Yes, yet another "Edward all grown up" series. I've had this idea in mind for quite some time, but it just wouldn't stop bothering me. So now, I write this little series. Don't know how long it's going to be, don't know where it's going to go. All I know is that I need to get this whole thing out of my system NOW, or I will go absolutely crazy. So with that, let's begin.
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Cowboy Bebop: The Second Session
It was the Summer of 2081, and the night was young. The local Martian bar was bustling. It was also full of sorts of scum that you just didn't want to mess with. Men and woman who would kill you if they were on one side of room and you looked in their general direction, they would dismember you. Yeah, they were those kind of people. And is exactly why it is the perfect place to spot a criminal with a bounty on their head. And that was why such a good looking guy like myself was in such a dump. My name is Dexter Warren. But my friends call me Dex. I'm the one with the blonde hair that's slicked back and the sharp green eyes, in case you couldn't tell. Check out those awesome bangs hanging in the front. I'm also dressed in the black high collar jacket that zips up halfway, matching jeans and suede shoes. Why is such a good looking guy like me in such a lowly place like this? I'll tell you why… I'm a cowboy. And not just any cowboy. I'm the best, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I've never lost a bounty head. Ever. And right now, I was after a man named Seth Sosilla. The dude had stolen a truckload of cocaine-filled teddy bears that had recently been confiscated by police. Crazy sick bastard. Anyway, he was worth about 8 million woolongs, so there was no way that I was going to let him get away.
As I searched crowd in the dirty looking bar for my man, wearing my stylish shades of course, a vision of beauty caught my eye. She was absolutely gorgeous. Bronze skin, a full head of short shoulder length hair that slightly curled upwards at the bottom, almost cat-like yellow eyes. Did I mention she was a redhead? I really got a thing for redheads. She was dressed in a small white tube top that showed off her cute flat abs and bellybutton, black cut-off jean short shorts that nicely accentuated her ass, black boots, and white thigh high stockings. Oh yes. HELL YES. A Sexy, Sexy tomboy. Another nice touch were the two earring in the top portion of her left ear and the pink lipstick. Oh, and her cup size had to be a C at LEAST. Suddenly, we met eyes. She must have noticed that I was looking at her, because she winked at me. Score. I beckoned her over, surprised that things were moving along so quickly. I knew that I should be getting the job done first, but this was just too good to pass up!
…I would soon regret that choice.
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Session 1: Earth Girls Are Easy
Dex patted the seat next to him. "Come sit right here, babe… Where're you from?" he asked, putting a hand on his leg. 'This chick is in the bag…' He thought to himself with a smirk. 'No woman can resist me!'
Politely removing his hand from her leg and resisting the old habit of biting people that made her upset, she smiled. "The name is Françoise, and I'm from Earth…" she replied, using her real name to prevent suspicions. She smiled at him, crossing her legs. "What's your name, handsome?" she asked back, using any seductive terms or actions that she could remember from her only female role model from her childhood to get what she needed from this guy. He was way too attractive to be a normal visitor of this place. He had to know something about Sean Sosilla.
"The name is Dex…" the man said as he crossed his arms with a cocky look on his face. "And what's a pretty thing like yourself doing in a place like this?"
'Bleh, what cheesy pick-up lines!' Françoise thought to herself, suppressing a giggle. 'This guy is what Faye-Faye would call a "bonafide loser!" If he think he can get into anyone's pants that way, he is sorely mistaken!' "Well, I'm just looking for a little bear… Know where I can find one?"
"…You're a cowboy too, aren't you?" Dex asked, staring at her. "Or should I say 'cowgirl'?"
"Drats, I've been found out." Françoise said with a sultry smile.
"Damn, you were hot too…" Dex replied in disappointment. "Well, cute girl or not, Sosilla is mine…"
"Fine then." Françoise stood up, walking away. "I guess it's every man, or woman, for himself then… Good luck!" she said with another wink.
"You too, gorgeous." the male bounty hunter stood up as well, walking around the bar and surveying the area. "Damn, he's got to be around here somewhere…"
"I can't let that pervy guy get to my bounty head…" our favorite crazy hacker muttered to herself. "Jet-person will kill me if I screw this one up!"
At around the same time, they turned to see a guy that looked exactly like the description that the reports gave. He was very scrawny looking, eyebrow-less, with short and unkempt rust-red/brown hair, with a bit of a hump on his back, wearing a grimy and grease stained olive green t-shirt, old jeans, and sandals. In addition to having horrible fashion sense, the fool hadn't even made any sort of attempt to disguise himself. Both cowboys pointed their guns at him. Sosilla's narrow, blood shot eyes widened in surprise. "Freeze, Sosilla!" they both shouted in unison. Dex had taken his gun from a holster at his side, while Françoise pulled a smaller one out that was hidden in the thick sole of her boot. "You're coming with-- Huh? What the hell do you think you're doing? He's mine!" they asked as they realized that they had both spotted him at the same time.
The obviously high bounty head took this opportunity to run. "Damn it! He got away!" Françoise screamed, starting to run after him. "This is your fault, pervy man!"
"Pervy man?" Dex asked, running right next to her and also hot on the bounty head's tail. "What kind of insult is that!" He stared in shock and horror as the woman suddenly jumped to the ground, crawled on all fours, and bit the bounty head on the leg. After tripping Sosilla up, she then grabbed him and pinned him to the ground. Everyone in the seedy bar watched this go on in interest. "H-hey! That's my bounty head!" Dex screamed, losing his cool and pouting.
"Aww, don't be such a crybaby!" Françoise shouted, looking towards him. "If it means that much to you, we can split the money! But I get 66, 'cuz I'm sharing with a friend!" Currently distracted, Sosilla took yet another opportunity to escape, this time managing to slip from Françoise's grasp and elbowing her in the nose as she turned back around. She yelped in pain as she let go of Sosilla, grabbing her nose in pain.
"Are you okay?" Dex asked, not being able to turn down a woman in need. He gasped as she stood up, holding her nose as blood ran through her fingers.
"I'm fine! What the hell are you thinking? Go ahead and catch Sosilla!" the female bounty hunter screamed, pointing as their man left the bar.
'What a woman!' Dex thought to himself. 'She turns me on more and more! Although the animalistic tendencies I could do without…' He set his thoughts back to the task at hand. "R-right! Don't worry, I'll be right back with our bounty!" he shouted, running out of the bar after the high teddy bear thief. Dex's eyes widened as he saw the other man sitting in his ship. He shook his head, becoming delirious as the gray-blue mini-fighter jet looking ship began to fly off. "No! Not my King! Anything but that!" He screamed as the ship began to take off. "Nooo…"
"Well, there he goes! Bye bye…" Françoise said wistfully as she watched the ship fly off.
"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?" Dex asked, basically hyperventilating at this point. He groaned, falling to his knees. "Not only have I lost a bounty for the first time ever, but I lost my kick-ass ship as well… And on top of that, the hot chick turns out to be a complete space case…" He raised an eyebrow as his temporary partner put a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't you worry, pervy-man Dex…" Françoise said with a huge smile. "We'll catch him! All we need is back-up!" Pulling a head set out of her pocket, she turned it on. "Yo, Jet-person? Edward needs a lift. Oh yeah, Edward has a new friend with her, too…"
"…Who the hell is Edward?" Dex asked, giving her an odd face. This was getting mighty annoying and confusing.
The infamous Radical Edward giggled, tilting her head. "Edward is Edward, silly!" As the Bebop flew over from the distance and began to land, she smiled again. "Radical Edward, Jet-person, and the Bebop are ready to serve you!"
"Radical… Edward?" Dex said slowly, not believing what happening. "The famous hacker?"
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"Well, now isn't this interesting?" Jet crossed his arms, laughing. After picking up Ed and Dex, he chased after Sosilla into space with the Bebop. "The almost legendary Dex Warren is just a whiny kid…"
Dex sat on the sofa with his hands behind his head, having regained his composure. "Hey I'm not whiny, I'm just… I just lose my cool sometimes, okay? What's it to you, old man?"
"Old man!" Jet looked pretty much the same, but had a few gray hairs as middle age took it's toll. A few wrinkles made their home on his face as well. "Sure I'm 46, but still…"
"Damn, only that old?" Dex shook his head in sympathy. "Time has not been kind to you…" Looking around the ship, he raised an eyebrow. "Um, why are we just sitting here? The dude is right in front of us… And where's Edward?"
"Ed's warming up her ship, the Tomato II…" Jet explained. "We'll never catch up to Sosilla at the rate we're going…"
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In the hangar, Edward was preparing to launch in the Tomato II. The Tomato II, the name coming from 'second Tomato' and also a tribute to Spike's 'Swordfish II', was a red and yellow souped-up old amusement park ride car shaped like a plane that Ed had modified and had Jet turn into a full fledged ship for her once she rejoined the Bebop. The wings were equipped with two sets of machine guns and quick charge lasers that while not as powerful as the Swordfish II's, could still do some damage. The front had a retractable blade for some last resort enemy ramming action. And what would a Tomato be without a hacking program? The Tomato II's computer had a powerful program that could get into other ships computer's with ease. Radical Edward giggled happily as Jet gave her the okay to launch. "Okily dokily! Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV, launching!" The ship slowly ascended from the hangar, the thrusters sending it forward at near breakneck speed. She set her sights on Dex's ship the King, knowing that 8 million woolongs was inside. She was not about to let him get away…
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Watching from inside the Bebop as Ed chased down Sosilla, Dex rubbed his temples. "Please oh please, don't let her hurt my King…"
"Quit your whining, or I'll shove you into an airlock…" Jet muttered in an annoyed tone, half serious and half joking. "Ed knows what she's doing, leave her alone…"
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Ed flew past Sosilla, waving cheerfully as she looked and smiled at him. "Hey there, Mr. Bounty Head!" she shouted over the communications. "Could you please do me a favor and turn yourself in? It would make me oh so happy!"
"No way!" Sosilla screamed, speeding the ship he was piloting up a bit. "I already lost all my cocaine! Now I'm going to sell this damn ship! It has to be worth something!"
"Like hell you are!" Dex screamed, almost crashing through the window in rage. "Gimme back my ship, bastard!"
"I see…" Ed suddenly grinned, literally punching a big red button on the console. "Time for Edward to play rough!" The blade began to reveal itself from the front of her ship, glistening as it was fully unsheathed. Her eyes becoming even more feline-like, she snarled as she brought the Tomato II to full speed. "Gryaaaah!"
"NNNNNOOOOOO!" Dex and Sosilla screamed simultaneously, as Ed flew in closer and closer…
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"Oh my god!" Dex screamed, falling to his knees and crying his eyes out as he stared at his ruined vehicle. Luckily, it hadn't exploded, but it had a huge gaping hole in it. The Tomato II's nose was completely crushed in, and the blade broke off completely. In fact, it was still stuck in the King. "Ed, not only did you lose the bounty, but you completely trashed King…"
"Ed, I knew it would happen eventually, but you finally did it…" Jet muttered to himself, sighing. "You up and made a grown man weep like a baby…"
"Whoops, guess Ed over did it!" the hacker laughed heartily. "Too bad Sosilla used the eject seat at the last second! Oh well, easy come, easy go!"
"Ed, this is not something to take lightly…" Dex growled, clenching his fist angrily. "How are you going to repay me, HUH?"
"Oh quit whining…" Jet said gruffly. "This nothing compared to what Spike and Faye did to their shit… It will take me a while, but both the King and Tomato II should be up and working again, easy… But it looks like you're gonna have to stay here on the Bebop for now."
"Yay! Dex-person is staying!" Ed shouted happily, getting on her knees as well and hugging him around the neck.
"…What the hell have I brought on?" Dex asked himself, whimpering miserably. "I'm never hitting on a hot chick in a bar ever again…"
Welcome to the Family, Newcomer…