Regal Mischief
By Snapegirlkmf & CJ Moliere
The sharp high wail of a baby echoed through the Nolan's loft, waking Regina up for the third time that morning. The toddler sat up in her princess bed, a Royal Awful scowl on her face. She was NOT amused.
She jumped up from her bed and marched into her parents' room, her Disney Princess nightgown fluttering, looking like she was going to go all Evil Queen on someone. "Mommy, why can't you keep Cas from crying? He cries ALL the time! Maybe you oughta send him back to the hospital and get a new baby. One that ain't 'fective!" she snapped.
"Honey, he's not defective. All babies cry. You cried. It just...takes a bit of getting used to that's all. He's just letting us know he's hungry...needs changing or just wants some affection."
It was sometimes hard for Snow to remember that she' only been raising Regina from the age of three but the child's memories had been altered so that she knew no other mother but Snow. What memories she did have of Cora that surfaced were banished when Rumple dreamwalked with her.
"But he keeps wakin' me up!" her daughter growled grumpily. "I needs my beauty sleep!"
At first she had loved the fact that now there would be a new addition to the family, but in the month since baby Caspian had come home, after being woken up several times a night almost every night, she was quite willing to trade her baby brother in for some peace and quiet. Or move into Alina's tree house.
David couldn't help chuckling and tapped her nose affectionately. "You get lots of beauty sleep honey. Just give it a little more time and Cas will settle down."
"I think he cries more n' Dylan and Daria together," she stated.
"Oh I doubt that," Snow murmured.
In the back of her mind she had concerns that Regina was becoming jealous of her new sibling. After all, she'd had the Nolans to herself from the day she was deaged and though Emma was technically her older sister she had a family of her own to take care of and didn't take up as much of her parents' time.
"Or Ilyssa," she added, wondering if she could move into Fire Mountain with her big sister Emma. She could sleep in the dojo. It would be like camping out, and Henry could help her put a tent on the floor.
Snow got out of bed and picked her son, cradling him against her chest. That seemed to soothe him for the moment. David picked up Regina and sat her on his lap. "is something else bothering you besides Cas crying honey?"
Regina leaned into her dad's shoulder. She didn't know quite how to express how she was feeling, except grumpy and disgruntled over the fact that none of the adults she adored seemed to have any time for her anymore with all these babies to care for! Even her beloved Uncle Rumple didn't always have time to take her to the park or play with the puppet show with her now that the twins were born.
Irritably, she shook her head. "M' tired, Daddy." She yawned and rubbed her eyes.
"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me and Mommy about anything."
She shook her head stubbornly as she nestled closer to David, enjoying the smell of the Tide detergent that clung to him as well as his Brut aftershave. They made her feel safe and protected.
"If you change your mind..."
She couldn't tell her daddy that sometimes she wished she had never asked Daria and Dylan to give her a baby brother. Because then they would be disappointed in her and say she was a bad nasty little girl, the way the lady in the red dress did sometimes in her nightmares. She wasn't bad, she was good . . .or at least she tried to be.
Like Snow David too sensed something was bothering her but he couldn't determine whether it could be nightmares of Cora again or a bit of jealousy. He knew sometimes children went through a jealousy phase when a new baby came into the house but like Snow he'd grown up an only child and wasn't quite certain how to handle it.
"You're not having bad dreams, are you?"
Regina sighed. She didn't want to talk about the lady in the red dress. She scared her. "Daddy, when's Cas gonna DO something besides cry, sleep, eat, n' poop? I keep waitin' for him to do magic but nothing happens."
That was one reason why she thought her brother might be defective. Unca Rumple's twins could do magic from the moment they were born, and Ilyssa was able to also.
"Maybe he won't show his until later. Your Uncle Rumple said that sometimes happens with babies."
"Aww! But I want him to do something interesting!" she huffed. She felt the way she had when she pulled a prize out of the cereal box one time and the picture showed a cuddly stuffed bear and she got a dumb plastic ring that broke the next day.
Maybe it was time to ask her cousins for another wish.
"He may surprise you Miss Impatient," David laughed. "Come on. We've gotta let Princess out before she pees on the floor again and your mom makes us scrub it."
"I know!" his daughter rolled her eyes. "Cause she ain't potty trained all the way yet." That was another thing that was taking forever!
She jumped off her dad's lap and ran to get the puppy's pink leash with the faux diamonds on it.
In the kitchen, the nine-month old Dalmatian whined and scratched at her crate door.
The other day they'd forgotten to take the Dalmatian out because they were watching Frozen and she'd left an unholy mess on the living room rug by stepping in it before David and Regina noticed it. "Yes and we don't want anymore poo tracks on the rug either, do we Princess?'
The dog came out of the crate wagging her tail and licked Regina on the face before trotting to the door and barking.
"'Kay, Princess! I'm comin'! Cool yer jets!" Regina said, and snapped the leash on the Dalmatian's collar. "Daddy, hurry up n' get the door!"
The toddler was too small to reach the doorknob and even if she could have, there were locks.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Their door had more locks than a safe at Snow's insistence.
Then again, they didn't want Regina being able to get out and go wandering around Storybrooke as much as they didn't want anyone being able to get in.
They still didn't trust some of the people in the town around their daughter when all of them still remembered the Evil Queen she once was but Regina had come so far in this new life of hers that they were determined she would not follow the same dark path a second time.
After undoing the deadbolt and the child safety chain lock, David pulled the door open, and Regina grabbed the end of her dog's leash as the Dalmatian ran down the stairs and scratched at the door that led outside.
But that one Regina could reach and she turned the knob and opened it, letting the dog outside.
The puppy ran outside to the same grassy spot and sniffed about, Regina right behind her,
"Good girl!" the toddler praised as the puppy squatted. "I wish we had a big yard for you to run in like Unca Rumple's."
Maybe we should get a bigger place...David thought.
Princess wagged her tail. "Ruff!" she barked, as if agreeing with her mistress.
"Maybe someday we can get a house," Regina mused. "An' I can have swingset n' a play castle."
"Hmmm...you know honey...that might not be a bad idea..."
"Really? Can I have a castle with a slide?" his daughter asked eagerly. "Like the one I saw on TV?"
When she had watched Goosebumps the other afternoon, there had been an advertisement for a Disney Princess castle with a slide. The castle had been made of sturdy plastic and resembled the Cinderella castle at Disney World.
"Ummm we could...if we can find one."
"Ya gotta go online," Regina informed him. "Henry says you can get anything online."
"And I can get in a LOT of trouble online," David grimaced.
Then she added, "Only Alina says you gotta be careful cause there's thieves that steal your money and if ya talk to girls you gotta make sure they ain't crazy or bimbos. Whatever that is. Unca Rumple said I didn't need to know."
"Ummm...yeah..." He didn't dare tell his daughter he'd accidentally wandered onto an adult site and a hacker had stolen their account passwords.
"Jimmy was gonna tell me, but Unca Rumple tol' him to hush his mouth or else he'd be scrubbin' all the bathrooms with a toothbrush." Regina huffed. "Kids never get to learn anything till they're old n' have Old Timer's Disease!" she said in aggrieved tones.
"Sometimes it's better that way honey. Trust me!"
She shrugged. "So when we movin' outta here?" was her next question.
She hoped it was soon and when they got their new house she would have her room on one side, far away from her baby brother's so he couldn't wake her up with his screams.
"Well...ahhh...I gotta talk it over with your mom and we have to look for a place..."
"Just ask Unca Rumple. He'd know," she told him confidently. Rumple knew EVERYTHING. Including when she was thinking of being naughty.
"Okay. I will. After Princess finishes doing her business we'll talk to Mommy."
Archie Hopper was walking down the street with Pongo when he spotted the Nolans outside with Princess. "Good morning!" he called out cheerfully.
"Hiya, Dr. Hopper!" Regina waved and Princess woofed and tried to run over to sniff noses with Pongo.
The therapist had to admit that he preferred little Regina than the adult one since she'd terrorized him during the curse so that he would try to convince Henry that the stories in the Once Upon a Time book were nothing more than that.
Pongo woofed a greeting back, dragging Archie along as he raced over to meet the younger Dalmatian.
Regina giggled, then called to her dog, "Princess, don't give too many kisses else you'll get cooties!"
The puppy was licking Pongo under the chin.
Archie chuckled. "Oh, she's learned about that already, has she?"
"Regina learns things and I have no clue where," David admitted.
Archie glanced down at the two dogs and had a sudden inspiration. "Ummm...I have somewhere I need to be this afternoon and I was going to leave Pongo at the apartment but...would you and Snow be able to look after him until I get back?"
Regina looked delighted. "Yes! Daddy, we ain't doin' anything today an' Princess needs a dog date!"
Archie chuckled. "Isn't she a bit young yet?"
"Henry says dogs mature fast," Regina put in. "He says dogs age 7 years for every one of people."
"Well...ahh...I suppose you're right..." He pulled David aside. "I might run a bit late..."
"See what I mean?" her father gestured. "All right, I'll ask Snow. I'm sure she won't mind dogsitting for the afternoon. Having Pongo there might even calm this black and white whirlwind of destruction down," David said.
The former prince winked at him knowingly. "And I think I know why. Don't worry about it. If we start getting antsy, we can always go over to Rumple's house."
"How? I haven't told anyone...!"
David clapped him on the shoulder. "Archie, old pal, I might be married, but I'm not dead yet!"
"Oh all right...Belle...she suggested I go on one of those...dating sites...and I did and I started talking to a child psychologist from Portland and she asked me to meet her for lunch..."
"Good for you. Hope it works out, buddy. Just make sure she's not some bimbo out for your money," he warned.
"No, she's not. Rumple and Emma checked her out. Her name is Lilliana Bergmann, she's a widow and has a successful practice of her own."
"Sounds good to me."
"Which brings me to another matter. How is Regina handling Caspian?"
"Uh . . . she's starting to get a little jealous, I think. She's not used to having to share our attention and Cas doesn't sleep through the night and I'm not sure if it's him waking her up or her having nightmares but she's acting out more."
"Maybe you should bring her by my office one of these days and we'll all sit down and talk to her. As far as the nightmares are concerned, you might want to talk to Rumple and have him dreamwalk again."
"Yeah, I will. He said that what he's done might not have been enough. That repressed memories from her childhood could resurface any time. But I think last time he dreamwalked her with Rhea they tagged a lot of the memories so he could go in later and remove them."
"Plus I think I'll run some of this by Lilly and maybe she'll have some suggestions for me since she has more experience with younger patients than I do."
"That would help. I was going to ask Rumple, but I feel bad depending on him for everything, like he's my private problem solver," David said quietly.
"He doesn't seem to mind. You're not taking advantage of him as some people in town tend to do." Archie frowned. "I'm hoping we don't run into Whale at Granny's today. Lilly's family and his...have a history."
David grimaced. "Do I want to know?"
"I was shocked when she told me she's from his realm...and was even more so when she told me her uncle was a victim of one of his...experiments and I use the term loosely."
"Oh Lord! I can just imagine! He's more like a mad scientist than an MD." David shook his head. "Snow and I don't trust him. We go and see someone else, and Regina sees Doc Rogers for her checkups, he's the pediatrician."
"Good. He's still a ghoul."
"During the curse he seemed to be okay but now . . .I don't know." David especially didn't like him because he'd slept with Snow during that time, and even uncursed he still had the reputation of being a Lothario.
"I'll never trust him. Regina, would you come over here please?"
"What's up, Doc?" she smirked and ran over to the therapist.
He laughed. "You know I'm going somewhere this afternoon and I'm trusting you to look after Pongo for me. Make sure he goes out when he needs to do his business and that he eats around three but he likes to play too. If you do a good job I'll bring you a surprise back."
"Really? Cool! I'll take the bestest care of him!" she reassured him. "Thanks! Does he like Beggin' Strips? Princess does."
"Yes he does." He reached into his pocket and handed her a green ball. "He likes to chase it in the park."
"Daddy and I can go to the park, while Mommy takes care of Cas. Or maybe we can all go to the park."
"We'll see what Mommy says if not we'll go."
"That would be great. I'd better get going . thank you David...and Regina what kind of surprise do you want?"
"I dunno. You can pick it. Just make sure it ain't something dumb!"
"Regina! Manners!" David scolded.
She immediately hung her head. "Sorry."
"Good girl."
"Goodbye. I'll see you later!" Archie called out as he walked away.
Regina picked up Pongo's leash and said, "C'mon, Daddy! We gotta tell Mommy." She began walking inside the building, Pongo beside her, not pulling on the leash like her own puppy did.
Snow had just finished feeding Caspian when Regina entered the apartment leading Pongo. "Honey, what are you doing with Pongo? Did he get lost?"
"No, Mommy, Archie hadta go somewhere an' we're dogsitting!" Regina crowed. She unhooked the Dalmatian's leash and said, "Sit!"
When the dog sat obediently, she ran to get the bag of treats in the cupboard.
"He's having lunch with someone from our world he met online," David explained when he came in with Princess.
Snow raised an eyebrow. "With a lady friend? How wonderful. As long as she isn't . . .what do they call them here? A maneater?"
"I doubt it...the only person she'd want to destroy is Whale." David smirked. "Not that I blame her."
Why?" Snow asked warily, burping her son.
Meanwhile, Regina was making Pongo and Princess shake hands and feeding them Beggin' Strips.
"Archie said he used her uncle for one of his experiments."
"Oh no! That's awful!" Snow groaned. "I hope everything works out for Archie."
Just then Cas burped loudly. "Good job, my little prince," his mother cooed.
Her son gurgled at her and opened and closed his mouth like a baby bird's.
"I love when he does that," Snow murmured. "It's so cute!"
"Mommy...lookit! I gots Pongo and Princess to shake hands!" Regina yelled.
"You did? No way!" exclaimed her mother. "Let me see." She held the baby up so he could see also. "Watch what your big sister can do, Caspian."
"Yeah cause it's not gross like burpin...you get any on ya?" Regina giggled
"Not this time," her mom laughed. Her son was famous for christening everyone and everything.
Regina called the dogs over into the den and had them perform the same trick they had done for her in the kitchen. Both dogs sat and gave each other a paw when the child told them to "Shake hands, please."
"That's wonderful sweetie."
"We gotta have a dog date for them like in Lady and The Tramp."
"Maybe we can do that down at the park," David suggested. "Are you up for that, Snow?"
"I think it's a great idea."
"Then let's go," her daughter yelled and went to get Pongo's leash.
They were hoping that all of them spending the day together would help Regina not feel so jealous and understand her parents had enough room in their heart for all of their children.
As David helped gather up some things for Caspian, he said, "Oh and another thing, Snow. Regina mentioned she wished she had big yard like Rumple's. What would you think about looking for a bigger place?"
"I've been thinking about it some too. We do need a bigger place. Regina doesn't have as much room to run around here as she does when she goes to Rumple's."
"I know, and she also mentioned she wants a play castle like the one she saw on TV and a swingset. Plus when Cas gets older, we're gonna need the room."
"We can talk to Rumple about a place tomorrow."
"Yes, since he's the landlord he'll know if one's available." He hoisted the diaper bag on his shoulder and carried the 4-in-1 under his arm. "Regina, can you manage the two dogs, or you want me to take Pongo?"
"I'm good. C'mon Pongo, c'mon Princess. We're goin to the park!"
Both Dalmatians barked and pricked up their ears. Then they followed Regina down the stairs again.
She grabbed her backpack off the sofa that had her markers and coloring books in it too.
She made sure the green ball was in her jacket pocket.
"Hey Mommy, you gonna be able to take me trick or treating this year?" Regina asked Snow.
"I can. Since I'm not in the hospital. We can all go as a family this year. What would you like us to be?"
"How about the Incredibles?" Charming suggested.
"Cool! And Daddy I wanna see that new Good Dinosaur movie coming out."
"Yeah I figured that," David laughed, and hoped it wouldn't lead to a protest like the Free Birds movie had on Thanksgiving.
"And you gotta 'member no turkey on Thanksgiving 'cause I'm not eatin Reggie's friends."
David facepalmed himself. Here we go again!
"Cause if I catch ya I'm gonna make signs, stand out in the yard and I'm gonna be on the news."
"Honey, remember what Uncle Rumple always says . . .in your house you eat what you like, but in someone else's house you don't tell people what to eat. Now, you can have pizza or ham for Thanksgiving instead of turkey, and this way you won't be disloyal to Reggie."
Snow persuaded as she pushed Caspian in his stroller.
"Yeah but Daddy better eat ham or pizza or else!"
David made a face. Maybe he could sneak some turkey later at night, when Regina was asleep.
When they reached the park, Regina let both dogs off their leads so she could play fetch with them with Pongo's ball. Her parents settled themselves on a park bench to watch and as they did so, they spotted two familiar figures also pushing strollers. One was Bae, with their granddaughter Ilyssa, and the other was Rumple with his twins, in their double stroller.
"Hello, dearies! How are you this morning?" Rumple greeted them.
In the stroller, the twins waved and Daria saw Pongo and barked like a dog. Dylan reached out and a hydragea bush beside the bench burst into bloom.
Bae laughed. "Look at that. It's Miracle Gro Gold!"
"I'm dog sitting!" Regina cried.
"Hope you have insurance," Bae joked. "I feel like we're on Storybrooke Romper Room."
"Unca Rumple when's Cas gonna do magic? All he does now is cry eat an poop...booorrring!"
Rumple chuckled. Then he beckoned to his irrepressible nice to come to him while he seated himself on a bench nearby. When she had climbed up on his lap, he said, "Well, dearie, remember how I told you that we all have special gifts in us? Sometimes that means we don't all do things at the same time either. Cas was just born a month ago, so perhaps it'll take time for him to show his magical gifts. Remember, Ilyssa didn't till she was around three months old."
"Well it's taking for-EVER for him to get old enough!"
Rumple tapped her nose gently in reproof. "It only seems like forever. And what have I told you about being impatient? Do you remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare?"
"Ummm yeah..."
"All things happen in their own time, Miss Bossypants. Your little brother will grow into his magic eventually. However long it takes. If you're bored with waiting for that to happen, why don't you draw a picture while you wait?"
"Ummm I could...gonna drawn something for Halloween. Dunno what I wanna be this year."
"Maybe you can think about it and draw some ideas for a costume," the old sorcerer suggested. He was glad that his niece wanted to be something original for Halloween and not something commercialized, like all the other small girls in Storybrooke, who were dressing up like Elsa, Anna, Joy from Inside Out and Merida. He felt the whole holiday was becoming as much a commercial racket as Christmas.
"Yeah cause I really don't wanna be Elsa ...too many other girls dressing up like her. Want something different."
Then she smirked, recalling an incident that occurred in her uncle's shop a while back. "Maybe I could be that really annoying witch who had you in a cage!"
"What? No one had me in a cage, dearie!" he protested.
"Ummm I saw it in that mirror or did I dream it?"
"You fell asleep on your little cot in my back room, so I think you dreamt it," her uncle replied.
"Yeah but she was really irritating!" Regina laughed. "I got her good!"
"And that's how it should be," he chuckled.
"Emma and I are going as the king and queen of Ireland and Ilyssa's a baby princess," Bae said.
"Maybe we could be Uther and Igraine?" David mused. "And Cas could be baby Arthur?"
"And Regina, you could be Princess Morgana," Snow replied.
"Can I ?" she asked hopefully.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Snow," Rumple remarked. "Two royal families."
The adults were looking forward to Rumple's party. Snow and David had missed it last year but had an amusing video of Bae and Emma's antics including Bae singing and Emma imitating a valley girl.
"Maybe I'll be Shrek this year and Belle can be Fiona," the former imp giggled wickedly.
"Better be dressed like ogres and not them as people...didn't look right," Regina spoke up.
"Well of course we'll be dressed like ogres . . .it wouldn't be any fun if we weren't. And the twins can be the ogrelings."
Regina giggled. "Are they gonna use your ear wax for crayons?"
Rumple tickled her. "Maybe . . . but they're a little young for coloring yet. Now how about you think about the houses you want to visit and draw a map for Mommy and Daddy to follow so they don't get lost?" he suggested. He winked at Snow and David. Keeping the energetic girl occupied was a full time job.
"Okay."
Then the sorcerer pointed to the two Dalmatians who looked bored. "But why don't you play with Pongo and Princess now? They look lonely."
Regina recalled then why she had wanted to go to the park and jumped off Rumple and began throwing the ball for the dogs to fetch.
It was then Snow came up to him and whispered, "We think Regina's been having bad dreams again, Rumple. Like on last Halloween."
The old wizard frowned. "Has she spoken about any of them?"
"No, but . . .she may be afraid to . . . she woke up in a mood this morning and at first I thought it was a little jealousy because Caspian was crying and it woke her, you know how cranky she is when someone wakes her up . . ."
Rumple grimaced. "Oh, do I ever. Right, Bae?"
Bae rolled his eyes. "Yes, Papa."
The child was a Royal Brat with a Royal Attitude when you woke her up suddenly, and could remain sulky, pouty, and whiny for hours. A fact that both Gold men had learned the hard way when they had babysat her before.
"If ilyssa gets like that I'm gonna have be locked up."
"You'd better pray she inherited the Gold Good Morning genes," his father smirked. "At least my twin terrors wake up happy most mornings."
"I guess I'll find out soon enough..."
Regina was having a wonderful time with the dogs, tossing the ball to them and watching them bring it back. Though Princess was still a puppy she was happy to have another dog to play with and her young mistress was hoping there would be other dogs near her new house.
"If you want me to dreamwalk her again, bring her by the house after you've gone trick-or-treating," Rumple suggested. "She can help us make some of the treats for the party and that ought to tire her out."
"We'll do that."
"Belle wants to make hot dog mummies on sticks and a pizza snake and popcorn balls and I don't know what else. I think Alice suggested yodel tombstones and eyeball donuts. And Zombie Brains dip."
"A graveyard cake?" Snow suggested.
"You want to make something, be my guest. Maybe that ought to be the forfeit this year-a treat." Rumple smirked.
"I can't cook!" David protested.
"Then you'll have to do a trick," the mage grinned.
"Papa, I'll make Bloody Marys and Boo Goo," Bae replied.
David was grinning. "I can whip up some Devil's Punch."
"Boo Goo?" Snow raised an eyebrow.
"Yup. Marshmallow caramel fondu dip," her son-in-law replied. "It's awesome. Your grandson almost ate the whole pot last time I made it."
"My Devil's Punch is adults only," David laughed. "If you can handle it."
"Trust me," Bae assured him. "My Bloody Mary's are extra spicy. They can kick your ass."
"Okay then let's see who can make the strongest drink," David challenged.
Snow rolled her eyes. "Men! FYI-I'M not putting YOU to bed, Nolan!"
"Baelfire, you get sick on my bathroom floor and YOU'RE gonna clean it," Rumple threatened.
"Ah don't worry hon. I'll be fine. Bae's gonna be the one with a problem," the former prince boasted.
"I don't THINK so," the martial arts instructor shook his head. David forgot Bae had been initiated by Master Kitaro's nephew Kenji in the art of strong drinking and using several Eastern techniques to avoid being truly drunk. At least for awhile.
"I'll keep a mop and a bucket handy," his father sighed.
"Does he need us to remind him how trashed he and Emma were in New York?"
Bae blushed. "Yeah and I wasn't the only one-Papa."
"I wasn't intending to get drunk!" his father protested. "I was trying to keep David from having a panic attack. Had I known the way alcohol doesn't affect you while flying . . ."
"And boy you were sicker than a dog the next morning."
Rumple scowled. "One time in all my three hundred and fifty-three years, Charming. And never again!"
"We'll see."
"Oh we will, dearie."
Regina came running over to them with a hand drawn map in her hands and waved it around. "Mommy, Daddy lookit! I made a map to where I wanna live!"
Snow studied it. "And just where is this, darling?"
"Ummm...the street down from Unca Rumple's that ole blue house!"
"The old blue house . . .?" Rumple frowned. "You mean the one that used to be Humpty Dumpty's house?"
"Yeah but we gotta fix it up cause its prolly a mess since he doesn't live there anymore."
Following a sudden trip and fall down the stairs during the Storybrooke Blizzard, the old egghead professor had to move to a house with no stairs and his old house now stood empty.
"We can do that," David said. "How much are you asking, Rumple?"
"I'll have to see the specs again," the landlord replied. Whatever he had been charging the professor he would lower it for his relations.
"Can we go see it 'fore we go home?"
He made a mental note to look up the property in his computer when he got home.
Just then the twins began fussing, banging on their stroller and making "Mmm!" noises.
"Looks like my dearies are hungry. It's lunchtime for them," their papa said and handed each of them a stick of hardened honey shortbread, which they could munch on until they arrived home. "I'd better be going before there's a riot."
"An I gotta feed Pongo at three!" Regina cried.
"And I need to pick up Henry."
They all bid each other goodbye and returned home.
After she fed the dogs Regina kept thinking about Halloween. "You should go with me Princess."
"But you gotta have a costume first..."
She knew they made clothing for dogs but one of her previous efforts to dress Princess ended in disaster when the Dalmatian tore the little shirt she had her father buy to shreds.
She needed something the dog couldn't get off of her or rip apart.
She glanced down at the markers in her pencil box and smiled as an idea came to her. "I can make you an Pongo scary without costumes!"
Luckily her mom and dad were busy with Cas, or at least her dad was giving him a bath while her mom napped.
She drew little black spiders on both dogs with her markers then stepped back to admire her handiwork. "There. Now you're scary and can go trick or treat with me!"
Princess whimpered, not really liking this new look.
Pongo's ears drooped and he covered his face with his paws. Both dogs looked at each other and felt vastly put upon.
Pongo knew from experience the former queen was a menace as an adult but as a child she was a holy terror!
Princess looked at the elder Dalmatian and whimpered the dog equivalent of, Why me? They told me having a human child to play with would be fun. But it's . . .a nightmare! My beautiful spotted coat!
And why...why did Archie leave me with HER of all people! Pongo whined.
Regina gazed at the two dogs, pleased with her handiwork. Now they looked scary and creepy, just like dogs were supposed to look on Halloween.
Picking up Archie's scent Pongo raced to the front door and scratched at it impatiently. Get me out of here!
Just then the doorbell rang.
"Daddy! I think Archie's back!" Regina shrilled.
"I'm coming!" David called back.
Caspian began wailing, and Snow woke up and took her son from her husband, freeing him to answer the door.
Archie stood on the other side with a woman beside him. "Hi. David, this is Lilly."
"Hello, David Nolan, pleased to meet you," he shook her hand.
Archie kneeled down to pet Pongo and gasped in shock. "David! What on earth is all over my dog!"
"What are you talking about?" the former prince asked, then he gasped and his eyes bugged out as he caught sight of their own dog . . . who looked like a victim of an artist gone insane. "Oh my God! Regina did you do this?"
"I gave him and Princess Spidey spots for Halloween."
David sputtered in horror. Snow entered holding Cas and saw Archie and a pretty woman standing in the den. "Hello, I'm Mary Margaret. You must be Lilly. Welcome to our home. Won't you sit down?"
Lilly was giggling. "Thank you.."
Archie glowered at his date. "What's so funny?"
"Oh this is the kind of thing Meredith would do...and did, remember me telling you about it?"
"Mary Margaret, LOOK at what Regina did to the poor dogs!" her husband cried, pointing first to Princess and then to Pongo.
Snow just then noticed the . . .spiders on the dogs. "Oh . . .oh my word!" she cried, then she abruptly began laughing, unable to help herself. She had to sit down on the couch so she didn't drop Cas, who was now gurgling.
"My granddaughter Meredith is a year older than Regina and last Halloween she took my daughter's makeup and put it on the cat."
"I think they look good n scary like they're sposed to for Halloween," Regina huffed.
David groaned. "Regina, remember the time you painted Uncle Rumple's collie with Easter egg dye? You know you're not supposed to-to decorate animals."
He looked apologetically at Archie. "I'm so sorry. I swear she was great with them until now. One minute she's sweet as sugar and the next she's like Dennis the Menace."
He gave his daughter an I'm-Very-Disappointed Look. "Regina Nolan, what do you say to Archie?"
"M...m'sorry," she murmured, staring at her shoes.
"Now you go and face the wall for five minutes, young lady," her exasperated father said. "I hope that the marker comes off when you give them a bath."
"It's all right Regina,"Archie said softly while she stood in the corner whimpering.
"I . . .I don't understand what gets into her," David muttered. "I swear it's like sometimes she's two kids . . .the good one who listens to us and does what we tell her and then there's this . . .mischievous little imp that drives me to drink!"
"It's not..acting out because of the baby is it?" Archie asked Lilly. She shook her head.
"You have more experience with this kind of thing than we do," Snow admitted.
"No. Sometimes children do silly things and they're not harmful. Now it would be a cause for concern if she had harmed either of the dogs," Lilly replied.
"Daddy, I'd never hurt Princess n' Pongo!" the child sniffled. "I jus' wanted them to have a costume for Halloween! One that Princess couldn't rip up." She was still in the corner, but her hearing was sharper than the adults realized.
They all looked at each other.
David wished Rumple were there. He always seemed to know how to get through to his daughter without being overly harsh or sounding like an idiot.
Lilly stood up and walked over to the corner where the child was standing and smiled at her. "We know that honey. Like I said...my granddaughter did something similar to her cat but they don't always like it."
"But why? They look cool."
"Let me put it to you another way...suppose someone painted you up to look like something that made you uncomfortable. Would you think you looked cool...or not?"
Regina thought about this. "Umm . . .no. I'd think I looked dumb."
"Right...and Princess and Pongo aren't feeling cool right now so how can we make them happy?"
"Umm . . .by washing them off?" Regina sighed.
"Right and maybe Mommy or Daddy will help you."
"Okay. But then . . .what is Princes gonna be for Halloween?"
"Maybe she's happier being herself."
Regina cocked her head. "But I thought you was supposed to be someone else for Halloween."
"Dogs don't need to. They just like to go along as they are to look after you."
"Like to protect me? Like when Unca Rumple drove off the nasty witch finder ghost last Halloween?"
"That's right sweetie."
"Okay. I guess that's good."
"If you do a good job bathing Pongo I still have that surprise I owe you," Archie spoke up.
"Mommy, can you help?" Regina begged. "You're better giving Princess a bath than Daddy. Last time he tried we had a flood."
"Oh come on!" David cried. "I'm not a disaster!"
"You are too," Regina disputed. "You forgot to turn the water off an it got all over the floor then it leaked down into Mister Finn's place an he was real mad."
"She kept trying to escape and I've only got two arms!"
"Then maybe we oughta ask Unca Rumple to make you a real spiderman so's you have enough hands to do stuff."
"Ummm don't you think no I'd look kinda ridiculous having eight arms, honey?"
"Nah, not when you can do lotsa stuff an be cooler than Spiderman. He's not a real Spiderman anyway cause HE'S only got two hands."
Snow laughed at the mental image she had in her head of her husband with eight arms. "It would be interesting. Come on honey, let's go get this marker washed off the dogs so Archie can take Pongo home."
Princess was all to eager to participate in bath time this time since it would get those awful spiders off her beautiful coat. She hoped her young mistress wouldn't be getting anymore "dress up the dog" ideas.
Once they were finished Regina was surprised when the two dogs licked her cheek.
"You're not mad at me?"
"Woof!" The Dalmatians gave slight shakes of their heads.
"Okay. I promise not to make you dress up for Halloween anymore."
When they took the dogs back out to the living room Archie handed Regina a coloring book for The Good Dinosaur.
"I wasn't sure what else to get."
"What do you say, Regina?" Snow prompted.
"Thank you Doc!" she cried as she hugged his knees.
David and Snow breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully her new present would keep her occupied and they could avoid any more mischief but knowing Regina, it was only a matter of time before she got into more!