Campbell Saunders sighed as he pressed send on his text to Maya Matlin. He couldn't handle this anymore. There was nothing else he could do. He slowly made his way to the greenhouse, his hockey bag slung over his shoulder. When he reached the greenhouse, he made sure there was no one in there before sitting down and pulling his skates out of his bag. Now the tears were streaming down his face. He sat there, the skate hovering over his wrist, crying. He didn't want the last thing he ever said to be so meaningless. He looked up at the roof, at the sun peeking through the translucent cover.
"I love you, Maya. I'm so sorry," he said as he slid the skate across his wrist and scrambled to the other. He dropped the skate to his side. The last thing he remembered was hearing someone call his name.
Campbell woke up in a hospital bed, his wrist aching. He slowly opened his eyes and saw his mom standing over him, tear streaks visible on her face. "Mom?" he said weakly.
Mrs. Saunders enclosed her son in a hug. "Oh, Cam. I should have never let you leave home. I'm so sorry."
He hugged his mother tight. When they pulled away, he looked out the door. There was a security guard sitting on a chair right outside. "Who is that?"
His mom looked back out the door. "He's to make sure you don't do anything. You're on suicide watch, honey. You-" She couldn't finish.
Cam quickly grabbed his mom's hand, even though the pain in his wrist shot up his arm when he did. "I'm so sorry," was all he could say.
"No, no, it's okay. You're okay now that's all that matters," Mrs. Saunders said, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "There's someone who wants to see you actually."
She walked over to the door and waved someone in. A girl with short, curly blonde hair walked in. Right away, Cam knew it was Maya. He couldn't look at her right now, not like this. "I'll give you two some privacy," his mom said before walking out.
Maya cautiously made her way over to Cam's bedside. She sat down on the edge of his bed without looking at him. "Are you okay?"
Cam kept his gaze hovering towards the door where his mother had just exited. "I guess."
"You wouldn't have left a note?" Maya said silently, causing Cam's gaze to quickly move to Maya.
He was speechless. He hadn't even thought about it. The last thing she would have ever heard from him would be that text. "Oh, Maya, I'm so sorry."
Cam reached for her hand, but she pulled away. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurting? I could've helped you. Did you not trust me enough to tell me all of this?"
"No! Maya, that's not what any of this was about. I just didn't want you to worry," he said, never taking his eyes off of her.
Maya looked at him and saw the guilt and pain in his eyes. "When I got your text, I was so mad. I thought you had blown me off. I was really hurt, Cam. But then I got a text from your number saying that you had tried to kill yourself and all of that anger left me and worry took it's place."
Cam could feel the tears swelling up in his eyes, but he refused to let them come. He couldn't cry in front of Maya, he wouldn't. "Maya, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever put you through and all the anger and hurt I've made you feel. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Maya, but I just couldn't live with myself anymore."
"You...you couldn't live with yourself? Do you understand what you would have put me through if someone hadn't found you?" Maya said, standing up, anger rippling through her voice. "Did you even think about what you were leaving behind? Would that have been your sick way of breaking up with me? Cam, you didn't even say goodbye!"
The tears were streaming down Maya's face. Cam could feel the tears spilling down his. He couldn't stop them now. He sat up quickly, trying to speak through his crying. "Maya. I never wanted to hurt you! The only thing I ever wanted to do was let you know that I love you and that I'll always love you. I was scared, Maya. I was so scared."
Maya took a step back towards Cam's bed. "If you were so scared, why didn't you tell me?"
Cam threw his hands up in frustration. "I don't know! Did you think it would have been easy for me to tell you any of this? I couldn't have just brought it up in a normal conversation with you. I couldn't have gone, 'Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm depressed.' It's not easy, Maya!"
Maya crossed her arms. The security guard by the door was peering in, obviously concerned about the yelling, but Cam ignored him. Maya sighed and sat back on the edge of the bed. "But you tried to. When you broke your arm, that wasn't an accident, was it?"
"I didn't fall off the catwalk...I jumped," Cam said quietly. "I was having a hard time with the team and I was under a lot of pressure, so I just jumped."
"Oh, Cam," Maya said, covering her mouth with her hand, sobbing. "So was that a suicide attempt, too?"
Cam reached for Maya's hand again and this time, she didn't pull away, but squeezed his hand. "I don't think so. I just needed an excuse to get away from hockey for a while and that seemed like the only way."
Maya's vision was blurring with tears. "I feel horrible. I can't believe I didn't notice any of this. All those times I thought you were just acting out, you were asking for help."
There was a long silence between them. The only sound was Maya's sobs. Cam kept his eyes locked on Maya. This was all his fault. Everything he did, it left a trail of disaster after. He pulled Maya in close for a hug and her sobs intensified. "Don't ever do this again, promise?"
Cam blinked away the tears as he hugged Maya tighter. "I promise."