"Dude what's wrong with you?" Skwisgaar asked, he knelt down in front of the couch where Toki sat curled up with his legs pulled against himself.

He'd been like that from the second he saw his parents and even a week after they had left. Everybody agreed to not talk about it or talk to him about it, but they weren't around right now and Skwisgaar was mildly worried.

"Hey Tokis I'm talking to you."

The younger man managed to meet his eyes, but it was more so like he was looking through him for a moment before he came back to reality.

"Nothings wrong with me."

"Finally, yeah it is. You've been fucking weird ever since your parents were here."

"No I haven't, I'm fine"

He tried to make himself relax to prove his point, but he couldn't get himself to do much other than continue sitting there like he was hiding from something nobody else could see.

"Stop lying it's getting dumb, what's up with you?"

"I don't like them, okay, or they don't like me."

"Who does like their parents, I can't stand my mom."

The younger man shook his head.

"No it isn't like you guys with your parents. It's different; I'm a mistake, I wasn't supposed to happen."

Skwisgaar rolled his eyes at the dramatic remark; he really couldn't understand what the rhythm guitarist was being so weird about.

"My mom says the same thing about me every time we talk, you aren't special Toki." He responded smirking at the younger man.

Toki glared at him, "It isn't funny, it isn't like that. My dad said I'm a bad omen, I'm not normal."

"That's not news, you aren't really normal."

Not like he was extremely abnormal either, he was just sort of panic prone and annoyingly childish, but other than that he seemed relatively fine. Skwisgaar still couldn't get why he was being so odd all of the sudden.

"Just forget it, why are you even asking me anyway?"

"I'm worried, okay?"

"Worried" He repeated slowly

"Yeah I can do that, just tell me what's going on. Are you scared of them or something?"

Toki shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah"

He couldn't bring himself to meet the older man's eyes, he was remembering things again. He'd been remembering things for weeks now and he couldn't stop it. He just kept on waiting for something terrible to happen to him or anybody else.

"What did they do to you?"

Skwisgaar was curious and concerned, even if they all agreed to not be concerned. Nobody was home though so he was allowed to break that rule, besides he really didn't enjoy seeing his band mate like this.

"They didn't want me, I'm some sort of curse; they always told me that. Told me I'm some kind of...I just bring death wherever I go, I'm bad; they always tell me that. I'm just meant to kill or bring death, that's it."

"You don't believe that, right?"

He wanted to laugh, it sounded so stupid, but Toki looked scared.

"I don't know, maybe. I've heard it since I was little, they punished me a lot."

He already didn't like where any of this was going, it made him uncomfortable. Skwisgaar placed a hand on the younger man's knee, he felt him tense then relax under his touch. He looked at him giving a small smile.

"Dad used to whip me and when I fucked up really bad I'd go to the punishment hole."

"What's that?"

"A place they put me when they really didn't want me around or when I messed up really badly. I'd crawl down into this really deep hole, like it just never seemed to end. I'd stay there no food or anything for however long. Sometimes when they let me out they'd take me to the basement, chain me up, and beat me."

Skwisgaar felt pissed off at this point; he tried to hold it back and not let it show, but he was apparently failing, because Toki was looking at him curiously.

"Why would they do that to you?"

"I'd screw up my chores or just because of anything. They said I'm a death bringer and they wanted to keep me away from the world. Maybe hoped I'd die. Sometimes I wanted to."

"Holy fuck, I can't believe they did that to you. You know you didn't deserve that, right?"

"I guess"

Skwisgaar placed a hand on his cheek, "You didn't deserve it, you were just a kid. Shit nobody fucking deserves that."

Toki leaned into his touch, it was nice, and warm. He'd felt cold ever since seeing his parents again, like everything had just been drained completely from him.

"They're shit people who did a fucking terrible thing to you. You aren't a curse, you're you; annoying as fuck, but that's it."

"Thank you"

"Don't, it's no big deal. Just don't tell the others I showed fucking concern, alright?"

"Yeah okay Skwis"

This time he managed to make his body relax more. Skwisgaar sat down next to him, Toki leaned against his side wanting to get as close to the Swedish guitarist as he could without crossing an unseen line.