This was my exercise at writing a one shot, but it's turned into about a five shot. I guess the more the merrier for you ;) I'm dedicating this to lita_rocks, because she told me to, but she didn't know it was based on her being a jerk, so there :-p
Also, I've been forced to get one of those Twitter things (did I make myself sound old?), so check it out at IamSnoe . Maybe someone can browbeat me into updating faster ;)
Title: Waiting for the Barbarians
Rating: T for some cursing
.
She remembered the low rumbling, the vibrations coursing through her body and she had shouted and tried to run, but then nothing. Darkness had descended like a heavy cloak, pushing her, knocking her around and there had been pain, but the fear had overwhelmed everything. She was not unconscious, but dazed and her eyes swam though there was nothing to see. Words and deeds pounded through her brain at rapid pace and she lay there, blankly, waiting for them to pass.
"How could you do this to me?"
"Do you take this woman to be your wife, in sickness…"
"Nothing happened."
"Are you ever going to spend time at home?"
"I do."
"What is your problem?"
"I love you, Miley."
"I hate you, Lilly."
She jerked, unable to tolerate the words any longer. She had lived them and had resigned herself to her fate, but she did not wish to remember. The buzzing in her head slowly subsided, and with it came an almost eerie silence, punctuated by creaking and groaning that seemed to surround her completely. She clenched her fist, feeling the hard concrete under her fingertips. There was just utter darkness and she knew without light she would not stand a chance to move away from her current position. But she had to, had to move forward to find her.
Lilly pushed herself up with a groan, though she was surprised the aches in her body were minor. As soon as she moved, she could taste dirt in her mouth that she had kicked up and coughed. She was still blind and had no idea which direction she was even facing now. Lilly knelt on the concrete floor, blindly feeling her surroundings with her hands. She encountered rocks, larger rocks, some rebar, maybe the bumper of a car. There were shooting pains coming from her ankle, but the panic and adrenaline kept it at bay. She had more important things to worry about right now.
If only she could find their car she could probably get to her flashlight, but there was just no way to tell in the darkness. She reached over her head, but found no resistance, much to her relief. Nevertheless, Lilly crawled forward on her hands and knees, sweeping the floor with her hands. She hadn't been that far behind, maybe only a few feet, just enough not to have to hear the accusations and see those angry, sad eyes directed at her. Just a few feet. But then Lilly hit an obstacle, cold and smooth and wide, a collapsed concrete pillar perhaps. She sat back, frustrated, worried, terrified.
"Miley!" yelled Lilly, her voice ringing eerily in the collapsed parking garage.
"Lilly." The voice came from right beside her and Lilly jumped. She reached out to her right, moving sideways just a foot before her hand made contact with something soft. Soft and warm and familiar. The relief she felt was immense and it surprised her.
"Miles, is that you or am I feeling up a stranger?" asked Lilly, resorting to her clutch of deflecting serious emotion with jokes.
A hand pushed hers away none too gently, "Wouldn't be the first time, would it?"
Miley's voice was bitter and hurt and the sudden relief at finding her wife in the darkness was overpowered as months of hurt and anger flooded back. "Wow, Miles, even in the middle of a serious disaster you can't let it go. What do you think Dr. Paul would say to that?"
"Well, maybe if you hadn't taken forever to get ready, we could be inside and ask her!"
Lilly scoffed, "I don't think earthquakes are restricted to just one area, Miley. Pretty sure it would've still struck inside the doctor's office."
"I'm pretty sure you're an ass."
Lilly was silent for a few moments, staring at the spot she figured Miley to be. She couldn't remember exactly what had happened to them, or when, but this was certainly not what she'd had in mind when she proposed to Miley five years ago. She shook her head, though Miley couldn't see. "I'm gonna try to find a way out of here…away from you."
She moved to crawl in the opposite direction, but was surprised to find a hand on her arm, stopping her, "Please don't leave me."
"You're free to make yourself useful and look for an escape route, as well," said Lilly, bitterness tingeing her own voice.
Miley's voice was a lot softer this time and Lilly thought it almost sounded like she was crying, "I can't. I'm stuck."
"What do you mean 'you're stuck'?" asked Lilly, moving back next to her wife. Despite Miley's earlier protest, Lilly ran her hands across her wife's torso, all the way until she felt the concrete barrier she had encountered earlier. It came just to the middle of Miley's thighs and Lilly tried to push it and get her hand under it to see if she could maybe pull Miley out. Miley's gasp made her stop.
"Does it hurt?"
"No, a ton of concrete crushing my legs feels like a gentle massage. Get off me, you jerk!"
Lilly sat back again and sighed. Being with Miley lately was like going on a horrible rollercoaster ride and she had lost all patience for it. Sometimes Miley would smile at her, or give her a look like she used to, but then, as if she remembered she hated Lilly, she'd go back to this. But despite all this, Lilly knew she wouldn't leave her wife to suffer down here. No matter how much they hated each other now, they were still crazy in love – at least Lilly was.
"Look, if I can find a hole or something somewhere, I can call for help. I'm not gonna be able to pull you out."
"Lilly, they're gonna have to cut off my legs," said Miley softly and Lilly could tell she was crying now for sure. Lilly wanted to roll her eyes at her wife's flair for overdramatizing everything, but the same thought had occurred to her as well.
Lilly reached blindly for Miley's hand and found it immediately, to her surprise. "I'm not gonna let them cut off your legs, okay? Primarily, because then I'd be stuck taking care of you for the rest of my life."
Miley said nothing, but did not remove her hand from Lilly's, either. They stayed like that for a while, silent, and Lilly realized it was the longest they'd sat together, just holding hands, without bickering, for months. She pulled her hand away, "Do you still have the car keys?"
"Are you gonna drive out of here?" said Miley, that mocking undertone back in her voice. No matter how annoying she was, Lilly actually preferred this Miley to the sad, crying and scared one of just a few minutes previous. Something hard suddenly hit Lilly in the face and dropped into her lap. She picked up the key ring and glared into the darkness.
"That was my face."
"Good, I was worried I'd missed."
Lilly scoffed and moved away without another word. She was still crawling along, partially because she was worried the ceiling had caved in and partially because her ankle was bothering her more and more. They hadn't gotten too far from the car when the quake hit and she was hoping the remote unlock would still work. She pushed the button and Lilly nearly jumped with joy when the taillights of her Jeep lit up just a few yards further ahead. But the brief illumination had also highlighted how much trouble they were really in.
The entire ceiling seemed to have shifted downward by several feet and both entrances to the garage were completely blocked with debris. Lilly tried not to think about that, taking her mission step by step. When she reached the car, she hit the unlock key again, noticing the entire front part of the car had been smashed by a concrete support beam. Thankfully what she was looking for was in the trunk and it opened easily enough, though would not lift fully due to the sagging ceiling. Lilly tried to stand, but agonizing pain shot through her ankle and she decided it was better to kneel and reach inside to pull out the backpack she kept inside.
It was fairly heavy, but she managed to heft it out. The flashlight was in the front pocket and Lilly immediately turned it on, surprised at how much better she felt just having light. She panned the light across the parking garage, trying to discern if there was any sort of hole somewhere she could widen and climb out of. The destruction seemed to be widespread and nearly complete, with crushed cars lining both sides and chunks of concrete littering the open area they found themselves in. Lilly turned the light to where Miley was and suddenly she felt terrified. Before it had just been them arguing like always, but now that she could see, the seriousness of the situation hit her full force. Lilly grabbed the backpack and dragged it along as she crawled back to her wife.
"So, there doesn't seem to be a hole, but I have good news," said Lilly as she got closer to Miley. Lilly shone the flashlight across her wife's body, but the outer edges of the beam illuminated Miley's face to show tear tracks in the blood and dirt coating her skin. Lilly moved the light away, so she wouldn't have to see. Miley turned her head towards Lilly; the weak light allowed them to at least somewhat discern where the other was at.
"What?"
"My survival bag made it through!" said Lilly proudly, pulling the backpack up next to her.
"Are you serious?" asked Miley, not at all thrilled like Lilly knew she ought to be.
"Yeah, well, considering you ridiculed me for getting it, I don't think I'll share."
"Whatever, it was a stupid idea."
Lilly scoffed and set the flashlight on top of the concrete beam so the light shone out across and allowed them to see each other, "You're right, it was a really stupid idea to get a bag that'll allow me to survive for 72 hours if I'm stranded by an earthquake. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, maybe that this could happen!"
"Well, why don't you and your bag go somewhere else and have little survival bag babies! Or would Mikayla get jealous?"
Lilly looked at her wife, partially stunned and partially angry, "Seriously Miles."
She grabbed her bag and the flashlight and crawled to her right, away from Miley until she hit the row of cars. The destruction was even worse on this side, with the ceiling having smashed the cars nearly completely and Lilly leaned her back against one. She pulled open her backpack and grabbed the First Aid kit to try and do something about her ankle. She felt a sudden pang of guilt for tending to her stupid ankle, while her wife lay pinned and likely in pain over there and Lilly hadn't even really tried to help her. But Miley's words still rang in her ears and she pushed the guilt aside, instead pointing the flashlight at her leg.
She'd been wearing sneakers, which had offered little protection against falling debris and her ankle seemed to have taken the brunt of things. It was swelling up nicely and Lilly wondered if it could possibly be broken. Since there was little she could do about it now, she set about wrapping it as best as she could with the supplies she had.
"What's wrong with your ankle?"
Lilly ignored Miley and continued with her task, too angry to even want to consider conversation. She wasn't sure why she had ever let herself get talked into going to marriage counseling, especially when Miley seemed hell bent to kick her to the curb. A sudden rumbling erupted around her, weaker than before, but enough to send more debris raining down on her, making the few support beams still standing groan under the stress and weight. It was over very quickly and Lilly sat up from where she had tried to shield her body against the debris. She grabbed the flashlight shakily and shone it over at Miley.
"Miles, you okay?" Lilly called out, noticing Miley had turned sideways as far as she could to shield her head. She got no response and a sudden panic flooded her system. She cursed herself for caring so much, but knew it was futile. She had loved Miley since she first laid eyes on her in 6th grade, though hadn't really figured out what that meant until freshman year. No matter the bitterness and anger and wanting to strangle the girl, Lilly loved Miley with all her heart.
Lilly grabbed her backpack again and began the slow crawl back towards her wife. Miley was turned away from her, arms covering her head. As soon as Lilly noticed she was shaking she felt relieved knowing at least Miley was alive. She knelt right next to her wife, shining the flashlight across Miley's body to check for new injuries, but found nothing. Then she realized Miley was crying, in earnest this time and Lilly hesitantly put a hand on the girl's back.
"Miles, are you alright?"
"What do you think?" said Miley, just as biting as before, but her voice was muffled now. "I'm gonna die, trapped under a thousand pounds of rubble, with a wife who doesn't love me anymore."
Lilly sighed and sat back against the concrete beam, but close enough their bodies were almost touching. "You're not gonna die, Miley."
She said nothing about the latter part, even though she knew it wasn't true. Miley didn't want to hear it anyway. Lilly fumbled in her backpack for the extra set of clothes and pulled out the old sweater. She lightly tugged on Miley's shoulder, "Come on, Miles, lay back, you're just hurting yourself more like this."
To her surprise, Miley didn't argue and carefully moved back into a supine position, wincing as the movement put pressure on her legs. Lilly bunched up the sweater and put it under Miley's head. Miley looked at her, open and without malice for perhaps the first time in months, and though Lilly couldn't really see the blue of her eyes in the poor light, she knew exactly what it looked like.
"Thanks," said Miley softly, before she looked away again. Her eyes fell to the backpack by Lilly's side. "So, how long will this keep two people alive?"
"I thought I said I wasn't gonna share," said Lilly, though her slight smirk gave her away. She shrugged, "It's for two people, so 72 hours."
Miley seemed uncomfortable, as if the mere mention of two people had brought unpleasant images to the forefront. "Why did you get a bag for two people?"
Lilly could tell by the look on Miley's face she was afraid of the answer. Maybe in a way Lilly couldn't even blame her and she swallowed hard knowing that she had done this. "I didn't ever want to be in a position where I couldn't save your life if I had to…even if you weren't with me anymore, at least I'd know…I could."
Miley wouldn't meet her eyes, instead focusing on her hands resting on her stomach. They were silent again for several moments, before Miley spoke, "I'm gonna have to hear 'I told you so' about this damn bag for the rest of our lives, aren't I?"
"You know it," said Lilly, grinning slightly, though internally she was in disarray. This was the first time in months Miley had even hinted at the possibility that they may still be together years down the road. She didn't know what to make of it, or whether Miley even realized what she'd said, but Lilly decided not to dwell on it. She reached over and took Miley's hand in hers and was glad when she wasn't rebuffed.
xxx
Lilly was staring intensely at her cellphone, willing it to get a signal somehow. She sighed in defeat and looked at Miley to her left. They hadn't spoken in hours, though for once their silence wasn't wholly awkward. Miley had her eyes closed and was breathing steadily and Lilly wondered how bad she was actually feeling. She'd tried to shine her light underneath the beam pinning Miley and get an idea of how bad it was, but hadn't been very successful. Lilly nudged her wife lightly on the arm until Miley opened her eyes.
"Miles, do you still have your cellphone? I'm not getting a signal."
Miley shook her head, "It was in my purse. I don't know where it ended up."
Lilly grabbed the flashlight off the ledge and shone it around the area, but there was nothing but rubble and cars. She sighed again and put the light back on top of the pillar. She was considering trying to move some rubble from the far end of the garage, maybe just enough to open a hole and call for help, but she was worried about making an unstable area even more unstable.
"You can sometimes call 911 even without a signal," said Miley.
Lilly grabbed her phone and dialed, almost hesitantly. This was really their only shot and she was worried about what they'd do if it didn't work. To her surprise and excitement it seemed to dial, but then a steady beeping interrupted the call. She scoffed and nearly tossed the phone away, before remembering it was their only lifeline. She met Miley's expectant eyes with a grimace.
"It's busy. I'm gonna be fucking stuck down here forever!"
"It's no cake walk for me, either," said Miley.
Lilly stretched out her legs, wishing the throbbing in her ankle would subside. "But you're the one who wanted to go to counseling and now we're here!"
"And whose fault is it we had to go to counseling, huh? I wasn't the one shitting on my marriage vows."
Lilly glared at Miley with fire in her eyes, "Yeah, you're right, you're the perfect wife, Miley! I can't imagine why anyone would want to leave you!"
Miley gave her a look so hateful it actually made Lilly's heart constrict. "Fine, just leave then! Maybe you'll have better luck marrying Mikayla…at least you'll both be lying cheats!"
Lilly shook her head and pushed herself forward, "See, that's exactly what I'm talking about." She crawled away a few feet, but it wasn't fast enough for her and she stood, shakily on her bad ankle. The bandage seemed to be doing its job, however, and she managed to take a few tentative steps. "I'm gonna go find a pipe to knock on."
"Yeah, 'cause they put tons of pipes in parking garages!" yelled Miley, her voice angry and hurt.
Lilly kept moving forward slowly, but determined to get to the other end of the garage. She called over her shoulder, "I don't care as long as I get to be far away from you!"
There was a heap of rubble, larger and smaller pieces of concrete piled against one side and Lilly tentatively tried to climb on top of it to see if there was a hole. It was not a steady climb, especially with her ankle, but she managed to get close to the collapsed ceiling and shove some of the rubble away with her hands. She made slow progress, but that was just fine by her. After what seemed like forever a beam of light fell through the hole she had made and Lilly almost yelled out loud in excitement. She pushed herself up to glance through the hole, only to realize it was not an exit to the outside, but simply a hole to another, open section of the garage. It was, however, close to one of the open windows set in the side of the garage and Lilly hoped it might be enough to alert rescue personnel.
Lilly pulled her emergency whistle, courtesy of her survival backpack, from her pocket and put it to her mouth. The high-pitched whistle was shrill and reverberated around the small space they were in. She kept whistling, hoping someone would be able to hear it, but there was no movement outside. Lilly sat back, defeated, feeling like this might not end well for the first time since the initial quake. She wanted to cry, maybe scream or throw something, but merely swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly moved down the pile of rubble. By the time she collapsed back against the pillar next to Miley, she was feeling utterly hopeless. Lilly leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
"Is there any water in your bag?" Miley's voice was shaky, as if she'd been crying again.
"You're not supposed to drink any the first day," said Lilly without opening her eyes.
"If there's water for three days and you don't drink any one day, wouldn't it be a four day survival pack?"
Lilly opened her eyes and looked down at her wife, "I didn't make the rules, Miley."
"Can I please just have some water?" asked Miley, her voice quivering. Lilly had never been able to handle seeing her wife cry and just hearing the girl's voice like that made her insides churn. She sighed and dug through the backpack, tossing one of the water pouches at Miley.
"If you're out of water in two days, I'm not sharing mine."
Miley didn't respond, instead fumbling with the foil pouch. Her hands were shaking and Lilly could easily see Miley would only spill the water once she did get it open. She heaved a sigh and took the pouch from Miley's hands. She turned around so they were both facing the same way and slid her arm under Miley's shoulders to help her sit up. Lilly easily opened the pouch and handed it back to Miley, who drank a few eager sips, but then handed the half-full pouch back to Lilly.
"You know I can't just put the cap back on. Why did you make me open this if you didn't really want it?" asked Lilly, feeling put out and still somewhat angry.
"I just…feel sick. You drink it," said Miley softly. Lilly wanted to protest that she hadn't wanted any water to begin with and she didn't want any now, but swallowed her protest and drank the water. It had a slightly plastic taste to it and she grimaced, but realized after just one sip how dry her throat had really been.
Miley's head was suddenly on Lilly's shoulder, the girl's face almost turned into the crook of Lilly's neck. Lilly's heart actually fluttered at the contact and she realized how long it had been since either of them had really been affectionate with one another. It pained her to know, but now she had no idea what to do, except for keep her arm wrapped around her wife's shoulders as they sat, rather uncomfortably in the rubble.
to be continued