AN: As dark as this is, it was actually a hell of a lot darker in the original draft. However, I hated myself and so I cut quite a bit of it. Leaving us with this absolute monstrosity that I'm a little bit sick of. Oh the well. If dark fics are your thing, I hope you enjoy. If not, then turn back now, because when I say it gets dark, I mean dark.
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.
It always stung, entering heaven. Stung her skin, her eyes, her lungs- everything about the bright, shining realm of goodness and light hurt. It was a natural repellant; some of the weaker demons were destroyed the moment they entered the protective circle of heaven, while others could barely stand existing within it. Few could walk through the previously glorious fields that had been the realm of light, and even fewer could do it for any length of time.
Xena was one of a kind. It stung, yes, would weaken her if she spent too much time here, but too much time was subjective. Always expanding with every visit, becoming a little longer with each time. As if she was becoming immune to the presence of good, her very existence within the realm tainting it just enough to let her live.
Considering she was Queen of it all- of heaven, of hell, of the mortal realm itself, all bowing before her- it pleased her. Pleased her that the ruins were finally allowing her, were finally admitting that she was their ruler, and so she bore the sting and smiled. Smiled as she walked amongst the destruction she herself had wrought, her every step withering the grass beneath her.
It was a beautiful walk, it honestly was. What mortal part of her remained could recognize that, even though little of what the world had once been remained. The once glorious buildings were rubble, pearly white and golden bones littering the ground around them. She'd been almost surprised to watch as the angel's bodies decayed, whatever force giving them their longevity and practical immortality gone after death. But even the decay had been beautiful, leaving behind glorious skeletons in its wake. Winged soldiers decorating the field where they had fallen, their armor dented and torn but still exquisite in its disrepair.
Almost none of them remained. None of them had been able to stand against her; even in vast numbers, every single soul that had arrived in heaven since the beginning of time turned angelic to fight her, they hadn't been able to bring her down. Instead they had fallen, fallen before her sword and chakram and claws.
She had been the one to deplete heaven of its residence, she alone. She had torn Michael's heart from his chest, had ripped Lucifer limb from limb, and had laughed as she watched the Light flee.
For her efforts, the population of heaven had dropped from uncountable to one.
There was only one building left standing- what its purpose had been before now, Xena didn't know. But now it was practically a shrine, turned for her own purposes to worship the one thing Xena felt worthy of her worship. Of her devotion. Of her love.
"Gabrielle," Xena said softly- her voice as close to gentle, as close to love as she could get it. "I'm here."
Gabrielle didn't respond. She gave no indication that she had heard Xena, at least not one that others would have been able to see. But Xena knew her, knew her better than Xena knew herself, and Gabrielle had stiffened the moment Xena had entered the room. Stiffened just enough to cause her chains to jingle ever so slightly, the sound pleasant in this world even with the horrible implications they held.
"I'm sorry it's been a while," Xena said, stepping forward. The words burned on her tongue- there was no sorrow in hell, no regret; at least, not any more. They were human emotions, celestial emotions, ranked up there with kindness, caring, and love, all almost poison to her kind.
Xena was strong, though, and even in the depths she had managed to keep a little bit of her mortality alive. Just enough to spare Gabrielle, to keep her instead of adding her body to the fields outside. Just enough to keep loving her in the only way a demon could.
"It's hard being the Queen of everything," Xena added on, a small chuckle coming from her lips. She took a couple more steps and paused, breathing in the stinging air, examining and judging Gabrielle from where she stood. Her demonic presence would hurt her, Xena knew, and so she took it slow, with enough time for Gabrielle to adjust.
Only the slightest of winces to show she was in pain, but still otherwise Gabrielle refused to otherwise acknowledge her. Her head bowed, she kept her gaze upon the floor below, her stance still the same as it had been before Xena had entered.
Xena's lips pursed, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. So that was how she was going to play it.
Xena closed the distance between them, her movements blurred as she leapt, her wings giving one single, powerful flap to drive her to the front of the makeshift temple. Wrapping one clawed hand around Gabrielle's throat, the other twisting into her hair and yanking, Xena smiled a cool, wicked smile as Gabrielle was forced to look up, their gazed finally meeting.
Even as pained tears welled within her eyes, Gabrielle's glare was strong. Strong, fierce, never wavering as she stared her down, the hatred Gabrielle felt for her clear within her stare.
"Hey honey," Xena said, raising her eyebrow as she sneered at her wife. "Miss me?"
Gabrielle spat, her saliva leaving a burning trail down Xena's face as it hit.
For a moment Xena considered retribution. She could already feel the skin on Gabrielle's neck beginning to burn under her claws, and it would only take a moment to turn them inwards and pull. Tighten until her claws sank into flesh, pull until a chunk of flesh came away with the movement, leaving Gabrielle gasping and drowning in her own blood.
It wouldn't kill her. No, experience had told Xena there was only one way to kill an angel: tearing out their hearts. Anything else they could recover from, given enough time and rest away from demonic presence. It would just be very, very painful, enough to send her much more mortal soul into a panic as the blood filled her lungs. And perhaps it would teach her a thing or two.
But instead Xena just sighed, releasing her hair and wiping away Gabrielle's spit with her finger, flicking it off to the side, wiping her hand on what technically counted as a shirt. She let go of her neck as well, stepped back and watched as the burning fingerprints she had left behind already began to heal- a pity. She wanted to tear out the little blonde's throat, but Xena had other plans for the night.
Gabrielle would wish Xena had by the time she was done, there was no doubt about that. Would wish death would finally come to end this, or that she could finally be free and end Xena herself. Neither of which was going to happen.
"I sometimes forget we used to be mortals," Xena admitted as she walked to one side of the room, kneeling first. The thick chain mounted into the wall still looked sturdy, the angelic material more than strong enough to keep Gabrielle in place. Even a good tug did nothing, and while the edge of her chakram left a deep scar in the metal, it quickly disappeared as the celestial steel healed itself. Xena checked each of the links as she talked, ending at the manacle that locked around Gabrielle's bare ankle.
Spreading her wings, Xena did the same for the other chain on that side of the room, checking every link and manacle that tied Gabrielle's arm into the air, keeping her immobile. Crossing to the other side, she did the same for the two chains there, her words never stopping as she examined the bindings that kept Gabrielle spread into an 'X' in the center of Xena's private temple.
"We were so soft," Xena said as she did her inspection. "Soft and gentle. Mortals still are. Even after two thousand years of my rule, they still find it within themselves to be so. It'd be infuriating, if it wasn't fascinating. Everywhere you look, you still find humans helping each other. Sharing what little food they have during the famines. Trying to help ease each other's pains during the plagues. Beseeching me for mercy, despite knowing they'll just end up on a cross. It's fascinating. And all unnecessary, if you would just agree to join me."
That was the point to all of this- Gabrielle. Everything had always been for her: from taking over heaven and killing the angels to chaining her in this room until she gave in, all of this had been for her. To convince Gabrielle to give up, give in, to join her as a Queen, a Supreme Ruler of Hell. To show her that she was wrong, that she had always been wrong. To show her that there was no good, there was no light, that she should just give in and accept that goodness didn't exist, at least not any more.
To join her, become a demon, and rule all.
This was all for Gabrielle, and if that meant breaking her? Then so be it.
But still Gabrielle said nothing, did nothing, just returned a gaze so full of hatred it almost made Xena flinch. Almost. Because while the mortal part of her cried out at seeing that, the rest of her just smiled. That hatred was the entrance to the path Xena wanted her to walk. She just needed to keep pushing her towards it.
"This is all your fault, Gabrielle," Xena tutted as she finished her examination of the manacles, and more. Running her hand up Gabrielle's bare leg, Xena let her claws trail over Gabrielle's naked flesh, watching as thin, burning lines appeared over her thigh, her stomach, up between her breasts, taking pleasure in the way Gabrielle trembled under her touch. Even after all this time, after everything, the mortal part of Gabrielle that still recognized her as her soulmate still desired her- a lovely note that Xena would make great use of after Gabrielle joined her. She continued to let her fingers wander, remembering the many times she had touched Gabrielle like this on earth, before that claw finally booped her on the nose. "If you would just join me, then humanity would be fine. I would end the cycles, allow them to flourish- maybe even become a benevolent ruler. But, because you keep denying me? They suffer, and curse your name for it."
That caught her attention, Gabrielle's jaw tightening and her previously loose hands curling into fists. She could hear them, the humans- angels were cursed with hearing the cries of humanity, and as the only angel left? She heard them all, and she knew what Xena meant.
Xena had started a religion around her, around her refusal. Had told all of humanity that the only reason they lived through decades of famines, plagues, war and death was because she, Gabrielle, a vengeful goddess, refused to give them her blessing. That her lover was trying to get an acceptance out of her, and once she did, it would all stop. They would stop cycling- the generational famines would stop, bringing harvests full of plenty. That would stop the wars over food, which would stop the diseases that grew on the massive dead that littered the battle fields, leading to the end of death itself.
All Gabrielle had to do was say yes. And her refusal to do so only led more to suffer.
But she would never say yes, not anytime soon, at least. Because to give in would mean heaven had truly fallen, and even though it clearly pained her, Gabrielle couldn't let go of the light.
Which was why Xena just had to keep on pushing.
"You're healing nicely," Xena said nonchalantly as she walked behind Gabrielle, examining her back. Her wings were beautiful, obsidian and emerald and the slightest hints of gold, the feathers thick and full. A clear, undeniable mark of those angels strong enough to hold their own against demons, to stand their ground on the battlefield of hell itself.
Xena herself had once worn them, before she had seen the light. Or, rather, experienced the lack of it. But now they were just a marker of how long she had, in fact been gone. Far too long, she saw that now; a mistake she couldn't made again.
Reaching out, running her claws up Gabrielle's spine, Xena gentle caressed where her wings met skin, the strange mix of flesh and patchy feathers creating a sight she could never entirely get used to. It was strange and beautiful, much like Gabrielle herself, a sight Xena could stare at for eternity.
Turning her claws, it was with a single movement and a single, sickening crack that the wing tore from her back, forcing out a cry from Gabrielle's lips as it fell to the ground behind her, twitching as the muscles spasmed in their last throws of life. Its twin quickly joined it, leaving Gabrielle sobbing as she bled from the two miniscule stumps that remained at her shoulders, the bone and skin ragged and torn and twitching from the pain as blood leaked down her back.
"You were becoming strong, Gabrielle," Xena said, kicking at the wing, shrugging at the smear of blood it left on the floor. She would grab them on her way out, add them to her pile- two millennia was a long time, and Gabrielle's wings healed fast. "I can't have that. You might just be able to break out of here if you did."
Almost a joke- no being, angelic or demonic, could break through celestial steal, even at their full strength. Gabrielle was stuck there until Xena saw fit to release her, until Gabrielle agreed to join her. Until then?
Gabrielle jerked on her chains, the muscles in her arms and thighs strainging as they tried to pull her free, tried to reach back and do something, anything, to soothe away the pain of where her wings had once been. But the chains didn't budge, the manacles gave no indication of failing, and there was no chance of escape.
Just how Xena wanted her.
"I can help with the pain," Xena practically purred as she stepped around her and forward once more, almost close enough so they could touch. "Just say the words, my love, and I came make it go away."
For a long while Gabrielle said nothing, just struggled to bite back the sobs threatening their way from her throat, fought to regain the control she previously had. How long they stood there, Xena wasn't sure- time ran differently in the realms. She could leave here, return to the mortal realm, and find that thousands of years had passed. More likely, she would find that what had felt like days, weeks, months here was only a couple of seconds in the realm of man. It was always a roll of the dice, never a guarantee she could count on, but that didn't matter, not really.
All that mattered was Gabrielle, and lost as she was in her pain, it seemed almost as if she might say 'yes.'
Instead she just raised her head once again, her cheeks tear-streaked but her eyes once again on fire, glaring with more hatred than Xena had ever seen before.
"One day," Gabrielle finally croaked, the first words she had said in longer than Xena could keep track of, "you won't come visit me soon enough, Xena. And then? I'll end this."
Xena just smiled- a cool, wicked smile- and leaned in to kiss her, her lips rough against Gabrielle's unyielding own. Not a kiss of love or even lust, but instead a kiss of possession, a kiss to promise a battle to come that would more than likely end them both.
"I would wait for that day, but it will never come." Their lips were burned when Xena finally pulled away, painful as she ran her tongue over the celestial-caused marks. Gabrielle had her own set, the skin peeling and destroyed by the contact. It would heal, of course, leaving her once again sweet and pink instead of tasting like blood and pus, but for next time.
"Our souls are destined to be together, Gabrielle," Xena said, her voice as close to soft as it could get. "Whether it's you joining me in hell- and make no mistake, once day you will- or the much less likely chance of us exiting this life at the end of each other's swords, they will be together. It's your choice how. And until then?"
Reaching around her, Xena pressed the palms of her hands against Gabrielle's nubs, wincing as their skin began to burn, burn and burn and burn, Gabrielle screaming and writhing in her chains as what remained of her wings burned within Xena's grasp.
When she finally pulled away- when Gabrielle finally slumped in her chains, even her angelic constitution unable to keep her conscious through that- Gabrielle's back had stopped bleeding and the bones of Xena's palms had turned blackened and charred, leaving little left. They hurt, hurt almost worse than anything else Xena had ever know, but she shrugged it off as she grabbed Gabrielle's wings, tucking them under her arm as she turned to leave.
Pausing in the doorway, glancing back one last time at her soulmate, for a brief moment Xena felt a pang. A single bit of remorse, the tiniest sliver of guilt for causing one she loved so much pain…only to squash it as quickly as it came.
Demons had no capacity for regret, and besides: Xena was only doing what she had. They were soulmates, as it was, and their love was greater than heaven and hell combined. They had to be together, and one day Gabrielle would see that.
She couldn't just let her walk through hell alone.