The Misfits vs. the Viper, Special Edition!
Disclaimer: GI Joe and the Misfits aren't mine. Red Witch owns Althea, Xi, and Trinity. The Starr twins are mine. The other Misfits belong to Marvel.
Hello! L1701E here! This is technically, the first Misfitverse story I had ever written, although chronologically, it is set after "X-Men, meet the Starr Brothers". It was originally inspired by a GI Joe episode but it evolved into an original adventure. It's not my best work, but it was written back in my early days as a fanfic writer, so I have grown since then. Anyway, enjoy this little blast from the past!
Chapter 1: Introduction! Meet the Sensational Starr Brothers!
(The Pit)
One beautiful day in the Pit, the Misfits, the GI Joe-trained team of mutants that fight for good, were celebrating. They had recruited two new members: Twin brothers from Los Angeles who were as opposite as night and day. They were also celebrating a new toy the Joes built for them: A "headquarters" where the mutant teens could hang out and have fun. They affectionately referred to it as "The Misfit Clubhouse". It was a red brick building about the size of a firehouse. It had two stories, and inside was plenty of things to do. It had a dartboard with a picture of Cyclops on it (courtesy of Lance), pictures of the Misfits on the walls, various other things, and even a Kiss pinball machine (thanks to one of the new members). Wanda Maximoff, aka the Scarlet Witch, was at a pool table. She was learning how to play pool from one of the new members. He was a handsome young man, around her age, with a mane of long wild black hair and intense brown eyes. He wore a pair of blue jeans with holes cut at the knees, white hi-tops, and a Kiss t-shirt. He also had black biker gloves and a black studded punk bracelet on his right wrist. His most noticeable feature, though, was his strange birthmark. It was a perfect 5-pointed star over his right eye. It made him resemble Paul Stanley a little bit.
"Alright, Wanda. The whole point of the game is to sink more balls than your opponent. You need careful aim, and patience." Wanda smirked at the teen.
"Craig, I'm sure you haven't played this game much. You don't have much patience." The hexcaster quipped. The teen glared at her angrily.
"Don't ever make fun of me." Craig growled.
"No wonder you got the codename Darkstar, yo." A hunched-over kid with long dirty blond hair laughed, wearing a black t-shirt and green jeans. He was watching TV with a girl who had long black hair with blue streaks in it, wearing a blue tank top, black jeans, and her trademark gloves, shell necklace and Chinese coin earrings. "Hey, babe." He nudged the girl. "That guy really knows how to make a good time terrible, huh?"
"Shut up, Toad!" Craig snapped. "You want a pool cue run through you?!?!"
"Craig, calm down!" The black-and-blue haired girl ordered. "He didn't mean it!"
"Stay out of it, Althea!" Craig snapped at her.
"He wasn't trying to make jokes about you, Craig. Right, Barbecue?" A very large teen wearing overalls and a blond Mohawk asked a red-headed Joe. The two were grilling burgers.
"Yeah Craig." The Joe smiled, helping the large teen with the barbecue. Darkstar grumbled under his breath. "Your brother isn't like this."
"My brother is a moron!" Darkstar snapped angrily, his right eye flashing purple. "He thinks he's a musical superstar!"
"Awwww, I'm hurt bro." A playful voice said. The source slid down the fire pole. He looked exactly like Craig, only his star birthmark was purple, and his look was rather glam-influenced, with purple jeans, a Kiss t-shirt, a shredded purple mesh sleeveless shirt over it, leopard-print boots, and teal fingerless gloves with fringe hanging out of them. He also wore long armbands with purple and black tiger print on them. Whereas Craig's brown eyes always shone with intensity, this one's brown eyes sparkled with mischief and playfulness.
"At least I don't look like a 1980s video refugee, Paul." Craig smirked at his brother.
"My fashion indicates my love of having fun, brother." Paul snickered.
"Hard to believe those two are related, Freddy." Barbecue quipped to the large Mohawk-wearing teenager.
"Indeed." Freddy Dukes, aka Blob, agreed. "They are very interesting. They look the same, but are different as night and day. They did live different lives before they were reunited."
"Yeah." Althea laughed. "Craig Allman Starr, the Darkstar, slept in boxes all his life and Paul Stanley Starr, the Starchild, slept in a gold-lined bed."
"Real funny, Wavedancer." Craig grumbled, his right eye flashing purple. "Not my fault I had to scrounge, fight, and suffer in the streets of LA all my life! My stupid parents, whoever they are, abandoned me and left me in the hands of a jerk foster father and indifferent mother! Not just that, but I had to find out that I had a twin who lived the good life!"
"Not my fault that I was found by a well-off toymaker!" Paul laughed, patting his twin's shoulder. "Besides, we have it made here. You get to live in a real home for once. Although the X-Men did live in a nice mansion."
"The X-Men are snobs! They want the strongest mutants for themselves!" Craig argued. "You saw how disappointed they were when they found out we joined the Misfits! Especially that blond gal you have a stupid crush on. As well as that Southern redneck, and the red-haired snob, and the princess, and the Valley Girl!"
"Hey, Tabitha's cool. So is Rogue in that 'cute-goth' way. Jean's nice, Amara's sweet, and Kitty's cool." Paul blushed. "Besides, they dig me. I got letters back from them today. They even sent a couple of pictures."
"Let me guess, you ain't showin', right?" Toad grinned, while Althea giggled.
"Oh yeah." Paul grinned. "Let's just say you won't see them on the Misfit family album."
"Oh heaven help us." Wanda groaned. Starchild laughed.
"Gimme a break, Wanda." Paul winked. "Not my fault the ladies find me irresistible. Tabitha had a lot of trouble keeping her hands off me. All the girls did. I don't blame her. Being the rocker I am has its advantages."
"Burgers are ready!" Fred cheered. "Get Pietro and Xi off the court over there!" Fred pointed to a silver-haired kid and a snake-like mutant with long blond hair. Pietro was wearing a black t-shirt with a silver lightning bolt on it and blue shorts. Xi, the snake-like Cobra creation, wore a Michael Jordan Wizards jersey and long black pants.
"I'm too fast!" Pietro dribbled, using the super speed his X-Gene had granted him to easily pass Xi's defense and make a basket.
"Not fair, Quicksilver!" Xi snapped. "We agreed to not use our powers!"
"I crossed my fingers." Quicksilver grinned, running a hand through his white hair, grinning. Xi smirked.
"Paul told me a very interesting saying…" Xi laughed as he and Pietro faced off again.
"What's that?" Pietro laughed, dribbling. Xi turned invisible. "Hey!" He looked around frantically. "Xi! Xi! Where are you hey!" The ball suddenly flew out of Pietro's hands, dribbled itself, then flew into the basket. A grinning Xi turned visible.
"I believe it goes, 'Don't get mad. Get even.'" Pietro was about to make a snappy comeback when…
"Fellas! Burgers!" Blob waved to them.
"I'll get you back, Xi." Pietro playfully threatened.
"I'll be waiting, Quickie." Xi pitched him the ball.
"I hope you kids like my burgers." Barbecue grinned as he handed the Misfits each a burger. "Save a couple for Lance. He'll be back in a second."
"Where is the cat-loving rockhead?" Craig asked.
"He went to get his jeep repaired, Darkstar." The Joe fireman said. "After you took a sledgehammer to it."
"Not my fault. I warned him not to call me 'Starface'." Craig smirked. He loved destroying things. "He asked for it." Xi looked at him in a confused manner.
"He didn't mean to insult you." Xi asked the former LA gang member. "You had no reason to destroy his beloved jeep."
"Where I come from, insults meant death." Craig explained. "He was lucky I didn't kill him."
"You don't live in the streets anymore."
"Yeah, but that street mentality is hard to get rid of." Paul laughed. "Don't worry about it, Snakeman."
"Right." Xi took a bite of his burger, and he had a weird look on his face, as he turned red.
"Xi, you okay?" Wanda asked. Xi opened his mouth and a stream of flames flew out.
"Cool!" Paul smiled. "Do it again!"
"These burgers are burning hot!" Xi exclaimed.
"No kidding." Althea sighed. "Barbecue always made them extra hot. Last time, they burned the plates they were on."
"I like them." Blob ate his burgers happily.
"I don't believe it." Quicksilver drawled. "Blob has a cast-iron stomach as well as a cast-iron body. Beautiful."
"Speaking of crazy things, where's Trinity?" Paul looked around. "I haven't seen them all day."
"They went somewhere with Dad." Althea remembered. "SHIELD Headquarters."
"I feel sorry for him." Craig mocked. "I mean, the crazy sailor stuck with his three crazy daughters."
"He took those two total babes with him. One had a quiver full of spears and the other had red hair." Paul remembered fondly.
"Lady Jaye and Scarlet, Paul." Blob reminded the Kiss fan. "Remember? Jaye was one of the Joes who found you."
"Hey, I wanna know something." Paul looked over at Wanda. "There's Scarlet and then there's the Scarlet Witch. Has anyone got you two mixed up?"
"Nope." Wanda simply said.
"Cool." Paul smiled. He then whispered to his brother.
"Man, no wonder you dig her." He whispered. Darkstar blushed, his face contorting to anger.
I do not have a crush on her, Starchild! Darkstar snapped telepathically through the mental link he shared with his brother.
Yeah you do! You can't hide anything in your mind from me. Starchild quipped back telepathically.
Well, I just saw those pictures. Darkstar smirked evilly, continuing the telepathic conversation. Starchild's face paled. Just kidding.
I hate you. Paul mentally pouted, cutting off the link.
"Hey!" Lance entered the "clubhouse" grinning. "I got the jeep fixed. It looks great."
"Lucy, he's home!" Paul called out, doing an impersonation of Ricky Ricardo. Lance shot a glare at Craig.
"Sledgehammer the jeep again, and you will get it."
"Call me 'Starface' again, and you'll be sledgehammered!" Craig spat.
"It was a joke!" Lance cried.
"It wasn't very funny." Craig scowled.
"Boys, calm down." Fred ordered. "Maybe it would be best if you two ignored each other for a while."
"Fine by me." Lance smirked. Barbecue gave the Misfits their burgers and drinks. The mutants sat on the long couches and talked amongst themselves.
"Hey! I got an idea!" Paul jumped up from his seat. "Wanda, My dear brother's been teaching you to play pool, right?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well, I'll bet that you'll beat Craig in a game of pool."
"Hah!" Craig laughed, leaning against a wall. "Wanda could never beat me! She is an amateur."
"Oh really?" Wanda smirked. "I did learn quickly. I think I'm ready. Unless you don't have the guts."
"I have the guts." Craig raised his head.
"Let's do it then." Wanda walked to the pool table and grabbed a cue. "Well?"
"Ten bucks says you will." Toad laughed.
"Go on Darkstar!" Paul laughed.
"You say you can beat her. Put the money where your big mouth is, Craigy." Lance snickered, receiving a glare from the mutant ex-gang member.
"Grrr…" Darkstar growled, walking to the pool table and grabbing a cue.
"I say Wanda will win." Althea cheered.
"Darkstar's experienced. No offense, but he's got her beat." Fred said matter-of-factly.
"Wanda can hex Craig to miss." Pietro grinned.
"Darkstar knows trick shots. He hasn't taught Wanda any yet." Xi added. "He showed me some of them."
"Shh…" Barbecue shushed the mutants. "They're about to start."
"You'll be beaten, Wanda." Craig threatened, racking the balls.
"Let's raise the stakes." Wanda grinned. "If I win, you gotta take me out on a date."
"WHAT?!?!" Craig snapped. Paul knew that secretly, Darkstar wanted this. "Ok…" He calmed down and smirked, trying not to blush. "If I win…"
"Make her wear a chicken suit!" Paul yelled. He narrowly dodged a purple laser from his brother's right eye. "Sorry. Sheesh!"
"You gotta…hmm…Go hex Beach Head."
"That's it?" Wanda asked in an are-you-serious tone. "Hex Beach Head? That ain't much."
"Give him a break, he doesn't have much experience with this kind of thing." Paul grinned.
"SHUT UP PAUL!!" Craig snapped angrily.
"Alright, let's just play." Wanda got ready to fire the first shot. She pocketed a ball in the break. "I've been practicing, Craig." She smirked. She ended up pocketing every ball. Poor old Darkstar never got to shoot. "See you at eight, honey." She sat down, and blew him a kiss. A blushing Darkstar growled. Paul got up and ran to his brother.
"Somebody's gonna get some." Paul laughed. Craig threw a punch, but the self-proclaimed superstar ducked. Roadblock, the GI Joe heavy machine gunner who tended to speak in rhyme, walked into the clubhouse.
"Hey kids."
"Hey Roadblock!" They all said. Craig grumbled.
"Darkstar, why do you frown? It's too good a day to be down." Roadblock asked Craig.
"Craig has to date my sister!" Pietro grinned. "She whipped him in a game of pool."
"How was I to know she was practicing behind my back?!?!?!" Darkstar put a fist in Quicksilver's face.
"Calm down!" Toad and Xi got ready to hold the two back.
"Well, the first piece of advice I can give you about a date, is to not be late."
"That makes me feel so much better." Craig grumbled. Paul snickered.
"I wonder how she got so good…" Paul asked innocently. The wheels in Craig's head began to turn in realization.
"YOU!!!" Darkstar snapped angrily, pointing at his twin brother. "You helped her practice!"
"I may have played a couple games with her." Starchild grinned. "I was just trying to get to know the gang better."
"I will kill you!!" Darkstar lunged at Paul, but Barbecue, Roadblock, Lance, Toad, and Xi were holding him back.
"Cover his eye, guys!" Althea loudly reminded, putting her hand over Darkstar's glowing eye. The eye couldn't absorb light under the hand, so Darkstar couldn't use his eye laser. Nor could he use his hypnotic abilities. Paul's eye flashed purple as he stuck out his tongue. After Craig calmed down, the gang released him.
"It didn't matter anyway, guys. I'm invulnerable to Craig's powers. He's invulnerable to mine, too." Starchild sighed.
"Twin brothers, twin powers." Toad groaned. "They both have eyeballs that double as purple laser cannons, and they can hypnotize people by looking at them."
"Ever since I met the Starr brothers, I became confused." Xi scratched his head. "I can understand why they are twins. They look exactly alike, except for the colors of their birthmarks. However, why are Pietro and Wanda twins? They don't look alike."
"There are two types of twins, Xi: Identical and Fraternal." Lance explained. "Paul and Craig are identical twins. They look exactly alike. They're often given rhyming names, like Timmy and Jimmy. Wanda and Pietro are fraternal twins. Fraternal twins don't have to look alike. They don't even have to have the same gender." Wanda nodded.
"You weren't kidding, Toad! Lance is a regular encyclopedia." Paul looked at Todd in shock.
"Told you Pauly." Toad grinned.
"Craig, you must learn to control that temper." Barbecue sighed. "I know it has helped you on the streets, but this is different."
"I like my temper." Darkstar's eye flashed. "You got a problem with that? I can make it into a problem if you want that."
"You also have a problem with threatening people, brother." Paul sighed. "I know you had it hard, but look what we got here. We got new friends and a real home."
"I know." Craig said. "Recondo didn't need to take us in." Recondo was one of the GI Joes who found the Starr Brothers. When they joined the Misfits, Recondo took them in. "Why did he take us in? He could've left us to rot."
"Because the Joes aren't like that." Lance said. "They help out all people, not just mutants. We told you the story of Moreauseau, and the Joes were there."
"Horrifying stuff." Roadblock shook his head. "After that, we became determined to never let anything like that happen again. Not all mutants are bad. For example, Paul's crazy and you're just mad." Roadblock laughed playfully.
"Hey!" Paul retorted jokingly. "I ain't crazy. Just a great guitarist." Craig growled at Roadblock's remark but said nothing. He always tended to take lighthearted remarks as grievous insults. Suddenly, Roadblock's Joe-Com watch beeped, indicating he was getting a call.
"Hello?" The Joe answered it.
"How do the kids like the 'clubhouse', Roadblock?" General Hawk's voice could be heard on the other end.
"It's still standing, so they must like it." Roadblock smiled. The kids playfully punched his arms with a collective "Hey!"
"We've gotten a mysterious message from someone known as 'The Viper'."
"The Viper? Someone named Viper? And you make fun of Todd's, Paul's and my codenames, Craig." Blob smiled.
"C'mon, Fred." Craig groaned. "I mean, Toad? Starchild? Blob? A codename should strike fear into the hearts of opponents. Darkstar, my codename, struck fear into the hearts of Los Angelites." Darkstar smirked. Paul laughed quietly.
"You came up with the name because of the black star over your eye." Paul reminded. "My codename came from the man I was named after. Paul Stanley's stage persona was called 'The Starchild', naturally. I thought it was only logical. I think a codename should be reminiscent of the person and/or abilities underneath. Todd's comes from his toad mutation, Fred's well…a real-life blob, no offense."
"None taken. Go on." Fred waved.
"Anyway, Althea's comes her water-manipulating abilities, Lance from his earth-manipulating powers, Wanda's is from her love of red and her hexbolts are like mutant witchcraft."
"How'd you know red's my favorite color?" Wanda asked in amazement.
"You wear red all the time." Craig told her. Paul ignored it all and continued.
"Pietro's comes from his speed and silver hair, Xi…How'd you get yours?" Paul turned to the blond snake-like mutant.
"I was Cobra's creation. I was known as #11. Xi, my name, comes from XI. 11, in Roman numerals." Xi explained. Starchild nodded, understanding.
"Ah." He said. "Daria, Quinn, and Brittany have psychic abilities and they're triplets. So they became Trinity."
"Are you done explaining the codenames, Paul?" Hawk's voice asked from Roadblock's Joe-Com.
"Yeah." Starchild sighed. "I am."
"Finally, he shuts up." Craig rolled his eyes.
"We had a call from this 'Viper' a few minutes ago." Hawk repeated.
"What does it have to do with us?" Lance asked.
"Maybe we have fans. At least I might have fans." Pietro quipped.
"You have fans?" Starchild raised a thin black eyebrow. "You can't even play guitar."
"I got incredible looks!"
"I got style!" Paul claimed. "Not to mention my brother's in love with your sister."
"Leave me outta this!" Craig blushed, snapping at the silver-haired egomaniac and black-haired superstar. Paul smirked at Craig.
"Think about it Maximoff. If Craig marries Wanda, we'll be brothers-in-law!"
"I DO NOT WANT TO MARRY WANDA!!!" Craig's face turned bright red. Althea laughed and nudged Wanda's shoulder.
"Looks like you got a suitor." The water-manipulator whispered to the hex-caster. Wanda sighed.
"I guess I do…" Wanda shook her head.
"Oh no!" Pietro shook his head and arms. "Nooo way! Noooooo way! No way your anti-social brother is marrying my sister!"
"I DON'T WANT TO MARRY WANDA, YOU MORONS!!!!" Craig yelled at the top of his voice, his eye glowing a dangerous purple.
"Romance, destruction, and comedy. God, I love being a Misfit." Toad smiled.
"Amen to that, brother!" Lance, Fred, and Xi agreed.
"I'M NOT FINISHED, YOU NUTS!!!!" Hawk yelled over the Joe-Com. The Misfits and the Joes immediately shut up.
"Now, as I was saying, "The Viper" relayed a message to the Joes, but appears to be directly to you Misfits. Here's how it goes…"
Who is this "Viper"? What is the message? Does Craig, the Darkstar, have feelings for Wanda? (A/N: Craig: HEY!!!) Find out in part 2 of: The Misfits vs. The Viper! Suggestions for part 2 welcome!