Halloween month, and I bring you a treat by mixing this with "The Haunted Mansion" (the fantastic Disney comedy fantasy starring Eddie Murphy) - and this time with the Uzumaki family in place of the lead character and his family. :D Naruto and his wife and kids travel to America where they discover the mansion they wish to sell is HAUNTED, and that's when the fun and trouble begins. That movie is so funny that I saw some connections to the family as well as who may replace the so-called main antagonist...

This story contains frightening images, suggestive elements and the likes, but nothing to deserve a mature rating.

Disclaimer: neither Naruto or The Haunted Mansion belong to me.

Chapter One

Real Estate and Family Adventures

"It's love, isn't it? Sometimes, you just take one look around in the house you walk in...and you know it's the one. Just like love at first sight," Naruto Uzumaki said to his latest customers, being the sixth in a line this month. He had been on such a roll that it wasn't even funny, and he was super proud if he said so himself.

This house within Konoha was one of the newest in the Byakugan Real Estate owned for generations by the Hyuuga family, and now it was run by him and his wife who was a member of that same big family which had been one of many as a ninja clan in the olden days. Every family in Konoha had ancient history connected to each other one way or another, but that was another story entirely. Naruto Uzumaki was one of the lesser known, but his mother's side as well as his father's were always known to work their asses off to the top. There were others in his hometown who had done the same, in their own way as to not mimic others - not too much, anyway.

His wife, Hinata, was the firstborn daughter but kind and gentle. Her late father, Hiashi, had considered putting her cousin Neji in her place, but Naruto showed that old man wrong by marrying his daughter and also proving his worth to the real estate. His parents had died the day he was born, so he was an orphan taken into the prestigious Hyuugas. Hiashi was a strict man and expected nothing but the best, so there had been times he frowned at young Naruto's hyperactive antics which rivaled Neji, his nephew. But the secondary Hyuuga turned out to be a good friend, somehow. The guy was aloof, like his best friend Sasuke Uchiha, and a genius. He was Naruto's partner and equal.

Back to the present. He was selling this newly modeled, vast structure with the spiraling staircase to Karin, his cousin on his mother's side, and her husband Suigetsu Hozuki, a toothy librarian originally from Kiri. She'd gone on a nursing scholarship because their hospital needed more hands, but sometimes Naruto wondered what she saw in the annoying guy. "I love it," she said with a romantic sigh as she looked around at the bright white, the fantastic wood beams and the space enough for them to start a family of their own.

But Suigetsu wasn't sold. "There aren't enough plugs," he grumbled. He was picky and choosy, and he wanted a place to put up his sword collection as well as to set up his study.

"You know, Suigetsu, that other place we looked at was positively loaded with plugs," Naruto said, remembering the other property down the street which had what his client and cousin-in-law wanted, though it had too high steps, Suigetsu pointed out, which was internally pushing not only Naruto's limits, but also Karin's.

"Suigetsu, you idiot, every house we look at since you agreed to move here with me, you find something to pick on."

"I just know what I like, Karin," he returned.

She raised her hand so to announce. "Would you like a divorce then? I'll be happy to bring it." Now, that would be a good idea, but what the hell, cousin? Divorcing over a little issue like finding the perfect dream home? Not on my watch.

Naruto clapped his hands. "Hey, hey, you guys, no need for that. I'm going to find you your dream home, and I'm totally committed. As our saying goes: 'we see in three hundred and sixty degrees, and always know to lead you the right way to your ideal home!' And we don't care how long it takes." He gave them his signature grin which beamed brighter than the sun. The mentioned motto had been created because the Hyuuga eye was said to be much sharper than the average human being, and the Uchihas came in second; Sasuke's family oversaw the police department. And as said, no matter how long it took, the results were flawless.

His cell phone rang. "Excuse me," he said to the couple, "I got to take this." It was none other than his loving wife of sixteen years. He stepped away by a few feet and lowered his voice a bit. "Hello, Byakugan Real Estate. Naruto Uzumaki."

"How is it, honey?" she asked happily. "Do they like the house?"

He looked nervously at his cousin and her husband when he nervously answered. "Uh...the house is still available," he said, masquerading the call as another buyer looking for the home. Both Karin and Suigetsu looked stunned before turning onto each other. His redheaded cousin's temper ran in the female side of the family.

Hinata sighed. "I knew it. It's like your cousin and that tooth-faced hubby of hers to be lookie." More like Suigetsu more than Karin. She already knows what she wants while he's very picky. "Naruto-kun, I'm already on my way home to get ready for dinner. Reservations are at seven PM."

It was only five, so time was getting short. After these two, he had one more house to sell. It was none other than Ino and Sai Yamanaka, the former being Sakura's best friend. And Sakura Haruno was his other most best friend, head doctor at the hospital and married to Sasuke with a beautiful daughter who was the same age as his son; she was also Boruto's best friend. "Seven is perfect," he answered, "so we'll get together and go over your offer then." This trick always worked when couples who couldn't agree on a house were forced when all other options failed. But nobody needed to know that; it was Naruto Uzumaki's secret technique. He smirked, back turned, when he heard Karin whack her husband on the shoulder and hissed at what he'd done. But it wouldn't be long before they would agree to take this house. Poor Suigetsu would end up compromising just to make his wife happy.

"Seven sharp and do NOT be late." He cringed to himself. Hinata could be sweet and loving, but she could also be hard as steel. He just hoped he could get there on time once he was done filling the final paperwork with these two and then Sai and Ino, since they wanted a better home for themselves and their son...

~o~

Sixteen years - just how time goes by, huh?

Hinata Uzumaki turned herself at every angle to examine herself one more time in the dress which graced her every curve. It was royal blue, long-sleeved and had a plunging neckline. She had long ago cut her hair to reach her ears, but it was short enough to show off the earrings she first wore on her wedding day to the man she was waiting for. They were crystal drops on encrusted leaves. And finally, the necklace she always wore which was shaped like a leaf and shimmering abalone, which was a jewel of the sea. It had been her mother's before she died.

The kids were in their rooms, and Boruto would be stuck watching his sister tonight. The boy was fifteen and going through a phase, kind of like his father, but Naruto wasn't as bad as going far to say that his father was never around. Her husband never knew his parents, so their son should be grateful he HAD a dad in his life. Hinata didn't hate her own child for that, but it broke her heart the way this did.

And sometimes, deep down - even if she knew that her family's business was important to so many people in Konoha - she wished Naruto was home around his family more often. Tonight was their anniversary, and if he was late and missed reservations made at Shūnen, the retreat for every couple, then she would put her foot down.

She smiled at the ring around her finger - the golden band set with a brilliantly cut tanzanite sided with small whites in clusters - and remembered the day he proposed to her at Ichiraku's of all places, which was their favorite place anytime. It was just a month after her father died. Hiashi loved Naruto like his own son, but he'd passed away from cancer of the heart and therefore never got to walk her to her man. Neji did that, and her sister Hanabi was her maid of honor.

The day had taken place on Konoha Beach, with everyone they knew from childhood watching. It wasn't grand in budget, but the emotions present were more important. Hinata would never change a thing; what made it better was that it was a double affair. Sasuke and Sakura shared their wedding day with her and Naruto.

Hinata wiped the tear that streaked down her cheek as she picked up the photograph on the bedside table. Here she was in the sleeveless dress which was nearly sheer - but covered her assets well - and reached her knees. The bold lace was a damask pattern. Sakura's gown touched the sand, blushing darkly and covered all over with three-dimensional blossoms; sparkling at her neck was a shimmering crystal collar. Both their husbands were in white collared shirts and khaki shorts reaching their knees, and all barefoot in the sand. It had been right after they graduated college.

However, Naruto may have gotten too much into her family's business to prove himself capable that he'd let it spill into his personal life. She'd put up with it for the longest time.

"Mom!" Boruto stood there in the doorway, whistling at the sight of her. "Dad is going to fall head over his heels literally when he sees you." Hinata laughed shyly at her son's comment, but then she saw the time: six-fifty PM.

Naruto is going to be late.

With a sharp sigh, she shook her head and left the bedroom to wait downstairs in the living room. Himawari was in her room doing whatever she did best. Why was Hinata not surprised that her husband had missed something fun, important and meaningful - AGAIN? Boruto noticed this and pointed out the obvious. "Old man leaving you hanging just like he did to all of us."

"Boruto," she said sharply, gracefully sitting down on the sofa to watch television for awhile, "that's your father you are still talking about. He's late, but he'll be here." At the same time, the doorbell rang. There could be only one person...

Greeting her at the door was the silhouette of her husband, but he held in front of her a cute little stuffed brown bear tied with a white ribbon in the front, cradling a bouquet of spectacular lavender roses and baby's breath. "Hi, Hinata," he spoke behind the fluffy creature, "my name's Tedībea. Your husband said to tell you he loves you very much but sometimes loses track of the time." On par, Naruto's face popped out from behind and awkwardly grinned. "I'm sorry I'm late. Happy anniversary. Wow, sixteen years, huh?"

"Yes, happy anniversary," Hinata answered, trying to conceal her disappointment in him once again. For the time being, he didn't notice. Then he looked down and gasped at whatever was there - and wrapped around Teddy's left wrist was a watch with a band of white leather and a face of rose-gold sparkling with crystals.

"Hina-koi, look at what he brought you! Isn't it pretty?" He was still gushing when he fastened it around her wrist. It truly was simple and stunning, and tastefully slender rather than big and bulky. "You know you have a wonderful husband who thinks of you like this on your anniversary." He leaned in and kissed her before turning to close and lock the door behind him.

She didn't want to ruin the good mood. So many years of happiness, but right now, she was tired of dealing with this. "What kept you late?" His smile was gone then and there.

"Just that I was approached after the final house sold to Ino and Sai, and this time was a new pair who moved into town." Figures. Clicking her tongue, Hinata turned to walk away from him. Dinner would have to be canceled, and she would have to make it here at home now. She really was looking forward to tonight, but guess not. "Oh, Hinata, come on," Naruto whined. "Don't be like this. I'm on a roll here. We sold seven houses this month."

"And what about the barbeque, three martial arts contests, and the two birthday parties that you missed out on?" Hinata challenged, whirling around and looking him HARD that it made him step back.

He was on the verge of breaking out in the cold sweat. "I...missed that much this month?"

She didn't plan to leave him over something like this, but the sooner he realized his mistakes made, the sooner they would fix this. Naruto didn't have long to do that, but just this once wouldn't change everything. "Okay," he said after a moment, "we're gonna take a week off starting in two days." Today was Thursday, so he was referring to Saturday.

Hinata blinked. What - what had just happened? "We're going to take a week off and head up to Suna like we did last year. The desert, the oasis and all that fun stuff - just you, me and the kids for the entire week. Maybe we can see Gaara again," he said happily. "He loves the kids."

At the last minute, he decides a family vacation is the best way to make up for everything he missed this month. Suddenly, Hinata wasn't angry at him anymore. She smiled at him. It sounded like a good plan. As the closing apology, she leaned up to kiss him on the lips he happily accepted.

"Let me go tell the kids." Watching him go and keeping the flowers close to herself, the watch securely fastened around her wrist - she loved it so much that this showed how much he still loved her - but then the phone rang, making her frown. Just who could be calling their house at such an unexpected time?

~o~

He hadn't realized what a bastard he'd been, working hard and successfully but losing track of the time. It was one of the things he never grew out of in adulthood. Actually, when he was a kid, it was much worse then - but how could he do this to his loving wife who saw him for who and what he was while they were growing up?

That was why he decided, at the last minute, a week-long vacation for all of them at Gaara's desert estate in Suna was legit. He met the guy as a teenager when he was in Konoha with his siblings as part of his studies to become a diplomat for his people. Happened to be that Naruto was the one to accidentally come across him, never knowing who he was, but their friendship hit it off hard and fast.

Gaara was also his kids' godfather, whereas Sasuke and Sakura were not-blood-related aunt and uncle here at home. However, his elder sister and brother-in-law were definitely much closer to blood kin. Hanaru and Itachi Uchiha had a son named Ren in college, going for a law degree, so the couple had more time for each other. His sister married Sasuke's older brother, the head of the police department, while she ran her own art gallery. Hanaru chose a good man in Itachi, who put both his family and his town on the same plate - which made Naruto a bit envious. Those two had barely twenty years going and might as well make it to exactly twenty.

"Boruto, Himawari!" he yelled up the stairs as he ran up. "Big family adventure!"

The response he got wasn't what he should have expected. His ten-year-old daughter came screaming and running from her room. She nearly knocked him off his feet, screeching, "DADDY! THERE'S A SPIDER IN MY ROOM! IT'S ON THE WINDOW!"

He sputtered. A spider in her room - oh, here they went again. His daughter was scared of spiders. He understood she was female and easily frightened, but she was getting old enough where she had to start being braver. "Hima-chan, why don't you kill it?" he asked gently. Her blue eyes widened in disbelief.

"There's a big spider!"

Okay, he was going to see how big it was and how bad it could be - and just as he expected, it was on the window and not as bad by his standards. Why did she have to act like that was Mothra? I'm going to show her how to properly handle killing a spider tonight.

"Himawari Uzumaki, you're making a big deal out of nothing. Come here." He held her hand and led her over to the window where the spider had been crawling but paused momentarily. "You're ten years old, and I am going to teach you the most efficient way to kill a spider." On her bedside table were some magazines which looked promising. "Doesn't matter what kind of magazine you use, but this is it." He didn't bother reading which one it was, but he rolled it up into the tightest he could. He then demonstrated by angling it in the direction to cut off his escape route - but not enough to make a crack in the glass. Once he was positive he got his point through to the ten-year-old who looked just like her mother, he gave the folded magazine to her.

But Himawari shook her head. "I don't want to whack it. I'm afraid of spiders, Dad."

Getting through a ten-year-old was hard, but not hard compared to dealing with a rebellious fifteen-year-old like her brother who was a spitting image of his father. Himawari wasn't going to spend the rest of her life letting everyone do everything for her. He didn't want her to have her worst fears used against her. When he gave her this lesson, he insisted once more she whack the spider, but she blubbered so much that the noises reached the ears of her big brother who came in, took the magazine, and crushed the arachnid dead on the windowpane. "There, happy?" Boruto asked irritably, putting the magazine back into his equally annoyed father's hand.

"No, Boruto, I am NOT happy," he called back. "I'm just trying to make a point to your sister about how important it is to whack your own spiders!"

"Whatever," the kid retorted, disappearing into his room around the corner. Naruto sighed and shook his head. What was he going to do with these kids?

He decided to take care of cleaning off the dead bug himself before giving it back to Himawari, since she wasn't scared anymore now that the thing was not going to bite her if it was taken care of, and no germs were left on her favorite magazine her mom had gotten her. He decided the kids needed no more attention, but Hinata deserved more tonight that he would gladly make up for - but he didn't expect her to be on the phone with someone.

"- got plans Friday that can't be broken," he heard her say. This puzzled him. Is it one of our friends? A new client? She turned around and saw him coming, quietly telling whoever was on the phone to hold on. "Honey, it's someone calling about repping a house."

So, someone was getting a hold of them again, regarding a new house to sell. She handed him the address, but when he saw it was in America, his eyes bulged. "Hinata, do you know where this place is?!" he hissed, sheer amazed. She shook her head, watching him with scrutiny. This place...it seemed like it would be a multi-million dollar mansion in the state where voodoo was practiced or something like that. This could be BIG for all of them!

"And what about our big family adventure, Naruto?"

Naruto flinched. Damn it all, what was he going to say now? He'd promised his family they would do this, but now this big opportunity in the United States came along. This could benefit all of them, but what the hell was he supposed to do now?

Hinata's face showed no expression when he gave her the answer before the evening was late.

Tedībea means "teddy bear", and Shūnen means "anniversary".

Hanaru Uzumaki-Uchiha mentioned, for those who don't know, is an OC my best friend created and let me use in my works many times. She is Naruto's elder sister (in both canon and AU), and the lover and eventual wife of Itachi Uchiha himself. :)

Read and review please. :D