dog shit!
Steiner: CRETIN, I will Jam my Blade straight up your ass
and will poke it out of your groin!
Barret: Damn this shit lets hurry up and fight so I can kick
jackass' ass!
Locke: FIGHT!!!
Barret was fierce and used his gun arm but it was out of ammo
from fighting sephiroth so he had to fight with fists. Steiner
tried cutting at him a couple of times but barret blocked with
his stainless steel arm gun.
Barret suddenly got a good punch in there with the gun so
steiner had blood running down his face. BUT THEN HE
TURNS TRANCE!!!!! Steiner gets up having his sword in
hand cuts off barrets arm while barrets pissing his pants.
Steiner reminded barret of the promise he made about killing
him (jam his blade up his ass and come out the other side!) So
now steiner did exactly what he promised and then barrets ass
was spurting blood everywhere.
Steiner: HAHA I am victorious! Damn it miscreant you got
crap all over my blade!
Locke: HAHA well looks like the blade sure paid barrets ass a
visit. Right Squall!
Squall: *knocked unconscious from too much alcohol
Locke: well uhh I guess I wait until he regains conciousness.
Until then we have another exciting match. Yuffie vs Freya!!!!
Yuffie: hey, you know I hate guys but I love girls!
Freya: Well your not getting your hands on me you lesbian!
Yuffie: damnit I like you but I don't wanna fight.
Freya: hehe good the win is mine…
Locke:FighT!!!
Yuffie wanted Freya really bad so she grabbed freya's chest
and felt no tits! Yuffie was so pissed she thought freya was a
man because she was flat chested. Freya took her spear and got
a good jab in the leg. Yuffie didn't care because she was too
overwhelmed in anger about the whole Freya=guy thing that
she kicked Freya up the ass 200 times. Freyas ass hurt a lot.
Her tail bone was broken. Standing in pain Freya threw her
spear right at Yuffies face but missed. Yuffie Threw the spear
back at Freya and impaled her in the head then she jammed
her gigantic throwing star through Freyas chest. Blood was
spilling and splattering all over. Then Yuffie as if impaling
Freya 2 times wasn't enough she threw Freyas corpse in the
Garbage disposal and grinded her up.
Yuffie: NO MAN EVER FUCKS WITH ME!
Locke: well we wont tell Yuffie Freya was a girl but anyways
lets look at the score board : FF7=1 point FF8= 1 Point. So far
itsa tie. What do ya think Squall is this exciting or What?
Squall: gjahhhhjhag ah damn where the hell am I. My head
hurts real fucking bad and I feel dizzy.
Locke: WOW Squall is actually alive. I thought he was dead
from alcohol overdose.
Locke: Well this sure has been an exciting night! For The next
fight we bring you…!
Caitsith vs Quina Quen!
Caitsith: ……………..
Quina: Me gonna lick your ass inside out!
Caitsith: ……………….
Caithsith just standing there doing nothing but playing that
irritating horn. Quina was so sick of hearing that piece of shit,
she had to think of a way to make him shut up. She thought
about her abilities for a sec. She was gonna eat caitsith so he
couldn't play the piece of shit anymore. she grabbed that horn
shoved it up caitsith's ass then caitsith was playing the horn
through his ass. He was playing loud farts. Now Quina was so
pissed she devoured him whole and then while caitsith was in
stomach acid burning he recognized a bunch of frogs. After
eating a huge cat and moogle Quina had the biggest case of
dieharia in months. She sat on the toilet with her ass since it
was so big, suctioning on the seat crapped out corpses and a
horn. It was the worst smelling crap ever. To get rid of the
smell Quina had to eat her crap. It was also the worst tasting
crap Quina had ever tasted.
Quina: Worst tasting crap in years.
Locke: DAMN THAT WAS DIGUSTING. But anyways looks
like the smell went away eh Squall.
Squall:……………….whatever
Locke: the next match is between Cid and Vivi!
Cid: HAHHAA why the hell am I fighting a little kid.
Vivi: *looking sad
Squall: FIGHT…. Er somthin
Cid asked vivi if he wanted a beer. Vivi replied "no" . Cid
thought Vivi was really pathetic and called him a list of names
such as ASSWIPE PIECE OF SHIT DONKEYRAPING SHIT
EATER BLACKMAGE PIECE OF CRAP ASS MASTER
PUNKASS SHIT HEAD MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He hurt Vivi's feelings so Vivi torched his ass and used
blizzard on his penis. Now cid had frostbite on his dick and hi
ass was a roaring flame. Then Vivi sent a shock of lightning
down to cids nipples until they popped off. Cid was in so much
pain. Then Vivi's magic wore off. Vivi then torched his dick
send a jolt of thunder to his ballsack till they popped out of
their sack. He froze his ass. Now Cid wanted to kill himself
because he lost his balls, his dick was burnt to a crisp, and his
ass had frost bite. He Jammed his spear straight up his own
ass. Cid was gushing blood everywhere.
Vivi: don't ever make fun of me if you know what's good for
you.
Locke: damn! Remind me never to make fun of him. You too
squall.
Squall: ……umm ok.
Locke: When We come back we'll have Garnet vs Tifa Zidane
vs Cloud vincent vs amarant red 13 vs Eiko!