Warning: Mild OCC-ness, Sadistic!Sanzo, and Stereotypical, Whiny!Goku. Other than that, this is meant to be a short, funny little one-shot.

Never Argue With A Sanzo

It had been a long day. The group had woken up ealy-way too early-to get a head start on their journey to the West. It was only now that they had reached the next town, where they planned to stay the night. After a large room at an inn had been secured, each one flopped down on either a bed or a chair, exhausted.
"Well, I'm off." Gojyou said, getting up to leave without looking back once.
"Where are you going? You gonna get something to eat? I'm starving!" Goku asked, accompanied by the growling of his stomach. The very loud growling of his stomach.
But Gojyou was already out the door before he could answer. Sanzo glared at where the half-demon would have been. Hakuryu squeaked and flew out the door.
"I'd better follow him," Hakkai said by means of apology and explanation as he took off after the dragon.
And to think that Hakuyru would be tired after traveling all day. No such luck.

Goku, for one, was happy to be alone with Sanzo. Then again, he was happy to be with Sanzo, period, with or without the other two. He sat on one of the beds, hugging his knees, watching as the monk lit a cigarette. Neither of them spoke; the only sound was the seconds slowly ticking away on the room's solitary clock. [If they had clocks?!]
"Sanzo," Goku's voice rang out. "I'm starving, can we go get some dinner?"
"No," Sanzo said bluntly, mostly irritated that his precious solitude had been disrupted.
"But we didn't eat anything since..."Goku began.
"I said no," Sanzo answered.
"Whatever happened to monks being compassionate and helping the hungry?" Goku muttered, mischief urging to him to throw one of the bed's pillows at Sanzo's head.
"Mean monk..." he mumbled, doing just that.
Sanzo's violet eyes narrowed. The look on his face was not a happy one. He threw the cigarette down and put it out with one sandaled foot. But his expression changed into somewhat of a smirk.
"I understand, Goku. I'll just go," he said, rising quickly and turning to leave.
"No!" Goku exclaimed quickly. "No, you don't have to go!"
"If I'm such a mean monk, you obviously don't want me around," Sanzo countered casually, resting one arm on a chest only a few feet from the door as he watched Goku with a neutral expression.
The look on the demon's face, however, was anything but. His golden eyes were wide in shock. He jumped up, ready to chase after the monk if need be.
"But..." he began, panicked. "You can't go, Sanzo!"
"Why not?" was the cool reply.
"Because...because...!" Goku let loose a sound of frustration. "Stop it!"
"If I leave, you won't have to put up with me doing this anymore." Sanzo was beginning to have a problem keeping the amusement out of his voice. It really didn't take much to faze Goku... He turned around, slowly and deliberately, with no intention of walking from the room.
"You're not serious, are you, Sanzo?" the boy asked with more than just a hint of desperation in his voice. "Are you?"
"I don't know," Sanzo said, trailing off, allowing himself to stray a few steps more towards the door.
"You can't be serious..." Goku whimpered. "I won't complain anymore, Sanzo! Don't go!"
"Are you sure?" Sanzo asked, teasing the young demon by looking over his shoulder, as if he might turn back. "You said I was mean and you want me to stop. I don't have to put up with you, either, if I go."
He was bluntly repeating the facts over and over. It was driving Goku mad. Absolutely, completely, totally insane. There was Sanzo, his savior, his sun, taunting him. Didn't he know that Goku would never be able to live without him?! Did he know that the last thing that the demon ever wanted was for him to go?! But if he ever said anything, Sanzo would probably just threaten to shoot him, or do something along those lines to avoid the topic.
"Pleeeeease...Sanzo..." Goku whispered, looking down. "You know I didn't mean it...!"
"Your whining is starting to get on my nerves, Goku."
"So if I stop whining, you'll stay?" Hope shined in the saru's eyes.
As amusing as it had seemed, Sanzo just didn't have the heart to continue. "Yes. Just shut up."
"So...can we get something to eat now?" Goku asked, almost forgetting that this was the sole reason they had started the argument.
"No."

And the moral of today's story is... Never Argue With A Sanzo. You'll never win.