Warning: THIS CONTAINS CRACK AND SPOILERS FOR THE LAST HARRY POTTER!!! IT MAY BE DEADLY!!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
A/N: This was made at 2 in the morning by three sugar high and crap tired girls in the back room of the house. It is made to make fun of all of the cliques of fan fiction. Yes. I want you to flame me.
My name is Amazon Okagogo. I have raven black hair down to my ass with rainbow highlights that are natural. My mood changing eyes go from blood red when I'm angry to deep beautiful blue when depressed. I live in the Feudal Era Japan and have kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and a shirt that insults your mom. I'm half demon and full demon at the same time. InuYasha and Sesshomaru are my brothers and I'm distantly related to Koga through a family relative. Naraku my ex-boyfriend, is trying to get me back by wooing me in the highschool gym. My father raped me as a child and I have scars across my back from when he beat me. But they are so pale you can barely notice against my Miami tan. My ex-ex-boyfriend Tuxedo Mask also raped me, but I still love him. InuYasha and Koga stopped caring about Kagome and salivate over me when they see me walk by in my kick as Converse, tight ass jeans, and my shirt that insults your mom. Sesshomaru loves me so much that he is in a twisted revenge filled plot against Naraku that takes place on a highschool football field conviently located on the roof. Sesshomaru wants me to marry him even though I'm halfbreed/full demon/elemental witch/goddess and it goes against every belief he has. It's because of my kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and my shirt that insults your mom in glittering sparkling words. Miroku gave up his perverted ways and his monkhood so he could worship me in every way possible. Sango doesn't really care because she wants to be my best friend. But I don't want her to be mine because pink and green kimino clashes with my kick ass Converse, my tight ass jeans, and my shirt that insults you mom in glittering sparkling letters. Kagome went back to Modern Era Japan because I can see jewel shards and Kikyo went and died in a ditch. I have more power in my little pinky then Sesshomaru, Naraku, and InuYasha combined and Inu's Tetsaigu has nothing on my Kiratasku. I have an elemental wolf that turns into a fire breathing underwater dragon when ever I need to fly to places. My wolf, Fireragula, talks to me but no one understands her, but everyone wishes they could talk to her because she makes the best jokes, is never wrong, and has sarcastic wit. When I was five years old and being raped by my dad, I befriended a blind Miko who is also part ninja. Her name is Hiraguloda, she likes to drink coffee. Hiraguloda's mom was raped by a demon so she is also part demon even though her Miko powers should purify her. Then one day, we were walking through the forest with killer demons and homicidal animals, not that we care because we could kill them, in our kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and our shirts that insult your mom in glittering sparkling letters that stretch across our 38DD chests, we found a dying blue eyed blonde haired german stable boy and I healed him within 2 seconds with my magical healing hands. He was shy, modest, and totally into us with our kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and our shirts that insult your mom. He soon joined us all in our long, endless journey that gets no where. Sesshomaru one day convinced me to finally go back to his castle in Europe because I needed to get away from Naraku's plan to kidnap me from my friends the blind Miko and german stable boy and make me his concubine. In Europe they all have funny accents but I picked it up right away and all the boys say it sounds real. Even if I pronounce my R's. In the castle there are funny looking servants with really big eyes and ears that wear tea cloths as clothing and human servants that take classes on how to be servants and they have long sticks that they point at eachother and say latin mumbojumbo. One time a boy said "Explain arms" at another boy and white stuff came out from the tip of his stick. I was eating in the Great Hall in my kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and my shirt that insults your mum when Sesshomaru walked up to me and said, "I have a secret." He knelt down on one knee and grabbed my thigh and looked into my mood changing eyes (which were amber with purple polkadots and green stripes in surprise) "My name is Dumbledore," he shaked his mane of white hair, "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but people also call me Bond, James Bond. I am a 007 agent that works for the American government." He pulled his .45 pistol and placed in my open palm "I need you. Badly." "Why, Sesshomaru, I never knew about your secret identity of a 300 year old man that has sex with the Transfiguration teacher manipulates a poor boy's life before even being born that will result in his eventual death, but it's okay because he comes back to life in a Christ-like resurrection. Please remind not to cheat on you again with german stable boys, InuYasha, Koga,. Naraku, Miroku, Hojo, little wizarding boys, a fish named Nemo, your evil twin Uraohsses or your evil cousin twice removed Sesshiepoo." "Enough!" Sesshomaru/Dumbledore/Bond, James Bond/Luis Viton/Napoleon/George W. Bush/The-artist-formally-known-as-Prince shouted. "I need you to bombard the economy plunging Voldemart with the CEO/Ring Leader of the Yakuza Gang Voldemort also known as Voldiepoo (not related to Sesshiepoo) and his dominatrix girlfriend Lucius Malfoy. He is a ferocious man who can not kill a baby but managed to take over the entire ministry in one day." "This reminds me of the time when…"
FLASHBACK
I was battling Buffy, Zelda, and Xena the Warrior Princess for the fate of Middle Earth. A cute blonde Elf who goes by the name Orlando Bloom in my kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and my shirt that insults your mom. I shot fire from my finger tips because I am a halfbreed/full demon/elemental witch/goddess who can control time in all 10 dimensions. Orlando pulled me into a passionate kiss and asked Captain Barbossa to marry us on our pirate ship with gay pirates in the middle of Middle Earth. Then Sauron in his quest for the perfect Visine trampled Frodo and Sam in their middle of their love tryst and came head on at me. I threw a hurricane/tornado combo while Fireragula the elemental wolf breathed fire from her throat at SubZero who decided to go mortal combat on my tight jean clad ass and Zelda and Xena the Warrior Princess fell off a cliff and tumbled into the sea. This horrible moment was followed by the death of my lover and Captain Barbossa, Buffy, the gay pirates, Sauron, and SubZero when my hurricane/tornado combo went out of control.
END FLASHBACK
"But Sesshomaru/Dumbledore/Bond, James Bond/Luis Viton/Napoleon/George W. Bush/The-artist-formally-known-as-Prince I can't! What if my powers spiral out of control!" "Here, I will give you this necklace that will allow me to come when you call and can control your powers." "Oh thank you Sesshomaru/Dumbledore/Bond, James Bond/Luis Viton/Napoleon/George W. Bush/The-artist-formally-known-as-Prince!" The necklace glowed with an eerie purple/green/salmon colour but in reality it was a ruby/emerald/turquoise/crystal/diamond gem.
FAST FORWARD IN TIME BECAUSE I CAN DO THAT
I stood in a dark, dank, dpressingcave in my kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and my shirt that insults your mom with Voldemort. His noseless attire was siriusly freakin me out man (I had just returned from my trip from the 70s for Most awesome Weed) when Voldemort, "Wait Amazon Okagogo I must reveal my true form because your tight ass jeans act as a truth serum on my split-seven-way soul." "Oh not again" I whispered to myself. Voldemort whipped of his How May I Help You Vest? And had a almost nude peep show with physcdellic colors sparkles and a creepy themsesong. He pointed his arms out beside him and said, "I. Am. Sailoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor. Moon! And in the name of the moon, I shall punish you!"And these are my Death Eaters!" He pointed at the cloaked people surrounding me who each ripped off and flung their How May Help You? Vests and shouted
"Sailor Venus!Sailor Mercury!
Sailor LuciusSailor Mars!Sailor Jupiter!"
"Oh, no, your pretty sailor uniforms are distracting me because so PRETYY!!!!!" "I know, aren't they fabulishious?!" Sailor Lucius said, flipping up his rainbow skirt, flaunting his rainbow thong. She gripped the necklace and said, "Come to me, my love," and InuYasha, Koga, Miroku, Kagome, Sango, Hojo, Draco, Harry, the blind miko Hiraguloda, the german stable boy, Naraku, her dad, Tuxedo Mask, SubZero, Orlando Bloom, Xena the Warrior Princess, Zelda, the gay pirates, Barbossa, Sam and Frodo, Buffy, Dumbledore/Sesshamaru/othernames and anyone else I screwed into the mattress burst through dark, dank, depressing cave wall which was conveintently located in the middle of Voldemart's basement, and mosh pitted Voldemort/Sailor Moon and his Sailor Scouts to death and all they Voldemarts across the land crumbled into the Underworld where Satan/Pluto cried. "And now, I, Amazon Okagogo, has saved the world again with my amzing half breed/full demon/elemental witch/goddess powers that can control time in the 10 dimensions."
Then two days later after her award ceremony for being the Best Person Ever in the History of the Universe, Amazon Okagogo fell off the Empire State Building located on a cliff in the Bermuda Triangle in the year 3030 where she walked away in her…kick ass Converse, tight ass jeans, and her shirt that insulted your mom/mum in the glittering sparkling letters never to be seen again.
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!