DeGroot Keep. A castle, wooden stakes, and eighteen mercenaries fighting to the death to capture or defend the former over and over again. They wouldn't be bothered by that concept, really, had they been fighting for gravel instead of an ancient Scottish fortress that was mysteriously unsieged and uncaptured whenever it got sieged or captured. Every stay in the medieval landscape felt pointless and unproductive, especially since nobody was getting paid for their hard work even though the Administrator's voice ringing through high-tech speakers proved that their employer was watching them killing one another.
During every ceasefire, the BLU Soldier could be heard for kilometres around supervising his team's « in shape staying session ». His RED counterpart would have done the same, was he not busy patrolling his base's deserted remparts. Thus, BLUs could be heard panting as they ran circles around their instructor, whose barking would make anyone wonder whether he actually saw the efforts his team was putting up with through his helmet.
Apparently, he did, as he motioned for the joggers to stop and step aside. He slowly walked towards the resupply closet, standing up straight. « Private Yellow-Hat ! » He bawled at the Engineer, who he saw as fiddling with scraps of metal. « This is a battlefield ! You wouldn't want to not show the world how World War II should be thought like centuries before it happens, now would you ? »
« For your information », coolly replied the soft-spoken grease monkey, « We wouldn't have to go back to sticks and stones if you hadn't caused the wrath of that goddamn roomate wizard of yours. »
Before loud protest could ensue, the Engineer resumed « Besides, while you were teaching already overtrained mercenaries how to hold a sword the 'American way', I ... » He paused, pushing a button on a stone PDA. The gadget he was working on began rotating, faster and faster, until a blue, circular votex appeared on top of it. « … Have managed to recreate a teleporter and, thanks to Spy, it will lead us right into the RED base as soon as this ceasefire ends. »
Soldier was silent for a moment, until he heard Heavy giggling behind him. Snapped out of what could have turned into humility, he shouted « Congratulations on following MY instructions, Engie ! At least you're good at something ! » Earning invisible rolled eyes from his goggled ally. « Your next mission is to verify whether your invention works or not ! Hop onto it, now ! »
Engineer was about to point out that this was strictly forbidden by ceasefire rules and that a make-do teleporter couldn't be trusted with the teleportation of human beings in its prototype form, when Soldier shoved him onto it, causing his disparition accompanied by the familiar blue flash following every teleportation. « And now we wait and lend an ear. » Said the patriot, effectively turning his left hear towards the castle, using his left hand like a funnel. « Any second now. »
The whole team carefully observed the citadel. « Any … Second now. » Repeated Soldier. After some time, Heavy got bored and decided to eat a couple of Sandviches. As he opened the resupply closet, he looked down, his eyes bearing an expression of confusion, then of distress.
« Little teleporter. » He called out. Soldier bid the others to not look at Private Fatso and instead focus on the soon to be cries of pain of Engineer which would come from the castle. « Little teleporter. » Insisted Heavy, earning similar answers. Eventually, he walked up to Soldier and forcibly turned his head towards the teleporter. « Little, little, LITTLE teleporter ! »
The stone contraption was now reduced to a small wooden crate, a poorly designed Red-Tape Recorder lying next to it. « Little RED Engineer must have had good idea of making Sapper before teleporter ! » Declared Heavy. « Engineer is gone ! »
« Mission begins in sixty seconds. »