JAKE'S POV
"C'mon Jake, where the hell are you taking me?" Bella was getting angrier by the second.
"Just wait, we're almost there!" Her and I had been walking for almost an hour now. Last year, if I had taken her on an adventure like this, she probably would have been laughing the whole time, cracking jokes and purposely tripping over things just to make me laugh. She used to love to laugh. I don't think I've seen her smile in a month.
When I first met Bella, she was three years old. Her and her dad were moving in right next door to our house in Forks, Washington, and the minute I saw her, my heart exploded. Ever since, I've been in love. Supposedly, my mom and her mom had also been best friends since they were toddlers. They were pregnant at the same, too, but my mom died giving birth to me. Bella's mom couldn't take the pain of losing her best friend, so she hung herself. Just like that, and she was gone. They moved here from Arizona a month later, and we've been super close ever since.
But recently, Bella isn't the same. It's our freshman year at Forks High, and Bella has never been more serious about school. She takes notes like crazy in class, plays field hockey in the afternoon, and then does homework all evening. She doesn't even surf anymore! It's only the beginning of October, but her behavior is killing me. Where is the girl who never stopped smiling? Where is the girl who wouldn't stop dancing and singing, even if everyone was staring? Where was the fearless, happy girl that I knew? Where was my best friend?
"Ow!" Bella yelped as she stubbed her toe on a rock. The cliffs of La Push beach seemed to go on forever as I tried to lead the way. "Jake, can't we stop and rest?"
"Are you kidding? Look, I can almost see the place! Just be patient."
"Whatever, but if I don't have time to finish my homework before I get home, there will be hell to pay." I laughed. Her temper was so extreme nowadays, it was almost funny. But maybe that was just me trying to block out the fact that she had changed.
"Look, I'm freezing. Maybe we should turn back."
"Bella! Stop complaining! Here," I took off my shirt and put it on her. Secretly, I loved when she told me that she was cold, because it gave me an excuse to take my shirt off. Dumb, I know, but every thing counts. I love this girl more then anything, temper or not, so if showing off the result of 7 years of surfing is what I have to do, then I'll do it.
"Here we are," I said. We finally reached the very last cliff in La Push.
"Ok, I don't get it. Why did you take me here?"
I couldn't believe that she didn't remember! This place was one of the best parts of our childhood! That girl really was losing her mind.
"Bells, don't you remember? Back in 6th grade, you and I decided that we wanted to go cliff diving. We came to this cliff because it was the farthest away, and we didn't want anyone to find us." This was also the day when I saw her in a bikini for the first time since she started puberty. But, I decided to leave that part out.
"Wow. I can't believe I forgot," gasped Bella.
"Yeah, you've been forgetting a lot of things lately," I tried to discreetly mumble, but she heard me loud and clear.
"What?"
"Look, it's not important, Bells. Let's just enjoy this." The sun began to set.
"No! Tell me what you mean."
Great, I should've shut my stupid mouth. It's not that I was afraid of her, or anything, but getting in a fight with Bella just meant her slapping me and then me apologizing. Always.
"Uhh... well, its nothing, really. But, I don't know…" I couldn't bring myself to tell her how it felt. It already hurt enough to know that my love for her would never be requited (not that she'd ever told me this, nor have I admitted that I love her), but now I had to go through her neglecting me on a daily basis. I can't even sneak in her window to hang out after her dad went to sleep anymore. She always just tells me that she's doing homework.
"Alright, here it goes. You're not the same, Bells. You don't talk the same, you don't sing like you used to, and you don't ever laugh. You don't go surfing with me, you don't come over to my house to watch TV and eat dinner anymore, and the only times we ever hang out are when I drive you to and from school. Otherwise, it's all about schoolwork."
Bella's dark hair blew out of her face from the wind, and I could see her eyes. She was filled with more emotion then I had seen in a while.
"Jake, it's not that I don't want to hang with you anymore. I just cant. It's hard for you to understand, since you're, like, the class under-achiever or whatever, but school is really important to me."
Ouch.
"C'mon, Bells. You know you've changed. I know the works gotten harder, but can't you afford a couple of B's? What happened to us?"
I realized just then that the way I said "us" sounded like I was talking about a couple. Man, I wish it could be like that. I'm 15 years old, and I still haven't had my first kiss. I've been waiting for her; I've been waiting since I was three. Why can't she understand?
"Ugh! You don't understand!" she exclaimed.
"No, you don't understand, Bella! You're my best friend. You have been for, like, 12 years! You can't just go and start acting weird! It doesn't make sense. School isn't even that hard. So why are you so different?" I couldn't contain my anger. I was wrapped around Bella's finger, and yet she was slowly suffocating me.
Bella took of my shirt and threw it at me.
"I have to go," she said swiftly. And within one movement, I was suddenly alone. Bella was gone. Not just from this cliff, but from my life. She had changed, and I was starting to think it was permanent.
BELLA'S POV
How could Jake get so mad at me like that? I haven't changed that much, I'm just more serious now. God, why did he have to be so judgmental? He didn't know what it was like. Him and I had gone through everything together. What's with him? I finally got home after running across La Push beach. I was on such an adrenaline rush, that I didn't even realize how tired I'd become.
"Bella? Is that you?" Charlie yelled from the couch as I ran through the door.
"Yeah dad. I'm gonna go upstairs to finish my homework." Just like every day, I thought to myself.
"Wait!" He called. I groaned, and then sat down next to him on the couch.
"What?"
"Bella, don't you think you've been working a lot lately? Take a breather; come watch the game with me. I think Billy's coming over in a bit. You and Jacob should watch a movie or something."
"It's late dad, let me do my homework," I replied. Had Jake said something to dad too?
"Well, just wait a min-"
"Leave me alone!" I cut him off before he could finish and ran upstairs to my room. No one understood! There was just too much pressure. I was already center forward, captain of the field hockey team, class president, head of 4 different clubs at my school, and just trying to keep up my 4.0 GPA. Why was that so hard to grasp?
And then, there was that other thing: my love for Jacob. I had spent my whole childhood pining over him. Everything he did, everything he said was just music to me. I loved being his best friend, because I knew I was his favorite person on earth. But why couldn't he love me? Why couldn't he just tell me that he felt the same way? It would all be so different if that were the case, but I've recently learned that that's just too much to ask for, so I started focusing on other things, like school. Cupid's arrow isn't always double-sided, and this arrow certainly wasn't.
It was about midnight now and I had been working for a while, when I heard a knock on my window.
"Jacob!" I exclaimed as I opened the window. He was standing in a tree, leaning against my room. I remember when he used to come over every night. But I didn't want him to anymore. It made me want him too much, and I couldn't get wrapped up in something that would never happen.
"Jake, I have too much homework. You have to go home."
"I'm not taking 'no' for an answer," he replied as he crawled into my room. "We need to talk."
"We already did, remember? I don't have time for this." I was getting so frustrated. I couldn't let him do this to me.
"Sit down," he ordered. Usually I wouldn't have taken this, but I was growing tired and I decided it was easier just to do as he said.
"Bella, I didn't mean to be so hard on you earlier, but I'm serious about this. I don't know what's happened to you. I, uh, I kinda miss you. You don't act like my best friend anymore." On his last word, Jacob took my hand in his. I almost cried, I hadn't felt his touch in so long. I missed him too.
"Here's the thing, Bells. Why don't you just stop playing field hockey, and maybe drop a club or two. That way, you can work on those dark circles forming under your eyes, and we can hang out more. You can still keep up your GPA." He sounded so sincere; it was hard to reject him. He had me right back into his trap. Ugh, I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen! I couldn't take it. It hurt too much. But… I did miss him. A lot.
I looked up into his eyes, and was suddenly reminded about why I loved him. Even when he was sad or angry or just serious, there was always a hint of a smile in his face. He was always happy. I thought back to when I used to be like that, and I suddenly felt cold. I could be like that again, if I wanted to. Yes, I'd be back, hopelessly loving him, but I would be happy. And I would be spending time with Jake, which I missed more then anything.
"I guess…" it was hard to get the words out. I didn't even want to admit to myself that I had fallen again. "I guess I could drop a few things. I'll try to act like myself, I really will. But you have to understand that I'm not going to lose my GPA. That's is the most important thing."
He paused before he began to speak.
"As long as you start acting like yourself again, I'm cool with whatever."
And that's when I realized how much he cared about me. We've always had each other's back, but it wasn't until now that it really dawned on me: Jake loves me. Obviously, he didn't love me the way that I loved him. He loved me as a sister. But either way, it was love, and love can always be transformed… maybe I had a chance. Just then, I thought of something that might work. It was a long shot, and it could end badly, but it was worth a try. I, Bella Swan, was about to make Jacob Black a jealous monster.