Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar – The Last Airbender or any of the characters.

Sorry if my english sucks :/ My mothertounge's german - So it'd be really nice if you just leave a comment if you find a mistake, so i can fix it

1. Before their Break-In to Lake Laogai and after the memories have returned – Chapter 1

(Watch the scene when they try to get Jets Memories back and look out of the window it's dark outside. And when they're at Lake Laogai the sun shines again, so there was about ½ day between the scenes or even more and after this timeskip Katara & Jet are nearly always together, standing next to each other. And honestly i don't think they spend the whole 'missing time' getting to Lake Laogai. I still cling to my hope that Jet and Katara talked with each other about everything)

"So Lake Laogai! Great now we know where Appa is!", Aang says cheerfully. Sokka looks not as happy as Aang. "What is it Sokka?" "Well we don't know where this Lake Laogai is?" "Maybe Jet remembers it?", Smellerbee suggests. "I … I don't know if I can.", I answer. "What if Katara tries to heal Jet a bit more?", Sokka asks. "We can try but I don't know whether it will work again.", sighs Katara. "You're running out of power, aren't you?", Aang asks Katara with a concerned look.

I guess he's her boyfriend now, even if I could never imagned it. It seems like I have to forget the feelings I still have for Katara. She should be happy. I had my chance. Now it's 'Aangs turn' to make her smile.

"No that's not... It's just that it was a long day. I'm tired and maybe it happened enough for today.", Katara replies. "You're right, let's rest in the worst city ever … again.", the girl named Toph says sarcastic. "Calm down Toph! It's just one more night, ok?!", Sokka adds fast. "Alright I was just really happy to leave."

We sleep in the wood cottage, Smellerbee, Longshot & me were sleeping in the last nights before I was taken by the Dai Li. It's big enough for 4 more people.

I'm sitting on my bed. Everyone seems to be already asleep but I'm still awake. I can't sleep. There are just too many thoughts keeping me awake. I feel like I might get a headache. I shortly wonder whether Katara would be okay if I woke her up but I discard the idea in an instant. It wouldn't be fair. She needs to rest like everyone else. So I try to concentrate on something else. I try to picture lake laogai in my thoughts but I still can't figure out where it is.

Suddenly I hear a voice from the girls-room. The door opens. Katara stands in the doorway. The bright moonlight shining through the window frames her silhouette. I hope she doesn't see me. Not because I don't want to talk to her but I don't want to keep her up all night. I'm worrying everybody enough already especially Katara. But I can't turn my head away from her. Her hair is open and not like usual tied in the braid and the hairloopies. It looks even more beautiful on her. I try to remind myself that I have to forget her but at least right now I'm failing miserably.

"Can't sleep?" "What?! You... you saw me?" Altough I try to keep my voice low, i sound like a shrieking bird in my ears. "Yes, but just because I was looking for you." "You we're what?" "I was looking for you, because I thought this was not only a hard day for me but also for you." "But..." "Jet it's not like I can really forgive you for what you've done to me. But I realized that it's useless to cling to hatred. So what about a second chance?" "Where is this coming from so sudden?" "I talked with Smellerbee. She told me a lot about what happened after we left. And that you just came here to change your life because of our rela... er...past we had together." "And I thought you were going to say relationship.", I smile at her. "That's not for discussion, ok?" I would have expected her to react angry but she stays completely calm.
"Yeah, I understand. You're together with Aang now, aren't you? I leave after we find Appa. I won't try to end your relationship."
"ME & AANG? You really thought I...?", she chuckled quietly. "You are not in a relationship?" "Of course not! He's like a little brother to me. I really love him but not in that sort of way you were thinking of. There was never any guy I loved like that since …", she pauses, "Better talk about something else." "You're right."
"Actually... I didn't came here for this embarrassing talk. But I wanted to apologize for my behaviour earlier on." "Why do you want to apologize? I'm the one who did everything wrong. I betrayed you only for my revenge. I didn't wanted to use you but I did. I'm the one who's supposed to apologize." She wipes my objection away. "It's ok now" Our eyes meet and we begin to giggle out of nowhere.

Suddenly we hear an unexpected sound. For a second I think we were caught but then we realize that it was just Sokka who makes some weird snoring sounds.

When I look at Katara again, she blushes. "Well maybe I better go and try to get some sleep.", she whispers, and turns to her room.
"Katara" "What?" "Can't we... Can't you... Would you mind staying by my side tonight?" Katara looks confused. "We can go to another room...", but Katara interrupts me, "Jet you pervert! How do you come to think about something like that?!" "I was actually just thinking of talking. We don't have to sleep side by side." "Oh"
Katara blushes again. "Sorry, I, I was just..." "It's ok, I probably should have said it differently." Then she steps forward to me and gives me a soft slap in my face. "You're still Jet."
I lift myself up and we head for the third of the 4 rooms. The room has 3 beds and one table with seat cushions. Katara goes to the bed near the window.

"So... you wanted to talk."
I sit down on one of the other beds. I nod. She looks very insecure to me, what kind of makes me feel insecure too. What is going on with me? Incertitude is a word that usually is the opposite of my character. But ever since the brainwash I am extremly insecure.
"Well..." I begin "I thought about you lots of time after you left me" "After you betrayed me and I left you.", Katara interrupts. "Right", I feel like a total jerk "I also thought about the people in the village. You know shortly after I wiped out the village, the villagers returned and started rebuilding it. On the one hand I still wanted to eliminate them but on the other hand I realized I was wrong when I saw them. I saw small children who were drowned in tears. And that reminded me a lot of myself. I thought about what I did to you, Aang and Sokka. Everything I had done felt wrong. I should have never used you for my purpose. And I should have listened to you. But I was so full of thirst for revenge. I also thought about my past. I know I can't undo anything I've done. I had taken the lifes of other people altough it were soldiers, I shouldn't have done that. I realized that I abandoned any feeling of guilt long ago. But it was coming back. I came to the conclusion that I had to change things to go on. And also to save the other freedom fighters. They shouldn't end up the way I did. So I was trying to come up with a solution. But I realized soon that it might be too late for me therefore I decided to leave everything behind. I can't remember seeing the Duke so sad ever since he joined the freedomfighters."
"But what about Smellerbee and Longshot?", Katara interrupts me "The two refused to leave me. I tried to convince them to stay with the others but it didn't worked. I decided to leave for Ba Sing Se. We arrived at the ferry and I actually believed that maybe there still was a chance for me. But well ... I met this guy." "Zuko" "You know him?" "He's a firebender and he hunts Aang, Sokka and me ever since we found Aang in the iceberg." "I figured he was from the firenation", I mumble to myself.
"But why was he on board? Why did no one noticed?" "He looked like an earthkingdom citizen and I don't think that the thought that he might be a firebender ever crossed anyones mind. I actually teamed up with him and stole some food to share it with everyone." Katara raises an eyebrow: "Didn't you said you wanted to change?" "What was I supposed to do?! Everyone just became the leftovers while the captain ate all sorts of food." Katara doesn't seem to be happy with this but she looks less angry then some seconds ago. I pause and wait for her to say something but she just stays quiet and I decide to just go on. "Well when we arrived I wanted to ask him whether he wanted to join the freedomfighters."
"What?" "Please let me finish first, I didn't disolved the freedomfighters. I left them but that never meant I wouldn't return one day." Katara sighs "He disagreed rigth away but when he returned to his uncle I saw something. The old man ordered had ordered some tea but unlike everyone elses his was hot and steamed. He must have been a firebender." "That must have been Iroh.", Katara says. "I don't know they called each other Lee and Mushi all the time. But yeah so I discussed my discovery with Smellerbee and Longshot. Both of them told me not to worry but I ignored them. I didn't wanted to kill Lee or Mushi or Zuko and Iroh as you call them but I wanted to hand them over to the police. Therefore I needed a proof. Well long story short, in the end I was arrested and brainwashed."
There's a long silence before I raise my voice again "But during all that time I also thought a lot about you and what you mean to me. I never could figure it out and I still can't. But I know for sure that you're really important to me. You opened my eyes in a lot of ways and I'm really thankful for that." Katara blushes once more.
"Katara I know that everything I've done was wrong and I rather should..." I can't finish my sentence, because Katara grabs my hand and I'm overwhelmed with confusion. "Everyone makes mistakes. And not everything you did was wrong. Imagine what would have happened if you didn't rescued us. Maybe I wouldn't be alive right now." She presses my hand and now I think I blush as well.
"I love you Katara." Her eyes widens. "Jet", she whispers and when I glance at her, her eyes are filled with tears. Before I realize what i am doing i kiss her on her forehead. A tear runs down her face and she sighs: "Didn't you recognized it Jet? - Did you think I hate you? - I never hated you. I was only hurt and felt angry, but even though I really wanted to at that time I was never able to really abandon my feelings. I..." Another tear makes it way down to her chin. I try to clear my mind but thoughts are crossingmy mind in huge waves and I'm unable to do anything but keep on staring at her. In an instant Katara leans towards me and kisses me. The first clear thought crosses my mind and somehow I feel complete again for the first time ever since I lost my parents. The moment seems to last forever although in reality only one second passes by and Katara turns away. I try to figure out what she is thinking. Is she sad or happy? Did I hurt her again? She turns back to me, gives me a little smile and then walks over to her bed. Before I can say anything she whispers: "Sorry, I think it's better if we both get some rest now. I..." It seems like she wants to say something else but then she just tells me to sleep and cuddles herself in her blanket.
I lay down and try to eliminate all of my troubling thoughts and it works surprisingly well. Soon we both fall asleep.

"What are you doing here?", asks Sokka when he wakes me up. "I just couldn't sleep and..." " And even more important, what are you doing alone with my sister in a room?" "I slept here, Sokka. No more, no less, ok?!", Katara grabs Sokkas shoulder.
"But you're my little sister I have to take care of!" "Sokka I'm old enough now!"
Aang comes in. "What's going on here?" "Sokka is acting like an idiot.", Katara answers. " What is the matter this time?" "He thinks that something has happened between me and Jet last night." "What?" "Nothing has happened ok?! We just talked. We had to talk about some things that are none of your bussiness! he broke my heart not yours ok?!", Katara is now clearly getting angry at Sokka and Aang and I realize how helpless I actually am.
The feeling of hope that Katara gave me the day before scatters inside me. I blend out the voices of Katara, Sokka and Aang and try to calm down the upcoming panic. Suddenly Aang taps my shoulder: "What is wrong Jet?" I look up and realize that Katara and Sokka are still fighting. It seems like Aang didn't participated in the dispute and was actually trying to calm everyone down. Aang gives me a strange look. It must be obvious by now that the recent events left more than scar on my soul. Smellerbee and Longshot enter the room and altough still sleepy, come towards me. "It's alright Jet. No need to worry."
It's not the first time that something like this happened to me. It happened once before when we searched the wood and came across a village under a firenation attack. It was not the first time we fought actual firebenders, beforehand we mainly faced non-bender soldiers. We have always avoided the few firebenders we came across so far since I decided it wasn't worth the risk. But unlike before this time we saw them killing innocent civilians. I honestly can't remember a lot but I know that we won somehow. But in the aftermath I didn't spoke a word for about three days. At least that's what Smellerbee and Longshot told me when I got better. If I try to remember those days my memories are usually blurred and full of pain. The few times I can remember something, I am overwhelmed by the memory of the day we fought against the firebenders and the day I lost my parents. The two melt together and I have to distract myself to keep my head clear. I was responsible for too many lifes to let anything slip from my hands.
I realize that I drifted away again. Smellerbee's talking to Aang. I can't focus enough to understand them, they are just too quiet. I lift myself up from the bed i sat on the whole time to show them that i'm ok. They turn towards me. "Jet! Are you alright?!", the shock that flashed through Smellerbees face seconds ago is still visible. I tell myself to stay calm although I just want to freak out and tell them whatever they want to hear as long as they leave me alone and stop worrying.
I hate myself for being weak. I always acted as if I was unbreakable. No one was worried about me. I knew it was best and at some point some of my own worries vanished. Thinking about it I guess, i lost my sense of guilt as well around that time.
I know it's not worth calling it an apology for being merciless but I never really felt like being merciless was something bad. Not until Katara and Aang showed me I was wrong.
I look over Smellerbees shoulder. Katara and Sokka are still arguing. I shake my head slightly: "Sorry. It was just..." I can't really find the words. "Your parents?" Aang asks and I am surprised for a second. "Yes, yes you're right." "I know how that must have felt. But it's ok now. And just look around. You may have lost your parents but you're not alone. We're here and then there are the freedomfighters of course" I interrupt him "Thank you" I never thought that he would become so mature since he, Sokka and Katara left. And with my mind clearing up I give him a nod "You really grew a lot." We exchange some looks and I think he knows what I meant. Smellerbee seems satisfied with me being more like I am used to and gives me a smile.
For several reasons everyone decides it'd be the best to leave Katara and Sokka alone for some time (not a long time though) before stepping in. I honestly doubted that this would work but after a relatively short time the two calm down. Maybe siblings just have to argue from time to time.

Our group decides that it might be our best chance to stick to the method of healing. Katara and I are sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by the others. She pulls out some of her water and I try to concentrate again. And after some time has passed, some pieces are starting to fall back into place and I'm able to remember how to get to Lake Laogai. It isn't far from the city, so we decide to go by foot after we left the wall behind us.

I really want to talk to Katara the whole time. But I can't really make up my mind. According to the plan, we separate after we found Appa and I just don't know what to do about that. Should I ask them whether I could join them and leave Smellerbee and Logshot behind? Or should I just forget about Katara? I'd love to tell someone about my struggle but I don't think that there's anyone who could understand. Maybe Katara but it's obvious that Sokka is trying his best to keep her away from me.

And finally we arrive.

So this was chapter 1. Please don't kill me for my english... My first language is still german. I hope it's good enough to read

And yes I KNOW that Jet doesn't seem like his usual self that much but I think that the brainwash changed him on a lot of levels. I mean who would stay the same after such an event?!

I'd love to hear your opinion on the story so it'd be great if you leave a comment