And should I die...?
by Catty-the-spy
Thunder. Lots of thunder. Thunder roaring in his ears.
As if he was a god, or an angel hearing a god, that the thunder's voice spoke to his soul and made him understand.
He loved the thunder, and the rain falling like tears-his tears- down his face, drowning the world in his sorrow as if he was a god, or an angel feeling a god's broken heart, that the rain's sorrow was his own and he wept with it.
He loved the thunder, and the rain, and the lighting flashing like emotion-his emotion- in his eyes. Striking the world as if he was a god, or an angel looking at a god, that the lightning felt with his own heart, and he so felt with it.
And so he stood there in the thunder and the rain and the lightning, naked as the day he escaped his mother's womb, feeling as if he was a god, or an angel being shown into the mind of a god, that the god's memories were his own, and his own didn't really matter, no matter that he had wronged and been wronged.
And in front of him was another, clad in a white robe, with his clothes sticking to his skin.
"Come back to me. We need you, I need you."
He stood there, seeing and not seeing. Knowing and not knowing. Feeling and not feeling.
And still he did not understand.
"Please, Severus, come back to us. You do not belong here."
Severus...a name familiar, yet unfamiliar.
He knew that name, but did not know it, and did not recognize it. Just as he did not recognize the one before him who pleaded with him.
And still, he did not understand.
But maybe the Sky-his father- or the Earth-his mother- understood in his stead, and spoke though his mouth in a whisper of wind.
"And should I die?"
And his tears became the other's tears. "Please, I cannot live alone."
And the other seemed as if an angel or a god, and he speaking to him, or hearing from him.
And still he did not understand.
And the Plants-his brothers- and the Animals-his sisters- heard, and maybe they knew, and spoke through his mouth on a whisper of wind.
"And should I die?"
And his pain became the other's pain. "Please, Severus. Come back to me. I cannot survive with out you."
Again that name. He knew it and did not know it, he understood but did not understand.
And this time he spoke with his own lips, his voice as his own voice, his words as his own words.
"And should I die...?"
And the other's love became his memory. "Should you die, I should die also. My life is not a life without you. My heart is not my heart if yours does not beat with it. My soul is not my soul if yours does not walk the earth with me. If you should die, then I would follow you through death. Remember, Severus!"
And in stepping forward, he tried.