This fan fic was something that I've been thinking of a while back. So, I researched on some stuff on the internet just in case someone thought about it. Lo and behold, I found Sariniste's Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors and it was the bomb! Sooo, this is my take on her fan fic about how the Narutoverse would react if they read fan fics written by us. XD (I already wrote to her that I would be adapting her fan fic, so I have permission, ladies and gents!)
If you want to check out Sariniste's work, here's a link: www . fanfiction s / 8300491 / 1 / Dear – Bleach – Fanfiction - Authors (warning: it's deathly amusing. Just remove the spaces.)
From Naruto to You
Rated T
(Because I might use a lot of foul language depending on my mood.)
Chapter 1
Uzumaki Naruto
Dear Naruto fan fiction writers,
A couple of months ago, Ero-sennin told me about this new 'thing' that people are obsessed about. He says that it made good research material for his next book because he didn't have to go to bathhouses just to see naked women. He says that it's called the 'Internet' and it's found inside this box thingy that people seem to spend most of their time in.
I never took the time to explore the 'Internet' because I'm so busy with saving the world and I just finished defeating Madara and putting the Gedo statue in my backyard as a war trophy. But, I suddenly missed Ero-sennin and I finally opened this letter he left me just before he died. In it were some words that would direct me to a place where I would be enlightened, he said. He also said that he has tons of memorabilia there for me.
And I found this place.
The first thought that entered my mind was 'what the f***'. At first, I thought that this was some sort of sick, practical joke by Ero-sennin where he sent me to a place where there are hundreds of thousands of perverts who enjoy writing about my nakama and even my enemies. I also thought that this was another way for him to spread the Icha Icha series to many people. But I guess I was wrong.
So, I kinda moved on from my initial shock and read some of the works. They're under so many names that I don't know if they're all Ero-sennin or if he trained a disciple in perverted writing. I guess he can take other students who're not interested in being a shinobi.
But I finally figured out that these were written by tons of different people who fantasize about me getting all the girls that I know. And because of that, I have a lot of questions and I think I need to write them to you.
First of all, why do you always write me as an idiot?! I mean, the number of times I've been called a 'baka', 'dobe' or whatever maybe amounts to a million times! I'm not a BAKA! I'll prove it to you someday when I become Hokage and I'll burn all of those stories you've written about me being a BAKA! Let's see who's a BAKA now! You're all BAKA! BAKA, BAKA, BAKA!
And why did I read some stuff about me being all Sasuke and broody and bitchy?! I know I'm cool but there are some stories where I'm written like a Sasuke clone! I'm actually proud that I achieved my power through hard work and not because some mysterious shinobi found me and blessed me with god-like powers! I know I'm the Fourth Hokage's son but I really didn't know that and it took me a while to become this powerful! I didn't come out of my mother knowing how to throw multiple Rasengans!
There are also some of you who wrote that I actually turned evil, joined the Akatsuki, or threatened to destroy Konoha! Excuse me! No matter how much the citizens of my village wanted me dead and no matter how much the shinobi sickeningly put everything on my shoulders as if they had no powers of their own, I would die first before I lay a finger against my village! I want to become Hokage, for kami's sake! I don't want to go all Orochimaru just because I have a tragic past!
And then there's this thing about me and Sasuke! I literally wanted to burn my eyes out when I read that there are actually 820 stories featuring me and that teme as a "pairing"! What the hell is wrong with you people?! Just because I accidentally crashed into him and our lips touched *gag* *gag* *gag*, doesn't mean that you have to picture him and me doing… YUCK! I can't even say it! And just because I want to rescue him, doesn't mean we're 'together'! Are you all that stupid?! I care about him AS A FRIEND! Like any friend, even you would die and go all desperate if your friend left you! Right? RIGHT?! You guys are so fucking twisted I can't even say it! Delete them! DELETE THEM NOW!
Ugh! I'm getting hungry! The only thing you got right is my love for ramen! Now I want to go to Ichiraku's! But I'll think up of something more once I get back to you!
AND I DON'T ALWAYS SAY DATTEBAYO!
P.S. I can't believe Ero-sennin actually let me read this stuff! Did he honestly think that I'm gay?! I'm NOT gay! Just because most of my friends are male and there're only a few girls that I have to settle for someone who beats me up any chance she gets doesn't mean I'll choose guys!
- Uzumaki Naruto
So there! This is not yet over! And you can give me suggestions on what to write if you've observed some patterns in the Naruto fan fiction universe. Just feel free to drop your 'additions'.
And don't get offended if you read something you don't like! This is all humor! If you don't like it, don't read it!