Patrick Jane had entertained many a thought since the demise of Red John. Two years worth of them to be precise. He'd imagined the way the sun would reflect off of her dark hair, of the way her skin glowed under the soft illumination of the desk lamp in her office back at the old CBI headquarters. But never, had the great Patrick Jane ever imagined that he would lose her to another man.
Agent Marcus Pike. The very name sent shivers up his spine, raised hackles like a cat at the mere sight of him. No one had expected that. One minute he was just some smarmy old FBI Agent from God-knows- where, the next minute there he was snuggled up to Lisbon on her old couch in front of Breakfast at Tiffany's on a Saturday evening. Not that he'd been spying on her or anything.
Sure, he'd not done anything to suggest he wanted their relationship to ever surpass the platonic stage, it was "More than Words" after all, but that didn't mean he hadn't wanted it. After two years of abstinence from the woman who had saved his soul from ruin, the sight of her sitting there in Abbot's office, hair curled around her shoulders, eyelashes kissing her soft pink cheeks almost had him running for the hills, Lisbon in tow, screaming out that he loved her from the very depths of his lungs until he passed out from the exertion. But when he caught sight of her beautiful green eyes, he saw something that he'd never seen before. Disappointment. And he didn't know how to handle it. So he hugged her instead, forcing her eyes away from him and up over his shoulders so he wouldn't have to look any more. Then there was the stupid in-flight conversation that had nearly torn his heart to shreds.
"You... You ran away again, Jane. Not from the FBI, you ran away from me again.
"Yeah, but I ran back!"
"How was I supposed to know? I thought you were gone again, for ever."
"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry, Lisbon. I didn't think about you."
"Well you rarely do."
"Well that's not true.. I made you one of my demands. I'm not joining the FBI unless they make you a job offer."
"That's my point. What makes you think I'd want to work with you again? You are difficult and exhausting, and maybe I don't want to put the rest of my life on hold to be your sidekick. Have you ever even thought about that?"
"No. I hadn't considered it."
"You think you know what's good for my life. But you haven't been a part of my life for two years."
He should have seen it coming. She'd withdrawn from him, retreated. Content to let Fisher do the investigating as she sat running background checks or, even more painfully, going out with Cho on stakeouts.
And then all of a sudden, her smile was back. There was a spring in her step and her eyes began to sparkle. He'd be lying if he'd said he wasn't happy for her, but he'd also be lying if he said he was gutted it wasn't him that put it there.
He knew he'd taken her dancing. By the way she hummed jazz songs in the kitchenette. They'd gone bowling together after work. Because he came to pick her up. And he knew he'd slept with her, by the soft glow in her cheeks and the bashful smile she sent his way. That one was the worst. Knowing that he'd lost the chance to run his fingers through her hair, to kiss his favourite freckle, to suckle on her collar bone which he knew would drive her wild. And all because he was afraid, of letting go of his mistakes made long ago.
Patrick Jane had entertained many a thought since the demise of Red John. Two years worth of them to be precise. But never, had the great Patrick Jane ever imagined that he would lose her to another man.