This is my first story that I came up with myself. Please review , and tell me what you think.
347 years ago, the younger of two breathtakingly beautiful sisters turned thirteen. The elder sister, Current, had long, curly, light blond hair that framed her face, and light green eyes. The younger, Rapid, was the opposite. Rapid had short, strait, jet black hair with bangs that fell into her icy blue eyes.
These sisters lived with their father, the town cooper, in a city in ancient Ireland. In this city, sorcery was strictly forbidden in the fear that sorcerer's would become power hungry, and rebel against the king. Current and Rapid loved spending their days walking the creek in the woods in the outskirts of the village. By the time they were ten, they knew every turn, every hiding place, every food source, and every way to get where you're going via the river.
One day, when the sister's made their way around a bend, they came across a dying sorcerer. Current immediately turned away, but Rapid felt compelled to help the old man. Convincing her sister to help, they brought the old man to a tree beside the creek. The roots of the tree, having no earth between them, formed a cave beside the cool water.
"You two seem to know the river quite well. Am I correct?" he asked.
Rapid nodded. "We come here every day. Current and I love the river, and the forest."
The man seemed deep in thought. "Why on earth are you always out here? Don't your parents miss you?"
Rapid looked away. Current answered. "Our father doesn't much care about us. He's too involved with work, and he cares about buying rum more than about feeding us."
"And your mother?" he asked.
Current looked down.
"I see." He answered. "Well, I simply must repay you for your help."
Rapid looked at him. "Oh, no. you do not have to do that."
He laughed and shook his head. "It's no trouble, and I must."
He looked at the sisters. "Current and Rapid, I shale place an enchantment upon this river, and upon you. From this day forth, the river will see you as its masters, and you will have its powers at your disposal. Should one of you die, their spirit will join the river, and live as part of it for eternity, and the other will freeze in time so as to prevent the river from having no master.
"Should you both die, the river will be left without a master, and seek revenge out on those that dare attack you. All those that stand in way of the river will perish, and the river will become a beast of unstoppable power.
"So long as one of you lives, the river, and the people surrounding it, remains safe. You now call this river, home."
Years past after the sorcerer made the enchantment and the sisters were now seventeen and fifteen. Current and Rapid loved his gift, and were doing well as the river's masters. Until one fretful night, when bandits tried to poach in the forest.
The river told them of this, and the sisters rushed to help, running through the trees as fast as they could.
Rapid tackled one of the bandits as he aimed his bow at a deer. Another of the bandits rushed at Rapid with a knife. She closed her eyes, and prepared for the pain, but all that came was a gasp from her sister.
Current had jumped in way of the knife, and taken it in her side. The elder sister lay crouched up on the forest floor. Rapid's breathing became labored, and she screamed into the black night sky. The river suddenly rose from the bed, and swept the bandits away in its wake.
Rapid carried her sister to the river, and lay her down, the blond hair flowing out with the current.
"Protect the river, Rapid, and promise never to leave me without a master." Current said as the river carried her blood away as it left her body.
Rapid placed her hand to her sister's cheek as tears cascaded down her face. "I promise. I love you sissy."
"I love you too, Rapid. I will always be with you. In the river." Current closed her eyes, and her spirit faded from her body, into the river below.
Rapid sat in the shallow water, crying silent tears, watching objects float past.
The fifteen-year old looked at her sister's body as the current began to pick up. Rapid watched as her sister carried her body downstream.
And so begins my story! That was the intro to the real story, but please please please please PLEASE review!