Disclaimer: Is Snogging Fred Weasley Oh, hi? What am I doing? Oh yes, the claimer. Don't own it, wish otherwise. End of discussion. resumes previous activities

Severus Snape had a problem. A very big problem. Although, it you could consider it a very small problem…

"Albus is poking Minerva." Firenze stated calmly, like this was nothing new. Technically, it wouldn't be save for a few things. Like 1) the Albus and Minerva in question were Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall and 2) They were supposed to be over a 100 and at least 60-70 years old, respectively.

This was Snape's problem. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry opened tomorrow evening, and outside of he and the centaur, every member of the staff seemed to have been miniaturized—specifically, de-aged to about 3 years old. They couldn't teach in their conditions!!!

To make matters worse, several students had come to school early, and had also been caught in the cross-fire, so to speak. Two of them were supposed to take their very important OWL exams this year—and they couldn't even attend class in their present condition—not that there would be any teacher to teach them anyway.

Quickly dragging the 3 year old Headmaster away from his deputy, Severus looked pleadingly at his only fellow adult—who seemed quite amused at the wide-eyed stares coming from the de-aged students and teachers who had been muggle-raised. After all, no muggle would ever have seen a centaur.

"Firenze, what do we do?"

"I haven't the slightest. Perhaps you should be temporary Headmaster."

Severus groaned.

"Just what I don't need. I have no choice. Given who's on the school board, I highly doubt they'd let a centaur lead the school, especially if they have another option. I suppose this also means that you are taking over the entirety of Divination."

The centaur nodded. He knew this. Sybil Trelawney would've have co-taught with him, but that was no longer an option, as Sybil was presently trying to ascertain the fate of an annoyed looking Ginny Weasley. To look at the half-horse half-human, you would see that he was planning on laughing himself silly once in his private quarters—or as close as centaurs got.

"Firenze, can you help me out? I'll send you Fawkes, and could you write a general letter to be delivered to parents and family members—I will not be watching all of these toddlers."

"Very well." And Firenze left, clopping against the stone, much to amazement of the watching tots. Severus quickly called the Headmaster's familiar, Fawkes the Phoenix, and told him to take the letter he would be receiving from Firenze to several people. He was to visit the Grangers last, and transport them to Hogwarts—they were muggles with no mean of picking up their de-aged child otherwise.

After the firebird had gone, Severus looked around at his students and fellow co-workers in something like dismay. He had good reason for this, because a large group of 3 year olds would stir such feelings in anybody.

3 year old Harry Potter had hidden under the teacher's table in terror, and Remus Lupin, who was to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts with Alastor Moody, was trying, with help from Poppy Phomprey, the (former) medi-witch, to get him to come out. Moody, himself, seemed more intent on chasing a half-terrified, half-amused Draco Malfoy around the hall.

Neville Longbottom and Hermione Granger had taken to hiding over near Gryffindor table, where the girl could be seen talking to Neville, who looked rather blank and just kept nodding shyly. Luna Lovegood didn't seem to mind the chaos much, as she had just sat down at Hufflepuff table and was doing Merlin knows what with the nearby dinnerware.

Minerva and Albus had gotten together again, and were rough-housing, including Ron Weasley and Rolanda Hooch, the (also former) flying instructor, in the process. Herbology professor and Charms Master Pomona Sprout and Filius Flitwick, respectively, had found amusement in mock battling with silverware—thankfully, both were using spoons.

With a sigh, Severus headed towards the fireplace, hoping that Dumbledore hadn't fully disconnected the Great Hall fireplace from the floo network—he had a lot of work to do.

Severus was amazed that he had been granted such a miracle. All the parents had come the instant they had gotten the letter, and he now had a full staff for the students tomorrow. Granted, a lot of them were the guardians of the newly-de-aged staff, but still. He couldn't believe his luck. He only had to call in a couple of favors to complete the picture.

The kids had been relatively easy to handle. Most of them had gone home with a guardian, leaving only a couple left. Harry's relatives had not come, and when Severus had gone to investigate, he realized that Albus had been wrong to place the boy there to start with. Remus had no one to look out for him, especially with Sirius Black having gone through the veil last year, and neither did Moody. They had been told that their parents had to go on an extended trip, and couldn't take them.

Now he was sitting in Dumbledore's office, stroking Fawkes—who hadn't minded being made a taxi service, which he had been because the Grangers offered to teach Muggle Studies—wondering what to tell the school board. The Potions Master knew they'd have to be informed of SOMETHING. Just, what?

Meanwhile, Severus had actually opened a daycare for the new tots, especially since a lot of their guardians were now temporary teachers. Harry, Remus, Rebeus Hagrid, a half-giant who taught Care of Magical Creatures, Moody, and his own daughter—adopted though she was—Amber, were all permanent residents. The teachers would help run it, and he'd called in another favor for a permanent runner.

Now, it was just a matter of explaining to the school board, and the students, as to what was going on. He just hoped that Voldemort wouldn't come calling for a long while. Although, he hoped that Draco's father, Lucius, being Voldemort's right hand man, would explain the situation to the Dark Lord.

With a small groan at the difficulties this little problem created, Severus decided to get some sleep. After all, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

On September 1st, students did not notice anything amiss as they boarded the Hogwarts Express at 11 o'clock. As they discussed normal things, like their summers and the difficulty of Snape's Potions essay, they took no notice of the odd absence of certain people. However, it would be a whole different story upon their arrival at the school.

For one, the familiar voice of Hagrid calling over the first years had been replaced by a female. A witch with hazel eyes and—interestingly enough—pink hair was found to be calling the first years, and leading them to the boats. The only ones not to question this were the first years themselves—they had no knowledge of what was normal at Hogwarts quite yet.

Students in the upper years found themselves staring in shock when they reached the Hall. The sight that met their eyes was defiantly not normal. For one, Severus Snape was NOT supposed to be sitting in the Headmaster's golden chair, and his wasn't supposed to be sitting next to Molly Weasley either. Well, technically, he was sitting next to a 3 year old girl, who was sitting next to another 3 year old girl, who was sitting next to Molly.

Things got more confusing when a tall wizard of African descent—given his dark skin—led the first years in. Only a couple of people recognized him as Kingsley Shacklebolt. To make matters worse, in-between the various staff members—of which only Snape and Firenze were recognizable—were more three year olds.

Soon enough, the Sorting had been completed and Snape did his new Headmaster duties by starting the feast. There were no announcements—students figured there were enough that they'd been saved for later—and no little funny words like Dumbledore always did. Just a single clap and nothing more. Students began to question each other on what was going on and coming up with wild theories. This was also when they noticed missing students.

It took a Hufflepuff to start the proper theory. Rose Zeller had looked up at the table to try and get a good look at the toddlers, and noticed something. The girl sitting next to Snape, who was also helping the child use her fork on her mashed potatoes at present, had several very strange additions. These additions included wolf ears and tail and, most notably, two feathered wings. Rose had been at Hogwarts long enough to recognize the particular sight of one Stardancer Lycan—Snape's adopted daughter.

Rose, despite being in Hufflepuff, was not stupid. No Hufflepuff was, regardless of what the Slytherins said. Rose was very aware that Stardancer Lycan—her real name was Amber—was supposed to be 16 years old now. But there was no mistaking that figure, even at age 3. So what had happened?

The students shut up in record time when Snape stood to make announcements. Starting with the usual, no magic in the corridors, banned items, and the Forest, he finally started in on what the whole student body wanted to know.

"Now, technically, this year you would've been introduced to Remus Lupin and Alastor Moody as Defense Against the Dark Arts professors. This year, however was rewritten as of lunchtime yesterday. For reasons yet to be identified, every staff member save myself and Professor Firenze were turned into 3 year olds. With them were the students who had come to school early—Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron and Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood, plus my own daughter. Thusly, until such a time as they return, or an antidote can be found, your normal teachers and fellow classmates are out of commission."

With a sigh, Snape continued. "Introducing you to all your new teachers would take all night, so I will allow them to introduce themselves in their classes over the week. Several of them are staying on, but are also looking after their de-aged family, so you will be seeing a lot of toddlers running around. I have opened a daycare so they don't get in the way of classes too much—if at all—but please watch your step. They will return to normal sooner or later, but right now, we need to treat them like the 3 year olds they have become. All staff members, as well as prefects and the Head Boy and Girl have express permission to severely punish you if you mistreat the child, or are caught doing or saying things that should be kept away from little eyes and ears. Are we clear on this?"

Nods. "Great. In case your wondering, there are several children up here that don't have a teacher parent. This is because their families are no longer around, but as far as everyone here is concerned when in hearing distance; their families went on extended trips and were incapable of taking them. With that said, you are dismissed."

Severus groaned as he collapsed in his bed in the dungeons. While his new office was rather quite the walk from his usual one, he was not about to use Albus' bed. He had forgotten what Amber was like as a toddler, but he had just been reminded. Especially since the girl's memories seemed to have been altered to that of her younger self just after her parents' murder. Amber was going to have nightmares for the rest of the week, unless she aged more.

He was going to miss his Potions classes, as well. But it wouldn't be fair to have the Headmaster teaching you—or being your Head of House. Both positions now belonged to Horace Slughorn, who had been his own teacher and Head of House when Severus had been at school. He had been difficult enough to find, but it took everything Snape had to convince him to come out of hiding and take his old position while Severus was playing Headmaster.

After setting his alarm, despite the fact that Amber would provide alarm enough throughout the night, Severus sighed and wondered if the cause of this would ware off quick. Caring for Amber after her parents had gone had been nightmare enough the first time around, and he wasn't acting as Headmaster at the same time then. Now, not only was he repeating Amber's childhood, but he was running the school too.

"This is going to be one nightmare of a year." Severus muttered to himself as he drifted off.

Two hours later, Amber wailed.

There. Now, in case your wondering, I've gone and gotten myself addicted to kid fics, and time travel fics. I may or may not write my version of the latter, but this is my try at the former. However, I've given it a twist I have yet to really see. All the Hogwarts staff save Snape and Firenze (and Binns, although he doesn't count) being turned into children—a day before the school is set to open! As an added bonus, I made the hextet and Malfoy show up—reasons will come sooner or later, once I think of them and figure them into the plot—at school early and become affected too!! As for Snape's daughter—bad habit I can't seem to break, and I apologize. I've also decided to keep this as true to cannon as possible, which is why I brought in Slughorn, but the major events of HBP—like the end—will be completely ignored. But I have stayed true to OOtP, as you will notice. Sorry, although, I might be tempted to being poor Sirius back—I love Sirius!! Maybe not as much as Remus, but still…

Review please, and tell me how bad you want Sirius back, and if he should be de-aged too.

Werewolf of Suburbia