Hey guys, Lunamon810 here. And with me I bring the insaneness when I challenge myself to write something Hunter X Hunter related with Hisoka and Illumi. I must admit this is the most...random, unorganized mess I have ever written. And I love it. xD It was a good stress reliever to write, despite the crap it turned out to be. I needed to write something funny, and to me, this did it. And Hisoka is female for contest reasons. So hope you enjoy~ Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter X Hunter!
"Oh come ooon Illumi~ It would be fun!" Hisoka pleaded. He stood in front of the emotionless Zoldyck, grinning. "We could even get some wine~ Come on Illumi, you need to relax! You've been working too hard lately, you need to let your hair down Illumi~" Hisoka decided to be a smart-elec and pulled one of Illumi's pins out for him, which he was doing since he just got home from assassination.
"I told you, we are not going to York New City just to 'let loose'."
"Aww, come on. You know you want to get out of here and do something fun."
"I honestly don't."
"Please? Just one night. I promise I won't do anything~ Except for pay for it all, of course."
"Why do we have to get a hotel room anyways?"
"Because there's no reason to let loose without making a mess, and what's the use of relaxing if you know you're going to have to clean it up?"
Illumi sighed. "One night. And don't expect me to drink. I don't drink your wine."
"Beer?"
"I am not drinking, Hisoka."
"Aww, fine. Whatever you say Illumi~"
Two nights later the two were in York New City, three floors from the top of their hotel. Illumi walked into their room, and realized how much money Hisoka had spent on the room almost immediately. The two beds were huge, there was a huge tv, and a long table. There were several fancy looking chairs, and there was a hot tub against one wall. The bathroom was huge as well. Illumi noticed a long line of different types of alcohol on the table and turned to look at Hisoka. "I told you I wasn't drinking."
"That doesn't mean I couldn't bring it~"
"No, but there is a drinking limit, and if you drink all of that then you will over-drink by about a hundred gallons. But do whatever you wish, just don't get me involved. He said, going and sitting down on one bed. Hisoka sat down directly across from him.
"Well, what do you wanna do first?"
"I didn't plan on doing anything. You seemed to have all of the planning taken care of."
"Are you hungry, Illumi?"
"Well, I haven't eaten in six hours, so yes."
"We can order room service then~" Hisoka said, picking up the phone and ordering, then shoving the phone at Illumi, who took it and ordered, then hung up. Hisoka got the wine glasses and poured two glasses of wine.
"I told you I am not drinking."
"Oh come ooon Illumi! It's too weak to do anything with just one glass!" Hisoka said, handing him the glass. Illumi finally gave up and nonchalanty started sipping on his wine, along with Hisoka. Soon enough the food arrived, and the two ate while watching tv on the flatscreen. Hisoka tripped over one of his own shoes on the way back from the table with the two new glasses of wine, one of which Illumi was about to refuse. Wine splashed on both of them, but Illumi managed to keep from getting it on the bed.
"Well, I suppose I'll take a shower now." Illumi said emotionlessly, standing up and walking to the bathroom with a new set of clothes, closing the door behind him. He locked the door, not trusting Hisoka enough not to. He set his clothes down, got his towels, then began taking his shower. When he was done and redressed, Hisoka took a shower of his own. When he came out, Illumi realized something. He looked completely different. His hair was much longer now, and the shape of his body was slightly different.
"And why do you look like that?"
"I figured I would show you what I really look like, Illumi~ We've known each other for two years now, and I figured you would want to know what your best friend really looked like~"
"You are not my friend. You were my partner in the hunter exam. Now explain to me why you would hide your gender." He looked at Hisoka, whose eyelashes were longer.
"Well it's quite simple, really. First of all, who would expect that? You always have to keep people guessing. And nobody seems to be afraid of girls, no matter what they do. So I figured I could pull it off~"
"So that's why you always seem so out of place." Illumi said nonchalantly, as if this was a casual conversation. "Well then. How do you do it?"
"Nen, of course~"
"And how do I know you didn't just put worse alcohol in my cup than wine? Or that you aren't just using nen now?"
"Would you like me to prove it?"
"No."
"Then you must believe me, or else you would want proof~ You aren't mad at me, are you Illumi?"
"There's really no need to be."
"Well then. Here." She handed him another glass. "Drink it. You'll like it, I promise."
"It smells too strong to be wine."
"Just drink it~" Hisoka said, tipping the glass up so that the liquid poured down Illumi's throat. Illumi knocked the glass across the room, it shattering against the wall. He wouldn't respond to Hisoka for a while, until Hisoka asked if he'd like to go somewhere, where she asked to go he wasn't quite sure. All he knew was he felt eager to leave, and the two ran down the hall to leave. They knocked several people over, and someone grabbed Illumi's arms.
"Sir, you're going to have to come with me-" Illumi kicked him in the gut, him slamming into the wall. The two ran until Hisoka led him inside somewhere where the music was blaring and multicolored lights flashed. Hisoka handed Illumi a shot glass, which though part of him told him not to, he tipped back and drank anyways. After a few minutes, Hisoka pulled Illumi onto the dance floor and used his bungee gum to get Illumi to dance, then Illumi started dancing of his own drunken free will. Hisoka danced alongside her drunken 'partner'.
"We're great!" Hisoka cheered.
"Of course we are." Illumi said, smirking. The next thing to happen shocked them, even through the drunk mess that was their minds. They spun too close, and Hisoka grabbed onto Illumi for balance but swayed to close and kissed him. Instead of jerking away, Hisoka pulled Illumi closer, mentally grinning as she kissed Illumi, and when he finally pulled away. Illumi blinked hard.
"Did you just do what I think you did?"
"Of course~"
"How drunk do you think I am?"
"Drunk enough not to kill me?"
"I am a Zoldyck. And you just snapped me out of whatever you had me in."
"I'll die pleased." Hisoka said and ran, Illumi following close behind. Suddenly Hisoka stopped and tossed more alcohol down Illumi's throat, and kept running, until the alcohol made him forget what just happened. Hisoka smirked and grabbed her friend's shoulders and started dancing again. Illumi, physically, not mentally, started dancing too. Hisoka carried his friend back to the hotel room later, grinning.
When Illumi woke up the next morning, Illumi grabbed his head, which pounded with a sharp headache. He squinted, because the light hurt, and looked over at Hisoka. He looked down and saw a trash can full of his previous consumptions. He tossed needles at Hisoka, who ducked quickly. "What happened last night?"
"You drank a bit too much~"
"I drank a bit too much? Or you forced a bit too much down my throat?"
"A little bit of both~"
"What happened while I was under it's affect?"
"Well, let me show you again~" Hisoka jumped over onto Illumi's bed and kissed him. Illumi pinned him to the wall a moment later with needles and started using him as a dark board, emotionlessly.
"Worth it~