Wax Strips

Rating: T (for cursing)

----Ok so I've decided to start this random Bleach drabbles fanfic. The rest of the chapters will consist of totally random happenings in human realm and shinigami realm with Bleach characters. I just feel like it'd be fun to write about :) It will contain yaoi so if you got a problem with it please do not hate on me or this fic. I warned ya.----

This is beyond one of the most randomest stories I have ever written. But I had to write it cuz the idea just wouldn't stop pestering me.

Hope you guys like it.

"Mnh…Renji your legs are very un-beautiful." Yumichika randomly stated while he, Ikaku, Renji, and Toshiro were lounging in Ichigo's family room, waiting for said homeowner to arrive with Matsumoto and Rukia from their shopping trip. Ichigo was the one selected to shop with the ladies this time around and thus, the four other shinigami's were awaiting their return.

"What the hell? They're not supposed to be beautiful! They're muscular man legs!" Renji shouted as he defended his legs' honor. He was just sitting there watching tv in his comfy shorts and that damn Yumichika just had to ruin his relaxing moment.

"Exactly my point. They need beauty to be added to them to make them the perfect pair of man legs." Yumichika continued his banter on Renji's legs with a thoughtful gleam in his dark eyes.

"Ikkaku what the hell is he talking about?" Renji looked towards the bald fighter with utter confusion.

"Ch, hell if I know." Ikkaku rolled his eyes and resumed watching the 'television'. Since his arrival to the human realm, Ikkaku has been soaking up the shows like a sponge, completely fascinated with the power of the remote control and its ability to change chanels while not being connected to the magic box.

"Don't be stupid Ikkaku, you know as well as I do that Renji's legs are not beautiful. Something must be done to fix this atrocity." Yumichika flipped his hair, stood up and exited the family room.

"What is he up to?" Toshiro questioned to his remaining shinigami friends.

"Who knows. It's Yumi; let the beauty queen be." Ikkaku waved off Toshiro and grabbed his soda from the table top.

Renji looked down at his bare legs; the unruly hairs that graced his toned appendages looked completely fine to him. The poor guy didn't know what Yumichika was yammering on about. His legs were great! Right?

"What's he holding?" Toshiro, who didn't take his cold eyes off of Yumichika's arrival, glanced inquisitively at the box said man was holding.

"This, my lovely Captain Hitsugaya, is the beauty perfection kit that all men should have!" A reiatsu of complete ecstasy and excitement bombarded Ikaku, Renji and Toshiro as Yumichika bounced into the family room carrying a blue and white box. Upon Yumichika's arival to the human realm, he has been preening his looks with facial scrubs, masage oils and other beauty products that he has found most endearing and thus has a collection of lotions and-

"Sally Hanson All Over Body Wax Hair Removal Kit… What the hell?!" Renji roared and backed away from the ecstatic Yumi and practically sat on top of Ikkaku.

"Damn get off of me!" Ikkaku tired to shove the red head onto the floor but failed miserably since Renji was wrapped around the bald man like saran wrap.

"Oh it's not that bad! It sounds terrible but it really doesn't hurt!" The over enthusiastic Yumichika emptied out the contents of the waxing box, letting the wooden sticks, wax container and strips fall out. Renji grudgingly released Ikkaku and resumed his hopefully safe position on the couch.

"Matsumoto and Rukia use it all the time and their legs are as beautiful as they come! Completely smooth and white…just like mine!" Yumi pulled up his pants leg and showed his audience the smooth planes of his leg. "See? No hair! Isn't it just glorious?"

"No. Kinda weird if ya ask me…" Renji snorts out as Ikkaku and Toshiro touch Yumichika's pristine white flesh.

"It is really smooth…" Toshiro noticed as he used his palm to search for hair remains and finding none.

"Yeah, I kinda like it Yumi. So this is what you've been doing over here with the girls lately?" Ikkaku grinned at his partner as he ghosted his large hand over the woman-like leg.

"Oh will you two just shut up." Renji grumbled out as he crossed his arms in a huff.

"Poor poor Renji sitting in the tree, not k-i-s-n Hisagi." Yumichika sing-songed as he went to heat up the wax.

Ikkaku and Toshiro roared with laughter at Renij's sour expression and maddening blush.

"GUYSSSSS! He's on a fucking mission so leave me alone!" Renji punched Ikkaku in the arm and glared at the small white haired captain.

"Let's give him something to look forwards to for his return eh?" Ikkaku smirks at his red headed friend.

"By getting my legs waxed? Fuck no! I've heard Matsumoto complain about the burning pain afterwards!"

"It's not that bad y'know!" Yumichika's voice sauntered over from the kitchen as the microwave beeped, signaling the now heated wax.

"Yes according to this box it says it lasts up from 4-8 weeks." Toshiro said as he analyzed the box. "Now that I think about it, a lot of guys are doing this sort of thing. Supposedly it feels better when they wear jeans and their sexual partners like it because it is easier to kiss a smooth leg rather than a hairy one."

"What the hell Toshiro?! Since when have you become an expert on this?!" Renji looked towards the small captain, eyes wide.

"Well… Ichigo says that he likes his legs smooth so I shaved mine and…it really does feel better. And when we have sex, I'll admit that I enjoy having his smooth legs wrapped up with my own."

"Ohhh Captian is getting on the frisky side! I like it! Besides, it really is a good idea Renji. You do have very hairy man legs that are not beautiful." Yumichika pointed out with a smile on his pretty face.

"Hisagi will like the surprise of not sleeping with a red haired chewbacca." Ikkaku laughed out and pushed Renji onto the floor.

"Omph! Fuck, you guys are all assholes!" Renji rubbed his legs and pulled them towards his body.

"Stop being such a baby and let me do this! Ikkaku hold him."

"You got it Yumi!"

"No! Stop it! Stop!" Renji tried to wriggle his way out of the stronger male's arms and failed.

"Toshiro, wax!" Yumichika ordered and Toshiro handed him the warm wax which was spread on Renji's leg.

"Ohhhhhh fuck fuck fuck…." Renji froze in fear as the hot substance was applied thinly to his right leg.

An evil grin plastered itself on the normally happy Yumichika's face as he slapped the paper wax strip on the wax and rubbed it into Renji's leg. Yumi looked up and captured Renji's eye with a satisfied glint and ripped the paper.

"You will now become beautiful!"

For the song that Yumi was singing, I know the lyrics (and I know how to spell kiss) but I had to change it so that it'd rhyme and work with Hisagi. Hahaha.

So this was the first chapter of many more to come. The chapters won't be related to one another.

This thing is gonna be rated M (for a good reason if you're a yaoi fan).

Hope you all liked it.

Review?

~ChaosGarden