This is Liam's suicide note.
Dear Boys,
Two weeks; that's all it took for me to fall in love with Alexandra Garcia.
Shut the door
Turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
Everything about her was perfect. She was the bestest thing that ever happened to me, except for being in the band.
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this
Even though I try
I remember the first time I laid eyes on her at the airport and how I thought she was the most gorgeous human being ever. I remember our first date and our first kiss. I can still smell her perfume.
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands
Touch skin
I remember how she used to always smile every time I said her name and how she would blush when I would call her beautiful. I remember when I asked her to move in with me on our one year anniversary. It was also the night I made love to her. I still remember how fragile she was.
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
If we could only have this life
For one more day
If only we could turn back time
It could have been anyone else that got into a car accident but it had to be me and her. I remember yelling, "Babe, watch out!" and watching in terror as the car flipped over and bumped into a pole.
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
I remember crying hysterically as I saw her body being carried onto the stretcher. I was pretty banged up, but I wasn't as bad as her. I remember staring at her unconscious body, praying to God that she'd make it out alive.
Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgment's clouded
Like tonight's sky
"I love you, Liam James Payne." Those were her last words before the accident. I remember crying hysterically as the machine started beeping and as her hands became colder. I remember yelling, "No! No! This can't be happening! Don't leave me!", as I was being shoved out the way by doctors.
Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
It makes this harder
And the tears are streaming down my face
All I could hear was "Alexandra Garcia, dead at 10:45 pm." At that moment, I felt my whole world fall apart. How could the Lord let the love of my life, my soul mate, die?
If only we could have this life
For one more day
If we could turn back time
I remember sitting in the waiting room and having you guys try to comfort me. "It's gonna be okay, buddy. We'll make it through together," was all that you guys would say, but honestly you guys were wrong; dead wrong. It wasn't okay.
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
I remember going home the next day and having everything remind me of her. It still hadn't sunken in that she was gone. I fell asleep on the couch, hoping that she would come home after school, like she usually did.
Flashing lights in my mind
Going back to the time
Playing games in the street
Kicking balls with my feet
I remember looking at her lifeless body at her wake. She was dressed so beautiful and she looked so calm and peaceful. It tore me apart to not be with her. I had fallen so accustomed to spending every minute with her, that it was driving me insane.
There's a numb in my toes
Standing close to the edge
There's a pile of your clothes
At the edge of your bed
I remember when I came home after the funeral and how I looked at the picture of me and her on our anniversary and how I couldn't help but notice how amazing she looked. At that very moment, a voice in my head told me that I should join her. As I picked up the picture, all I could manage to let out was, "I'll see you soon, love," and I kissed it.
As I feel myself fall
Make a joke of it all
By the time you'll be reading this I'll already be gone. You've probably already seen my body dangling from the rope. I hate the fact that I had to end my life this way, but once Alex was gone, nothing was worth living for. I'm sorry that I had to do this, but I want you guys to forget about me and move on with your lives. I just want you to know that I'm much happier now that I'm with her. Liam xx
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
I just wanna say that this was the hardest thing I've ever had to write. I cried the whole time writing this but I actually liked how it came out. Comment so I can know what you think xx