Late one evening Darry arrived home from his second job and found Sodapop sitting on the floor, his back against the couch and his head in his hands.
"Soda?" He'd whispered, because it was dark and quiet and he suddenly felt anxious. "What's wrong? What are you doing?"
Soda just shook his head and sniffed loudly.
"Where's Ponyboy?" Darry asked, louder this time as worry began to grow.
"He's here." Soda mumbled and Darry moved round to the front of the couch.
There was his little brother, wearing his cotton pyjamas and breathing slow and even, fast asleep. It took Darry a second to notice the baseball bat Pony had clenched in his fist, his body curled protectively around it and his cheek pressed against the smooth wood.
"I went out with Steve after work," Soda began before Darry could open his mouth to ask for an explanation. "I forgot to call and I forgot you were working and I never thought –" He stops abruptly and takes a deep breath. His voice is husky with emotion when he continues. "He must've been so scared. He's just a kid. A little kid."
Soda puts his head back in his hands and Darry can't think of anything to make it better so he gently slips the bat from Ponyboy's grasp and places it carefully back in the hall closet. He tells Soda it's alright but they both know it's not alright because their brother was scared and alone in the dark house and both of them are imagining Pony standing nervously by the front door, turning the lock then a second later unlatching it again or waking up from a nightmare and crying out to no one.
"Maybe I can quit the warehouse…" Darry says slowly, knowing it's not an option but wanting to make his brother feel better. Darry knows how the guilt can eat at you.
"Shut up Darry, that's bullshit," Soda snaps harshly. "I'll do better. It won't happen again."
"You're only sixteen, Soda," Darry tries to placate but knows he has chosen the wrong words even as he is saying them. "You're not his guardian."
"Of course I am!" Soda yells this time, loud in the silent house.
"Wha?" Ponyboy mumbles, raising his head from the couch and looking around in confused half-sleep. His fist closes on nothing but air and panic shoots across his face. At that moment Darry feels like the worst big brother in the world.
"Shhh it's alright Pone, I'm here now," Soda soothes, cupping Pony's chin in his hand.
"You're back," Ponyboy mumbles, his head sinking back into the cushions and his eyes already starting to close. There's no anger in his words, no accusation or blame.
"Yeah, I'm back. I'm so sorry, kid. I'm never gonna leave you here by yourself again, ok? I promise."
"Kay…" Ponyboy sighs as he drifts off again. Darry knows Pony has already forgiven Soda, won't mention tonight again and will probably have forgotten all about it in a few days' time. Soda, on the other hand…
"Hey Pepsi-Cola, I'm sorry too." Darry purposefully uses their Dad's old nickname for Soda, hoping it will earn him a smile. But Soda just nods, keeping his head bent over Ponyboy like he's praying.
After that night Soda stops going out with Steve so much after work. When he does go, he makes Steve call by the house first and throws Pony into the back seat or calls Two-Bit and makes him promise to stay at their house until Pony falls asleep. Darry wonders how he could have ever believed that Soda wasn't just as much Ponyboy's guardian as he was.