Disclaimer: not mine
Summery: During HG my take on what would have happened if Joshua's blood hadn't worked.
AN: another sad m/l romance piece. Sorry I will write some nice fluffy stuff soon to make up for it I promise. Oh and The song is "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush. The song is between * marks *.
*Pray god you can cope
I stand outside this woman's work,
this woman's world.*
"What do you mean that Joshua isn't immune?"
"I'm sorry Max, but you said he was the first, they might have not had the technology to make him immune to the same diseases as you."
"So what are you saying, what does this mean?"
"Logan's dying Max. There's nothing we can do to stop it. Now we are just trying to make him comfortable." Tears silently slipped from Max's eyes as she tried to digest the information she had just been given.
"Can I see him?"
"Yes, but you should know that he will be getting worse, and that he doesn't have long."
Max slowly walked into the hospital room. She saw Logan lying in the bed struggling to breathe hooked up to tons of machines keeping him alive. She didn't see how this was possible. Logan was strong, she might be genetically enhanced, but he was the real strong one. He was always there ready to catch her when she would fall. Now he needed these damn machines to stay alive. And in a few hours, there were no machines that would be able to even do that. And she simply didn't understand. How was it possible for such a strong man to now be so weak. But she knew that it was her fault.
*Oh, it's hard on the man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the father.*
"Max."
"Hey Logan. I have some bad news."
"It's ok Max they already told me, I have a few hours." As Logan said that more tears escaped Max's eyes.
"I am so sorry Logan."
"Max this isn't your fault I grabbed you remember."
"Maybe, but I shouldn't have been near you in the first place."
"Max please you have to know that this is in no way your fault." He looked at her pleadingly. "Please don't blame yourself for this. I want you to be happy, I want to die knowing that you will be happy."
"How could I possibly be happy Logan, you wont be there." She had always feared what she was about to say, she thought that if she did it would just lead to more pain. But now she knew she had to. She couldn't let him die without letting him know.
*I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left*
"I should have told you a long time ago Logan, but I always told myself that it was never the right time, when it was something else got in the way. That was just an excuse I had almost two years to tell you and I didn't because I was scared. I love you Logan, I always have. You are everything to me, you are my strength, my hope, my heart, you are the you reason I fight, the reason I live. All that I have in me that is good I have because of you. And truthfully I don't know how I can keep this up, how I can continue to live with such pain without you there." Logan reached out for her hand and she instinctively pulled away.
"Max honey," Logan had always wanted to use pet names for her and figured someday they would be together and he could. Now he had very little time to use terms of endearment with Max. He had so little time to do any of the things he wanted to do with Max. "I am dying anyway, please let me touch you." He reached for her hand again and she didn't pull away, instead she intertwined her fingers with his. "I love you too Max, and I want you too keep living, and to be happy."
"How?"
"The same way you did before you met me, only now whenever it hurts just remember I love you. Not even death will stop me from loving you Max." He pulled her closer and she leaned down next to him. He reached up with his other hand and gently stroked her cheek. This was advancing the virus in him, making him die more quickly, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything else as long as he was touching Max.
*I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things I should've said That I never said,*
They stayed like that for a few minutes. Then Logan felt something it was hard to describe, but it felt like he was slipping away. "Max, It's almost time."
"Logan no!" Max sobbed out and collapsed. She was sitting beside him, but instead of leaning over him her head was resting on his chest. He reached up and slowly stoked her hair. "Please don't leave me, not yet."
"I wish I could stay with you forever Max, but it's time for me to go." He cupped her cheek with his palm and dragged her face close to his. They kissed, the kiss was gentle and soft, but urgent, and filled with love. "Will you love me for the rest of my life?" She shook her head.
"I'll love you for the rest of mine." She said gently as he started to shake.
"I love you Max." He managed to say quietly before the beeping on his heart monitor became a flat line. In the end Logan died the way he always knew he would, loving Max with her loving him.
"Goodbye Logan." Max whispered then laid her head back down on his chest.
*All the things we should've done That we never did, All the things I should've given But I didn't Oh, darling, make it go, Make it go away.*
Max eventually left the hospital when the doctors told her she had to. She went back to her place, but it didn't feel right. She went to the space needle, but still she felt there was somewhere else she needed to be. She didn't even realize where she was going until she somehow found herself picking the lock of Logan's apartment. She walked in and walked through each room. There were so many memories of them everywhere. Where they met, or would eat, or that time they flirted in his workout room, where they had kissed, where they cooked pasta tricolore together. She walked through to his bedroom slowly removed her shoes and slipped under the covers. She could smell him on the sheets and pillow. She knew this is where her heart had wanted her to be, so she stayed right there, not sleeping just lying there. And she didn't get up for days she just let time pass.
*Give me these moments back Give them back to me Give me that little kiss Give me your hand.*
She finally got out of bed three days later. But only because Original Cindy had forced her to. She went to the funeral and Original Cindy another friend always stayed close to her because she kept zoning out so badly that she would just fall right over. Facing the reality of the situation was just too hard for her to do all of the time. Everything still seemed so surreal. She just couldn't believe he was gone.
*I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left*
The only man she would ever love was gone forever. She would never see him again never look into his eyes, hear his voice, touch him, kiss him. And she didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to live without him.
*I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things we should've said That were never said. All the things we should've done That we never did*
And she felt completely empty inside. Like she had died too. And in a way she had. The only thing she felt now was the pain of him not being there.
*All the things that you needed from me All the things that you wanted for me All the things I should've given But I didn't*
And nothing could ever make it better.
*Oh, darling, make it go away Just make it go away now. *
AN: sorry for having another sad one again. Please review it is my first real song fic (I have used a song or two in a chapter of a story but never had one for the hole story.) Even if you hated it just review to let me know you are reading it.
Summery: During HG my take on what would have happened if Joshua's blood hadn't worked.
AN: another sad m/l romance piece. Sorry I will write some nice fluffy stuff soon to make up for it I promise. Oh and The song is "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush. The song is between * marks *.
*Pray god you can cope
I stand outside this woman's work,
this woman's world.*
"What do you mean that Joshua isn't immune?"
"I'm sorry Max, but you said he was the first, they might have not had the technology to make him immune to the same diseases as you."
"So what are you saying, what does this mean?"
"Logan's dying Max. There's nothing we can do to stop it. Now we are just trying to make him comfortable." Tears silently slipped from Max's eyes as she tried to digest the information she had just been given.
"Can I see him?"
"Yes, but you should know that he will be getting worse, and that he doesn't have long."
Max slowly walked into the hospital room. She saw Logan lying in the bed struggling to breathe hooked up to tons of machines keeping him alive. She didn't see how this was possible. Logan was strong, she might be genetically enhanced, but he was the real strong one. He was always there ready to catch her when she would fall. Now he needed these damn machines to stay alive. And in a few hours, there were no machines that would be able to even do that. And she simply didn't understand. How was it possible for such a strong man to now be so weak. But she knew that it was her fault.
*Oh, it's hard on the man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the father.*
"Max."
"Hey Logan. I have some bad news."
"It's ok Max they already told me, I have a few hours." As Logan said that more tears escaped Max's eyes.
"I am so sorry Logan."
"Max this isn't your fault I grabbed you remember."
"Maybe, but I shouldn't have been near you in the first place."
"Max please you have to know that this is in no way your fault." He looked at her pleadingly. "Please don't blame yourself for this. I want you to be happy, I want to die knowing that you will be happy."
"How could I possibly be happy Logan, you wont be there." She had always feared what she was about to say, she thought that if she did it would just lead to more pain. But now she knew she had to. She couldn't let him die without letting him know.
*I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left*
"I should have told you a long time ago Logan, but I always told myself that it was never the right time, when it was something else got in the way. That was just an excuse I had almost two years to tell you and I didn't because I was scared. I love you Logan, I always have. You are everything to me, you are my strength, my hope, my heart, you are the you reason I fight, the reason I live. All that I have in me that is good I have because of you. And truthfully I don't know how I can keep this up, how I can continue to live with such pain without you there." Logan reached out for her hand and she instinctively pulled away.
"Max honey," Logan had always wanted to use pet names for her and figured someday they would be together and he could. Now he had very little time to use terms of endearment with Max. He had so little time to do any of the things he wanted to do with Max. "I am dying anyway, please let me touch you." He reached for her hand again and she didn't pull away, instead she intertwined her fingers with his. "I love you too Max, and I want you too keep living, and to be happy."
"How?"
"The same way you did before you met me, only now whenever it hurts just remember I love you. Not even death will stop me from loving you Max." He pulled her closer and she leaned down next to him. He reached up with his other hand and gently stroked her cheek. This was advancing the virus in him, making him die more quickly, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything else as long as he was touching Max.
*I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things I should've said That I never said,*
They stayed like that for a few minutes. Then Logan felt something it was hard to describe, but it felt like he was slipping away. "Max, It's almost time."
"Logan no!" Max sobbed out and collapsed. She was sitting beside him, but instead of leaning over him her head was resting on his chest. He reached up and slowly stoked her hair. "Please don't leave me, not yet."
"I wish I could stay with you forever Max, but it's time for me to go." He cupped her cheek with his palm and dragged her face close to his. They kissed, the kiss was gentle and soft, but urgent, and filled with love. "Will you love me for the rest of my life?" She shook her head.
"I'll love you for the rest of mine." She said gently as he started to shake.
"I love you Max." He managed to say quietly before the beeping on his heart monitor became a flat line. In the end Logan died the way he always knew he would, loving Max with her loving him.
"Goodbye Logan." Max whispered then laid her head back down on his chest.
*All the things we should've done That we never did, All the things I should've given But I didn't Oh, darling, make it go, Make it go away.*
Max eventually left the hospital when the doctors told her she had to. She went back to her place, but it didn't feel right. She went to the space needle, but still she felt there was somewhere else she needed to be. She didn't even realize where she was going until she somehow found herself picking the lock of Logan's apartment. She walked in and walked through each room. There were so many memories of them everywhere. Where they met, or would eat, or that time they flirted in his workout room, where they had kissed, where they cooked pasta tricolore together. She walked through to his bedroom slowly removed her shoes and slipped under the covers. She could smell him on the sheets and pillow. She knew this is where her heart had wanted her to be, so she stayed right there, not sleeping just lying there. And she didn't get up for days she just let time pass.
*Give me these moments back Give them back to me Give me that little kiss Give me your hand.*
She finally got out of bed three days later. But only because Original Cindy had forced her to. She went to the funeral and Original Cindy another friend always stayed close to her because she kept zoning out so badly that she would just fall right over. Facing the reality of the situation was just too hard for her to do all of the time. Everything still seemed so surreal. She just couldn't believe he was gone.
*I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left*
The only man she would ever love was gone forever. She would never see him again never look into his eyes, hear his voice, touch him, kiss him. And she didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to live without him.
*I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things we should've said That were never said. All the things we should've done That we never did*
And she felt completely empty inside. Like she had died too. And in a way she had. The only thing she felt now was the pain of him not being there.
*All the things that you needed from me All the things that you wanted for me All the things I should've given But I didn't*
And nothing could ever make it better.
*Oh, darling, make it go away Just make it go away now. *
AN: sorry for having another sad one again. Please review it is my first real song fic (I have used a song or two in a chapter of a story but never had one for the hole story.) Even if you hated it just review to let me know you are reading it.