ALPHA SET: Lelouch & Suzaku
#01 – comfort
He sees the empty hands of the emperor, the soon-to-be-messiah with nothing but the murky depths of an ocean to his name, and forces his own to curl into fists.
#02 – kiss
He kisses the cheek of a boy who is just like him; the sun-sweet lips of a partner and the bitter, moon-bleached ones of a rival; the hand of a scorned god who leapt from the grace of the stars; but not an inch of the lover that saw his heart encased in glass.
#03 – soft
His eyes were kinder and gentler than any others in the world—before they saw his friend behind the mask of violence and cowardice that eventually hardened his expression with rigid, unforgiving certainty.
#04 – pain
"I just wanted a world without suffering."
#05 – potatoes
Lelouch didn't actually believe Milly when she ran in yelling about Suzaku destroying the kitchen by making mashed potatoes for the banquet (it was mashed potatoes) so when he finally walked in and caught the startled gaze of his friend, splayed out in a heap on the floor, he was too amazed to laugh—for a few seconds, that is.
#06 – rain
Lelouch stalked into the little corner coffee shop, soaking wet and scowling like an angry cat, but when the tall and kinda handsome guy behind the counter started covering his mouth to hide his laughter ("Can I get you something warm to drink, or maybe a towel, sir?") he suddenly felt like smiling.
#07 – chocolate
"I could've sworn you detest chocolate chip muffins," C.C. commented idly as Lelouch swept by with nothing more than a hum, clutching his fourth one that week and pretending not to think about the wide smile and crinkling eyes of the guy behind the counter.
#08 – happiness
C.C. will drop by sometimes, appear out of nowhere and vanish just as quickly, and Suzaku will finally take off his mask and lay his head in her lap, allowing himself a small and rusty smile while she runs her hand through his hair and neither one even tries to pretend that they aren't thinking of him.
#09 – telephone
"If he hasn't called in the last two hours you've been sitting here, what makes you think he will during the one minute I need to order pizza?" C.C. asked, smirking as Lelouch got up and swept from the room much too late to hide his blush.
#10 – ears
"I don't have time to remember a hat," Lelouch declares for the fourth day in a row, so Suzaku just grins and rubs the cold out of his ears, pulling him in for a kiss that warms him right down to his toes.
#11 – names
He lay in his new bed every night and stared at the ceiling that was too grand for someone like him, his mind insisting, pleading with itself that this was all built on Zero's demise as well as his own, but his lips whispered the truth into the dark: Lelouch.
#12 – sensual
Lelouch didn't have to make the Knight of Zero outfit so tight, but, well…
#13 – death
"I will bear this Geass."
#14 – sex
They went farther and farther every night as the final hour approached, giving more and seeing more and trusting each other with every last inch of their bodies, but on that last night before the new dawn, when the need for stability finally gave way to that romantic glitter of vulnerability, neither one even uttered a word.
#15 – touch
He went back to school and re-introduced himself with an empty chest, and whenever he saw Lelouch he almost ran forward and grabbed his hand, kissed his neck, and held him close enough to take his pulse and restart his own, but then he'd notice the way his smile always reached his eyes and he'd have to turn away if he didn't want to throw up.
#16 – weakness
"What do you think?" Suzaku asked, smiling as he straightened the red pleated skirt of his seifuku.
#17 – tears
He doesn't like to cry now that he's supposed to be the protector of the new world's hope, but sometimes he just has to let go of everything he wants—let the spasms rack his body, the salt burn his lips, and his lungs waste away as he gasps for clean air that doesn't exist—and feel enough on his own for the millions and millions of hearts whose devotion Lelouch never saw.
#18 – speed
Gym class was mandatory, of course, and so was running the mile—but Suzaku didn't have to stay back and jog the entire thing at Lelouch's side, so he made an effort to at least move faster than a walk whenever he could and keep the muttered insults to the bare minimum; not like he could breathe anyway, unlike Suzaku, that annoying jock—
#19 – wind
Suzaku likes to climb to the top of the tallest hill he can find whenever he has a moment to spare, and when the wind picks up around him and blows the flowery taste of twilight into his lungs, he closes his eyes and imagines a slender pair of arms wrapping themselves around his waist from behind because he knows that he's never watching stars come out alone.
#20 – freedom
"I will destroy the world for your sake!"
#21 – life
"I will destroy you for the world's sake!"
#22 – jealousy
So maybe Lelouch wasn't exactly proud of that time he went up and ordered a third cup of coffee because he didn't like the way Mr. Blond Hair, Blue Eyes, Perfect Smile was flirting with the guy behind the counter, but the second time he did it was when he got his number so he bragged to C.C. about that one.
#23 – hands
Nunnally asks Suzaku to take off his gloves sometimes, to close his eyes and hold her hands like before so she can feel the smooth and steady grip of her knight in shining armor, but he always just smiles and pulls her close, eyes watering as she whispers all the ways the world betrayed her.
#24 – taste
They went berry-picking as a group, but it wasn't long before Lelouch and Suzaku found a warm patch of grass to lie in and eat raspberries then kiss the sunbaked sweetness from each other's lips.
#25 – devotion
His arms shook a he pointed his gun at the man who came the closest to understanding him, screaming, "Your existence is a mistake!" because he couldn't defend his ideal without shooting it through the heart.
#26 – forever
"Lelouch…do you promise we'll fix the world one day?"
#27 – blood
The red stain was washed off the mask a long time ago, but he still feels the handprint searing into his cheek every time he wears it, ubiquitous and unforgiving—and when he takes it off, it's infinitely worse because he can see that it isn't really there.
#28 – sickness
"Don't be ridiculous," Lelouch began, "you'll get sick, too, and then I'll—" but Suzaku cut him off with a gentle kiss to his chapped lips, falling asleep with his arms around his waist and a mumbled, "Worth it."
#29 – melody
Lelouch only knew him as the guy with the big smile that rode the same empty bus every day and sang along to the cheesy top 40 pop songs in his rough-around-the-edges but admittedly kind of intriguing voice—until he convinced him to join in for a performance of "Call Me Maybe" and they somehow wound up kissing on the steps of a fountain that glowed so brightly it put the stars to shame.
#30 – star
When Suzaku takes off his new uniform every night, he can no longer hide from himself and so tries instead to hide from the stars, closing all the curtains of his grand, empty room and eventually fading from consciousness with the memory of when he begged for their judgment instead of their forgiveness leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
#31 – home
Even now, when he hears "Let's go home," behind his eyelids flashes an endless summer filled with the brightest stars in the universe and the green-eyed, hope-filled boy who believed in every last one.
#32 – confusion
Suzaku was puzzling for a good ten minutes over the history lecture that for some reason was being delivered in rapid-fire French before he realized he was in the wrong class, but catching the gaze of the purple-eyed professor as the language of romance poured from his lips in beautiful, meaningless gibberish, he suddenly didn't feel very much like finding the right one.
#33 – fear
"You can't be afraid now," he tells his king in a voice harder and more barren than obsidian, turning away before he could see the concern hidden in his green eyes.
#34 – lightning/thunder
"Is something wrong?" Nunnally mumbled sleepily while the storm raged outside their shack on the Kururugi estate, but Lelouch just smiled gently from the top bunk and whispered, "No, go back to sleep," as his fingers curled tighter around the hand of the trembling boy curled beside him.
#35 – bonds
They were tied from the moment they existed by a golden thread that connected their wrists—it could stretch from one end of the universe to the other a hundred times and they'd still manage to untangle it—so even though Suzaku sleeps alone now and bears the future of the world on his shoulders, he always knows where he's going.
#36 – market
Lelouch wasn't allowed to go with them when Shirley and Euphy took Suzaku to the mall to try on prom dresses, of course, but they texted him pictures of all the ones they didn't go with so that when he showed up in a long, flowing number that was a deep green almost as stunning as his eyes, Lelouch genuinely smiled harder than he ever had in his life.
#37 – technology
The sun was setting in one sky while it rose in the other, but Suzaku's smile, grainy and pixelated though it was on Lelouch's computer screen every night, never failed to soothe the ache behind his eyes.
#38 – gift
Lelouch's grave wasn't exactly a popular place, but somehow the grass always seemed to trim itself, the weeds politely stayed away, and a bouquet of rain lilies and yellow roses found its way to the base of the tombstone week after week.
#39 – smile
Sometimes, Suzaku wakes up early in the morning, when the sun hasn't risen and the air is too heavy to breathe, and his lungs start to collapse before he sees Lelouch in the grey non-light, his face smoother and brighter than the rest of the stars and his lips curving upward, so slightly and gently, in a way that even he couldn't coax out in the daylight, and he drifts off to sleep again with a sigh and the first rays of sun on his lips.
#40 – innocence
"But Lelouch and I…we can change the world, together."
#41 – completion
He tumbled from his throne at the hands of his soul mate, fading into oblivion on a cross of his own tainted blood with a smile on his face as his brilliant and divine star-crossed arc drew to an ugly close.
#42 – clouds
For a while, Suzaku wondered angrily every day why the sky was still so clear and blue after he was gone—but looking at Nunnally and Kallen and Ohgi and everyone else who was stepping boldly into the future, he discovered quickly that he didn't really want a world where the sun was always covered.
#43 – sky
Suzaku always took comfort in the fact that the sky never changed, that his little ten-year-old self was wishing on the same stars that scorned him now, until Lelouch breathed his life into it and shattered the ceiling he knew into millions of pieces and he realized: This is your world now, and I'm going to defend it.
#44 – heaven
They smiled, long-empty hands brushing against each other in fleeting moments of intimacy as they came to realize, "Together we can do anything."
#45 – hell
"Live!"
#46 – sun
They lay on a hill after class let out, sitting together even in silence to make up for lost time until Suzaku glanced over and saw that Lelouch had drifted off to sleep, his face more peaceful and childlike than it was even back then, and his own expression softened until it was warmer than the grass around them as he whispered, "I'm glad I found you."
#47 – moon
But when the stars came out that night and he gripped the cold metal controls of his Lancelot and flew towards the man that was causing everything to crumble to the ground, all he could do was scream, "The world doesn't want you!"
#48 – waves
Lelouch only agreed to go to the beach if he could sit under an umbrella and ignore everything, so when Suzaku lifted him up bridal style and threw him into the ocean he was understandably pretty miffed, but then they spent the rest of the day floating on their backs and stealing kisses that tasted like sunshine and sea foam, bobbing along to the rhythm of the sea until he decided that maybe the beach wasn't so bad after all.
#49 – hair
Lelouch always complained about the permanent layer of cat fur that coated their entire apartment ("It's impossible that the thing still has any left on its body!") but at night when Suzaku would invite Arthur onto the bed and inevitably fall asleep with him curled in the crook of his legs, he would just heave a dramatic sigh and mumble, "Just for tonight."
#50 – supernova
He spent months gathering all the world's darkness to a cloud above his throne so that for a single, brief moment at the hands of his lover he could outshine even the expansion of the heavens.
Notes: next up is going to be lelouch and c.c.!