What does it mean to love? Is it simply a feeling within one's heart, or is it something deeper; a connection that unifies two souls, created by destiny. Even as I stand here next to my servant Saber who has pledged her sword and life to my will, even with that every growing loyalty and love towards me I still cannot fully grasp the concept of love. So when this child, the one that named herself "Passion Lip" asks me for a confirmation of mutual love between ourselves, I cannot answer.
"What do you think of me?" she said with a face of sadness and confusion. She had proclaimed her love for me many times. Every time we met she would say it as loud as she could so that I could hear her clearly.
"I love you, I love you very much!" she would say with a smile on her face. Again and again she would repeat those words, perhaps in hope that the more she'd say it the more true it would become. Even if she was BB's clone, even if she was a creation from the woman that had trapped us within this alternate Moon-Cell, I could not brush those words away. I could not turn my eyes from her when she was being teased by Alice. I could not sit and listen to Archer's berating of her personality. I could not sit and watch that child as she stretched out her hand in hopes that I would take it. Even if she did hurt me, even if she wanted to lock me somewhere far away and never let me see anything again, I could not hate her.
"What are things you look for in a person? As in, you want them to be able to do these things really well."
"Well, I guess first would be cooking, then laundry, and other basic housework."
"Ooh...I'm good at crushing things."
"I don't think that's on the list."
"Ooh..." she did not mean anything with her statement, it held truth in it after all. She was born to destroy, and she was good at it, I cannot hate someone for being who they are.
"Uhm...Could you stay over there for a second?"
"?"
"I made some...cookies, you know. Would you like to try some?"
"Sure." I never got to taste those cookies, I still wonder if there were even cookies in her hand to begin with. But I did not feel the soft, crumble-like feeling when Rippu approached me, rather, the backlash of the wind created through Saber blocking the attack that was meant for me.
Perhaps Saber hated her from then on, but I am sure she didn't, "I see myself in you as our love is the same," she said when we met Rippu in her Relief. Even as the heat of battle raged around her, as her Master, I felt no sense of anger or hate radiating from her. If anything I felt pity and sorrow. Pity for the woman that did not know her own feelings, pity for the woman that did not know herself. Slash by slash, blow by blow, the fight came to an end with Saber standing over Rippu as the victor. It was sudden, so sudden in made me jump. The S.E.R.A.P.H. immediately begun the process of breaking down Rippu's body, the all to familiar black noise taking over her body. But what surprised me the most was what she said to me.
"Is this really it? Can I really do nothing to make you fall in love with me? I love you this much and yet, I can't be happy?" she did not get angry, the amount of energy left in her body would not supply the action; all she could do was talk out the last bits of life in her data-made body. "You were always so nice to me, to the person that everyone else teased and hated. To the person that was the center of the hate and teasing of people, you alone stretched out your hand to me. You were my one and only Prince, my knight in shining armor. I knew from that moment I loved you. But even then, is it really too much for me to ask for the same? I want you to call me cute, I want to spend time with you talking about things you like. I want to cook things that will make you happy, I want to DO things that make you happy. Is it so much to ask for the chance to do these things?" at that point the black noise had nearly taken her entire body, only her shoulders and up still showed her normal color. As the end neared I could feel the last bit of hope channel into her hands, but instead of attacking me in hopes of taking me with her, she simply stretched out her hand to me. There was no hostility, no undermined motive, just a simple gesture of longing.
"Please, let me fall in love with you." she asked, her voice almost a whisper, her face twisted with tears that would not fall. But while she made the face for them, the one whose tears fell was me. I did not call for them, nor did I wish for them, they simply fell of their own volition. Rippu simply watched my tears fall one by one onto her hands, her face changing from twisted sorrow to a gentle, understanding smile.
"I see, it hurts for you too?" the black noise now swallowed everything but her face, the rest of her body was beginning to dissolve. "I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry, Senpai. I'm sorry that you had to do something like this. That you had to force yourself to do something mean. It's okay though, I forgive you. I'll disappear and you can move forward, I won't block your way anymore." the noise was now all over her, only her left eye and move were left.
"Senpai? Thank you, thank you for letting me fall in love with you." and with that the black noise surrounded her entire body.
Sudden realizations are common in the world. People will be doing something completely wrong and in the middle of it, realize the wrongness in their ways and change. Taking this, it could be said that in Rippus' final moment of existence I realized my own "wrongness." It's a funny thing, to beat oneself over the answer to a very simple question that could've been answered if given just the right amount of time in thought. In that moment, when Rippu decided to let go, I decided to take hold.
"...!" her entirely black body could not speak nor show emotion through facial expression, but whatever was left over, her sense of touch was amongst it as she recognized my hand touching her own. The glowing symbol on my hand flashed bright red for a second, and then it was gone. The proof of my contract with Saber, had vanished forever.
"I cannot say I am surprised. You were always one that was too nice and too gentle, even to one's enemies. I guess it's a flaw that will follow you for the rest of your life." I turned and looked at my servant, Saber, her wedding dress-like clothing bellowing in a non-existent wind. "Do not be sad, Master. If I would hope for anything it is that I pave a way of happiness for you, even if I am not the one standing with you. Your happiness is my own and I shall hold it until the day my soul is destroyed." and with that, Saber raised her sword high above her head and with her other hand, shattered it.
What happened after, I do not remember. All that remains of those memories is the feeling of Rippu's body as I attempted to protect it with my own, and the slight outline of Saber as she stood victoriously in the midst of a blinding light. After that, Saber never appeared before me again.
"Do you understand, Senpai?"
"Yes, I shall never set foot outside of the school. I won't assist in any activities that would help others in escaping the Moon-Cell and will do my best in instigating feelings of the opposite nature."
"Very good, I'm glad we've come to an understanding." BB giggled as she stood up from her chair and walked over to the door leading out of the Infirmary. "As promised, I'll leave your present in your room on the 2nd floor." she left after another small giggle, perhaps a sign of happiness in her inevitable victory against me. I wasted no time in thinking over it though, as soon as I heard the sound of BB teleporting out of the school, I rushed out of the room, ran up the stairs, and rushed over to the door of my room, flinging it open with all my strength. The run had messed up my shirt and tie, but that mattered little to me; my entire being was watching the small girl that laid on my bed.
Her hair was long and purple, like a light lavendar color, with a small red ribbon tied on the right side of the head. Her skin was a light cream, her eyes, though closed, were a violent pink. She was the girl named "Passion Lip." She seemed to had been sleeping, but with my entrance had awoken, however she was still laying down.
"Senpai...?" her voice was soft but the sound of it echoed in my mind. I slowly made my way to her side and took her hand, her nice, soft, normal human hand in mine and smiled gently.
"Good Morning."
"Where am I?"
"You're in my room. BB put you here."
"Mommy...did...?"
"Yeah."
"But I thought I...where is Saber?" she asked, moving her head slightly to look further behind me in hopes that Saber would be standing there. I bit down on my lip slightly before answering her.
"I was given a choice. In order to save you I had to give up Saber. BB promised that in exchange for Saber and my role in the group attempting to leave the Moon-Cell, she'd bring you back."
"But why? To the me who hurt you, to the me who hurt saber, why would you still show such kindness?" her grip on my hand tightened slightly, her face showed pain and confusion.
"Because I fell in love with you." I looked at her dead in the eye as I repeated my words again, filling them with as much truth as I could. "I want to be with you more, talk with you more. I want to cook things that make you happy, I want to do things that make you happy. I want to do everything in the world so that you are always safe and happy." I held onto her hand with both of my own, bowing my head as well. Rippu just laid there, staring into my eyes in disbelief. "I'm sorry it took so long, Rippu."
"It's okay...I'm happy, so very happy. So happy that Senpai finally loves me too. To the me who has only loved you and neve been loved in return, this is the happiest moment of my life." it was then that tears began to flow from her eyes, real genuine tears. "W-what? These are...but I'm an AI, we don't have this capability."
"AI aren't supposed to be able to love either, and yet here we are." Rippu slowly sat up, her hair falling down her back, spreading out behind her over the bed.
"Thank you, Rippu. For falling in love with me. I promise, I'll show you my gratitude for the rest of existence."
"No, thank you Senpai. For falling in love with me in return."
Unfortunately(?) I had never shared with anyone my first kiss. Even with the loss of my memory from the previous Hoy Grail War, that one fact seemed to stick out in my mind, as if my previous self didn't want me to forget that I was a virgin that had not yet lost his first kiss. But, thankfully(?) at that moment I began to realize the feel of the physical manifestation of two person's love coming together, the sweet taste of another's lips mixed in with the salty taste of Rippu's tears. Never had I known such happiness, and I would probably never know anything better for the rest of my days.
I never saw Rin, Leo, Rani, or anyone else part of the Student Council after that. Even if I did, it was a simple side glance of them as they rushed down the hall, never a spoken word or a simple acknowledgement of existence. It was because both of my betrayal and my promise to BB that I did not want to involve myself with any of them. Even if our relationships went beyond the Student Council, they were not there to me anymore. Every now and then I am forced to act as the gate guardian in place of Rippu. Saber is a lot more quiet now but she is strong, enough to keep even Rin, Rani, Leo and Gawain at bay all at once. Karna helps me from time to time but he has his own duty and I do not look to intrude on it. I have lost everyone, my friends, my allies, and the closest thing to my previous self. But what I've been given in exchange is something I could never let go of, no matter the cost I'd have to pay. It is painful to fight past allies, but every time I enter my room and see Rippu waiting there, to see that smile filled with satisfaction, happiness and joy is enough to reassure my decision. Even if the world comes to hate me, as long as I have her I will not falter, I cannot.
"Senpai, BB is calling for you."
"You're still calling me that? We're married already so you could at least use my name or 'husband' or something."
"I like 'Senpai' it's just a lot easier to say."
"Well I guess if that's the case then there's no use in arguing." I put on my school uniform, making sure to pin on the bright pink sakura flower to show my position as a member apart from the normal "students."
"I'll be back by dinner so I'll be looking forward to that 'surprise' you said you learned yesterday."
"Yes, I'll make sure to work hard so please come back safely, Senpai." we shared a short kiss and I exited my room, stepping into the second floor corridor. BB was already there waiting patiently, a small smile on her face.
"Enjoying the married life?"
"You did allow it, so I'm trying to make as much of it as I can."
"That's good, that's good." she said giggling a bit.
"So, what is it that you need of me?"
"The Student Council is moving again, this time it seems their going for a Final Operation; a do or die. Since this is getting a little boring I'm giving releasing all restraints on this one; make sure to kill every last one of them, but save Sakura, we need her." I simply nodded voicing my understanding of what was expected. No matter what I must sacrifice, I will never let her go. No matter what BB asks of me I shall give it to her so that I can keep Rippu by my side. Even if it is the end of my humanity, the rest of me will be within Rippu.
I love you so much, Rippu
