For the record, I wrote this back in June, when I was just getting into this whole writing thing, so don't judge this.
[TRIGGER WARNING] Self harm - cutting, burning. Attempted suicide. Suicidal thoughts.
These warnings are for the whole story, but I will be sure to add the appropriate warning for each chapter. Alright, here we go!
TW for this chapter - Cutting
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Barry sat in the bathroom of the West house. While everyone else was at S.T.A.R. Labs, celebrating another victory, he decided that all that excitement was too much.
He left about 10 minutes ago, not even sure if anyone noticed. Of course they didn't. All he was to them was just another set of legs, except this set of legs could run at amazing speeds. That's all. They didn't need him for anything else.
Caitlin had Cisco, Iris had Joe and Wally, Barry had no one.
He looked at the razor blade in his hand. After a moment of contemplating doing it, he started taking the blade apart. He knew he shouldn't get back into old habits, but he has super-healing now. There will be no trace of what he did, right?
He pressed the blade against his skin, before digging it deep and cutting it across his skin. He forgot how good this felt. The pain, the feel of the cool razor on his arm. He let out an emotionless laugh as he made another cut. And another. And another.
Soon, his arm was a new shade of maroon, with cuts healing and blood drying. It looked nice to him. It reminded him he was human, not just legs. He could bleed, he could feel, he could do anything that Caitlin or Cisco could do, just faster.
He moved the blade to his right hand and started hacking away at his left hand, as he couldn't find anymore on his right. Joe would kill him if he found out what Barry was doing right now.
About 30 minutes of keeping the cuts from closing later, he finally heard the door open, and the laughter of Joe, Iris, and Wally walking through the door, like they never even noticed he was gone.
Tears were spilling from his eyes as he gave up on his arms and moved to his legs. After all, if they could have this much fun without him, he might as well destroy the one thing he is to them. His legs. Nothing else mattered, as long as his legs were fine, right? Well what if they weren't.
The pain from his legs felt even more relieving than his arms. He heard footsteps on the stairs.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself. He quickly cleaned everything up, bandaging his arms and legs, and changed into long sleeves and pants.
He managed to get in bed right before Joe opened the door. "Barr, you in here?" Barry didn't reply. He kept his back to Joe. "Alright, goodnight Barry," Joe said, closing the door.
"If only he knew," Barry thought to himself as he drifted to sleep.