Title: Conversations

Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Category: Gen, Het

Pairing: D/G

TJ Davenport sat alone in the galley, contemplating the events of the past few days. The past few months had been trying to say the least, first with being stranded on Kareesh 9, discovering she was fired (after being quoted Caesar and subsequently, but figuratively, stabbed in the back), then having to care for the children on her own, while trying to look after Commander Goddard as he was in the healing chamber, and most recently, quite literally, coming face to face with herself as the doppelganger was wreaking havoc on the ship. She had gained a nice new purple and blue shiner for her efforts (to which Harlan had given her an A+), in uncharacteristically throwing punches and having both landed punches on her twin, and equally receiving a nice right hook, and a sore right hand from the struggle. She mock laughed at herself, noting that the Miss Davenport who had boarded the Christa over a year before never would have willingly thrown herself into the fray as she had been doing more of lately, and she wasn't sure whether she should be proud that she was showing a little bit more bravery, or mortified that she was starting to become numb to it all. Or maybe she knew that she had nothing to lose since she had no job to return to and no one at home she needed to answer to. It was somewhat liberating in a way, but at the same time, terrifying. She wondered for a brief moment what were to happen if she were ever to come face-to-face with herself before being dragged on their voyage to the far reaches of space. Would she even recognize herself or know the person she'd been versus who she was becoming? Would she even care?

Her thoughts then shifted to the changes she had been noting in the Commander as well. Upon his arrival to the academy, TJ's job included keeping detailed reports on his progress while teaching to present to STARDOG command upon the conclusion of his time. Truthfully, had they still been home, the report would not have been stellar. His abilities in the classroom left something to be desired, as did his conduct. However, since being brought along on the ride in deep space, she saw a shift in him- for the better- that reflected more the man her father had told her about as a child. Suddenly the bitter, beaten down, shell of a man who often showed anger and defiance at the Academy was more confident, leading the children by example, helping them understand how to work as a team and make intelligent decisions, and showing kindness and compassion for those in his care. It made her wish she had all her files from back at Starcademy- which she wanted to delete and rewrite all together. Of course, now that she had no job, she doubted her opinion on the matter would even matter.

The principal once made a snide comment to her about what she had perceived were TJ's feelings for Commander Goddard, knowing how often they fought and insinuating that they had been in some sort of relationship. At the time, it was a total falsehood- outwardly the two infuriated each other more than anything and often were at opposite sides of whatever argument of the day they were engaged in. Now though, she wondered, now that they had settled into a sort of odd partnership that worked for them, what she would even label their relationship as. Certainly not enemies- that she firmly believed. But were they friends? Equals? Something else? It all confused her so.

The past few months, with him out hunting for the new power crystal, then almost immediately upon returning, ending up badly injured as they tried to escape the planet, leaving him in the healing chamber and TJ on her own to care for the students, had been the most challenging thus far. While the children had each other, Davenport found that she was lonely and missed his company, if for nothing more than another adult to talk to and get some form of support from. Talking to Thelma just wasn't the same. Only Rosie knew that she had visited the Commander daily in the Medlab to sit with him while the machine slowly mended his internal injuries, and only because the young Mercurian also checked his progress daily to mark it down and track when he would be able to emerge. Davenport politely asked her not to divulge to the others her daily vigil by his side, which she imagined was difficult for the young girl, given her track record for secret keeping, or lack thereof.

At that moment, as Davenport was contemplating her thoughts about the man, Commander Goddard entered the galley- alone- nodded at TJ and smiled, greeting her with a simple, "TJ," and went about getting a mug, likely to pour his own drink. She zoned out for a few minutes, watching him fix his drink and fiddle with the food wheel, finally pulling out a bright green tube, pouring the powder on the plate, and dropped some water on it, to rehydrate it. The meal that appeared was something TJ couldn't quite place and judging from the Commander's face, neither could he. He sniffed it, shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, then grabbed a fork and headed for the seat opposite her to start eating.

She didn't realize she was even staring at him until he took a break from his food, looking up with a concerned expression. "You okay Miss Davenport?" he queried.

His voice snapped her from her reverie. "What? Oh, um, yes, Commander, I'm fine," she answered softly, her soft British accent trying to sound reassuring even if her tone sounded somewhat distant. "Why do you ask?"

He caught on right away to the distance. "You've been very quiet the past few days. And you gave the students the day off today. You don't normally do that. It sort of freaked them out a bit. Harlan thought it was some sort of joke up until you didn't show up for class."

Sighing heavily, TJ closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's been a trying few months," she offered vaguely. "I needed a break." Opening her eyes, she looked at him, changing the subject slightly, and said, "A joke, huh? Serves him right for all the pranks he's pulled on me."

Goddard smirked. "He asked if they could have off from Command Post training too. I made them put in double time there."

Davenport laughed at that. "I'm sure that went over well."

Goddard shrugged and smiled, then turned back to his food. They sat in companionable silence for a few moments while he finished his meal, while Davenport went back to nursing her now cold tea. Making a face at the mug in her hands, she got up to dump out and rinse away the remainder of the drink. While washing that and a few other assorted dishes that had accumulated throughout the day, she heard the Commander's voice cut through the running water. "ARE you okay, Miss Davenport?" he asked.

"Commander, I assure you I am," she automatically replied back over the water. "Any particular reason you ask again?" Her response came out a bit curt, more so than she intended, but Goddard, if he noticed, didn't point it out.

"Radu and Rosie were worried today. They asked if I knew where you were. Even Bova noted that you didn't even come to the Command Post today, which is very much unlike you. You weren't at breakfast or lunch, and while I can't attest to dinner, I know that that tea you were just drinking wasn't finished because I watched you dump out the rest and you are not one to waste tea. Something is bothering you, but if you don't want to talk, I won't push it. Just… before whatever is eating at you gets worse, try talking to someone. You might feel better." The Commander got up to head to the door when TJ's voice stopped him.

"Commander, did you ever have a period of time where a lot of… things, I suppose… changed all at once, and before you could address one issue, twelve more appeared?"

Goddard paused and turned towards Davenport, whose back was still to him. "Are you saying that you are overwhelmed?"

"A little," TJ admitted.

"How much is a little?" Seth pressed.

Davenport turned to face him, her features twisting as she tried to find the words to explain. "A lot has happened the past two years. Good heavens, two years already." She turned off the water, dried her hands, and moved back to sit at the table. "Commander, I am a teacher, and up until recently when I was quite unceremoniously sacked, an administrator as well. I am not field trained, but here I am, on what is possibly the most intensive field training any cadet has ever been put through, and we have no choice but to ensure that our students, who we are responsible for, get home safely, while also ensuring that we make it back with them. We've survived being flung across the galaxy, multiple encounters with Spung, a pirate attack courtesy of Reaver, crash landing on a planet, me being sucked into the computer system, Catalina first being jailed, then nearly being killed, but now is stuck in some other dimension, we've been shot at, had engine issues, and worst of all, the past several months, I had to take care of said children by myself after you were nearly killed. And try to do so without doing my characteristic fainting, screaming, or hysterical outbursts because as the only adult, I wouldn't have been helping anything. There wasn't time to even sit down for a moment because everything- EVERYTHING had to fall on me." TJ took a deep breath, having temporarily lost steam, and tried to compose herself again. Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes, but Davenport willed herself not to allow them to fall. She sat wearily at the galley table, exhausted from letting everything out.

Goddard sat beside her and faced TJ. "Okay… that was a lot to unload. Why haven't you told me this before?" he asked gently.

"When should I have done that?" TJ asked softly. She bit softly on the inside of her lip before continuing, "I haven't exactly had opportunity to as of late."

Goddard hung his head and let out a breath. "No, you haven't," he admitted. Continuing, he added, "but I have been out the chamber for nearly a month…"

"And we were busy evading doppelgangers and computer viruses and insane space stations bent on killing us," Davenport cut in hotly. Taking another deep cleansing breath, she rubbed her temples, as the beginnings of a migraine started to pulse behind her eyes. "I'm sorry, Commander," she apologized softly. "There are so many other things to worry about. I didn't mean to burden you with my foolishness-"

"Not foolishness," Commander Goddard cut in. He sighed softly, mentally cursing himself for not seeing sooner how Miss Davenport had been feeling. As the commanding officer, it was his duty to not only get his crew home safely, but to be in tune to the needs of said people. In that, now knowing to some extent what was worrying her, he felt he had failed TJ by not catching on to the burden she was feeling sooner. Worse, that encumbrance had partially been caused by his actions. There was a sense of reliance on her that he had come to not only expect, but completely depend on and in many ways, he felt that he may have crossed a line and taken advantage of her. He had to make it right somehow. "TJ, I'm sorry," he stated simply.

Confused and slightly taken aback by his use of her first name, Miss Davenport responded, "Sorry for what? You've done nothing wrong-"

"But I have," he insisted. Gently putting his hands over hers, which had been resting on the table, he continued. "I should have been more sensitive to what you were feeling. As the ranking officer on this ship- as a STARDOG- I should have realized how my actions affected others. Especially you." Giving her hands a small, reassuring squeeze, he added, "Forgive me. Please."

Davenport noted the genuine, apologetic look in his clear, blue eyes, coupled with a soft smile directed towards her. The warm feeling of his hands on hers sent excited tingles down her spine, but she didn't outwardly show this to him. Instead, she smiled back, saying, "Forgiven." They both looked into each other's eyes for a moment, seeming to share a thousand thoughts with each other without needing to say anything aloud.

He moved away after a moment, feeling as though he had lingered a little too long, and cleared his throat, mumbling a thank you, and stood up. As he turned to walk away, TJ spoke up. "You have changed since we started our journey, Commander."

"How so?" he asked, looking back at her with a curious look on his face.

She met his gaze with a thoughtful one of her own. "You seem more… confident. Not that you lacked confidence really, just that while you were at the Academy, you always seemed so bitter that the attributes that made you a great leader didn't show. I, um… I like who you are now. Which, maybe, is who you've always been, but I never got to see until we were stranded together…" she broke off then, and blushed a furious shade of red, feeling as though she was revealing too much. "I'm rambling…."

Goddard smiled. "You've changed too," he offered in response. "You aren't the same woman I met at the academy. You're stronger, braver, and more capable than I ever imagined." He paused before adding softly, "And you held everything together while I was hurt. I don't know what would have happened without you."

Davenport blushed, flattered by his proclamation to her. She didn't figure he thought that highly of her, and she found that she liked hearing that from the Commander. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Truthfully I didn't know how strong I could be until being strong was the only option I had."

"It suits you," he told her, without a hesitation in his voice. With a smirk, he added, "Matches your fiery personality every time we argue about something."

Lightly smacking his arm, she chided, "Commander!" but laughed as she said it.

"Seth," he corrected.

"Pardon?"

"Seth. We're friends, TJ. And the students are not around. There's no reason that the two of us cannot refer to each other in familiar terms when it is just the two of us."

Davenport contemplated this for a moment. The Commander had a point, especially when the pair were the only adults on board, and as of late, had been genuinely getting on better. "Fair enough. Force of habit really." Quietly, she added, "You consider us friends?"

He nodded. "Don't you?"

"Of course. I just didn't think you felt that way. Perhaps more of an annoyance, really-"

"Don't ever say that. Even back at the academy, with all our fighting, I knew you were on my side in some way. You were the only person who at least tried to reach out while I was there and I pushed you away because I was too stubborn and angry about my situation. I never told you how much I appreciated it. I'm sorry." They both stood staring at each other for a moment, Goddard hoping for a response and Davenport trying to process what he was saying. "TJ?" he asked after the long pause, hoping that she wouldn't slap him or yell at him or any other manner of negatives that could come.

Her response was not one he expected. "I though STARDOGs were not supposed to express regrets," she stated softly. "It undermines crew confidence or some other rubbish like that." Her lips were curled into a smirk, revealing her feelings on that particular tidbit on command school training.

"That's what you got out of our conversation?" he asked incredulously. "I pour my heart out and-"

TJ cut him off by kissing him softly on his cheek. "Thank you, Seth," she told him when she pulled away. "It does mean a lot to me." She scanned his eyes to see his reaction to what, she admits, felt slightly out of character for her to do, but it just felt like the right reaction to her. His blue eyes registered shock and surprise at her seeming forwardness.

"Teej-"

"You have been the most genuine, most real friend I have had in a long time. I- the crew- is incredibly lucky it is you that has been here to guide us home. I don't know what I would do if I lost you," TJ confessed. "It was hard enough- lonely enough- when you were in that healing chamber for so long. That is something I never want to go through again." Davenport had tears pricking the corners of her eyes and she willed them to not fall, trying to hold on to some of the strength that she had worked so hard to display the past few months. Weakness was not something she wanted to display now.

Goddard almost came undone when he saw the truth of what she was saying to him. Wordlessly, he pulled her into a tight hug, hearing the sobs suddenly come forth from her, and gently rubbed her back as the tears finally came and left wet spots on the shoulder of his uniform. He didn't care. A long cry after several overwhelming months of high demands was exactly what TJ needed at that moment and he was determined to be there for her- finally- when she needed it. "It's okay," he whispered. He feathered light kisses into her hair as she cried, repeating, "It's okay, I'm here," over and over, and fighting his own urge to tear up as her body convulsed while she wept. Seeing TJ faint, scream, and generally yell at him he could handle- full body sobbing uncontrollably completely unnerved him.

After several long moments, the tears started subsiding and Davenport pulled away. Goddard noticed the sudden emptiness he felt at having her no longer close to him. "Are you okay?" he asked her.

Smiling slightly, and rubbing the last of the tears from her now reddened eyes, she nodded. "Oddly, I feel better," she admitted. "But for all that talk of how strong I've been, I feel silly right now."

"Even the strongest people need to let everything out sometimes," Seth told her. "Can you promise me something?"

Davenport eyed him curiously, as he gently took her hand in his and continued. "Anytime you need to talk- about anything, not just about the students- I need you to come to me. I never want you feel like you aren't able to- not again, not ever." He fixed her with a firm gaze, trying to convey his sincerity, and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

She searched his eyes and nodded. "Of course. The same goes for you too, Seth." In that moment, her stomach decided to wake up and rather violently rumble its anger for being empty. "My," TJ acknowledged it, rubbing her midsection, and breaking the short spell that had fallen between her and the Commander. "I suppose I should eat something."

Laughing, Goddard led her to a seat at the peacock table and asked, "Anything special you feel like having?"

"Something edible," TJ deadpanned.

"Picky, picky," he chided lightly, which resulted in a smile from Davenport. A moment later, he came back with a rehydrated plate of what appeared to be some sort of Shepherd's pie variation with potatoes, and another mug of hot tea, "To replace the one you dumped."

As she ate, the pair started talking about anything and everything, making up for lost time and in the process losing track of it. Neither could remember the last time they had enjoyed someone's company as much.