Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings therein. They are the sole creative property of SquareEnix. I do however own Advent Children and Advent Children Complete (they really are two different movies if you think about it), and Final Fantasy 7 for my PS3. DUDE… IT'S AWESOME IN HD. Err… I digress
Title: Not Quite the Gift of the Goddess
Warnings: complete and utter destruction of the English language… Valley Girl style. (go watch Clueless)
Summary: What REALLY happened when Genesis was dissed by Minerva

Genesis Rhapsodos, SOLDIER 1st Class, could not believe it. Zack Fair had defeated him. No, not just defeated him, but soundly pummeled him into the Life Stream. Picking himself up, he struggled to get his bearings as he looked around. There off in the distance he saw a golden glow radiating towards him. As if compelled by a higher power, Genesis walked towards it.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus and take to the sky," Genesis whispered as he looked upon the woman with the golden aura. It was the Goddess herself! Gaia it was Minerva.

Minerva heard the prattling of the intruder but did her best to ignore it, continuing on with her phone conversation.

"So, I was like no way and he was all like yarly and then I was like orly? Yanno."
"Ripples form on the water's surface. The wandering soul knows no rest," Genesis continued as he came closer. He took in the sight of the Goddess who was dressed in strangely bright colored clothing.
"OhmahGaia! He didn't!" Minerva continued glancing momentarily at the man approaching her. "Ugh, gotta go Sheev there's a fanboy in my midst. I know right," she giggled before hanging up.

Minerva turned to look upon the human. He was cute, she'd give him that but really, didn't anyone tell him that red was not a good color for redheads to wear.

Chomping and snapping her gum she gave Genesis a bored look as he bowed low before her.

"Goddess, I am but your humble servant," he said as he genuflected.
"Uhm, whatevs."
"There is no hate, only joy for you are beloved by the Goddess."
"Ah. Excuse me, what was that?"

Stunned that the Goddess was speaking to him, he averted his eyes and responded solemnly.

"It is LOVELESS your greatness. An epic poem that speaks of your gifts to the world."
"Boooooring."

Genesis' head snapped up. Did he hear right?

"B-b-boring? BORING? LOVELESS IS NOT BORING! IT IS A WONDERFUL MASTERPIECE AND ONLY A FOOL WOULD NOT APPRECIATE IT."
Minerva looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Boring. Who are you by the way?"

Realizing that Minerva could have just killed him with a look, Genesis remembered himself and his manners.

"Commander Genesis Rhapsodos, SOLDIER 1st Class of the Shin-Ra Army," He replied as he gave an elegant bow.
"Shin-Ra eh? Do you know Sephiroth?" She said with a dreamy sigh.

"Se-Sephiroth?"
"Mmhm. That long flowing hair, the smirk, the body," she said as she squealed. Rushing up to Genesis she quickly grabbed his arm and flew a million questions at him.

"OH EM GEE! You know him don't you! You DO! Is he as dreamy in person as he is from afar? Is he single? Does he really use one whole bottle of shampoo? Is he single? Well?"

Genesis face fell. The Goddess. His Goddess whose gift he had been searching for all of his life. His one purpose was… a fangirl.

Minerva squealed as thoughts of having Sephiroth all to herself spilled from her lips. She quickly got out her cell phone and called and texted everyone she knew.

"Sheev! Sheev are you sitting down! Like you need to sit down kay? I just met someone that knows someone that knows someone who knows Sephiroth!"

Genesis slowly walked away, his ears bleeding slightly from the sound of Minerva screeching into her phone.

Genesis reached inside his leather coat and took out his once beloved possession. His first edition of LOVELESS that he had owned since he was a small child. He threw it as hard as he could into the Life Stream as he walked back out towards Zack Fair.

"Say one word and I swear to Gaia I'll start reciting lines from The Jersey Shore," Genesis grumbled as he walked past the black haired SOLDIER.

As you can see gentle readers, Genesis wasn't kicked out. He walked out with his head held high and a twitch in his eye.

Genesis: That psycho Minerva somehow got my number and keeps pestering me to introduce her to Sephiroth!
Soooo, why don't you?
Genesis: I prefer not to have multiple stab wounds, thank you very much.
Angeal: *still watching Cloud getting stabbed repeatedly from ACC* Yeah, it looks like it hurts a bit. HeeHee.
*snuggles in between the two SOLDIERS and munches on popcorn* Aww Cloud fall down, go boom.
Genesis: And yet the spikes are still in place. Amazing.