1000 Words
By Mimichan25
One shot
I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me, not that easily
It was raining hard since yesterday so we were forced to stay indoors. It is not that I was gloomy and all, I rather liked that I could snuggle all day in his arms. It had been a long time since he stayed this long with me. I had no right to ask more of his time, more from his giving me. Even if he would only spend some moments with me, I am satisfied. After all, he could never be mine.
I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me, far too easily
We were lazily sitting in my sofa. Well it is OUR sofa since it was a gift from him but he never had any problems with my claim. It was our second anniversary. Yesterday, he treated me in one of the most expensive restaurant in Tokyo, Tadaima. That resto really made its customers feel at home. Well, we had a nice dinner and went back straight to my apartment. I didn't know he planned a great night for us so I returned the favor with the best gift only a woman can give.
The next day the heavy raindrops were still on my windows so I told him to stay for the day, but he protested. So I told him to rather stay until the rain stopped. To my delight, he agreed with this arrangement.
"Yash?" I said. I fiddled with the hem of my sweater. I'm very nervous with the topic that I'm about to bring up. He seemed to notice this so he intertwined his finger with mine.
"Yes?"
"When are you coming back?" Only silence greeted this innocent question.\
We both knew what I'm talking about. We also both knew the answer. But I was still hopeful. Hopeful that someday his answer would change.
"I'm not sure Kags…. I'm sorry Kagome I should have spent more time with you but…" I knew what he was going to tell me so I silenced him with my finger.
"I know. I guess I was just…never mind. I'm just very happy that you're here."
He was about to tell me that he's busy at work and that he has other important obligations. An obligation named Kikyo. Kikyo is his wife. His lover. And I am only his past time. I saw her picture before. And it is creepy to realize that we ha some resemblance. Forbidden thoughts would cross my mind once in a while. Did he stay with me just because I looked like her? Or if he could even distinguish me from his wife?
Suddenly, his phone rang. I had a nagging feeling about who the caller was. I shifted out of his embrace as we sat upright so he could answer his phone.
"Hello? Honey! Right now? I'm… I'm in the office. You cooked Sukiyaki? Yum! My favorite! Okay! I'll come home early. Sure no problem. K, bye."
He sighed and looked at me straight in the eyes. His eyes spoke volumes. It said things that never would be heard. Not meant to be heard.
I stood up and fetched his coat and keys.
"Save your tears coz I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been an answer
What if I cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart
"You sure you're gonna be okay? I'm sorry Kags…I know I'm gonna stay longer but…"
Once again, I silenced him with a kiss. A kiss that lasted for sometime. I was sure it would have lead to something else if I hadn't ended it.
"Don't worry about me okay? I'll be fine." With this said, I ushered him to the door and to his car.
He started his engine and I waved him goodbye.
"I'll call you." He said.
"Okay. Have a safe trip home." I replied.
Then, he drove off.
This how our times together would end. Him going back to his wife. And me going back to my apartment with me heart lighter than the last time.
It seems that everytime he would leave, he carried off a piece of my heart.
Coz a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though I can't see
I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings
Everytime we were apart, all I could think about is him. I longed that I could tell him everyday that I love him. That everyday I would wake up in his arms feeling loved and safe. The time when I can shout to the world that he is the man that I love.
I wish that I could ask him to stay. To stay with me.
Words that I would never voice out. Words that only my heart had the courage to whisper.
Oh, a thousand words, 1000 embraces
Will cradle you, making all of your
Weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever
I would always wonder if kikyo's taking care of him. If she could satisfy him the way she can. If she loves her more than she did.
I would always wish I was better. I would imagine that only my arms would warms him. That it was only my name that he would remember. That only my lips would claim his.
This are only dreams. Dreams that I could only hope to come true.
Oh, thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home (carry you home)
And back into my arms
Suspended in silver wings (on silver wings)
Almost a month had passed. I never heard from him again. I worried a lot only to receive a devastating phone call.
I just finished my shower when my phone rang. It was him.
"Hello yash? How are you? Why didn't you call me earlier? I was really worried…"
I noticed that I was greeted in silence.
"Yash?"
"I'm sorry. This is Kikyo. His wife if you didn't know. I want you to stay away from my husband. I am carrying his child. We had already talked about this. He agreed to let go of you. So as a woman, I would advise you to find your own man. Inuyasha loves me. I knRemember that. You are just his past time. Goodbye."
I oould not quickly process the words of Kikyo. I wondered if I was just dreaming. I pinched myself. I realized I was wide awake.
I unsteadily walked to my sofa. Then the force finally hit its target. The dam broke. I could not stop crying. Somehow I knew that this is how we will end. I knew we were not mean to be. But I hoped. And by hoping my heart now lay in pieces.
I never knew if I could pick them up again.
And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Making all of your lonely years to only days (only days)
They'll hold you forever
It is my first day in Japan again after I worked abroad in America for 3 years. There I mended my heart. Tried to put them back together again.
I was enjoying the warmth of the sun as I walked around Sango's subdivision. She is the Japanese girl that I met in the States. We were bestfriends since then. Now we decided to move back home.
I was excited when I found a playground just a few blocks away from Sango's house. There are many children on the slides and on the sand box. And then I saw them.
They really looked like a happy family.
A family that I could never have with him.
I never forgot him.
But now I am ready to let him go. He would be a wonderful memory for me.
A memory that I could never forget.
Oh, a thousand words
"Goodbye, Inuyasha. Aishiteru."
End.
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