TITLE: Is this Love?

AUTHOR: Trista Groulx (aka dustytiger)
RATING: PG13, T, TV14, O15, Suitable for teens (you're old enough to watch the show you're old enough to read)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jimmy, Kim, Joey, DK, Billy or Lieu Johnson they belong to NBC and their creator. I make no money from this, and I make peanuts at my real job so please don't sue
CONTENT: Jimmy POV, Jimmy/Kim r, Jimmy/other s, pre-show

SPOILERS: a blink and you miss it reference to s4's "Sleeping Dogs Lie"

SUMMARY: What happened when Kim told Jimmy she was pregnant, and what changed after they were married to make him go back to his playboy ways.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: this is the response to a challenge, and is a one part fic. It's my take on what happened after Kim and Jimmy found out about Joey but before he came.

I usually don't write in the present tense but I feel it works for this fic, it's like a Jimmy voice over really, as things are going on with him and Kim.

Yeah sorry the time line skips, I'm not going for a major work of fiction here I'm just responding to a challenge on the board and Kim and Jimmy aren't my usual ship

I hope you like it please tell me if you do.. on with the fic…

"Jimmy can we talk?" I hear Kimmy ask me, we're in the kitchen at the work, and there's a few guys around, just DK and Billy.

Kimmy is a paramedic at the same firehouse as me, and I'm a firefighter. We've been seeing each other casually since she started working here, and it's not something we're keeping under wraps.

"Yeah, go ahead," I say.

"Alone?" she asks.

The two snicker, but make no attempt to move. So I lead her upstairs to the bunk room, which, of course, gets us even more looks. Kimmy and I have been caught pretty hot and heavy up here as well as a few other places around the firehouse. A rookie's up here but he leaves when he sees us.

"Go ahead, sit down," I tell her, motioning toward my bunk, she sit at the edge, and I sit next to her.

Then for a long moment she just stares at me, and this makes me nervous. Kimmy and I aren't really the cutesy sit and stare longingly at each type. Hell, I challenged her into going on a date with me, and it went like a fire from there. So the fact that we are just sitting here, on a bed, not kissing, touching, or saying a word has me a little worried.

I think we might have been on our first date all of an hour before we were on our way to my place, her hands all over me in the back of a cab. Of course, my hands were just as busy as her were, if not more. It was a great night, and I'm glad she accepted my impromptu Friday night date offer.

We're lucky we made it into my apartment that night, and a few other times we've attempted to stay in. So this, her saying we need to talk then not saying a word, I don't know how to read.

Kimmy and I haven't really had much more then pillow talk in the two months we've been seeing each other. I want to know her better, but when we get together it always ends up the same. Kissing, touching, clothing flying, the world's best sex, two naked sweaty people, then pillow talk.

"I thought we were talking," I reminded her.

"Jimmy- I-" she says, uncertainly. "I have to tell you something."

"Then tell me, please Kimmy."

I don't think anyone else calls her Kimmy, and calling her that was really just came from the fact that my name is Jimmy and Jimmy and Kimmy sounds kind of right together, nothing more then that.

"Jimmy you know I don't like it when you call me that," she reminds me.

I know she hates it but she's so cute when for a second she just looks at me like as if to say 'what the hell are you thinking?' Then after not even a second she just melts, and it's so cute I could never stop calling her Kimmy now.

"Just tell me so that I can get on with my day, please?" I implore her, I hate it when people don't just come out with whatever they have to so desperately tell me.

"Jimmy, I'm pregnant," she says simply.

That was not what I had been excepting her to say. I'm sure that I look like deer caught in the headlights. Surprisingly though she doesn't look upset or hurt by my reaction. I am stunned.

I thought she might tell me she wanted something more serious. Hell, I thought she might tell me that she didn't want to do this anymore, but this, this one through me for a loop.

"You're sure?" I ask her.

"Yeah, I even went to the doctor," she tells me, her voice very soft.

"How long?"

"A month."

I know that the baby is mine. As much as Kimmy is a vixen in bed, I also know she values herself enough to only be with one person at a time. I would never question a woman who told me that she was carrying my baby. I have more class then that. But I'm still shocked that it's happened.

Though I think I might know what night we slipped up. In retrospect it was probably not such a great idea, but at the time we were just having some fun experimenting with something. Hindsight is twenty-twenty as they say.

"Now what?" I ask, not remotely sure what the next move is.

Part of me wants to run, get away from what can easily become a responsibility as fast as I can. Another part of me wants to drop on one knee right there and confess my undying love her and ask her to be my wife. Both are a little extreme, and I need to think.

"I'm keeping it, Jimmy," she states, and I know from the tone of her voice nothing will change her mind. "I don't care what you want to do, honestly. I'm not aborting it, and I'm not putting it up for adoption."

I know that she is serious. I also have figured out she's the kind of woman that she is a woman who does not back down when she gets something in her head. I just nod, not sure what to do, and she goes downstairs, without saying another word.

I'm glad she's letting me think about this, because I know that if she had made me make a choice I would have mad the wrong one.

I find it hard believe that this woman, who just walked into the firehouse about two months ago, now has a very large part of my life in her hands. I never would have thought that when I saw her. I was just looking for a good time. Of course I'm always looking for a good time, and this is the first time it's gotten me in trouble.

Kimmy may be in a monogamous relationship, but I sure as hell am not. I think she knows deep down inside, but doesn't say anything, and it doesn't make our time together any less amazing or special to me.

She is special to me. I do care about her, far more then I've cared for any other woman I've been with. I know this because I haven't told her I love her. Odd as that sounds, I tell women I love them all the time, and I've never meant it. I usually am looking to get another night out of them, and tell them what they want to hear to make them stay. I'd never do that to Kimmy. When I tell her I love her I want it to be real. That's how I know she's special.

But I don't know just how special she is to me, and that's the problem. Am I ready to stop using my looks and my occupation to get just about any woman I want? It's going to e hard to give up, getting pretty much anyone I want at the drop of a hat. I really don't know if I'm ready for that just yet.

I know she's good for me. I know I want to be good for her, I just don't know if I can. I also know I have a choice to make, and she's left it totally up to me. She's made her choice, now I need to make mine.

I'm going to have a kid in about nine months, and I have some tough choices to make about my future. Which is not something I've really thought about before. If I put a lot of stock in my future I doubt I'd be running into burning buildings for a living.

A million questions race through my head. Do I want to be in it's life? Do I want to be in Kimmy's life? Do I want to just support the baby? Do I want to try and support her? Do I want to – marry- her? I really don't know the answer to this. I need to think.

I think she understands. If she's been to the doctor she figured it out a while ago, and she's been thinking about it too. She also chose what she was going to do. She chose not to trap me. She's a smart woman, I have to admit. I would be running to Canada right now if I thought that she had made up my future for me.

She didn't. She's letting me chose. Hell, if I wanted to I could walk right up to Lieu and ask for a transfer and never even have to worry about her again. I don't think I can do that. But I do need some time to think.

-- Two Days Later--

I know what I have to do. Really I had good idea of what I was going to do after half a pint at Haggerty's the night she told me. And I do want to this, despite what any one might think. I do want this for us.

I look around my apartment, everything is perfect, now I just need to wait for her. She should be here soon. I've ordered food from a nice restaurant, that delivers. I can't cook to save my life, she knows that. I figure this is something I had to do at home, and the food had to be just right.

I actually have it set up like I've cooked it myself, but I'm not going to lie to her. It just looks better to use the nice pasta dish my mother bought me. I also have a few nice plates, again a gift from my mother, I have wine glasses out, but because of her being pregnant I've put that sparkling grape juice stuff in them.

I even have candles, which are items I had to buy, with candle holders. Vanilla scented pillar candles in eternity holders, that's what the knock-out at the candle store had called them. All I know is that they were nice, they were on sale, and the smell of them reminds me of Kimmy.

I am also dressed a little nicer then I usually do. I'm wearing a button up dress shirt, no tie though, we're not going out. I am also wearing my good dress pants.

I have roses for her. Nice ones. Long stemmed red ones which cost me more then I'd like to admit, but I think flowers are a must for this.

The doorbell rings, and I answer the door. She is stunning, I have to admit, and I'm taken aback by the way she's dressed. I told her to dress nice. But I didn't think she'd look this nice.

"Wow," I say.

She blushes, which just makes her look all the more beautiful. She walks in, and I close the door behind her.

Her hair is up loosely, curled, which I've never seen her do. It's falling all over, I know it's meant to look like that, and it looks amazing on her. Her hair clip has some pretty real looking fake flowers in it.

Her dress hugs her perfectly, and I notice that it is impossible to tell just by looking at her that she is pregnant. It's a dark blue slip dress, with spaghetti straps, with a v-neck, cut right above her knees. She smiles at me, and I hand her the flowers.

"Thank you," she says, still smiling.

"Come on in, I ordered some Italian, I hope you like angel hair pasta in mushroom primavera sauce with chicken," I say.

"It sounds good, and smells good, too," she adds, going to the table. "Jimmy I can't have that."

I know she means the wine glass. "It's that sparkling grape juice stuff," I tell her. "I have a sister you know?"

"I didn't actually. Thank you for thinking about that."

She's right, we don't know much about each other at all. We know bedroom type things, but actually knowing each other those details are sketchy. I guess we'll just have to learn.

I realize that I don't know anything about her family either, and we should talk about that some time, as well as our pasts, and what we want in our futures.

"I'm not drinking either," I inform her, with one of my more subtle smiles, that I like to think hides my dimples.

"That's nice," she replies. "Thank you."

I put some pasta on each of our plates, and we eat in relative silence. I know she is wondering what is going on. I don't blame her for being curious. But I want the night to be just right.

I clear the dishes away, and I know that if I don't act soon she might force my hand, and I don't want that. I want this to be perfect for her. I come back to the table. I have chocolate cake, and put one piece at my place, and one in front of her.

I stay standing in front of her, then remember all the chick flicks I've seen, I take her hand, and drop to one knee. The velvet box is hidden in the palm of my other hand, and she hasn't seen it, but her eyes are already sparkling, she's so beautiful when she's happy.

I didn't think to write anything, or practice any kind of speech, so I have to wing it now that I'm kneeling in front of her and she's probably figured it out.

"Kimmy, I love you," I tell her, softly. "I mean that, unlike all the other times, I've said it to a woman. I love you, and I want to be a father to our baby. I would also like very much to be your husband, that is, if you'll have me?"

So it was sappy, and if the guys at the house find out about this I'll never hear the end of it. Playboy Jimmy "Dimples" Doherty down on one knee, proposing going on about love. I'd be laughed off the engine. All of it is the truth. I do love her. I do want to be in my kid's life, and I do want her to be my wife.

She's just staring at me. I open the box, to reveal a simple white gold solitaire that reminded me of her when I saw it.

"Kimmy, will you be my wife?" I ask her.

"Yes," she whispers, she's not crying, but she is smiling, and shaking just a little.

I take the ring out of the box, and gently slide it onto her finger. I then stand up, somewhat, so that we are the same level, and kiss her.

From that moment on I knew I was committed to Kim Zambrano, and I knew that our lives would always be intertwined. I mean it when I say I love her, and that she's the only woman I will ever love.

After she finish eating our desert, and of course make our way to the bedroom, and for the first time in my life I don't just have sex with a woman, I make love to her, and it's amazing.

--Five Months Later--

Kimmy and I were married only a month after I proposed to her. We had our wedding at a small chapel, the pastor was a friend of my parents and we had a small ceremony. Just immediate family and close friends. We both wanted it low key, and nice, and that's what we had.

I have also been faithful to her since our wedding night. I have to admit that there were a few women who were more then a little upset when they found out about my new found monogamy, and moreover, marriage.

Kimmy is now six months along in her pregnancy, and I am taking all the extra shifts I can get since I know have a kid to support, and maternity pay is peanuts. I've started betting to get more money, but it's not working so good. I should stop, but I keep hoping to get some extra money for my family.

We actually found out at her last ultrasound that we were going to be having a boy. He had his legs open for the world to see. We both had a good laugh at the fact that he was already about as shy as his father.

There was no deny what was on that screen, I'm having a son. We've decided to name him Joseph James Doherty, Joey for short. We've got some of the stuff we need, but we still need a lot, and he's going to be here soon.

I'm done work, and I don' want to go home. So I'm at Haggerty's, alone, watching the Giants playing the Jets. I have half my overtime pay riding on the Giants; who are about a likely to pull win, as it would be for Kimmy to tell me that she's not having a baby after all.

I curse slamming my, now warm my of beer down on the table. I then order a double shot of vodka, straight. The bartender, who is gorgeous pours it, hands it to me, and I swallow it one gulp, with a piss warm beer chaser.

"Care to talk about it, Handsome?" she asks, gently rubbing my hand.

I don't know if this is genuine flirtation or a ploy to get a better tip out of me.

"My team's never going to win, and I'm out some money. My kid's mother is be pissed when she finds out," I explain..

I don't know why I don't tell her that she's my wife, nor that I'm married. I don't wear a wedding band because of my job. I do wear a ring on a chain, but that's neatly tucked into my shirt. Also she would have to ask what it was, and I could easily lie if she saw it.

Kimmy and I both agreed that my wearing a wedding band might not be the best idea, but I should have something for when we went out. So we compromised with the chain. Not that my intention was ever to lie about what the ring around my neck symbolized.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Tell you what?" she says, with a very friendly smile. "That last shot is on me?"

"Thanks," I mutter, half heartedly, she's looking for a good tip.

She then winks at me. "If you stick around after close I bet I can take the sting off a little, what do you say?"

I smile at her. "I like the sound of that."

I'm not sure what made me agree to it. I don't know why I didn't tell her I have a wife I love with all my heart at home. A wife who despite being six months pregnant is still amazing between the sheets, and I don't need her to take the sting away. I don't say I a word.

With that innocent enough night out to watch a game four months of monogamy goes down the drain. The bartender is great. She's no Kimmy, but she gets the job done. The money on the game doesn't seem so bad.

I go home to Kimmy as if nothing's happened, and she doesn't suspect a thing. Of course she was sleeping when I got in, and I showered. She wakes up hearing that, she always does.

"You're late," she whispers, rolling over to face me.

"My shift went late," I lie.

"I hope it wasn't too bad."

"Just stuck until the last ember was out. You know how it is."

She nods, and pulls me to her, and we make love, which is amazing as always, and she doesn't suspect for even a moment that I was with someone else earlier.

This marriage thing could work. I can love Kimmy and still have some fun when she's not up for it. I can have some fun even when she is up to, I discovered. I get my wonderful wife. I'm going to have a son, and Kimmy will never know..

I do love Kimmy, I just don't have that much time to Jimmy "Dimples" Doherty. I'm glad that I decided to keep my address book. It's still safe in it's place in my locker at work. There's a few women who will be happy to know I'm out of retirement.

I kiss Kimmy lightly, as she's falling asleep. "I love you Kimmy, you're the only girl for me," I tell her, and it's the truth.

"I love you, too, Jimmy," she whispers groggily.

"Sleep well," I tell her.

"Mm," she purrs, and I can tell by her breathing that she's asleep. I spoon up with her, and soon am asleep too.

The End

End notes: well that's it really, maybe not my best works, but I like it enough, and it seems to me like it could have happened this way, and I don't think more is needed hope you got your Jimmy/Kimmy fill I don't think I can do another one